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THIS IS SCARIER THAN REJECTION
A while back, there was a dramatic incident involving an American Airlines flight from Chicago to Miami.
On takeoff, the 767 experienced what in the aviation world is called an "uncontained engine failure." The engine on the starboard side blew up into a fireball. Flames and smoke spewed into the air.
Fortunately, the pilots aborted before rotation. The plane came to rest without immediate injury to anyone.
But the plane was on fire, so the crew deployed the emergency slides and evacuated everyone safely within one minute, even as smoke began to fill the cabin.
According to one passenger, "There wasn't much yelling or screaming, except passengers who shouted at others who were trying to grab their bags from the overhead bins."
Yes, you read it correctly. Apparently, multiple passengers were opening overhead bins and grabbing their carry-ons during the evacuation.
You've got to be kidding me. Why wasn't everyone on board all about getting off that thing and away from it as quickly as possible?
They were basically sitting on a 400,000 pound bomb.
Well, as weird and surreal as the whole scenario sounds, human psychology can explain everything. A similar scene unfolds virtually every time a plane in trouble eventually comes to rest in one piece.
Most people who are afraid to fly are haunted by images of mid-air collisions, wings breaking off or other mishaps that would cause the plane to fall out of the sky. It's the gruesome vision of hundreds of people plummeting to certain death in terror that people are afraid of.
If you've ever seen Fight Club, you know all too well how the mid-air emergency scene is enough to make you swear off airline travel forever.
But human nature is such that once an airplane is on the ground and comes to a halt, everyone feels as if the worst is over. Basically, to most people terra firma = safe and sound.
So in the real world, this means people routinely freak out and scream on airplanes when they experience a downdraft (aka an "air pocket"), which very rarely results in an accident.
But in a real, live emergency situation where people could really, truly explode in flames together at any second, they're casually taking an extra moment to reach for their bags.
We humans are weird creatures, aren't we?
So what does this have to do with getting better with women?
Well, I don't think "approach anxiety" is much different than fear of flying.
Nearly every guy I talk to is mostly afraid of the functional equivalent of "falling out of the sky." A big, dramatic, scary, humiliating rejection. Or worse, offending a woman so much that security gets called.
Yet, after over twenty years of coaching men, I've heard extremely few stories of women being blatantly rude, calling out hurtful limiting beliefs, or throwing drinks in anyone's faces.
The few I have heard are mostly from guys who deserved what they got.
There's something MUCH scarier at play than anything a woman can do to you in the moment when you approach her.
That's NEVER having the guts to meet women and ask them out to begin with.
Yet I've heard from thousands of men who suffer from that problem.
If you NEVER meet any women, that will invariably result in NEVER having a girlfriend, NEVER having sex, NEVER having a family, NEVER relieving personal loneliness, and eventually dying alone.
And yet, the truth is most guys don't consider the real, long-term ramifications of their own version of uncontained engine failure.
The real "smoke in the cabin" is the pattern of avoiding approach situations month after month, year after year and even decade after decade...while you keep reaching for your baggage.
Our minds tell us we have plenty of time. But I've heard from men in their 70s who let time slip away and are living with regret.
Gentlemen, the number one goal is to meet women. That has to come first before any other success can happen.
And if you're a "big four" man, women will almost universally be good to you.
I've still not experienced even one "rude rejection" or security incident in over a decade of in-field experience with guys.
If it's finally time for coaching to get this part of your life handled, contact me at [email protected].
Or, take me up on the invitation I extended over the weekend to take the Reality Check Inventory quiz, and get on my calendar to talk to me about your future with women:
Get The Girl...Live The Dream
I can and will help you get rid of what's keeping you from a healthy, happy life with a great woman.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
X & Y Communications
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