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IN THIS EDITION: You've met a woman, but she isn't exactly following your vision of how things should be progressing with her. Does that mean it's going badly? Should you panic?
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FLIRTING: THE #1 FRUSTRATION FOR MANY MEN
Too many guys believe that flirting invariably involves taking action you're sure to get in trouble for.
But that's based more on fearmongering than real-world truth.
As it turns out, women understand flirting WAY differently than men do.
When you understand it the way they do--and act on it--you have an advantage most men can't touch.
Flirting the RIGHT way makes life more fun. And, yes...there's a Masterclass for that:
Hypnotic Flirting That Drives Women Wild
It's such a massive issue for most men that it was the first Masterclass For Men I ever did. And now, as you know, this one (and the others) are all $37 with immediate access:
Talk To Women Like A Man
There's another one called How Women Think that takes that advantage to another whole level:
How Women Think (w/ Emily McKay)
That's the Masterclass Emily joined me for, so you don't have to take my word for it. She spilled all the secrets.
Remember, the entire catalog is now online here.
And now, here's a newsletter that gets to the heart of both understanding women and, yes...flirting.
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DO WOMEN REALLY WANT TO BE "FRIENDS FIRST"?
(READER QUESTION)
Hi Scot,
I've read some of the advice tips on the site about the importance of being independent and inspiring women to feel comfortable in the presence of confident guys. Here's a situation I'd like to tell you about: there is a woman who I met recently.
We talked for a few minutes and exchanged email addresses with each other. It was all casual and I didn't even suggest that I'm interested in her romantically. I'd like to get to know her, start on a friendship level and see what can happen.
So I emailed her the following day and told her that if she'd like to meet me sometime for friendly conversation I usually spend a couple of hours during the afternoon at a certain social club.
She emailed me back a few HOURS later and said that she'd like to meet me because it turns out that she goes to that same place everyday, too (although we had never seen each other there before).
She asked me what she should do. Then she asked me for my phone number.
So what I'm wondering is: is this lady asking for my phone number because she wants to know if I have a phone? She already knows I have email because we exchanged addresses after that first time we met only a day earlier.
What do you think could be a reason why she's asking me for my phone number?
I'm wanting to start off as a friend to this woman and see what happens.
Thanks,
Joseph (Parts Unknown)
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Hey, Joseph. Thanks for writing.
Honestly, I could send this email to any of millions of men everywhere who would love to have a "problem" like yours.
99% of these men would automatically understand her response to you as a clear sign of interest. And they'd be correct.
The natural progression from exchanging email addresses is to take things to the telephone. From there, the two of you meet in person.
This particular woman's interest level in you is high enough that she is sending you blatant hints of her desire to see you again.
Only a crowbar upside one's head might be more obvious.
Note I said "might".
So let's first go over what you did that was great:
1) First of all, you nutted up and asked for her contact info. You're ahead of most men there already. Great job.
2) Second, you e-mailed a woman you sensed has interest in you the following day. I believe artificial waiting periods represent the kind of game playing people detest.
3) Third, you called her to action. (i.e. meeting you at the social club)
Here's where you'll do better in the future:
1) You'll understand that email --> phone --> live meeting is the natural progression. You skipped a step and she's bringing you back around, understandably.
2) You'll realize that any positive response from a woman is just that...it's good. She is asking for your phone number because she wants to move things forward, and...
3) ...you'll figure out that women LOVE LOVE LOVE men who lead. She is asking you "what she should do" because she wants YOU to be the man here and make a suggestion. This is a "Chick Whispering" basic.
Women want you to wear the pants, and will hint at what they want YOU to ask them rather than asking first.
See how that works? And don't you just LOVE LOVE LOVE women who look at you adoringly when you are their Superhero who knows how to be a LEADER? Of course you do.
That all brings me to the final, and perhaps most overarching thought. You talk about "friends first". You do realize that this is almost always a myth unless you are clearly in the driver's seat of leadership, right?
By this I mean that women typically find it very, very hard to move a man from "just friends" to "lover".
Either you are causing her erotic synapses to fire up like high-octane race fuel from the beginning or you are doomed to being a tea party guest.
And hey, Earl Grey might have a "nice" aroma but there's just something about the scent of 2-stroke race gas fumes that satisfies.
I hope you haven't been brainwashed by the same cult that had me duped back in the day.
You know the one. They preach that "all male behavior is bad behavior" and that "showing romantic interest in a woman is offensive to them".
Unless you really do remain unconvinced that you are ready to blow up the chemistry lab with this chick, you need to get in front of her and FLIRT, my man!
She'll LOVE LOVE LOVE you for it.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
X & Y Communications
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