[X&Y] Reader Question: Do You Have To "Fix" Yourself Before Even Dating?

Published: Tue, 02/24/26

Updated: Tue, 02/24/26

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TOMORROW'S MASTERCLASS: WHEN THINGS GO WRONG WITH WOMEN

Masterclass For Men: When Things Go Wrong With Women

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FINALLY END THE PATTERNS THAT WRECK YOUR CHANCES

Men and women were literally born to be in partnership and get along.

All you need as proof is simple biology.

So why then can SO many things go wrong in our relationships with women?

It all starts before we've even met her and talked to her. That's hard enough to get right.

But then, we get to know her. We get into a relationship with her. We may even marry her.

And way too many times the wheels fall off somewhere along the journey.

What if you could spot those headaches before they flare up into brush fires?

I mean, is that even possible...or are we as men doomed to an endless cycle of drama and stress?

The truth is the complexities of post-modern society are mostly to blame, not you (or even her, for that matter).

Tomorrow night's Masterclass For Men gives you back your power as a man...to lead in a way that not only stops problems before they start, but also makes women LOVE how safe and secure they feel as a direct result:



Masterclass For Men: When Things Go Wrong With Women

So how can just one Masterclass make your life with women fulfilling again instead of so stressful and frustrating?

The truth is almost all of the issues men face with women fall into a finite subset of patterns.

Identify and recognize the pattern, know the cause, and affect the solution.

Just like there's a rhythm to problems that come up (you've noticed that, right?), there's an equal and counter-balancing rhythm to what restores peace and fulfilment.

Once you have that kind of power, you'll wish you'd have discovered it years ago.

It all happens in tomorrow night's Masterclass For Men. Here's the whole list of what's in store:



Masterclass For Men: When Things Go Wrong With Women

Why wait any longer to stop the endless grind of frustration over "woman problems"?

The Masterclass format allows for real-time interaction. Get your specific questions and real-world scenarios handled on the spot.

You even get a month's worth of email coaching and a 30-minute Zoom call to iron out any rough pattern you've seen happen over and over again.

The live event happens TOMORROW, Wednesday the 25th at 8p EST.

Already booked up for that time? Secure your ticket, tune-in to the replay, and you can still ask me all of your questions as they come up. That's "The Masterclass Experience":



Masterclass For Men: When Things Go Wrong With Women

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READER QUESTION: DO YOU HAVE TO "FIX" YOURSELF BEFORE EVEN DATING?

Hi Scot,

I'm real interested to hear your take on this.

I am a 50 yr. old man, who has been out of the dating scene for a while. I am ready to get back in, but I have been suffering from some thyroid issues that make me extremely tired at times.

I have always been a robust guy, been active and athletic. I am otherwise in great shape for my age.

What I am concerned about is I want a woman who is active, but until I get my health challenge handled, I probably wont be able to keep up with that kind of woman.

Should I wait until my health turns around before dating so that I can deserve what I want? Or should I go ahead and date now and mention my situation only to women who I date more than a couple of times?

This is a bummer because there are times when even a low-key date like dinner and walking around a mall can wear me out.

All the best,
Milo (Glendale, California)

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Hello Milo, and thanks for writing.

I hear stories similar to yours often. What you're struggling with is common to almost everyone, at least generally speaking.

It's human nature for us to "wait out" our excuses until they're all perfectly handled before dating again.

Well, that's the last thing you really want to do.

There will ALWAYS be some limiting belief. As soon as one is conquered, another one is likely to sprout up in its place.

But the more subtle reason is sometimes what we think are major issues really aren't so much to women.

I clearly remember telling myself shortly after my divorce that I needed to cut 30 pounds before I could expect to date. It took a few months to do that, and true to my "limiting belief" I didn't date during that time.

Women indeed enjoyed my company when I did start dating, so I initially felt pretty good about having waited.

But the crazy thing is that I ended up gaining the weight back (no thanks to focusing on my social life at the expense of eating right and working out, which is another newsletter altogether)...and I didn't see any less interest from women.

If anything they were MORE interested, probably because of what I had learned in the interim about how to understand what they're really looking for in a man and how to create attraction.

I also remember thinking that no woman would EVER want to go out with me once she found out I had a "crazy ex-wife". But lo and behold, that never fazed any of the women I met in the least.

In fact, imagine the connection Emily and I enjoyed when we realized that our respective exes were actually on the same medication. Go figure.

So yes...get back out there and meet some women. The last thing any woman expects you to be is "Mr. Perfect". Guys who come off like that give women the creeps anyway.

Exactly when you choose to tell them about your situation is dependent upon each individual scenario, I'd say. But I would agree with your suggestion that it's not first-date conversation.

Nothing medical is.


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