[X&Y] The Real Point Of Online Dating (This Changes Everything)
Published: Mon, 05/15/17
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WHAT'S INSIDE: It seems some people are missing the whole point
of online dating.
=====
GO AHEAD...MEET SOME WOMEN ONLINE (BEFORE EVERY OTHER
GUY DOES INSTEAD)
So maybe after reading yesterday's newsletter you've been thinking
more about either getting online for the first time or sharpening
up your existing online presence. Maybe it's time to finally try Tinder.
I'm about to show you how to go from messaging whoever can "fog a
mirror" and hoping for results to identifying, contacting and meeting your
*very first choices* among all the women in you metro area:
50% Off -- Online Dating Domination 2.0
There's no bigger frustration than seeing the most amazing woman
ever online, writing her a message, NEVER hearing from her and being
left to WONDER whether or not she really was as great as she
seemed...but NEVER to really know for sure.
Well, here's the solution...field tested and proven by men all over the
world:
50% Off -- Online Dating Domination 2.0
And yes, you can still use the "odd50" coupon code to get an
instant 50% off until Tuesday night. You won't see it mentioned on
the web page, but it's automatically applied for you at checkout.
Plus, as always the risk is on me. I back Online Dating Domination
2.0 with a 365 day money-back guarantee.
Summer is HERE, gentlemen. The women are out there looking good
and online dating is fast, logical way to meet LOTS of them in a short
amount of time.
=====
ONLINE DATING OR DATING ONLINE?
Have you ever considered that we as a modern culture are becoming
more and more disconnected from each other?
One's first thought when considering that idea is, "Hey, wait a
minute. Everyone's got an Internet connection and a cell phone
these days. And geez...what about social media? If anything, we're
MORE connected."
But that's precisely the issue. With the ability to get online for
"typing and Skyping" on the fly and the advent of text messaging
we can communicate easier than ever. Granted.
But do we really connect?
Personally, I'm not at all sure we really do. Despite all the
technology allowing us to communicate, people are actually
gathering less often in real life. In the framework of our "wired"
lifestyle we actually tend to meet fewer people in real life than
we used to, and less often.
And perhaps most alarmingly, it would appear we like it that way.
One key example we covered was how people are actually dating
online instead of online dating.
What am I talking about here?
Simply put, I'm hearing more and more from men and women who are
dating someone they've never even met. Seriously.
The process often proceeds as follows. First, two people from
completely different metro areas begin a simple conversation
online.
It can begin innocuously enough, with someone appearing on some
odd nationwide search run by someone else and getting a quick
email to say hello. That email is answered and before long both
parties are behaving as if they've found their "soulmate".
Now granted, some sites openly encourage long-distance
communication, especially niche sites that as yet have too few
members to promote interesting choices at the local level.
Inexplicably, even eHarmed-me...er, eHarmony yet persists also at
driving the "soulmate fantasy" to the national level with newbie
members.
Almost invariably, what happens is that two people who have never
met each other end up emotionally attached. They may even feel like
they're "in love".
Well, of course, they're absolutely, positively only "in love" with
a fantasy until that all-important first meeting happens. That much
is self-evident.
But lately I've come to a very sobering realization. (Or is it that
I've always realized this, but am only now getting over my
subconscious urge to mentally suppress it so as to salvage some
semblance of emotional well-being?):
A lot of these people have no interest in actually meeting each
other.
That's right. I said it. There are people out there-and more than
you think-who are living vicariously through their online dating
experience.
This can happen for several reasons.
First, someone may believe that they're not nearly as sexually
attractive as they once were. So they post old pics from when they
were at their "peak", fudge on their age in their profile, and
proceed to enjoy the "attention"...all the while daring not to ever
come out from behind their online facade.
This factor is particularly pandemic among women, by the way.
Or, someone may genuinely wish to meet someone terrific online, but
is way, way too socially anxious to actually meet in person. They
can't bring themselves to do it.
If you are one who is actually partaking of this sort of
self-indulgence, think long and hard about whether or not you are
actually benefiting yourself or if you're simply allowing yourself
to become more disconnected from your reality.
Is leading someone else on really all that fulfilling, or is it
actually having the opposite effect on your self-esteem as you
thought it might?
Some of us, I suspect, are actually embracing the disconnect from
actual human beings in favor of the hope that we will somehow become
more comfortable with expecting less from ourselves physically,
emotionally and socially.
Consider that one for a second.
And what if you find yourself on the other side of the
equation...apparently enamored with someone who is resisting the
opportunity to actually meet you-as in real, live and in-person?
If that's the case, first of all resist any unrealistic tendency to
hold on to the "fantasy", lest cognitive dissonance take over.
In other words, you may want so badly for the person on the other end
of that online profile to be who you hope they'll be that you'll
overlook any evidence to the contrary.
You'll tolerate resistance to move to the phone, even after a month
of e-mailing. You'll "overlook" the hours upon hours of phone
conversations that have resulted in subject changes every time you
broach the subject of meeting for coffee.
If you're like at least one woman who e-mailed us, you'll even brush
off someone by being "too busy" to meet even after you've stepped off
of an airplane in the city where that person lives!
If any of what I just described rings a bell, here it is: you are
getting played.
What you are doing is not online dating. It's dating online.
Now, granted, a lot of online dating training focuses on simply
getting responses to first e-mails. While I think that's a great
start, you've got to remember that the entire goal of online dating
should be to actually meet someone.
But for all the reasons we've discussed here, now more than ever
everyone simply has got to be increasingly vigilant in today's
"disconnected" culture against missing the point.
If you get a telephone number from a woman you've been e-mailing
back and forth with online, and you chose to text her instead of
calling her you have not moved forward at all.
You are still just typing at her. Consider how you may be actually
contributing to the "disconnected" cultural mindset by doing this.
You really are just "dating online" until the two of you actually
meet.
So above all, remember this. Online dating is all about real-life
connection. It's all about actually meeting someone great. Apart
from that, you're just playing games.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2017. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.
instant 50% off until Tuesday night. You won't see it mentioned on
the web page, but it's automatically applied for you at checkout.
Plus, as always the risk is on me. I back Online Dating Domination
2.0 with a 365 day money-back guarantee.
Summer is HERE, gentlemen. The women are out there looking good
and online dating is fast, logical way to meet LOTS of them in a short
amount of time.
=====
ONLINE DATING OR DATING ONLINE?
Have you ever considered that we as a modern culture are becoming
more and more disconnected from each other?
One's first thought when considering that idea is, "Hey, wait a
minute. Everyone's got an Internet connection and a cell phone
these days. And geez...what about social media? If anything, we're
MORE connected."
But that's precisely the issue. With the ability to get online for
"typing and Skyping" on the fly and the advent of text messaging
we can communicate easier than ever. Granted.
But do we really connect?
Personally, I'm not at all sure we really do. Despite all the
technology allowing us to communicate, people are actually
gathering less often in real life. In the framework of our "wired"
lifestyle we actually tend to meet fewer people in real life than
we used to, and less often.
And perhaps most alarmingly, it would appear we like it that way.
One key example we covered was how people are actually dating
online instead of online dating.
What am I talking about here?
Simply put, I'm hearing more and more from men and women who are
dating someone they've never even met. Seriously.
The process often proceeds as follows. First, two people from
completely different metro areas begin a simple conversation
online.
It can begin innocuously enough, with someone appearing on some
odd nationwide search run by someone else and getting a quick
email to say hello. That email is answered and before long both
parties are behaving as if they've found their "soulmate".
Now granted, some sites openly encourage long-distance
communication, especially niche sites that as yet have too few
members to promote interesting choices at the local level.
Inexplicably, even eHarmed-me...er, eHarmony yet persists also at
driving the "soulmate fantasy" to the national level with newbie
members.
Almost invariably, what happens is that two people who have never
met each other end up emotionally attached. They may even feel like
they're "in love".
Well, of course, they're absolutely, positively only "in love" with
a fantasy until that all-important first meeting happens. That much
is self-evident.
But lately I've come to a very sobering realization. (Or is it that
I've always realized this, but am only now getting over my
subconscious urge to mentally suppress it so as to salvage some
semblance of emotional well-being?):
A lot of these people have no interest in actually meeting each
other.
That's right. I said it. There are people out there-and more than
you think-who are living vicariously through their online dating
experience.
This can happen for several reasons.
First, someone may believe that they're not nearly as sexually
attractive as they once were. So they post old pics from when they
were at their "peak", fudge on their age in their profile, and
proceed to enjoy the "attention"...all the while daring not to ever
come out from behind their online facade.
This factor is particularly pandemic among women, by the way.
Or, someone may genuinely wish to meet someone terrific online, but
is way, way too socially anxious to actually meet in person. They
can't bring themselves to do it.
If you are one who is actually partaking of this sort of
self-indulgence, think long and hard about whether or not you are
actually benefiting yourself or if you're simply allowing yourself
to become more disconnected from your reality.
Is leading someone else on really all that fulfilling, or is it
actually having the opposite effect on your self-esteem as you
thought it might?
Some of us, I suspect, are actually embracing the disconnect from
actual human beings in favor of the hope that we will somehow become
more comfortable with expecting less from ourselves physically,
emotionally and socially.
Consider that one for a second.
And what if you find yourself on the other side of the
equation...apparently enamored with someone who is resisting the
opportunity to actually meet you-as in real, live and in-person?
If that's the case, first of all resist any unrealistic tendency to
hold on to the "fantasy", lest cognitive dissonance take over.
In other words, you may want so badly for the person on the other end
of that online profile to be who you hope they'll be that you'll
overlook any evidence to the contrary.
You'll tolerate resistance to move to the phone, even after a month
of e-mailing. You'll "overlook" the hours upon hours of phone
conversations that have resulted in subject changes every time you
broach the subject of meeting for coffee.
If you're like at least one woman who e-mailed us, you'll even brush
off someone by being "too busy" to meet even after you've stepped off
of an airplane in the city where that person lives!
If any of what I just described rings a bell, here it is: you are
getting played.
What you are doing is not online dating. It's dating online.
Now, granted, a lot of online dating training focuses on simply
getting responses to first e-mails. While I think that's a great
start, you've got to remember that the entire goal of online dating
should be to actually meet someone.
But for all the reasons we've discussed here, now more than ever
everyone simply has got to be increasingly vigilant in today's
"disconnected" culture against missing the point.
If you get a telephone number from a woman you've been e-mailing
back and forth with online, and you chose to text her instead of
calling her you have not moved forward at all.
You are still just typing at her. Consider how you may be actually
contributing to the "disconnected" cultural mindset by doing this.
You really are just "dating online" until the two of you actually
meet.
So above all, remember this. Online dating is all about real-life
connection. It's all about actually meeting someone great. Apart
from that, you're just playing games.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2017. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.