[X&Y] A Thanksgiving Thought (And A Cool Thing To Say When Meeting A Woman)
Published: Thu, 11/24/11
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN
=====
A THANKSGIVING THOUGHT (AND A COOL THING TO SAY WHEN MEETING A WOMAN)
First and foremost, I hope all of y'all here in the United States
had a great Thanksgiving so far.
And most definitely, I want you to know that I appreciate YOU.
Thanks for taking the time to read these newsletters.
Believe me, when your success stories hit my inbox it's MORE than
enough motivation to keep the good stuff coming the best I know
how. So you've got my word on that
I'll keep this relatively short today, because I know there's
pumpkin pie to inhale and football to watch.
What I want to share with you before I partake of the same myself,
however, is a practical AND powerful way to start a conversation
with a woman that I sort of stumbled upon.
Yesterday I figured it was time for a haircut, so I went to the
same gal who cuts my hair as usual.
It was late afternoon on the day before a major holiday, and she
had been busy all day.
The simple truth that she was pretty much spent and ready to go
home was written all over her face.
When my turn came, I'm not really sure what prompted me to say
something different than I usually would, but I said, "So...what do
you know that's good?"
She responded with a rather forlorn, "Good? I'm going to have to
think on that one..."
Without really thinking about it I said, "Well, I'm not interested
in hearing anything bad, so out with it."
Gazing upward in a quick moment of thought, she looked back at me
and shrugged. "Tomorrow's Thanksgiving, huh?"
"That's GOOD." I said, probably with a slightly victorious grin on
my face.
The corner of her mouth turned up ever so slightly. She laughed
out loud, in a way that was eerily reminiscent of how women often
laugh right after they've finished crying.
Success...I had "brought out the playful" in her.
Now remember, I can't take a whole lot of credit for this whole
exchange. It just sort of...happened.
But looking back on it, the real VALUE of opening a conversation
with a woman in the manner I just described is that it pretty much
ELIMINATES any reasonable possibility of getting a negative
response in return, doesn't it?
Think of it. If you ask ANY red-blooded human being (female or
otherwise) "what they know that's good" and get a surly, negative
or even insulting answer, what can you IMMEDIATELY conclude?
If you said, "that it's THEM and not ME...for sure", then give
yourself a gold star.
Check it out...just about anyone can find himself or herself in "a
mood" after a long, frustrating day. If you say any old generic
thing to someone in that state, it theoretically might not end well.
But hey...when you matter-of-factly get them on the track of thinking
of what's GOOD, most decent people WILL check themselves before
ripping you a new one verbally.
Anyone but a raging psychopath would feel horrible if they
didn't.
By now you know that I'm not much into memorizing "openers", at
least in the PUA sense. But sure...go ahead and try out the strategy
I just suggested for yourself, and let me know how it goes.
It's simple enough, and when you get right down to it it's not
really about the order of the words or even the "line" itself at
all...it's about the vibe.
Mean and negative people suck, and most people DON'T want to be
downers...whether they think they can help it in the moment or not.
I think the real beauty of asking, "What do you know that's good?"
is that it LEADS in a positive direction, yet in a way that
subcommunicates masculine confidence and character rather than some
sort of Pollyannaish "Mr. Nice Guy" neediness.
What we're talking about here is lightening a woman up AND igniting
her femininity...all in one easy step.
And what do you know? That's good.
Be Good
Scot McKay
P.S. You know, on the subject of the power of positivity vs.
negativity, I've seen an unusual number of scathing,
super-pessimistic and even downright hateful comments directed at
women in general from guys over the past 48 hours or so.
Not necessarily from you guys, mind you. One was in response to an
article I wrote for a website on what women want, another was a
somewhat out-of-the-blue rant in the comments at the end of a
sports story (of all things).
Especially poignant was an email from a guy that was sent to one of
the few female dating coaches out there I know to be REALLY, TRULY
pro-guy. She's given her career to helping guys succeed with
women, and yet this guy basically took out all of his frustrations
and general misogyny on her in a VERY personal and hurtful attack.
This all occurs to me as ironic, given that today is "Thanksgiving".
Guys...listen up. Women are NOT the enemy. On a day like today you
can and should be thankful that there are both Xs and Ys running
around this planet.
Now, if your first inclination was to flip me "the bird" after
reading that last sentence then, hey...I just might have had my
moments in life where I kinda felt the same way. Just sayin'...
But if you really want to snap out of that kind of funk--which I
know as well as you is NO FUN to suffer through--go ahead and think
of it this way: Were it only us guys around here life would be WAY
less interesting, at the very least.
Some may argue against my firmly held belief that women are
hard-wired to admire masculine leadership and WANT to follow it.
And far be it from me to presume I can persuade every guy on Earth
to accept that.
That said, however, I do invite you to consider two shreds of truth
that have been put to the test time and again:
1) I've YET to meet any woman who considers herself feminine,
actually LIKES men AND doesn't agree that a man should lead.
2) You'll never meet a man who hates women, blames them for all of
his problems and/or views his own fortunes with them as "hopeless"
who has a high quality woman by his side. (And I don't use the
word "never" in context like this very often).
If there's any value I can possibly have to you, let it start with
encouraging you to give the women you meet in the future a real,
honest chance to please you...regardless of whatever pain women of
lower character may have handed you in the past.
There are black-hearted people of BOTH genders and those who have
hearts of gold. Whatever the black-hearted ones are up to is NOT
the golden-hearted ones' fault.
You betcha...don't let a woman tell you that "all men are dogs" when
you don't have a collar around your neck and a craving for "Milk
Bones" just yet. And likewise, give the next decent woman you
meet a fair shake.
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2011. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list.
"No games" doesn't only apply to dating around here.
=====
A THANKSGIVING THOUGHT (AND A COOL THING TO SAY WHEN MEETING A WOMAN)
First and foremost, I hope all of y'all here in the United States
had a great Thanksgiving so far.
And most definitely, I want you to know that I appreciate YOU.
Thanks for taking the time to read these newsletters.
Believe me, when your success stories hit my inbox it's MORE than
enough motivation to keep the good stuff coming the best I know
how. So you've got my word on that
I'll keep this relatively short today, because I know there's
pumpkin pie to inhale and football to watch.
What I want to share with you before I partake of the same myself,
however, is a practical AND powerful way to start a conversation
with a woman that I sort of stumbled upon.
Yesterday I figured it was time for a haircut, so I went to the
same gal who cuts my hair as usual.
It was late afternoon on the day before a major holiday, and she
had been busy all day.
The simple truth that she was pretty much spent and ready to go
home was written all over her face.
When my turn came, I'm not really sure what prompted me to say
something different than I usually would, but I said, "So...what do
you know that's good?"
She responded with a rather forlorn, "Good? I'm going to have to
think on that one..."
Without really thinking about it I said, "Well, I'm not interested
in hearing anything bad, so out with it."
Gazing upward in a quick moment of thought, she looked back at me
and shrugged. "Tomorrow's Thanksgiving, huh?"
"That's GOOD." I said, probably with a slightly victorious grin on
my face.
The corner of her mouth turned up ever so slightly. She laughed
out loud, in a way that was eerily reminiscent of how women often
laugh right after they've finished crying.
Success...I had "brought out the playful" in her.
Now remember, I can't take a whole lot of credit for this whole
exchange. It just sort of...happened.
But looking back on it, the real VALUE of opening a conversation
with a woman in the manner I just described is that it pretty much
ELIMINATES any reasonable possibility of getting a negative
response in return, doesn't it?
Think of it. If you ask ANY red-blooded human being (female or
otherwise) "what they know that's good" and get a surly, negative
or even insulting answer, what can you IMMEDIATELY conclude?
If you said, "that it's THEM and not ME...for sure", then give
yourself a gold star.
Check it out...just about anyone can find himself or herself in "a
mood" after a long, frustrating day. If you say any old generic
thing to someone in that state, it theoretically might not end well.
But hey...when you matter-of-factly get them on the track of thinking
of what's GOOD, most decent people WILL check themselves before
ripping you a new one verbally.
Anyone but a raging psychopath would feel horrible if they
didn't.
By now you know that I'm not much into memorizing "openers", at
least in the PUA sense. But sure...go ahead and try out the strategy
I just suggested for yourself, and let me know how it goes.
It's simple enough, and when you get right down to it it's not
really about the order of the words or even the "line" itself at
all...it's about the vibe.
Mean and negative people suck, and most people DON'T want to be
downers...whether they think they can help it in the moment or not.
I think the real beauty of asking, "What do you know that's good?"
is that it LEADS in a positive direction, yet in a way that
subcommunicates masculine confidence and character rather than some
sort of Pollyannaish "Mr. Nice Guy" neediness.
What we're talking about here is lightening a woman up AND igniting
her femininity...all in one easy step.
And what do you know? That's good.
Be Good
Scot McKay
P.S. You know, on the subject of the power of positivity vs.
negativity, I've seen an unusual number of scathing,
super-pessimistic and even downright hateful comments directed at
women in general from guys over the past 48 hours or so.
Not necessarily from you guys, mind you. One was in response to an
article I wrote for a website on what women want, another was a
somewhat out-of-the-blue rant in the comments at the end of a
sports story (of all things).
Especially poignant was an email from a guy that was sent to one of
the few female dating coaches out there I know to be REALLY, TRULY
pro-guy. She's given her career to helping guys succeed with
women, and yet this guy basically took out all of his frustrations
and general misogyny on her in a VERY personal and hurtful attack.
This all occurs to me as ironic, given that today is "Thanksgiving".
Guys...listen up. Women are NOT the enemy. On a day like today you
can and should be thankful that there are both Xs and Ys running
around this planet.
Now, if your first inclination was to flip me "the bird" after
reading that last sentence then, hey...I just might have had my
moments in life where I kinda felt the same way. Just sayin'...
But if you really want to snap out of that kind of funk--which I
know as well as you is NO FUN to suffer through--go ahead and think
of it this way: Were it only us guys around here life would be WAY
less interesting, at the very least.
Some may argue against my firmly held belief that women are
hard-wired to admire masculine leadership and WANT to follow it.
And far be it from me to presume I can persuade every guy on Earth
to accept that.
That said, however, I do invite you to consider two shreds of truth
that have been put to the test time and again:
1) I've YET to meet any woman who considers herself feminine,
actually LIKES men AND doesn't agree that a man should lead.
2) You'll never meet a man who hates women, blames them for all of
his problems and/or views his own fortunes with them as "hopeless"
who has a high quality woman by his side. (And I don't use the
word "never" in context like this very often).
If there's any value I can possibly have to you, let it start with
encouraging you to give the women you meet in the future a real,
honest chance to please you...regardless of whatever pain women of
lower character may have handed you in the past.
There are black-hearted people of BOTH genders and those who have
hearts of gold. Whatever the black-hearted ones are up to is NOT
the golden-hearted ones' fault.
You betcha...don't let a woman tell you that "all men are dogs" when
you don't have a collar around your neck and a craving for "Milk
Bones" just yet. And likewise, give the next decent woman you
meet a fair shake.
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2011. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list.
"No games" doesn't only apply to dating around here.