=====

WHAT'S INSIDE:  Got a "sticking point" you can't seem to get over?
You may have power over it you haven't tapped into yet. =====

=====



NO MORE FRIEND ZONE DISASTERS


Are you the Nice Guy that finishes last and finds himself in the
friend zone?

Are you tired of being a human resource, shoulder to cry on,
or someone else's back-up plan?

Tired of always getting the "let's just be friends" speech?

Don't know how to take it to the "next level" with a woman?

The great news is you CAN transform your mindset, leading to
a dramatic positive change in your relationships with women.

You can boost your confidence so that women see you as MUCH
more than a friend.

Meet a Quincy Salonga, host of the popular FREE interview
series “End The Friend Zone".

It''s about how to set your boundaries, end the destructive
patterns and finally get the girl.

Quincy invited me to be part of this event, and I'm proud to
participate.

In it, I and 20 other experts share powerful knowledge about
why you're getting "friendzoned" and how to arm yourself so it
never happens again.

Best of all, it's FREE:



Free Summit For Men



I get a lot of invitations to participate in online events and I
choose them wisely because I want to make sure I'm adding
value for you.

Ready to stop getting "friendzoned" and make women WANT
you instead?

This FREE interview series is just for you.



Click Here To Register For Free

=====



READER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS


Below is a note I received recently from Stan, one of our
readers. 

Be sure to hang in there for my answer even if you feel like
you can't exactly relate to Stan's specific question.  It'll
actually apply to just about any "sticking point" imaginable.

And if you CAN identify withstand, what you're about to read
from me may make you VERY angry at first. All I ask is that you
consider what I say and see the truth in it.  Remember always,
I'm 100% about your success with women.



=====


   
Hello Scot:

Okay, I have a big sticking point:  The living at home thing.

I'm going to come out with it straight. I'm 35 and living at home
still.

Not by choice I might add, it's just the way the coin landed.

I decided to take the route of doing what I wanted in life, but
building the business has been a verrrry slow process.

With the sporadic nature of what I do I wouldn't even be able to
begin to think about a mortgage on a place.

And as far as I am concerned renting a place outright is like
throwing money into the wind.

My finances aren't exactly in good order anyway.

So I'm stuck living at home with my parents.

I might also add that my parents are elderly and my father suffers
from a severe medical condition.

Even if I could move out there would be a good chance I'd need to
be on hand to assist with him since he cannot be left in the house
on his own and needs help with most stuff.

I always feel the need to keep quiet about the fact that I still
live at home when I meet women.

I'm not ashamed of it, because I know the reasons (it is also worth
noting that it only seems to be western countries that have a hang
up about this kind of thing).

But I know that as soon as I mention it she's going to start
getting all those old stereotypes in her head about the type of
person I might be still living at home.

So how would you overcome this sort of thing?

Not every guy who still lives at home is some sort of creepy loser.
Yet the big connotation that people think of is "Well, he's not a
real man" if he happens to be in that situation.

Keep up the good work with the podcasts. Really enjoy them.


Best regards,

Stan



=====



Thanks for writing Stan.  I'm glad you're enjoying the podcasts,
and rest assured I'll get back to work on new episodes soon.

Now let's get down to business.  This is going to be one of those
"tough love" kind of answers, but rest assured that 1) I've got
your best interests at heart here, and 2)  I respect your right to
draw your own conclusions and make your own decisions.

There are two main points I feel compelled to make in response to
your question about overcoming the obstacle of trying to attract
women vis-à-vis still living at home at age 35.

The first point is simply this:  You CANNOT "overcome" the
obstacle at hand simply by wishing it away because it's a VERY
REAL obstacle.

You're not going to "beat the system" here.

To illustrate, allow me to present you with a few analogies
relating to how we as men are attracted to women.

All too often Emily will get an e-mail from a woman in which she'll
rant at length about one of several things.

It may be that she's very powerful in her job, makes a lot of money
and can't find a man who isn't "intimidated" by that.

Or, she may go on about how "all men are the same"; they can't be
trusted, all of them are liars and on top of all else they "only
want one thing".  By the way, can Emily find her a GOOD one?

Or, she may be severely overweight and wants Emily to tell her how
to find a nice man because she's "confused" by her lack of success.
How can men be so "shallow" and not love her for who she is
inside?  By the way, she has a non-negotiable "laundry list" of
what her dream guy needs to look and be like.

But the reality is that MOST men won't prefer a woman who is more
successful professionally and financially than he is.

And almost ALL respectable men will not enter into a relationship
with a woman who has no respect for him as a man.

And a staggeringly high percentage of men are just not sexually
attracted to morbidly obese women.

Sure...A FEW guys might find themselves attracted to such women. 
But not many.

I think you know what I'm going to say next, so I'm just going to
throw it out on the table.

Yes...the analogy most certainly applies to your situation also.

The VAST MAJORITY of women will NOT want to date a man who
is 35 and still lives with his parents.

Now, you can point to the rare exception you know of where some
guy who lives at home somehow got a girlfriend.

But you will NOT change the overarching reality of it all:  Your
success rate with women would improve dramatically were you to get
your own place.

I probably don't have to explain why most guys would rather find
someone else to go out with than one of the three women I just
talked about.

But just for the good of the cause, I'm going to tell you that
despite your excuses the reason why your situation disqualifies you
from dating most women is actually very simple and basic.

In her eyes, if your Mommy and Daddy still have to support you,
there's not a snowball's chance in Yuma, Arizona that you're going
to be able to be the protector and provider she's looking for in a
man.

Might there be a woman here and there who "understands" you
and identifies with your excuses as you do?

Sure.  But there just straight-up, flat-out won't be a whole lot of
them.

And even so, the ones who DO go out with you would probably be MUCH
MORE attracted to you if you lived independently.

Or, you'd probably get even better women if you had a different
living arrangement.

It's a "deserve what you want thing", really.

Now remember, I said there were going to be two points. 

The second is that you actually DO have a choice in the matter,
regardless of the fact that you've spent the majority of your
message giving every excuse you could think of in defense of your
decision to live at home.

Consider this quote from your e-mail:


  "Not by choice I might add, it's just the way the coin landed.  I
  decided to take the route of doing what I wanted in life."


Although separated by a paragraph break in your message, I combined
those two statements together in this context to make a point.

The sentences are in direct contradiction to each other, obviously.
They cannot both be true. 

Either life happened to you, or you proactively went and made it
happen.  You can't have it both ways.

So which is it?

Similarly, you talk about being, in effect, stuck living at home
out of obligation to care for Dad.  Was that the situation
seventeen years ago when you were 18, or is that a relatively
recent development? 

If the latter, then you can't treat it as a valid excuse for
NEVER having left home.

Are your circumstances completely OUT of your control?  Or is it
fully WITHIN your ability to affect where you stand on this and
what you do about it?

Are you a victim here?  Or have you CHOSEN your lot?

Based on what you've written, it appears as if you'd like to help
yourself feel better about your situation by offloading all
responsibility onto random circumstance rather than personal choice.

But the simple truth is that you always HAVE had a choice, and
you've MADE it. 

And you continue to have a say in the matter of your life even now.

Consider again the three women I told you about above.

In each of those situations, if the woman would REALLY rather find
a great guy than anything else she's going to have to be WILLING to
accept responsibility for her lack of dating success, and she's
also going to have to DO what it takes to turn things around.

It's really just a matter of priorities, as it has been all along.

How you have elected to pursue your career, how you've budgeted
what money you have made, your opinions about owning vs. renting
and even your very perspective on money itself have shaped your
circumstances.

What you've done (and yes, it has all been YOUR doing) is that
you've PRIORITIZED going about your business as you choose OVER
maximizing your attractiveness to women.

That has been YOUR choice.  And make no mistake, if that's what you
have really wanted (and it apparently is) then it's perfectly okay.

But like the ladies in the analogy I presented earlier, you just
can't have your cake and eat it too...perhaps literally.

You can't change the rules.  There are benefits and consequences of
each decision we make in life, and we just can't dismiss the dark
side of the reality and make it disappear.

You have made your life easier in many ways by living at home.  But
you have also made it FAR, FAR more difficult to find and attract a
great woman.

As long as you continue to live in your parents' home, you will
dramatically impact your ability to attract a high quality woman
and build a long-term relationship with her.

And don't kid yourself.  This isn't a problem you can blame on the
women themselves when they're uninterested in you.

Neither you nor I can reasonably expect to go out there and just
make women stop thinking and feeling as they do about you.  They
will believe as they do, and largely for good reason, I might add. 

It is what it is.  And the WORST news of all is that things are
only going to get worse for you as you get older.

But fortunately, if you DO want to change your priorities, YOU can.
And then "what is" will no longer affect you.

And if that's what you TRULY want from this point forward, then
that's what you'll do.  But similarly, if your status quo
ultimately sounds like a better plan to you, you'll stick with it.

Assuming you WOULD like to improve your chances with women, you'll
begin making plans to find an inexpensive living arrangement--
perhaps with a roommate--that's close enough to where your parents
live that you can continue to assist with your Dad.

I mean, that's what most of the rest of the other guys in a
situation similar to yours are doing.

And if you choose to stay at home, even if just for the short term?

Well, then you could try to spin your living situation as your
parents living WITH YOU because they're old and infirmed, etc...I
guess.

But women probably still won't be all that impressed, and you're
still going to be mortified at the prospect of bringing them back
to your place anyway. 

 
Be Good,
 
Scot McKay




=====




(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2017.  All Rights Reserved.


This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it.  If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list.