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IN THIS EDITION: Making a woman feel safe and comfortable in your presence is one of the "big four" ways to make a high quality woman adore you...and for good reason. Here are five practical steps to making it a reality.
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5 WAYS TO MAKE HER FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH YOU
While it's true that you can attract a woman with confident masculinity, she may still refuse to actually go out with you unless you can combine that attraction with comfort in your presence.
That's one of the "big four"...making her feel secure and comfortable around you.
So you've got to create that feeling in her. Without it, you'll find yourself beating your head against the wall wondering why apparently willing women keep flaking out on you when the time comes to hang out with them.
For many of us however, figuring out exactly HOW to make a woman feel secure in our presence isn't so easy to do in the real world.
After all, we as guys don't generally fear for our physical safety when we're with a woman. As such, creating a "safe zone" for her to feel attracted to us in isn't necessarily something we can relate to directly.
And that's understandable.
But no worries, my good man. Here are five simple concepts you can commit to memory that are all but sure to help you get everything right the next time you're with a woman:
1) Give Her Physical Space
This one seems obvious, but it remains amazing to me how many guys want to crowd a woman's 18" of "personal space" sooner than later, and especially how many guys want to "escalate kino" early and often.
When you get right down to it, the desire to maintain some distance between yourself and someone you barely know isn't exactly gender specific.
Remember that women are HUMAN just like you.
If she's attracted to you, great. Make her feel SAFE with you also and it'll be HER idea to get close to you before you know it (perhaps literally).
That's a guarantee...unless you're dealing with a truly desperate woman who has little if any self-respect...or dignity. And what do you want with her, anyway?
Get greedy here and you'll blow it. And that's also a guarantee.
2) Keep It Real...And Even Keel
Check it out. I made a rhyme.
Great. That makes it easier for you to remember, which you should.
While I understand that "just be yourself" is crappy dating advice, what I'm getting at here is that you DO NOT want to come off like some syrupy sweet "sales guy" with a hidden agenda.
You don't want to "soften your demeanor" in an attempt not to "offend" or "bother" her with your masculine presence. She's actually attracted to men, so you have nothing to worry about there.
"Neutering" yourself isn't going to work. Heck, it isn't even NATURAL.
Moreover, freeing yourself up from expectations to "mirror her" and/or attain "performance perfection" is also a great idea...likely to cause you to calm down and be more comfortable in HER presence also.
Hey, women follow your lead, so choose wisely where you lead.
While you're at it, keep an "even keel" by not making any sudden grandiose gestures, changing the tone or volume of your voice abruptly, and/or letting your mood swing rapidly from one place to another.
Nothing will make a woman scramble for the door faster than that sort of thing.
3) Don't Be Her "Yes Man"
Whatever you do, don't agree with all of her preposterous notions--no matter what--simply because you want her "approval".
If she talks about how much she loves disco and strawberry daiquiris, you DO NOT have to have that in common with her.
In fact, saying you like that stuff also is more likely to backfire than to help you create attraction.
Go ahead and tell her you prefer Guinness and AC/DC.
Stay true to your personality and to your opinions and speak your mind--all in a civilized manner, of course.
She'll know exactly where she stands with you and that you are unafraid to be truthful, and she'll adore that feeling.
4) Practice Reasonable Chivalry
Chivalry is NOT dead. And it's NOT "kissing up" either.
You open her car door and walk on the outside of the curb not because she's inherently a weakling or because you're waiting on her hand and foot, but because you care enough to visibly demonstrate that you have her best interests at heart and that you know how to be a protector if need be.
That's all good all the time. Never scoff at the opportunity to be chivalrous.
Let it happen naturally, without fanfare OR complaint.
5) Trust Her First...In A Tangible Way
This one is golden, so listen up.
What is the ultimate representation of safety and security in someone else's presence?
That's TRUST, of course.
Knowing women follow your lead, your best chance at creating an outstanding first impression as a man who knows how to make a woman feel safe and secure is to TRUST HER FIRST.
Now, this doesn't mean you need to lend her your car and/or let her pack your parachute the next time you go skydiving.
All it takes is a very simple gesture that gets the message across.
For example, try this. When you're sitting across the table at a coffee shop together, leave your wallet on the table as you excuse yourself to the restroom. Ask her if she'll watch it for you while you're gone.
Mission accomplished.
I realize it's immensely helpful to have objective ideas and examples to back what can seem like nebulous concepts at times.
I "trust" that from now on you'll feel all the more empowered to help women feel safe and secure in your presence.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
X & Y Communications
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