[X&Y] It Was Supposed To Be "Easy", But It's NOT Working. NOW What?...
Published: Tue, 01/10/12
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN
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IN THIS EDITION: Some businesses believe that if something isn't
working, they should do twice as much of it. Those businesses tendto FAIL ultimately, due to poor management. Find out how that same
principle relates to how you "manage" your journey to getting
better with women...
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SECRETS TO DATING "OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE"...
After you watch this short video webinar...
...you'll discover:
- why guys fall victim to the "she's out of my league" trap
- why certain women actually fall for "jerks"
- 6 questions that will tell you INSTANTLY how sexually
confident you are.
- why guys hide their sexual attraction from women
Chances are you're making one HUGE mistake with women every
day...and this video will reveal THAT to you also.
Watch it here right now:
Now listen...I'm going to tell you up front that this is a bit
"edgier" than what you're used to getting from me, and I'm still
NOT a big fan of the "e" word (which you'll see when you click that
link above.
BUT, I implicitly trust the guy behind this video and the quality
of his information. With that in mind, go ahead and take a look
and draw your own conclusions...
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LETTER FROM A READER: "HOW MANY YEARS DOES IT TAKE?"
Hi Scot, I have enjoyed your free letters ever since I heard you
interviewed by David DeAngelo five years ago.
I have gone out and approached over 10.000 women last year alone
and have done so more or less since my first bootcamp with a guy
called [withheld] in Europe in 2006.
I have written over 10.000 letters to women on online dating using
[withheld]'s material.
I'm 44, a nurse, and studying to become a biologist. Since my
material situation is not great, as a student, and neither is my
looks--I hope it really is as PUAs keep claiming, that lacking the
above will not be a major factor for most women.
I still have to learn how to "kiss-close" a woman even though I
lean in on high notes during interactions and if the woman pulls
back, I wait, and go for it again later again.
I just wonder how many years does it take to get this right,
normally?
Last summer I took another bootcamp at a dating company called
[withheld] and again I was asked to walk up to women and talk to
them. I find that very easy, but from there on I got no
instructions, so again I talked to a lot of people incl. women, but
I never experienced any attraction.
Have you some advice other than keep doing what I'm doing, or is it
just that in the end it really is a numbers game? If so, I must be
pretty close to a breakthrough!
Best regards,
Nigel (Bristol, UK)
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What's up, Nigel? Man, am I ever glad you wrote me.
It sounds like you're ready to end the frustration and find some
real answers.
First of all, let me reassure you that success with women is
certainly not a matter of "trying harder". And I promise you that
attracting high quality women isn't a "numbers game".
Guys who tend to attract women tend to attract MORE women. Guys
who fail to do so continue to fail.
There's more to life than the "pickup", and you will NEVER, EVER
succeed at tricking women into liking you no matter how many more
tens of thousands of times you try what already isn't working.
Similarly, you'll NEVER, EVER be able to cut and paste a woman
who's profile you see online into your life.
I'm sorry you've spent your resources over the past few years on
that sort of stuff, but "kiss closing" isn't the actual
goal...getting control over your dating life and being a "chooser"
is.
And that's true even if you're trying to "get laid"...so bear in mind
I'm absolutely NOT considering lifestyle choice here. What WORKS
when it comes to creating genuine, natural attraction tends to do
so whether you're looking for women for a fling or for a long-term
relationship.
Why? Because women are human beings and they will generally not
respond to PUA tactics any more than anyone with even the slightest
amount of common sense will respond to being "closed" by a cheesy
salesman with a product nobody wants.
If you want a REAL, LIVE woman to adore you, you've got to deserve
what you want.
Pressing the "easy button" in terms of tricks, tactics or "quick
fixes" will AT BEST land you "easy women" (read, women with low
self-esteem and therefore low standards). And even THEN, the
overall "success" rate leaves a lot to be desired.
On the other hand, what's amazing to most guys is that when you
become a man who attracts high quality women, you can actually get
most of the "easy" ones to be intrigued by you also.
If you think about it, that shouldn't really come as too big a
surprise.
It's just that you won't feel particularly compelled to have them
around when the higher quality ones are available to you.
Were you to take just the next three or four months to become the
kind of man women want, it really will take a fraction of the time
that learning and trying all the pickup artist stuff has taken you
thus far.
Isn't that ironic? Searching for the ever "elusive" ultimate trick
with women is almost ALWAYS more time-consuming than becoming a
BETTER MAN who attracts BETTER WOMEN as a direct result.
And if for some reason that logic doesn't compute, look at it this
way.
You're in your mid forties--an age where people of late teens to
early-twenties should be able to look up to you as a father figure.
Moreover, you're in a profession where caring about human beings is the primary goal. Why not stay true to yourself here and be that
same kind of LEADER and PROTECTOR when in the company of women who
attract you?
It'll be attractive to them also...trumping your looks and/or
financial condition--WHATEVER that condition is, for what it's
worth, favorable or otherwise.
You wouldn't seek to "close" people who look up to you or who come
to you for care, so why treat the women in your life with any less
respect? After all, any one of them just might become VERY, VERY
important to you someday, right?
It's always, always, ALWAYS (times infinity) better to be an
authentic "big four" man who is confident, masculine as women
define it, able to make a woman feel safe and comfortable and--best
of all--has strong character that qualifies you for a healthy,
happy long-term relationship.
And believe me, even if you really don't want a serious
relationship with a woman right now, you may some day. It's also
very, very nice to be able to CHOOSE not only which women you want,
but what kind of relationship you'd like to have with them.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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