[X&Y] Safety First? (Hint: Not What You Think)

Published: Thu, 07/09/15



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IN THIS EDITION:  If women love sex as much as men do, then why is
it that it seems like men are the ones who push for it early and
often in a relationship?  

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SELECT WOMEN WISELY


You know David Shade.  He's been one of the most respected (and
outrageous) sex teachers around for over 19 years.

Well, these days he has been working on something radically
different, and it's going to be of supreme interest to you.

You see, David and I made friends in large part after discovering
we had something in common:  We both had learned HARD LESSONS in
life about the importance of *choosing the right woman* to get into
a long-term relationship with.

Man, talk about something that is ALL-IMPORTANT to get right in
life.

And now, David has actually collected all of his golden knowledge
into one convenient program called Select Women Wisely:



Select Women Wisely



All I can say is that this is going to save you guys A LOT of
pain.  No doubt.

David FedExed me copy of Select Women Wisely and I have to say, it
it's right on.

And the price is VERY reasonable considering what all you get
(especially compared to what a messy divorce would cost you later).

This guy is one interesting cat with a style all his own.  And you
can rest assured he finds a way to relate finding the RIGHT WOMAN
to having a complete and fulfilling sex life, so I'd definitely
recommend taking a look:



Select Women Wisely



...even if you just get a load of the video at the top of the page.
(All I can say is AMEN, dude.)

And now, I want to share a SIGNIFICANT BREAKTHROUGH I had recently
when considering how men and women relate to each other...


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SAFETY FIRST


As you know, being able to inspire confidence in a woman is one of
the "Big Four" traits that define success with women in general.

Lately, the more that I think about it, I'm becoming more and more
convinced that the third component--making her feel safe and secure
in your presence--is the linchpin in the entire sequence...especially
when it comes to getting past the "platonic stage" of a relationship.

We all know it's "safety first" when it comes to HAVING sex.  

But it's also "safety first" when it comes to GETTING to the point
of a sexual relationship AT ALL.

Essentially, it goes like this.

I think we're well acquainted with the stereotypes regarding what
men and women usually push for when meeting MOTOS (Members Of The
Other Sex).

While men are usually viewed as wanting to get women into bed FAST,
women are seen as wanting to rope men into long-term relationships
ASAP.

But here's the thing:  Those stereotypes don't necessarily hold
true all the time, do they?

Sometimes a guy will meet a particularly amazing woman, and push
VERY HARD to make her his girlfriend...almost immediately.  I think
we can all relate to that one, at least at some level.

Moreover, we've all heard reports time and again from guys with
pretty good "game" that women are actually AS MUCH into sex IF NOT
MORE than we as guys are.  

Yet for many us as men, that statement flat-out doesn't add up.  

Some of us just haven't seen the reality of it in the REAL WORLD, so
we CAN'T relate to it.

Well, what if I told you that I believe "desire for sex" isn't
necessarily gender specific?

That's right.  BOTH men and women want sex.

And get this...BOTH men and women have to feel "safe", too.

And I firmly believe that SAFETY is essentially a "barrier" that is
necessary to clear away before a sexual relationship is possible.

So if things are so SIMILAR between men and women, how come they're
so, um...DIFFERENT so often when the rubber meets the road?

Simple.  Women are WAY, WAY more often the ones who FEAR for their
PHYSICAL safety when interacting with MOTOS.

As I've said before, the man a woman needs to feel protected from
THE MOST is the one SHE'S WITH.  

That's YOU, man.  So she's got to know first that she can TRUST you
not to harm her, and then that you've got HER best interests at
heart.

We also know that women are almost universally attracted to a man
who can lead.  

They also want a man with ambition--you know...A PLAN.  Knowing you
are that kind of a guy frees a woman up to WORRY LESS about both
the present AND the future.  

Meanwhile, what about us as guys?  

Hardwired to be driven by ambition ourselves and unencumbered by
the potential for threat to our personal security when with a
woman, physical safety is not so much of a relational issue for
us.

We just don't need it from a woman, at least in the same sense they
do.  Mostly, we provide for our OWN physical safety.

Meanwhile, if we have the audacity to want a woman to "support us",
we end up feeling like less of a man.  

Argue with me if you must, but I know exactly zero guys who gain
any sense of fulfillment from that situation.

In fact, think of it this way:  If a guy depends on a woman for ANY
SORT of physical safety and/or provision, even in the "short term"
when initially meeting her or on a date with her, how does he come
off?

You got it:  NEEDY and/or INSECURE, let alone straight-up WEAK.

And what happens when THAT'S the case?  Right again:  NO SEXUAL
RELATIONSHIP.

Is this all starting to make sense?

Well, here's the most breathtaking part of all.

Who are the women who SEEM to "break the mold" most when it comes to
being as eager for sex as early and often in a relationship as most
men?

That's right.  It's the women who are SELF-SUFFICIENT.  It's the
women who have learned to be largely dependent upon THEMSELVES for
safety and security.

Single women who are a bit older, have experienced a divorce and/or
are raising children on their own have been there, done that, and
learned to find their way in the world WITHOUT a man around.

And they're precisely the ones who are often cited as being more
likely to be sexually aggressive...and WAY sooner than other women.  
Think of the whole "MILF" and "cougar" concepts and you've got a
pair of prime examples of what I mean.

I've experienced this phenomenon myself when dating women who fit
any or all of the criteria I listed above.  

In fact, I remember observing  MORE OFTEN THAN NOT that
thirtysomething divorced mommies pretty much fit the MALE
STEREOTYPE of coming off as "sex focused".

As such, all it takes to ignite such a woman sexually is to
activate her femininity with your masculinity.  

Assuming you can get past the EASIEST part of making her feel safe--
that is, that you're not likely to be an axe murderer or otherwise
harm her in any way physically--IT'S ON.

Confidence and masculinity (aka the first two components of the
"Big Four") are mostly all it takes when dealing with a woman who
can "fend for herself" in the world.

But just don't be CAUGHT DEAD depending on her for security.  She
won't be in the mood to "carry you" in that way.  

In fact, such will undermine your masculinity, of course, meaning
(ironically enough) you'll be disqualified in her mind as anything
more than "just a friend".    

And here's a hint:  If you HAVE been out with thirtysomething
single moms and found them to be sexually reserved and tentative,
then it's time to look in the mirror.  You MAY be "failing to
deploy" more than you've ever thought.

Do you still need more proof that what I'm talking about, as
amazing as it sounds, may actually be rooted in some semblance of
reality?

Consider ye olde reliable Maslow's hierarchy of human needs.  What
resides directly above "safety needs" on the pyramid?  

Yep...sexuality.   Clear the "safety hurdle", and it's ALL ABOUT
GETTING SEXUAL NEEDS MET from there.

But NOW I'm going to drop a bomb on you.  Check it out.

Considering that it's the women who need LESS in the way of
physical security from a man who are often so sexually forward,
how much of an effect could you have on women who aren't so
self-sufficient in that regard were you to be a true source of
security for them?

After all, they're not used to creating it for themselves, so
their sexual response to your gift to them might be all the more
POWERFUL.

Give some careful thought to that, because that covers a MASSIVE
percentage of the overall female population--and therefore a
MASSIVE percentage of your total potential dating pool.

This is for real, gentlemen.  It's 100% imperative that a woman
feels safe and secure with you--one way or the other.

And as a man it's equally necessary to be self-dependent for one's
OWN safety and security.

But you've always known both of those things...as least in principle.

Now you're armed with the frame of reference as to WHY it's all
the case, and how it all fits together.


Be Good,

Scot McKay
 
 
 

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