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IN THIS EDITION:  Is the woman you've been talking to not exactly
prioritizing you the way she should?

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5 SIGNS THAT YOU'RE HER SECOND CHOICE


Whether we like it or not, women tend to be serial daters.  That is
to say, they generally tend to date one guy at a time, seeing where
it leads before getting involved with anyone else.

You and I both know that life is too short to find a great
long-term partner that way, but the vast majority of women haven't
figured that out.  It's just how they're wired.

Going along with that, as a number of evolutionary psychologist
types have noted, women tend to gravitate toward the guy who they
see as their BEST available option at the time, no matter what.

This often means that some other dude (or several) whom she'd been
talking to or hanging out with gets relegated to "also ran" status.

The weird part about all of this is that even though women can't
usually seem to wrap their head around dating multiple guys, that
doesn't mean that they don't know how to keep their "options open".

As such, the more popular ones sometimes become highly skilled at
keeping several potential suitors in a sort of "holding pattern"
while they sort out which they like best, starting with the one
she's most intrigued by.

Clearly, this is rather frustrating to any man who's not pegging
her "attention meter" as high as some other guy is at the
time...especially if he's chasing the woman because he has few, if
any, other options.

I'm sure even some of you who are reading this are already becoming
indignant, thinking "it's not fair" and that women who engage in
the practice I'm describing must have something wrong with them.

Not really.  It's simply their way of doing due diligence to the
evaluation process...if most definitely the LONG way, for sure.

So no, women aren't necessarily committing a foul by putting who
I'll call "lower priority" guys at bay.  Those dudes can either
wait around in case she eventually decides her number one option is
actually second-rate, or they can go elsewhere.

If you've ever marveled at how attractive women can be so cavalier
about guys who cut them off when they sense she's not particularly
interested in them, I've just revealed why.

Unlike guys, they don't really think a lot about "collecting" MOTOS
(members of the other sex) into some sort of ego-boosting harem.
Whoever has their attention seems sufficient enough for them in the
moment.

Interestingly, guys who are choosers aren't necessarily the first
to jump ship in situations where they find themselves in second or
third place. 

After all, since they typically have options themselves they're
happy to explore other, perhaps higher priority women all the
while as well.

Basically, if he and the woman who's busy exploring another option
in the moment ever get around to hitting it off, fine.  If not, no
big deal.

But other guys might be serial daters in their own right, and not
exactly be up for being relegated to "second choice".  As you might
imagine, the dynamics involved become especially politically loaded
if and when the guy actually sees the woman as HIS top choice.

No matter what, it all comes down to this.  It's a GREAT idea to
know exactly where you stand with any woman relative to her
priorities, regardless of your outlook on things.

All's fair in love in war, I assume.  After all, it's not like
she's going to show you her dating cards any more than you're going
to itemize for her where each woman you're seeing is on your own
totem pole of personal preference.

So with that said, here's your "cheat sheet" for finding out what
you need to know:



1)  Infrequent Contact


When a woman REALLY likes you she's communicating with you
frequently.  She's sending you cute, flirty texts and is willing to
spend a good portion of her free time with you, either on the phone
or in person.

As I've duly noted before in my writings, it's curious how even the
two busiest people on Earth somehow have massive blocks of time
open up in their schedule once they've truly fallen head over heels
for each other.

Not so much if you're in second place.  In fact, the less she's in
contact with you, despite your dozens of texts and voicemails, the
further you are down her list of priorities.  You can bank on that.

Needless to say (I trust), if she's not returning your messages AT
ALL, then you've been officially DE-prioritized.  It's really time
to move on at that point.



2)  Lots Of Excuses


It's not that she didn't WANT to return your call last night like
she said she would, it's just that something weird came up.

Unfortunately, something weird comes up A LOT.  She must lead the
weirdest life of anyone you know, or at the very least the most
disjointed and randomly interrupted one.

Whatever.  The more excuses she makes, the lower a priority you are.

Importantly, in the eyes of many women this is one of the most
uncomfortable aspects of evaluating different men that they're ever
faced with. 

As such, look for clear signs that they're uneasy about what they're
telling you, or even downright expectant of your unfavorable reaction.

For example, younger women in particular might send you a text with
a long "Ummm..." in it, followed by the bad news.  If you're
laughing, you know from personal experience it's because I'm
speaking the truth.



3)  Inability To Make Firm Plans


Know this, what's generally known as "flakiness" is most commonly
associated with lukewarm romance.  Never forget that.

Yes, sometimes women play games with guys they truly like because
they want to seem "hard to get", or whatever.  But...even those women
finally show up for real and eventually demonstrate that they're
attracted in some way.  Fair enough.

But when a woman keeps putting you off again and again, then YOU my
friend are most definitely on the "back burner".

Pay careful attention to women who won't commit to "prime time"
meetings (like on Friday or Saturday night) or women who insist
that you call them the same day you've made plans with them to
either "remind them" or "confirm she's free". 

Those are both tell-tale signs that some other guy has her full
attention instead of you.



4)  Cavernous Disappearances


Sometimes you'll be communicating with a woman and perhaps even
going out on dates with her, and everything seems like it's going
great.  She's enjoying herself, flirting with you, maybe even
getting frisky with you.

And then, as one guy who wrote me put it, "radio silence".

I mean, what's up with that?  Did she get hit by a bus?  Is she
trapped under something extremely heavy?   Is she in a coma?

As it turns out, her cheerful call two weeks later asking if you're
still up for that night out dancing you promised her proves she's
still alive...and well.

Yeah, well...when a woman falls off the map so suddenly and
completely that it would make even Don Draper jealous, you can bet
the farm on this:  She was messing with another guy who she liked
better in the interim.

But hey, since that didn't end up working out, you're next in
line...for now.



5)  General Disrespect


Sometimes you've just got to invoke the old reliable "Golden Rule
In Reverse", or "TGR-R".  If she's "doing something unto you" that
you'd never, ever in a million years even think about doing unto
someone else, then DON'T you dare tolerate it.

For example, if a woman is running some combination of ignoring
you, putting you off, flaking on you and/or not showing a whole lot
of interest in any other way you can think of--including in what you
say or do--it's time to say "next".

If you straight-up feel disrespected by her, then chances are she
DOESN'T respect you.  If she doesn't respect you, then you can bet
you're not very high on her list of priorities.

She may badmouth you behind your back, roll her eyes when you tell
jokes, bring her nephews along on dates unexpectedly or even
brazenly ask you for money.

In fact, as painful as it may be to hear, the ONLY reason she may
still be in communication with you at all is because you're either
giving her stuff or doing favors for her that she perceives as
having some value to her quality of life.

But YOU aren't exactly an integral part of that value.  That's why
I wholeheartedly endorse performing ye olde "preemptive strike"
when hanging out with a woman like this.  You've got to move on.



If you can relate to any of the five examples I gave, remember I'm
just the messenger.  I'm here to help you succeed with women rather
than merely co-existing with them.

As such, rest assured that in the near future we'll be covering
ways to create attraction rather than simply dealing with women who
aren't so interested.  In the meantime, this is a valuable lesson.
There's no doubt about it.

Here's one final note to bear in mind.  You may have noticed how
some of the examples above implied that a woman may actually go
ahead and date several guys at once.  Don't read that as a
contradiction to what I shared back at the beginning of this
conversation.

While MOST women are indeed serial daters, there are SOME who run
their dating lives like men with options tend to.  In fact, there
are even female "players" out there for sure.


Be Good,

Scot McKay




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