[X&Y] The "Desperate Test"
Published: Mon, 07/27/15
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IN THIS EDITION: Is there really a yardstick you can use to
quickly and effectively measure how desperate you are? Read andfind out...
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THE "DESPERATE TEST"
A while back I had the pleasure of hanging out with some of my good
friends and making several new ones at what's called a "mastermind"
meeting.
Basically, it's a get-together for those of us who are in the
dating/relationship advice business.
For better or worse, this particular meeting took place in Vega$,
which naturally involved flying on Southwest Airlines to get there
since I live in San Antonio.
I'm not the biggest fan of flying SWA. The airline itself is fine,
it's just that they have "first come, first served" seating and I
have a weird penchant for being the last guy to get on the plane.
This most recent flight was no exception. And it was a full flight.
As it turns out the very last open seat was a middle one, of course,
next to a rather attractive young blondie. (I know....what are the
chances, right?)
I sat down and opened my Kindle, minding my own business. But the
one drawback to those things compared to paperbacks is that you
have to turn them off from when the plane leaves the gate until when
you reach 10K feet.
Sure enough, having tucked the Kindle in the seat back pocket
in front of me, Blondie shifts her hips a bit in her seat and starts
making conversation.
I don't remember what she said to get my attention, but it was
innocuous enough.
Being a social person, I was happy to talk to her. She wasn't
exactly my type and I'm happily married, of course, but there was
no denying that most guys would find her attractive. She had very
pretty green eyes and perfect teeth.
Within seconds we were talking about Las Vegas.
And within minutes she had brought up the pros and cons of "drunk
sex", whether or not her natural boobies were better than fake ones
and...wait for it...how much of a jerk her boyfriend is.
As much as some of you guys out there might not want to believe
this, I solemnly promise that I did nothing in particular to
influence what was being talked about, beyond being the "big four"
guy I've worked to become over the course of time.
Also, importantly, whatever she brought up didn't unsettle me. I
simply conversed with her matter-of-factly.
Far too many guys greatly underestimate the power of remaining
unfazed when a woman brings up sex, let alone when she talks to
them at all.
Meanwhile, the guy sitting on the other side of me on the aisle was
clearly getting more and more worked up. It was obvious that he
had overheard everything.
As such, when Blondie finally reached for her purse and announced
that she wanted get a rum and coke, the guy out of nowhere blurted
out, "No...I got it!" and hit the call button.
You've got to be kidding me. In my mind I rolled my eyes This guy
wasn't even in the conversation, and yet he was pulling the "Mr.
Nice Guy" routine.
Sure enough, he bought her the drink. She smiled and said, "thank
you" to him.
Then she continued to talk to me. The conversation turned to world
travel, which is typically one of my favorite topics.
However, the next thing I knew Blondie was giving me the details of
an emergency root canal she got in Spain. Then it was on to chatting
about terminal cancer.
Suddenly I realized that the flight couldn't be over soon enough.
I did what I could do to make the pain stop in as diplomatic a way
as possible.
"You know, I have to say...I admire your courage in talking to a
total stranger about root canals and cancer on a scheduled flight.
Most people probably wouldn't do that, know what I mean?"
Let's just say that she didn't get the hint. Instead she ordered a
few more drinks and was starting to get drunk and disorderly.
Somehow I felt for her "jerk" of a boyfriend and what he was up
against.
Mercifully, the plane landed at McCarran. I made it a point to get
on the phone and stay on it as we deplaned.
We all herded our way to the luggage claim area, and as I grabbed
my bag I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the guy who had
sat next to me on the plane was now attempting to chat Blondie up.
It clearly wasn't going well, as she stared out into space blankly
even as he tried to keep her attention.
Right now there are two different types of guys reading this
newsletter.
The first is going, "What? Are you kidding me? How could you
possibly have wanted that flight to be over if you were sitting
next to a hot blonde girl? Of course that other guy was talking to
her at the baggage claim because YOU didn't!"
The second is going, "No kidding, dude. Sitting next to her must
have been about as exciting as watching paint dry."
Which guy are you?
Answer carefully because that's the "Desperation Test" I alluded to
in the subject line.
Like it or not, guys with options can readily excuse themselves
from even the hottest, sexiest women when they're not exactly
finding them to be all that interesting otherwise. That's because
there will soon be others who will prove to be a better choice.
Meanwhile, guys with fewer options pretty much feel as if they've
hit the jackpot ANY time a reasonably pretty girl talks to them--and
all the more if she brings up sex.
I ask you again. Which guy are you?
The irony of the whole thing is that the more you believe you have
options, the more options you actually tend to have.
Meanwhile, the more desperate you are, the more women tend to sense
that and say, "thanks...but no thanks."
Can you believe that your mindset matters THAT much? And more
importantly, can you believe that you have TOTAL control over that
mindset?
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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