[X&Y] Crush "Limiting Beliefs" Forever (If You Dare)
Published: Sun, 03/06/16
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IN THIS EDITION: Do you really want to get better with women...or
are you just telling yourself that?=====
TAKE A DEEP BREATH BEFORE YOU READ THIS
Yes. In case you've never happened to notice, I usually tell you
about something new and cool at the beginning of my newsletters
before getting on to the main topic of the day.
(Which reminds me...I hope you haven't been deleting these things
before scrolling down some.)
But today is different. I suggest you buckle your seat belts
before getting a load of what I'm about to challenge you with.
It's going to represent a major crossroads for hundreds, if not
thousands of you. Seriously. And it won't matter whether you're
in a relationship with a woman now or not.
I know this because I've been to the place I'm about to describe.
Sure, it's been over a decade now...but I know first-hand how easy
it is to get there.
Fortunately for both you and me, I also know the way OUT.
If after reading what follows you sense more strongly than ever
that it's time to put me to work for you as your personal coach to
greatness with women, I'm sure I'll relate to your story 100%.
And for that very reason, I'll be glad to hear from you. Drop me
a note here:
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DO YOU REALLY WANT MORE SUCCESS WITH WOMEN?
Based on the e-mails I get, I am seeing a fascinating, if somewhat
tragic, trend going on.
There are guys out there who are continuously manufacturing "limiting
beliefs" for themselves, even as they SAY they want to welcome
fantastic, beautiful and sexy women into their lives.
Are you one of those guys?
I'm sure you're shaking your head. After all, why even subscribe
to a newsletter like this if your goal ISN'T to improve with women?
But listen, I hear every day from guys who think their age, height,
ethnicity or some other factor is holding them back.
And even though in 100% of the cases (yes...I said 100%) that sort of
"limiting belief" can indeed be overcome with breathtaking
effectiveness, I can understand why we as guys could easily get
fixated on the self-perceived negatives.
If you feel like life has "dealt you a bad hand", it's hard enough
to overcome it (even though you can, of course).
But the scenario that still shocks me after over ten years as a dating
coach is when guys invent stuff to make sure success with women
eludes them.
Worse, sometimes guys even choose to conclude that "limiting
beliefs" are beyond their control, when oftentimes it's plain as
day that they're completely within their sphere of personal
influence.
Okay, enough theory. What am I talking about here?
Here are a few examples.
For starters, a guy may be living at home with his mom at age
40...lamenting the fact that he can't get a date because of it.
Or, a guy may have been laid off from his job, and is completely
convinced that no woman will ever date him until he gets a job.Or a certain guy may be 20 or 30 pounds overweight and assumes
that's what is holding him back from meeting women.
Now, when "limiting beliefs" truly are beyond our control, I can
understand why we as guys would feel like we're at a disadvantage
when it comes to attracting women. (Never mind the truth that even
those can be overcome.)
But there's a big difference here.
The three examples I've listed above are fully within our control.
If you're 40 years old and still living with your Mommy, you CAN
move out.
If you've lost your job, you CAN get another one.
And if you've got some weight to lose, you CAN do it.
But to be completely realistic with you, even these self-imposed
"limitations" aren't the obstacles to attracting women that we make
them out to be.
Heck, you're talking to a guy who once told himself that until he
lost 30 pounds, no woman would want him. After my divorce, I
waited until I lost the weight before I started dating.
Sure enough, I started meeting some nice women. Then I ended up
gaining much of the weight back for a while there and women liked
me MORE.
Go figure.
And remember, you're also talking to a guy who lost his dream job
around the same time his first marriage ended. But I still was
able to get a date.
Women were perfectly understanding of the fact that there was a
downturn in the IT world and that I was looking for a new job.
All I needed to be was confident that the new job would happen.
And I had to actively LOOK for that job instead of watching Jerry
Springer and collecting unemployment checks.
So yes. If you believe you're too fat, you really CAN lose the
weight (even though it really doesn't matter as much as you think).
And if you're unemployed, you CAN find a job.
And if you live at home, you CAN move out. Admittedly, I haven't
had to come to grips with this one personally, but I've sure worked
with plenty of guys who finally left the nest after thinking it was
too daunting a challenge at their advanced age.
But so many guys STILL DON'T.
In fact, they don't even really try.
What's up with that?
Well, I'll tell you.
No matter how much some of us SAY we want to be more successful
with women, the TRUTH is that (drum roll...) we're much more
comfortable with mediocrity.
That's right, I said it.
The status quo flat-out doesn't hurt enough to be worth changing.
Sure, we can subscribe to newsletters and listen to podcasts, but
that just serves as a way of temporarily assuaging ourselves that
we're doing something to get better with women.
But we really aren't.
For better or worse, in this culture (and if you can afford an
Internet connection you qualify) living in mediocrity is FAR too
comfortable.
We've got a roof over our heads, nobody's shooting at us, and we're
not starving. So loading a new game on the X-box and diving
into a new bag of Cheetos is like falling out of bed. And it feels
sort of okay, if not flat-out good at times.
Meanwhile, any sort of change at all involves inherent discomfort,
doesn't it?
Something's gotta give, and that involves moving away from the
routine of "normal" life and facing the uncertainty of what the
future holds.
That's not always such a fun thought, is it?
Then there's that one devastating factor that's so hard to ignore:
You may TRY...but FAIL.
Ka-boom! And the emotions associated with that--especially as a
man--are potentially too heavy to deal with.
So what do we do? We wake up today and do the same thing we did
yesterday, that's what.
And we also continue to give lip service to the fact that it sucks
that we can't find any great women to be with...but passively so.
Well, if you really want to end the cycle of failure with women and
start meeting great ones for a change, you've got to do something.
It may have to be something radical, but probably not.
In fact, the steps necessary to bring about the change you say you
want may not be nearly as scary as you think they are.
But you must move from top dead center. Otherwise, you'll keep
doing what you've always done and you'll keep getting what you've
always gotten.
All the while, women out there are craving a great man just like
YOU.
I'm speaking the truth when I say that if you at least make an
effort as a man with even a shred of confidence, you WILL be
rewarded by women with their respect and even their affection.
But you've also GOT to make the decision to go for it.
Some of you have been writing me e-mails asking me for "quick fix"
answers to complex questions. You say you want a life-changing
silver bullet, but you don't want to invest any time, energy or
even a few bucks to get the answers.
And no matter what I write in response to your e-mail--even though I
typically expend more personal time and energy when I answer you
than you did when you asked--you'll do nothing.
Today's newsletter is for YOU if you're really, truly sick of not
having the women in your life you want to deserve. And if you've
been challenged and perhaps even motivated by what you've read so
far I applaud you.
After all, remember this always: I was once in your shoes.
But fast-forward to today. Man, am I ever glad that back in 2002 I
lost everything and hit rock bottom. Otherwise, I may have never
been motivated to change.
Had I not been literally forced to do things differently, I may
still be a "cubicle jockey" by day and in a miserable marriage.
But here it is: You do NOT have to lose everything in order to
wake up to the fact that massive success could be right under your
nose.
And I sincerely trust you won't wait until you lose everything to
figure that all out.But what IS it going to take? Was this urgent message I just
delivered to you enough?
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. If what you've just read sounds exactly as if I've written
it just for you, I did. It's time to write me and put me to work
for you and start being a man of reality instead of mere
"potential":
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