[X&Y] 4 "Gut Feelings" About Women You Should Pay Attention To
Published: Mon, 10/17/11
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN
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WHAT'S INSIDE: If you get the sneaking suspicion that something
just isn't right between you and a certain woman you know, youshould probably pay attention. Here are four specific scenarios
that we've ALL found ourselves in...
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"ATTRACTIVE" HUMOR VS. "UNATTRACTIVE" HUMOR
We've all heard that women are attracted to funny guys.
But have you ever noticed that it's not necessarily the funniest
guys with the hottest women?
Meanwhile, there are some legitimately HILARIOUS dudes who are
dateless, right? I'm thinking of some GREAT stand-up guys who
pretty much come off as pathetic rather than attractive even in
the very least...
Well, Zach Browman over at Social Fluency (who I've known for about
a year and a half now) has a pretty sweet (and VERY well done)
presentation that explains the difference between "attractive"
humor, and "unattractive" humor.
Man, he's been talking about getting his thoughts in order for AGES
now, so it's good to see he's FINALLY got this ready for you:
It was well worth the wait. The video breaks down for you the
exact formula for creating this "attractive" kind of humor in any
situation.
There really is something to this. I've never seen anybody break
down exactly how to be the funny guy women love so well.
Go ahead and watch it as soon as you can. He put this back
online as a special favor to me and it won't be available
for very long.
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4 "GUT FEELINGS" ABOUT WOMEN YOU SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO
I wanted to share with you four classic situations when your
instincts might tell you something is awry between you and a
woman you know.
The weird thing is that as much as we hear about "women's
intuition" and so forth, the whole idea of getting a "gut feeling"
about something is decidedly NOT gender specific, is it?
We as guys tend to have our "spidey senses" tuned up every bit as
well as women do.
If you go back through the file cards of your memory you'll soon
figure out that unless you're some sort of chronic worrier, your
instincts have rarely, if EVER, lied to you.
But do we always actually LISTEN to them?
Wow...sometimes we can get so "clouded by beauty vision" that we try
to talk ourselves out of believing what we ALREADY KNOW is the
case. You can just feel it in the pit of your stomach, can't you?
Here are four situations that I'm pretty sure ALL of us as guys
have found ourselves in with women.
In each case, I not only break down what you'll SEE play out before
you, I'll also suggest what very well could be the UNSEEN thoughts
that are going on in her head.
Here goes:
1) She's "Distant"
Because she's a little more "reserved", isn't smiling as much as
usual and/or is easily distracted you get the distinct feeling that
there's SOMETHING weighing heavy on her mind.
When you ask her, "What's wrong?" she may say, "Nothing", but you
know it's SOMETHING.
This whole situation comes in two flavors: "Regular" and "Extra
Hot".
That is, there's either suppressed anger involved or not.
If she seems pretty calm and laid back--or even TOO MUCH so--she
might not have figured out how to talk to you about something
important yet (e.g. pregnancy, STD concerns, she's married, etc.).
Or, she may actually be hiding something from you and is feeling
guilt about it. But she knows that if you find out it's not going
to end well.
She might even have met someone else but is taking a "wait and see"
attitude toward him while she weighs her options. That would
create "distance", no doubt.
But if you sense latent animosity over there, you can bet she's mad
at you for some reason. That's straightforward by comparison.
2) Communication Slows WAY Down
Whenever a woman isn't so quick about returning your calls or
texts, you probably feel like you might be "losing touch" with her.
A slowdown in communication may very well be accompanied by a
decrease in her availability.
For example, she might be "busy" at times she previously would have
jumped at the chance to come over and cook dinner with you, or
whatever.
When you see these signs you might think she's either losing
attraction for you and/or is seeing someone else.
And your thinking would be spot on.
If you've been seeing a woman for a while and this sort of thing
starts happening you can be assured she's AT LEAST contemplating
seeing someone else. He's in the picture, for sure.
3) She Stops Being Affectionate
You might notice that a woman is not as "touchy/feely" with you as
she once was.
Her sex drive may have dropped, which she indeed might have some
verbal excuse for.
But if she's just flat-out not showing you much affection anymore
and is possibly even treating you more like a friend than a lover,
then she's just not "feeling it" for you any more.
She doesn't know how to tell you that though, either because she
first has to convince HERSELF that she won't "snap out of it" or
because you've been so "nice" to her that she dreads breaking your
heart.
4) Her Personality Changes
Sometimes a woman who's been a total sweetheart, or at least fairly
"happy-go-lucky" in the past will rather suddenly switch to being
decidedly edgier toward you and/or easily frustrated with you.
She might demonstrate that she respects you less and/or doesn't
adore you as much.
Assuming that she's mentally healthy, one of two things is
happening.
First, she may feel like YOU'RE not caring as much about HER as you
used to, and she's simply reacting. Remember, women naturally
follow your lead, so check yourself honestly.
But if you've been an "even keel" for the most part, then it's
likely that SOMETHING has caused her level of attraction toward you
to plummet.
Either she's met someone else she'd actually RATHER be seeing--were
she not "stuck" with you--or she's just sick of seeing your face.
If you consider those four factors above honestly, it might occur
to you that you've actually been on both the receiving end AND the
giving end of them all at one point or another.
That's right. One of the main reasons why the "gut feelings" we
get are SO accurate in these cases is because it's not just the
instincts involved that aren't gender-specific. The ACTUAL
SITUATIONS I described aren't either.
So then, knowing that we can trust our intuition, what's the
solution when we find ourselves in a scenario like what I described
above?
Well, in each situation she's clearly avoiding something that NEEDS
to be talked about.
In that case you can stop whatever you're doing and make a firm
suggestion that she bring the issue out into the open.
Assure her you're both rational human beings so it's time to come
clean. The key is to help her feel SAFE and SECURE about
disclosing what's bothering her.
If she knows you'll neither overreact nor judge her, then that will
help immensely.
Then, of course, you've got to make good on keeping your
composure--no matter WHAT comes out of her mouth.
That's easier said than done, I realize. But you're going to have
to strengthen your resolve to be a man of character and remain cool
and collected.
And hey...if you ever find yourself "avoiding the inevitable"
yourself with a woman you've been seeing, why not man up and tell
her what's going on?
She's a big girl and you'll find she can handle it. Plus, you'll
save her from having to endure "gut feelings" of her own.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. If you haven't yet "liked" the Facebook page then you're
missing out on a lot of cool (and sometimes hilarious)
conversation:
There's also a f-r-e-e special report in it for you on how to
reconnect with women from your past on Facebook. It's a quick
read and it's good stuff.
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