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WHAT'S INSIDE: Here is a simple and practical way to make her feel more comfortable with you from the very start...which always leads to GREAT things.
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IT'S SIMPLE: GOOD MEN NEED GOOD WOMEN
A "big four" man deserves what he wants.
Sure, you want her to be sexy. But she needs to be the whole package.
Where is this woman? How do you spot her? How do you attract her?
Big questions, concise and effective answers:
The "Big Four" Woman
Not just another superficial "meet women" program. This is for grown-ass men who want the right woman, once and for all.
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DO THIS AND SHE'LL FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE WITH YOU IMMEDIATELY
"It's like we've known each other for TEN YEARS, not TEN MINUTES."
Those are the magic words indicating a woman is completely comfortable in your presence.
As we've talked about before, a major linchpin of the "big four" along with confidence, masculinity and character is the ability to cause a woman to feel safe and comfortable in your presence, aka "inspiring confidence".
If she's attracted to you but doesn't feel safe around you she won't answer your phone calls and/or actually go out with you, despite any signals she sends that she likes you.
Women are "security seeking creatures".
They are more circumspect when it comes to potential for physical harm than we are. It's amazing how many women live their lives in fear.
When in doubt, we should err on the side of helping a woman feel safe and comfortable...from the very moment we meet her.
There's not really a "stage", as some PUAs suggest, during any particular interaction with a woman that you "build comfort".
It has to be in effect from the very first second and remain throughout your entire relationship with her.
Now obviously, when starting a conversation with a woman you want to get her to talk about herself rather than doing all the talking, especially if you end up going on and on to her about yourself. We've covered that extensively in the past.
Here is a golden strategy when making conversation with a woman to help her feel more comfortable with you.
It's simple but magical, easy to remember, and will transform your fortunes with women.
When getting a woman to talk about herself be sure to avoid "why" questions, especially in response to something she says she did or something she prefers.
Whenever we ask someone "why" they did something or prefer something or have a certain opinion on something it comes off as if we're questioning their judgment or even belittling them for it.
Examples:
Her: "Well, I work for Insurance Company X."
You: "Why did you choose to work there?"
Or...
Her: "I drive a little Volkswagen Beetle."
You: "Why would you drive one of those?"
"Why" questions put someone on the defensive. That's never a secure feeling.
The worst part about a "why" question is it signals potential confrontation and/or "silent" judgment.
Since the perception you're thinking negatively about her is "under the radar" and as yet unspoken, the net negative impact on her comfort level with you is actually WORSE than if you had told her you thought her job or her car were terrible.
Ironic, isn't it? After all, most of us don't intend to come off that way. In our mind, we're just asking open-ended questions and making all the right moves.
Contrast the vibe surrounding "why" questions with that created by simple teasing, which doesn't come off as confrontational.
This is because she knows where you stand and presumes you're purposefully bantering with her for the sake of pure playfulness.
Examples:
Her: "Well, I work for Insurance Company X."
You: "That's a shame. Company Y is who I go with, so now you can't get me an extra discount using your feminine charm."
Or...
Her: "I drive a little Volkswagen Beetle."
You: "Oh geez...what a GIRL car. I bet you'll even trade it in for a minivan someday when you have a bunch of babies."
If teasing banter isn't really a part of your personality, no worries. You can focus instead on asking "what" or "how" questions instead of "why" questions:
Examples:
Her: "Well I work for Insurance Company X."
You: "Really? What exciting superhuman heroics do you perform on the job all day?"
Or...
Her: "I drive a little Volkswagen Beetle."
You: "No kidding? How do those things handle on the racetrack? I would think if you drift it too hard around the corner the daisies would fly out of the vase on the dashboard."
OK, OK...obviously, I've got too much "teasing banter" in my DNA to leave well enough alone.
But note how "what" and "how" questions indicate more of a curious intrigue on your part than signaling imminent confrontation like "why" questions do.
It's all about her emotional response to the nature of the conversation YOU are leading.
If she feels she genuinely intrigues you, she'll feel MORE comfortable with you.
Contrast that with what she'd feel if you were to challenge her in a confrontational way with "why" questions.
If you are a masculine "big four" man who creates attraction by your very presence (tone of voice, how you carry yourself, being relaxed, etc.) then using "what" or "how" questions instead of "why" questions will be like pure catnip to women.
Finding a man who actually cares about who she is and what she is into in addition to what she looks like is every beautiful woman's dream.
Note that I've not mentioned gushing compliments her way or interjecting "sexual innuendo" into the conversation.
I solemnly promise your masculine presence PLUS simple intrigue--even free of any focus on sexual themes--WILL intrigue her in return.
After all, she's following your lead. Deserve what you want.
Sexual interest will follow soon enough, and likely WAY sooner than if you forced the issue.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
X & Y Communications
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