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WHAT'S INSIDE: You see her and you want to meet her, but either the timing or the scenario make it look nearly impossible to do so. Here's the solution...
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HOW TO MEET A WOMAN...EVEN IN THE MOST CHALLENGING SITUATIONS YOU CAN THINK OF (PART ONE)
Let's face it. Cold approaches are hardcore enough, even if the woman is sitting by herself in an empty coffee shop already smiling at you.
But even if you've conquered the fear of approaching with a big, heavy hammer there are some situations that can make the most seasoned pickup guru scratch his head and go, "Now what?"
Well, by now you know I'm all about eliminating the phrase "Now what?" from our collective vocabulary.
Until that day finally gets here, however, here are some practical suggestions--rapid-fire style, mind you--for meeting a woman you just HAVE to talk to, regardless of how sticky the situation is.
How about a "top ten list"?
Here are the first five this time 'round:
1) She's Walking The Opposite Way Down A City Street
In a scenarios like this, you've got to be pragmatic...and you've got to be fast. There's no time for THINKING, just ACTION.
If ever the "three second rule" is particularly mission-critical, it's under circumstances such as this.
So call it out like it is. Approach the woman from an angle where she can see you, tap her on the shoulder and pronounce--bluntly--"Look, I saw you and I knew I HAD to meet you. You're obviously headed somewhere and so am I, so give me your number so we can continue this conversation properly later."
First of all, you'll be shocked by how frequently your sheer boldness turns a woman on in situations such as this.
Second of all, you'd better have something to write with. There's no time for trifling with cell phones, etc. Write her number on your hand.
2) She's Got Headphones On
Oftentimes we automatically assume that a woman has headphones on at the gym, beach or wherever to "tune us out". You're probably right.
But all you need to remember is that women are hard-wired to follow our lead, and they are NOT hard-wired to their iPods.
Again, approach from an angle that won't seem like she's being ambushed, get eye contact with her--even if you have to get right in front of her face to face (at least 18" away, please)--and simply tap your ear.
That's the universal symbol for, "Would you please remove your earphones?"
Prepare to be shocked by how consistently this works. And when she loses the headsets, also be prepared to introduce yourself.
As always, your confidence will be credited to you by any woman with her head screwed on straight. That is, unless you're flat-out creepy, or something--which you're not.
3) She's On The Phone
The first step here is to RELAX. You do not have to solve "world peace" within the next thirty seconds.
Be patient and let the game come to you.
If you don't have anywhere to be for the next few minutes, you'll be pleasantly surprised by how seldom women's phone calls really last the eternity that stereotype would lead you to believe.
And when she hangs up, simply walk up to her with a smile and tell her that you'd like to make friends with her, but only because it's obvious she must already know how to make friends pretty easily...considering that she was making such good use of her cell phone.
By the way, the longer she was on the phone, the better this works, so don't sweat it.
And what if her phone call seems interminable? Well there's no two ways about it: You're going to have to grow a pair.
Position yourself in front of her and start shaking your head subtly while hopefully making eye contact with her. We all as humans are naturally curious, so chances are EXCELLENT that she'll interrupt her phone conversation to acknowledge you.
At that point, you simply say, "You know, I saw you from across the room and knew I had to meet you. But from the looks of things, you've got LOTS of friends already. And I'm pretty spoiled...I'm used to being top priority." Then make sure to crack a sly smile after the mandatory couple of seconds.
If she doesn't love you for this, and hang up in homage to your sheer courage, then you had no chance anyway...and are probably better off. Trust me on that.
4) She's On Public Transportation
This is one I get asked about a lot. Whether on a subway or on the bus, the first thing to remember is that you are BOTH in the same boat (perhaps literally), so now is NOT the time to get self-conscious because you don't have a car or something.
On the other hand, what it IS time to do is MOVE with a quickness. You have no idea when her stop is coming, so you've got to assume that you only have thirty seconds MAX.
You've got to go DIRECT. Tell her you weren't about to let this ride you are on together pass you by without at least meeting her. Get her number and tell her what time you'll call her.
A situation such as this is to be treated much like when you encounter a woman walking in the opposite direction on a city street.
5) There's A TON Of People Around
This is a particularly deceptive situation, isn't it?
Frankly, I think most of us are WAY, WAY too self-conscious when it comes to meeting women when a lot of other people are around.
We tend to automatically assume that everyone else is going to key in on the situation and any communication you have with the woman is likely to make a scene.
Well, let me introduce you to a slice of reality. Most people around you aren't going to give a rat's hind parts what's going on.
Seriously.
First of all, they've got to be within earshot enough to hear.
Then, they've got to have the presence of mind that you're creating a "movie moment" with a cutie.
THEN...they STILL have to CARE, which like I said is unlikely.
Most of the time, any woman out there will be proud to have the story to tell her girlfriends about how a man like you "picked her out of a crowd" and chose to meet her, without any regard for who was watching.
Play it cool, make normal conversation and I all but promise y ou that few, if any, people will even notice.
And what if they do?
What if some blue-haired grandma gives you a wink and a "thumbs up". Smile back and proceed. If anything, the woman you've just met will be even more intrigued by the way you handle yourself with "compassionate confidence".
Ha. You didn't know I was such a crazy mofo, did you?
Actually this sort of thing can be flat-out FUN to challenge yourself with.
Heck, I'm married and sometimes I even strike up conversations with people in challenging situations like these just to remind myself of how AMAZINGLY POSSIBLE it really is.
Let me tell you, most of the time I let the guys who claim to be "pickup artists" do all the heavy lifting when it comes to this topic.
After all, there are TONS of guys talking about that stuff.
Meanwhile, I seem to be your only friendly neighborhood dating coach talking about minor, trivial factors like QUALITY as opposed to QUANTITY.
Whatever.
But either way, lately you guys have been asking for my take on this sort of stuff. So my challenge to you is to take at least two examples out of the list I've offered above and by all means put them to the test this week.
And by the way, be sure to drop me a note and let me know how it goes. I LOVE e-mails like that. [email protected]
I'll share FIVE MORE with you tomorrow, so stay tuned. Here's a "sneak peek". They are:
6) You've Got Very Little Time To Work With
7) She's Clearly Not In A Great State Of Mind
8) She's With Friends
9) She's With Her Mom
10) She's With A Guy
Meanwhile, you've got a great chance here to put the first five to good use.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
X & Y Communications
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