[X&Y] Winning Over Her Female Friends

Published: Fri, 02/03/17


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WHAT'S INSIDE:  So you've met a great woman.  Here's more on
what happens when it's time to meet her female friends.

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WINNING OVER HER FEMALE FRIENDS


Whenever I've seen the topic of this newsletter covered elsewhere,
it almost invariably has been in the context of a discussion on
pickup.

For example, it's either about how to "isolate" a woman from a
group of women or how to approach a "set" of multiple women without
being so obvious about which one you really want to get close to.

All of that is well and good, but today I want to focus on a skill
that's a bit different--and arguably MORE important to master.

That's how to deal with a woman's friends AFTER you've long
established attraction and have actually started dating her.

I gave you one specific example of a BFF who's a "troublemaker"
in a recent newsletter, remember?

But having thought about it some, there's WAY more to discuss on
this topic, isn't there?  

After all, women are social creatures.  They tend to have tons of
friends and they LOVE to spend time with them.

That can only mean that sooner than later if you hang out with HER,
you're going to be meeting her friends.

In all likelihood, they'll actually end up being around quite a bit.

And that's precisely why you've got to know how to interact with
them successfully, regardless of what they're like.

You see, it's very important to a woman that her friends approve of
you, especially if you're in a long-term relationship.

On the surface that can impose a lot of pressure on us.  If we're
not careful, we can almost let "fear of rejection" resurface in an
odd, twisted sort of way.

But as is almost always the case in this life, you shouldn't even
THINK about trying to actively seek approval.

Conveniently, that brings up the first bit of good news you're
going to get from me today.

As far as her friends go, you don't REALLY have to "create
attraction", as it were.

Most of us really only want our friends to be happy, right?

So then, notwithstanding open jealousy like we saw in the previous
newsletter, if her friends see that you treat her right and she's
walking on air, that's all they'll need.  You'll be pretty much in.

In fact, if she's crazy about you already then SHE has probably
done all of the "heavy lifting" for you ahead of time.  

That is, she's probably talked about how wonderful you are to the
point that her friends can't wait to meet you, and they'll be
expecting the best.

All you need to do is to show up and be the same guy who attracted
her to begin with.  

Now, that's where the next part of the equation comes into play.

Note that I mentioned above that your girl's friends don't HAVE to
be as sexually attracted to you as she is.

That said, however, if they ARE it's okay.

In fact, don't you dare let the pendulum swing to the other side
such that you neuter yourself here.  

Don't make the mistake of assuming you've got to somehow avoid any
self-perceived political hassles associated with making her
friends hot for you.

She's not going to get angry or jealous of her friends if they find
you attractive unless she's got serious problems.

Keep being the confident, masculine man of character who inspires
her confidence.

And if that has become HABIT for you--as it should--then you've got
nothing to worry about.

That said, no matter HOW attractive her friends are, and no matter
HOW attractive they find you to be, NEVER act on it.

Never flirt in a sexual manner with her friends...ever.

ONLY show sexual interest in your girl, and even then keep it on
the "down low" lest you make everyone else want to vomit.

If it sounds like there's a certain balance you've got to achieve
here, you're right on the money.

What we're talking about is in many ways an advanced skill.

You've got to somehow be masculine in a way that creates natural
attraction in your girlfriend, which presents the distinct
possibility of attracting her friends as well.

But at the same time you don't want to lead in a sexually
flirtatious manner with her friends that could be interpreted as
disrespect.  That'll backfire every time.

You've heard me define "flirting" as "any interaction between a man
and a woman that would feel inappropriate and awkward if between
two heterosexual members of the same gender".

Well, never is a basic understanding of how flirting works MORE
important than when you're in the company of your girlfriend AND
her friends at the same time.

So what should the plan of action be?

The simplest way for me to describe the way to operate is as
follows.

Feel free to tease and banter with her friends in a way that
acknowledges that they're female, but NEVER in a way that's
designed to steer either the conversation OR their thoughts in a
sexual direction.

Yes, you should definitely continue to lead as a man should always,
while subtly demonstrating inner strength and self-control.  

But let all of your masculine presence and conversational banter
stand alone.  You're NOT trying to "escalate" anything, as it were.

You're simply MALE, and they're FEMALE.  Masculinity and femininity
naturally mesh in a certain way during the course of social
interaction.

BUT...when interacting with your girl, on the other hand, be sure to
uniquely interject just a hint of sexual interest that is decidedly
NOT there when talking to her friends.

It's as if you add an "extra layer" there.

That way your girlfriend is set apart by you as your "love
interest", even as you subcommunicate the fact that you've got
enough class and enough respect for her NOT to be all over her
like a puppy dog.

Her friends will sense immediately that you "get it".

What's more, the beauty of this whole strategy is that you can
pretty much apply it regardless of the social situation.  

Large party?  Small get-together?  Science class?  It really
doesn't matter.

Now, two very good things will occur as a direct result of your
getting this whole sequence right:



1)  Her friends will think she's got to be the most fortunate
woman on Earth to have "lucked into" finding a guy like you.


2)  Your girlfriend will be insanely HOT for you when you're alone
together later.  As she sees it, everything we've been talking
about here will essentially have been "extended foreplay".



Do I have to mention that if on the off chance things go awry with
your girlfriend her friends might be beating down the door to take
her place?

Looks like I just did.  

But be careful with that one, obviously.  And whatever you do,
don't entertain sexual advances from a woman's friends while you're
still dating her.  Be firm about that should it ever come up.

What I've shared with you today, gentlemen, is golden.  

In fact, let me close by sharing one last point with you that
should truly solidify everything for you.

When you get this whole idea of acknowledging a woman's femininity
vs. open sexual flirtation down--and recognize the situational
importance of each in it's own respectively appropriate
setting--you'll find that you can also apply EVERY SHRED of what
I've told you today when you meet her SISTER or even her MOM.

To be honest, based on what I've seen from Emily's hairless
terrier, it might even work on her DOG, so long as it's female.
 
 
 
 

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