[X&Y] Sick Of Doing All The Work When It Comes To Women? Read This...
Published: Sat, 10/15/11
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
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WHAT'S INSIDE: You're with a woman and she seems to like
you...but it's always YOU who is picking up the phone to call,sending the first text, and the like. Is it still safe to say
she's interested?
And assuming so, how do you take your mutual interest to the next
level?
If you've ever been in a situation like this, Andrew in Denver is
right there with you...
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DOES YOUR GIRLFRIEND (OR FUTURE GIRLFRIEND) REALLY NEED THIS?
OK, so Carlos Xuma has re-released his already infamous Girlfriend
Training Program.
I told you then that it was a nice compliment to The Leading Man
because it digs really deep into some mission-critical relationship
management skills.
But as some of you have already written in to remind me, this is
really an EDGY program...maybe a bit more than you might be used to
from Carlos.
And I have to say, if you haven't read that bit on his Web page
about how women tend to "train" us, it's a REAL EYE OPENER:
Suffice it to say that Carlos IS NOT saying that "two wrongs make a
right". After all, the so-called "Girlfriend Training Program" isn't
at all about becoming a selfish man.
In fact, the irony is that we as men get the most satisfaction out
of being solid PROTECTORS and PROVIDERS for the women in our lives.
It's just that we'd prefer not to be STEAMROLLED in return for our
efforts...you know, like those guys in sitcoms and TV commercials.
Obviously, it's flat-out wrong to think we HAVE to live our lives like
that, and that's the GENIUS of Carlos' new program.
You see, when you get right down to it The Girlfriend Training
program is about GETTING RID of what causes PAIN in relationships,
and giving BOTH you and your woman more GOOD TIMES together.
This is good stuff, and it's worth a serious look--especially since
Carlos just told me the doors are only going to be open for another
48 hours:
By the way, YES INDEED...Carlos interviewed me for one of the bonuses,
and you can look forward to hearing ALL ABOUT what Emily and I do to
keep the "fire burning" both inside AND outside the bedroom.
He got some great original material out of me in that audio for
sure. He's just added some MORE cool bonuses to the mix also,
so I understand.
In fact, here's what I'm going to do just to make it even
sweeter for you. When you get your hands on Carlos' Girlfriend
Training Program using the link in this e-mail, go ahead and
send your receipt to me at:
...and I'll send you a copy of my book Deserve What You Want for
f-r-e-e. If you have DWYW already, no worries...let me know and
I'll send you Cook For Your Date instead. Cool?
By the way, if you already got your copy of "GTP" using a link
in the e-mail I sent you yesterday, you absolutely can send me
your receipt also.
And now, keeping along the lines of being The Man in a relationship,
here's a GREAT question from Andrew in Denver...
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READER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS
Hey Scot,
I don't know if you have time to reply but I have a question.
I recently meet a woman pnline. We started with a few emails
then with an online chat that lasted about an hour and a half.
We talked on the phone twice for a total of about 3 hours.
We have gone out three times, I really like her and honestly I
don't remember the last time I had such a great connection with
someone.
My concern is that it seems to be a little one sided. I really do
think she likes me because when we are together she is very
affectionate towards me, but it seems like when we are not together
I am the only one trying to make contact.
I may call her or send her a "good morning" text or a "how was your
day" text. I have only received one text like that from her, and we
have been talking for over three weeks.
Am I reading too much into it?
Also, is three really great dates enough time to suggest that we
try to make it a little more serious? Or should I just let things
progress naturally? Thanks.
Andrew (Denver, CO)
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Hello Andrew:
Not to worry. Most women are taught to let the man take the lead
when it comes to initiating interaction.
If it really eats at you, go ahead and acknowledge that to her just
to see how she reacts. For example, "I've noticed you're very
traditional...preferring the man take the lead when it comes to
phone calls and things like that."
Bear in mind that you aren't complaining, challenging or worrying.
You're simply stating a fact.
Note especially that you're confidently calling out the "elephant
in the room", like we've talked about before in this newsletter
rather than "running away" from the issue.
If she flat-out hasn't realized that you're doing all the calling
and texting, it may be because that's simply her "unconscious"
habit when relating to men. And if so, that's not unusual for
women who have been raised around "traditional" thinking from a
young age.
Be careful if that's the situation, though. She may launch into a
stream of "I'm sorrys" if she senses you may be displeased. This
tends to be an all but de facto practice among women, doesn't it?
Although saying "I'm sorry" a lot can be a sign of low self-esteem
if it occurs often enough, she may genuinely feel in this scenario
that she's let you down.
On the other hand, she may openly acknowledge that she's indeed
been intentional about waiting for you to contact her first. She
may also be prompted at that point to ask you if you either like it
that way or have a problem with it. But at least you'll have
reassurance that she's indeed like that rather than losing interest
in you.
EITHER WAY she responds, it's important at that point to take the
lead (as she wants you to anyway, Mr. Dumas) and reassure her that
you find her old-fashioned outlook refreshing and that you LIKE it.
And if you get nothing more than "I don't know", or some sort of
hesitation--it's time to watch carefully. Is she just being shy or
is she hemming and hawing over the fact that she really isn't as
sold on you as you think? Watch the rest of her interaction with
you carefully and connect the dots.
But in all likelihood, if you're gut feeling is that she's indeed
attracted to you, she's probably just "old school". You'll be fine.
As for how slow or fast you want to take things from there, you're
the man. You lead. Your reality is manufactured by YOU.
The good news is she'll almost certainly LIKE THAT about you also.
If you are a man who has options and you think this woman is
particularly terrific vis-à-vis others you've considered, then
you'll have plenty of clarity when it comes to making her your
steady girlfriend or not.
But feel free to take your time and enjoy all the steps on the path
to getting to know each other well enough for that.
Remember always: It's when we're desperate to hold on to any woman
who likes us and can fog a mirror that we're in trouble.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
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