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IN THIS EDITION: Should you really have to DO anything in order to make attraction happen? Can't you just BE attractive?
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HOW DO YOU CREATE ATTRACTION?
Hey Scot,
Often, I hear people talking on and on about "creating" attraction as if it is something that can be synthesized in a laboratory and that isn't naturally there when interacting with women.
But then I often hear you talk about being masculine, representing what women want, and letting the sexual polarity that results take care of attraction.
So I want to know, once and for all, in your opinion, can somebody actually "create" attraction?
I mean, why can't I just BE attractive instead of having to feel like I have to check off a list of things to do in order to "create" attraction with the women I talk to?
Thank you,
Donnie (Richmond, VA)
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Hello Donnie, and thanks for writing. You've asked an excellent question.
Ultimately there is a measure of semantics involved when speaking of "creating" attraction as opposed to say, "inspiring" it or even just "representing" it by way of natural masculinity.
That's the first thing to bear in mind.
But no kidding, in a very real way since "be" is itself a verb, the action of "creating" attraction really is caused by your BEING attractive.
There's not necessarily that checklist of hoops you have to jump through, you simply HAVE (another verb) the ability to make attraction happen.
In other words, HAVING that aura--or BEING a masculine man--is the extent of the "work" involved in CREATING attraction.
The beauty of it all is that once you've built the habits associated with being a "big four" man (confidence, masculinity as women define it, the ability to make a woman feel safe and comfortable in your presence, character) then you'll never again have to even think about memorizing some script or a series of actions.
This really is true, even though it seems a bit counter-intuitive to our male minds. We instinctively feel like we've got to "perform" in some way.
Remember...attraction works a bit differently in women.
Whereas we may become instantaneously turned on by a woman's mere appearance, women usually need to become a bit more familiar with your whole package before they really warm up to you sexually.
For them, it's not so much a binary on/off switch that's either there or isn't from the very start.
Simply stated, the more you interact with them, exhibiting "big four" traits, the hotter they get.
In essence, attraction is created BY your overall inherent attractiveness.
So yes, it is definitely more about WHO you are than what you DO, when you get right down to it.
But that said, the caveat is that your actions--even if they're spontaneous rather than rehearsed--have to be attractive, in accordance with your persona as a high quality man.
That part isn't really so gender-specific, is it? The more femininity a visually attractive woman exudes as you get to know her, the hotter she gets also, right?
But even so, it's not like she has to check objective items off a "to do list" to keep you interested, either.
When you get right down to it, Donnie, your question ultimately serves the purpose of illustrating how uncomplicated attraction should be. I sense you've already figured that out.
It really is a bummer that so many guys still think they should perform a series of "stupid human tricks" in a lame effort to impress women, when really their natural, masculine presence is all that a woman craves.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
X & Y Communications
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