=====

IN THIS EDITION:  We all know you're not supposed to look needy
and clingy.  That doesn't work.  So how can some guys succeed at
being persistent with women who aren't initially so into them?

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HE WAS "ALL TALK AND NO ACTION"...BUT HERE'S WHAT HE
DID ABOUT IT


Sometimes we spend so much time trying to find the right techniques
to attract women that we forget what is really attractive.
 
Women want a guy who's got his act together.  And women LOVE men
who take action.
 
When you get right down to it, we're either "doers" or "talkers",
and too many men talk about all their big ideas but never follow
through on them.

Women have no respect for guys like that.
 
Doers, on the other hand, turn women on with their ambition,
proactive confidence and raw effectiveness.

In the years I've been teaching guys, I've noticed the single
biggest factor that keeps most of us from getting our act together
is...


  Procrastination.
 

In fact, the vast majority of men even procrastinate when it comes
to the very first step in the process of attracting women.

That's right, they make excuses to put off meeting any of them
to begin with. 

Why in the world do we do that?

Worse, if you hesitate and avoid approaching a girl when you're
really attracted to her, chances are you're hesitating and avoiding
taking action in other areas of your life as well.

And this isn't only about putting things off that you know should
be done.  

For example, are you jumping from one project to another?

Do you have the tendency to not follow through with what you
start?

All of this ultimately has the same root cause.

It not only affects how successful you are in just about every
area of life, it also affects how you feel about yourself, doesn't
it?
 
I used to kick myself all the time for procrastinating.  I felt
stressed constantly and was mad at myself for failing to get things
done. 

That was YEARS ago...and man, what a difference it has made in
my life to change that mindset for the better.

All I can say is that the transformation would have happened for me
a LOT sooner had there been something like THIS years ago:


    
Productive And Successful


 
As it turns out, procrastination isn't about laziness, lack of
discipline or lack of willpower.

There's really nothing "wrong" with you.

So blaming yourself, trying to "just push through" and/or beating
yourself up won't work.  I can tell you that first hand.
 
There's only ONE way to rid yourself of the procrastination habit
that holds you back.  You have to remove the SOURCE of it:


 
He Who Gets Stuff Done Wins


 
This video reveals a whole new perspective on procrastination.

Watch it and you'll immediately increase your productivity.  You'll
flat-out get more done...period.
 
If you struggle with procrastination--or just wish you could get
more done during the course of a day--then this is for you:



Double Your Effectiveness Overnight



I have to say, if you just caught yourself saying, "I'll look at this
later", then you already know how important it is to watch this
now while it's fresh in your mind.




=====



QUESTION FROM A READER


Hey Scot,

I am thinking that this would be a good newsletter topic, because a
lot of guys wonder about this. I know it has been on my mind. But
alas, this is one of those topics that the Seduction Community
doesn't cover, at least not to the satisfaction of a mature man.

I have been getting your newsletters for a while, and I had the
pleasure and benefit of a couple of phone coaching sessions. You
talk a lot about being a chooser as opposed to being a chaser. That
makes perfect sense to me.

But there is another concept that also makes a lot of sense to me,
and this is the concept of being PERSISTENT.

Example: Woman goes on date with Man. Woman thinks Man is "nice"
but well, she isn't too excited about him.

Man is persistent though, and then thanks to his persistence, they
end up going on a second date, a third date, and so on, until Woman
develops real feelings for Man.

Then Man proposes to Woman for marriage and Woman giddily
accepts.

Didn't the guy "chase" her though?

So my dilemma is that the concept of being a chooser seems to go
against, as I am understanding it, the concept of being persistent
when we meet that woman who is really special.

And even when it comes to being persistent--how does one be
persistent without coming across as a stalker or being a pest?

One could say that it's all about making a strong impression in the
beginning, but what if for whatever reason that doesn't happen?

I am wondering all this because I've met a lot of women this past
year.  There were maybe two women in particular who each seemed
like she could be really special, but I wasn't really able to spark
attraction in the 90 minutes we met for drinks (as I was in other
women I wasn't as excited about).

I came across as a good guy but that was it. And in this day of
short attention spans and women insisting on "instant chemistry",
it does seem that doing that usually won't cut it when it comes to
getting a second date.

And needless to say, I never ended up getting together again with
these women.

So yeah, I do find myself thinking about these "near-misses" and
"what-could-have-beens".

What if I was more persistent? And would have there been a way for
me to have been more persistent without being a pest/coming across
as a stalker?

Anyway, thanks for reading. Happy New Year man!


Mike (Paradise Valley, AZ)



=====



Hello Mike.  It's good to hear from you.

This is a great topic.  And it's a tricky one, isn't it?

After all, isn't it a solid example of chasing vs. choosing
when we continue to pursue a woman who doesn't seem all that
interested at first?

Hmmm...maybe or maybe not, as I see it.

Amazingly, the truth of the matter, essentially, is that you really
CAN still be "selecting" even as you assert your will for a woman
to be in your life. 

How so?  Well, whereas "chasing" is rooted in desperation and fear
of loss, "choosing" in this instance is more a matter of knowing
what you want and going after it, failure not being an option. 
 
Since women do tend to follow a man's lead, the strategy CAN
actually prove successful.

The case of Michael Jordan's courtship with his first wife is a
famous example, as she was famously reticent to date an NBA player
at first.

The marriage ultimately ended in failure in the form of divorce
years later, so "success" here is indeed a relative concept, as it
so often is.

Nevertheless, when it does indeed work to be persistent with a woman
who isn't initially so into you, it's almost always because you as
a man finally started to demonstrate masculine qualities of leadership
and having a clear plan of action.  

This definitely involves replacing any "soft", tentative demeanor
you may have had at first with a bolder, more directed presence.

It involves stepping up and showing up where you may have only been
along for the ride on the first date, maybe in the hopes of
"playing it safe" and not offending her.

Certainly, you'll have to go for broke a little more the next time
you see her if you want to turn things around.

Obviously there also has to be some sort of real-world chance for
that next meeting to happen, which you might be able to finagle
via follow-up conversation on the phone, etc. 

It's important to understand that the woman has to have at least
LIKED you and felt reasonably safe and secure in your presence in
order for there to be ANY chance of success...ever.

Pushy, creepy and/or weird guys don't get "do-overs" with women in
this life. 
   
Similarly, if you've really managed to get yourself fully banished
to the dreaded "just be friends zone" it's highly improbable that
you'll ever get the return ticket back into her world.

Truly, she'll have to be the on the fence about you to some degree.

Assuming that's the case, like any true champion you should play to
win instead of running "Prevent Defense" as I've written about
before.

Bold moves are called for here, although I cannot underscore enough
that we're talking about assertiveness rather than aggression.

There's a HUGE difference, and the yardstick by which to measure it
is how much her perception of safety and security is taken into
consideration.
 
One important caveat is that executing the strategy I'm talking
about here to perfection rather than ruin requires literally more
confidence in oneself than the woman has even in herself.

If that sounds a bit esoteric, think about it for a minute and
it'll make sense.
 
That leads to a second, and arguably more significant caveat.  If
the woman isn't initially attracted to you, your leadership could
potentially result in her feeling as if she's settled for you. 

You never, ever want a woman to be with you because of personal
inability to say "no", which is a costly character flaw. 

You certainly also don't want or need a woman in your life who's
only there out of a sense of guilt, obligation or even flat-out
coercion.  Manipulation is ultimately worthless to you in the long
run.
 
I think you can see the "fine line" there. 

If a woman is repulsed by you despite your unrelenting pledges of
undying love and associated temper tantrums, that's one thing. 

But if she's "undecided" or talks about "taking it slow", then be
proactive and bold.  Go for what you want.

Similarly, if what's keeping the two of you apart is purely a
matter of, say, social politics (e.g. what others might say, her
"having been hurt in the past", an unwanted ex who "won't go away",
etc.) then feel free to lead in that persuasive manner if you
innately sense that the two of you should be together.