[X&Y] She Shut Me Down...And I Deserved It (But My Loss Is Your Gain)
Published: Sun, 09/13/15
WHAT'S INSIDE: You might think a woman is "out of your league"...but
have you ever stopped to consider what league she's even playing in?
=====
I'M GETTING TOO MANY E-MAILS FROM GUYS WHO'VE BEEN BURNED
Have you ever asked a woman out, ended up in a relationship with her...and
THEN found that she's not sexually adventurous at all.
Maybe it turns out that most of what you'd like to do is "gross" to her.
Or worse...she's not even interested in sex AT ALL.
Meanwhile, you've got to endure all the evidence around you that other
guys are enjoying the company of the HOTTEST sex princesses
imaginable.
How is it that they're burning up their bedrooms while you're just, well...
getting burned?
The truth is you can tell who the most sexual women are LONG before
you even talk to them...let alone get into a relationship with them.
It's all covered in detail in Behind Closed Doors:
Get Behind Closed Doors For 50% Off
But what happens when you've found a woman who rocks your world?
Will you rock hers?
Behind Closed Doors gives you everything you need to make your sex
life the cataclysmic earth-shaking experience it was meant to be:
Get Behind Closed Doors For 50% Off
Use the coupon code "bcd50" between now and Tuesday night to get
a full 50% off.
Behind Closed Doors is the most complete guide to a great sex life
you'll find anywhere. It doesn't matter what your relationship status is,
by the way.
=====
SHE SHUT ME DOWN…AND I DESERVED IT (BUT MY LOSS IS YOUR GAIN)
At one time in the distant past I was dating a certain Italian girl who I really liked. She was full of joy, lots of fun, had one of those cute Melanie Griffith-like voices that I tend to like.
Best of all, she was so sexy that it was downright distracting.
But we weren’t exclusive. In fact, she probably was my third or fourth favorite of the five or six women I was seeing at the time.
So one night she was at my house, when suddenly the phone rang. It was a particularly late hour and I didn’t recognize the number. Against my better judgment, curiosity won out and I answered the thing.
“She’s there, isn’t she?”, barked the firm but slightly nervous voice on the other end.
I asked who it was, and he gave me his first name. After he repeated his initial question, I instinctively told him I had no idea what he was talking about.
Soon it was very clear to me that this guy was also seeing the same girl, only in his case he had fallen for her pretty hard.
Since he had stronger feelings than I for a woman who was currently spending time with me rather than him, I had the upper hand in the conversation. I’m somewhat ashamed to admit I might have leveraged that a bit.
Finally, the guy hung up the phone with a flurry of expletives…chagrined.
Right then, our common friend emerged from the other room. “Who was THAT?”, she whispered.
“Oh, it was a friend of yours.” I then said his name, slowly with a smile.
“OMG…what did he want? What did you tell him? How did he even get your number?”
My first thought was to wonder aloud how the hell this guy even knew who I was. But I let that slide.
Instead, I answered her questions forthright. She was relieved to hear that I hadn’t divulged her whereabouts.
After all, in my mind the last thing I needed was that cranky old dude rolling up on me, especially at that hour.
Notice I said, “cranky old dude”. One of the more curious nuggets of information that the dude had disclosed during his weird, drawn-out “discussion” with me was that he was 57.
I was 38 at the time.
Italian girl was only 27.
It was then that I made a stupid, rookie mistake that I would NEVER make at this stage in my life. I teased her relentlessly for going out with such an “old, washed-up” guy like him.
Rest assured, nowadays I shout from the mountain tops how no man should ever let limiting beliefs stop him from getting the women he wants.
And yes, ten years into my career as a dating coach I routinely help guys get women thirty years their junior. It’s pretty common, actually, once a man has the mindset to match his goals.
Yet at that point in history, there I was…fabricating limiting beliefs on behalf of people I had no business psychoanalyzing.
Then came the moment that will be the major takeaway for you from this newsletter.
Right there, before my very eyes, my female friend became indignant. She proceeded to DEFEND the other guy. She made it very clear that “age was just a number” to her and that there was nothing wrong her dating him.
That’s right. The same woman who SO many guys even in their mid thirties would look at and think “I have NO chance” was destroying a limiting belief.
It wasn’t HER limiting belief.
It wasn’t the OTHER guy’s limiting belief.
It was MY limiting belief.
Maybe it was also a limiting belief held by countless older guys out there who had shied away from asking her out.
Their loss, obviously.
What if this wasn’t an isolated, freakish incident? What if for every one of your limiting beliefs there are women out there willing to shut down anyone who would attempt to validate it?
Even hot, sexy and fun women like the one I just told you about are far more attracted to a wider variety of guys than you might think.
The truth is that your resilience againstperceived disadvantages and your willingness to do the best with what you’ve got is usually FAR more attractive to high quality women than being “Mr. Perfect”.
This phenomenon isn’t gender specific, either.
One time I was dating a very pretty Latina with long, silky black hair like you’d see in a shampoo commercial.
On the second date she told me there was something I should know that would probably turn me off from seeing her again.
Nervously, she described what it was. Honestly, it was no big deal whatsoever. I remember thinking in my mind that no guy in his right mind would have ever considered what she told me a “dealbreaker”.
The bottom line is that we tend to see our imperfections or self-perceived disadvantages as the One Big Thing that keeps virtually all women from ever wanting guys like us.
Yet, our thought process is not necessarily in line with what women are thinking.
Sometimes the women who we dismiss as “out of our league” would turn out to be the very same ones who’d ADORE us enough to shut down anyone who seeks to hate on us.
Do you have the confidence and sheer guts to believe that’s the case?
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2015. All Rights Reserved.
If you find this newsletter as powerful and life-changing as over
54,000 other people do, why not forward it to a friend who could
benefit from it as well?
Get Scot's Powerful New Program Behind Closed Doors
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please use the
link below to remove yourself from our mailing list.
Remember, if you've found the woman of your dreams, you can get
only the relationship-focused newsletters by sending a blank
e-mail to scotandemily@aweber.com.