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TODAY IS THE 10TH ANNIVERSARY OF  X & Y COMMUNICATIONS


Today marks exactly a decade since I wrote the first X & Y Communications
newsletter...to 14 people.  It was sort of on a whim, just because some of my
friends (and women I'd dated) practically dared me to.

I can't believe that was December 5th, 2005, just two months and six days
before I'd meet the love of my life.

And since then Emily and I have had the ride of our life.  When I posted on
Facebook about this earlier this morning, I said I was thankful for the
"hundreds of thousands" who've read, watched and/or listened.

After a little thought and a bit of research, I now realize it has actually
been millions.

Granted, ten years is a long time, but that's still such an inspiration to
keep on doing what we've been doing.  To this day one of my favorite
things is to receive success stories from guys just like you.

But in the NEXT decade we're committed to doing MORE than ever
for you.

As you already know, there will be more major announcements coming
soon, including new big-name experts joining the team and even a whole
new direction that will be incredibly fun (and I trust valuable) for everyone.

This morning I told you about the YouTube "renovation".  Tomorrow I'll have
yet another new benefit for you...stay tuned.

But for now, my best Happy Birthday wishes!  Yes, you're the reason why
we do what we do.

And go figure...this is the longest time I've ever held a job!  That's saying
something, right there.

Just for old times' sake, here is that actual first newsletter from ten years
ago today.  Back then I wrote for both men AND women.  Can you tell?



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THE LANGUAGE OF PET NAMES
 

It's a definite turning point, isn't it? She blurts it out innocently enough,
but there it is -- it's out there, "Honey" (or, if the Angels Of Affectionate
Blessing are working extra hard, "Sugar Smacks" ... or "Beanly" ... or
"Goodness").

The proverbial cat is out of its bag. Just don't call me that in front of my
friends, okay, "Sweet Thing"?

Pet names. What a concept. A topic I genuinely like, and have thought
about in detail. I believe it's all about adding a new level of identity to a
certain person so as to set apart the relationship between parties as sacred
(or something like that).

Pet names are a lot like nicknames in this respect, demonstrating that
someone "cares" enough to call you in a way more private or familial than
your given name. But see, just about anyone you know can "care" enough
to tag you with a mere nickname, and the end result can be questionable,
right "Pigeon Lips"?

Oh yeah. Make no mistake, pet names are nicknames made perfect. This is
all part of that elusive "language of love" made famous by Pepe LePew,
et al.

Women, I'm guessing, typically get the ball rolling, and may wonder where
the reciprocation is. Well, there's good cause for concern. A man might very
well feel that "pet names" are a feminine thing, so during the normal course
of life he may carefully guard his "macho" exterior and act embarrassed by
them and/or refrain from using them--especially in public I'd think.

During the passion of sex, however, he may feel more uninhibited or quite
frankly may not be able to help himself from coming out with the little
names he already has in mind for her.

Did you know that it's very common for women to "age regress" when they
are both attracted to and comfortable with a man? It's a very clear sign.

"Baby talk" and pet-names are by products of this, and yes...it's a feminine
trait. You know what I mean: all those little "cute-isms" used around the
house that all healthy couples seem to have, but which the man would
NEVER acknowledge outside of the safe confines of the house or the car.

A while back Match.com used to have "baby talk" on its list of "turn on
turnoffs" for members to select from when creating profiles. Women almost
always checked it as a "turnoff" (e.g. if coming from a guy).

My educated guess, however, is that a man really likes when women do
that stuff because it gives him the security of knowing she's into him...
as bizarre as that sounds.

And what about those pet names themselves? There are "universal" or
"safe" pet names (e.g. baby, honey, cutie) that everyone can use over
and over.

Others, like "pumpkin", "sweet stuff", etc. probably aren't 'transferable'
to the next relationship -- it would feel weird. Re-using the "sacred" ones
would be kind of like calling out an ex-lover's name in bed, right?

All of this said, I do believe there are distinct words a man can use when
talking to a woman he likes that accomplish the same endearing purpose
as the "femmie" pet names, YET project all the right things about
manhood.

This is a tricky one, and highly variable depending on a guy's personality...
or the woman's for that matter. Oddly enough, "girlie", "female" and
"blondie" are examples I've heard can be used effectively.