[X&Y] What If She's Not Making It Easy To Meet Her?

Published: Thu, 01/19/17



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IN THIS EDITION:  Why is it that nearly all of us derail ourselves
in a very common and identifiable way when it comes to approaching
women?  It's time to stop derailment in its tracks!

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WHAT IF SHE'S NOT MAKING IT EASY TO MEET HER?


Scot,
 
Just encountered the following scenario.  Didn't have a plan in
hand so I skipped it.  As follows:

Went to the corner coffee shop for lunch, it was mostly empty at 3
pm.  In the back of the shop an attractive woman was sitting alone
at a small table working on her laptop.

She looked very stern, preoccupied.

It looked like a tough challenge so I sat down at a different table
and went about my lunch.  What is the correct approach when someone
doesn't appear to want to be approached?

Maybe the best approach is to catch her later.


Thanks,

Rich (Chicago, IL)
 


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Hello Rich, and thanks for writing.

You know, the fact that we coach both men and women around here has
proven to be highly interesting at times.  I'm becoming more and
more amazed by how useful the coaching we give men is for women to
overhear, and vice-versa.  

And indeed, the number one issue we get from women without a guy in
their life at the moment is "Why won't guys talk to me?"  

Assuming there's no easy explanation based on mental health,
hygiene and/or congenital resemblance to a Wookiee, the answer is
almost always because they simply don't make themselves
approachable.

Stern expressions.  Cold demeanors.  Always too busy (or flat-out
oblivious to her surroundings) to even potentially realize that
someone else may want to strike up a conversation.

Sure, some of these women have boyfriends, are married or simply
are not interested in being approached for whatever reason.

Yet the fact remains that others literally have no idea what
non-verbal messages to "stay away" they are sending.

A similar issue is how women act completely cold on first dates so
as not to appear "needy" or "slutty" and then wonder why guys never
want second dates.

News flash:  It's not necessarily because all men are "sex obsessed
dogs".  All too often a guy doesn't ask for the second date because
he thought the woman was disinterested and therefore didn't risk the
potential "rejection" of asking!

Certainly by now, guys, you know that I'm a consistent proponent of
"manning up" and talking to whichever women you'd like.

It's not a contest.  It's a conversation.

Your manhood is not on the line every time you make a well-formed
attempt to speak to a woman whom you've never met.

And for certain it's also important for guys to take leadership on
dates.

But sure, each of us is far from perfect--more so at some times than
others, unfortunately.

Even so, it's all too easy for a guy--or a woman, when the shoe is
on the other foot--to assume he or she has "messed up" every time
things don't go according to what's envisioned.

But that's not a reasonable assumption.  It's a simple truth that
sometimes the person you'd like to meet could use to work on his or
her social skills.
 
So the important takeaway is that what you encountered today was
her problem, not yours.  That's important to understand.

If someone doesn't seem approachable and/or even friendly, why
should anyone even care to "bother" him or her?  Right?

I mean, "stern, preoccupied" people suck, huh?  Conversation
involves two people.  Otherwise, it's just a "versation".

What if you actually had approached this woman in a casual,
friendly manner...assuming she wasn't fully aware of how
she appeared?

Should she immediately smile and "loosen up", then you'll have a
nice chance to meet a woman who may very well have no idea why men
are so intimidated by talking to her.

In such case you'll set yourself apart from the masses of "everymen"
straightaway, and she'll have no choice but to be a bit intrigued.

But hey, if she bites your head off you simply cannot take it
personally.

If she is rude or unfriendly toward a warm, confident person who is
being appropriately outgoing, it's HER problem.  

Remember "TGR-R" (The Golden Rule--Reversed), as talked about
so often around here.

Would you ever treat someone the way she's treating you?  If the
answer is "never in a million years", then you deserve better.

In that case, yes--catch her later...much.



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So what about you?  Are you meeting the kind of women you really
want to?

One of the best ways I know of to do that is by putting the obstacles
of the past behind, knowing what kind of women you want to meet,
becoming a man who deserves what you want, and then going out
and making it happy.  

And the plan for that is exactly what you'll find in my first book, aptly
named Deserve What You Want.

Have you read it yet?  If not, it's time to stop wondering what's
limiting you from experiencing a wildly successful dating life.

Instead, take the first step to never, ever settling...ever again:

Your minty-fresh copy awaits you here (along with an armful of
bonuses and a full audiobook version):



http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/men



Prepare to be challenged in a way that will excite you...and be sure
to enjoy the stranger-than-fiction testimonials from others whose
lives have been transformed.

Be sure to take full advantage of the free month of Power Sessions
also.  That way you get unlimited e-mail coaching from me
personally.
 
 
 
 

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