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IN THIS EDITION:  Is a woman a "slut" just because she likes sex?
More importantly, are there women out there who like sex, but who
aren't "slutty"? 
 
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FRENCH MAID OR NAUGHTY LIBRARIAN?


According to my friend Susan Bratton, trusted hot sex adviser to
millions, there are three basic sexual mindsets:


1)   Sexual Trance

This sexual style is like an altered state of consciousness. You
like to go “inside yourself” to better focus on the sensations,
taking turns with your partner giving and receiving.


2)   Partner Engagement

This is when both partners are connected together and present with
each other. The mutual pleasuring goes back and forth between you.


3)   Role Playing

You act on your fantasies by creating scenes together and taking on
roles. As you do this more often, it’s easier to try on roles that
are less like you.  The Naughty Librarian, French Maid, Doctor and
Nurse...the list goes on.


Discover how to fulfill each other’s fantasies--while making her
feel perfectly safe and secure with you--in Susan’s free video:



Exotic, Erotic Sex



Fantasizing about what you've always desired--and then finally
acting on it--is the key to generating erotic exotic sex everyday.

But be careful!  There are some really important guidelines to keep
in mind.  Otherwise, disaster could result...

That’s why you have to watch this free video:



Watch It Now

 

Susan is someone I trust. She and her husband of 24 years walk
their talk, no doubt.



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SLUTTY PSYCHOLOGY


Most girls have never really aspired to be sluts.  It has always
been a derogatory term.

But in reality, nowadays the word "slut" has devolved even further
to connote an overarching attitude that transcends mere sexual
openness.
 
For better or worse, most of us know it when we see it, even if
some of us can't really put a finger on an objective definition of
what it really is. 
 
My best shot at defining "sluttiness" would be as follows:  An
attitude that focuses more on flaunting the potential for engaging
in physical sex acts than on showcasing complete, holistic
feminine sexuality.

Others might broaden the spectrum to include any indication on
the part of a woman that she'll "have sex with anything that walks".
 
As such, a slut is apparently willing to cheapen herself to the
point of being valued only as a "sex toy" for men.  

She therefore sells herself short in terms of other feminine gifts
--or even non-gender specific gifts--she might have.

This occurs (to men and women alike, for what it's worth) as a
blatant lack of self-respect, which in turn breeds disrespect
toward her on the part of others.
 
Therein lies the inherent problem with the term itself. 

Slutty women generally succeed at creating sexual desire in
men while simultaneously causing us to be indifferent toward
--if not flatly repulsed by--everything else they represent.
 
I think the typical social pattern of sluttiness as it often plays
out in the real world would corroborate my definition, at least
at the basic level.

A whole book could be written on the psychology of sluttiness,
no doubt.
 
Meanwhile, a woman who celebrates herself as more of a holistic
feminine presence, if you will, can typically inspire immense
sexual desire while maintaining total self-respect. 

Amazing, isn't it?
 
The additional layer of wisdom such a woman has with regard to
what really triggers a healthier level of male admiration tends to
pay huge dividends in terms of how much she is respected and
appreciated by the kind of guy she'd be happy with long-term.

And that's what causes a woman to seem like marriage material
to us, right?
 
Importantly, there can be a significant amount of grey area with
regard to just how slutty a woman is relative to her long-term
potential factor.  Most women are neither 100% slut nor 100%
Sandra Dee-approved wife material.
 
Welcome to a key reason behind why some women can date a
guy for, say, two years with only empty promises of getting
engaged anytime soon.  

Elsewhere, there's another woman who can't get past the third
date with any guy before he shows up at her door with a little
box of bling from Jared. 
 
It's all about sexual desire relative to how much the guy respects
her. 

Respect is logically followed by trust, of course.  So the
sluttier a woman seems, the less a guys sees long-term
potential there. 

Interestingly, it's almost invariably women who are "nice" for the
most part but who have a bit of a slutty streak who find
themselves dating "commitment phobes".  

Unfortunately, this grey area is often completely misunderstood
by both men and women...if they have the wherewithal to
acknowledge it at all.

Maybe you can relate to that, having been in a relationship with
such a woman in the past who inspired a civil war in your mind
as to whether you really felt comfortable marrying her or not.
 
After a couple in such a position finally breaks up, the woman
may be left utterly confused when the same guy gets engaged to
his next girlfriend within a matter of months or even weeks.
 
But now--surprise--I'm going to drop a BOMB on this whole
conversation.

Here goes...ready?

As it turns out, that lack of sluttiness as an attitude per se
often has zero correlation to a woman's potential enjoyment of
sex...even lots of it. 

Your future wife can be both completely respectable and completely
horny and adventurous.  It's just that she's not so public about her
sexuality.
 
Unfortunately, this is something that a lot of guys who don't have
much experience with high-quality women fail to comprehend,
hence the widely-held belief that dating strippers or hiring prostitutes
is the way to go if they want to actually have good sex. 

For them "slut" = "sex" which is, of course, a belief that comes at
the expense of a whole host of other, incredibly satisfying feminine
gifts.

That's a tragic point of view to hold, and one that reeks of
inexperience to both high-quality women AND the men who are
truly effective with them.
 
As far as I know, no suitable word exists to describe such a woman
who is both sexual AND respectable.  But there should be.

I wish "vixen" worked, but there's a definition of that word that
connotes more of a "female dog" than a "female fox", if you get my
drift.  Perhaps "siren" would be better.

As a final note, you may see a movement afoot on the Internets to
to "reclaim" the word "slut" and give it a more positive connotation.

The problem with that is that the very word itself follows the
classic phonetic pattern of derogatory/pejorative terms in the
English language (e.g single-syllable, harsh consonants, etc.). 

For the same reason, the "F word" will never carry the same
meaning as "lovemaking".
 
All of that said, there is and will always be a place for role
playing sluttiness (and the "F word", for that matter), even
between couples with a healthy mutual respect...go figure.
 

Be Good,

Scot McKay




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