[X&Y] The Myth Of The "Cold Approach"
Published: Tue, 01/31/12
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN
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IN THIS EDITION: Want to stop supermodels on the street? Want
to get women to make out with you in under a minute? Read thisfirst...
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WIN OR LOSE WITH WOMEN...WHAT'LL IT BE?
Pretty much across the board, none of us as men really want to be
considered wimps.
After all, when you wimp out you tend to LOSE in life. And the
only thing worse than being a wimp is being a loser.
We all instinctively know how important it is to our social lives,
to our careers and--yes--to our level of success with high quality
women that we CRUSH fear.
Guys who watch "safely" from the sidelines are never actually IN
the game, are they?
Success only happens when we GO FOR IT. And when you get right
down to it, fear is exactly what makes us BACK OFF when we should
be GOING FORWARD and taking what we want...life, adventure, love and
happiness.
If you didn't see this yesterday, it's called "Fearless":
Christian Hudson and Nick Sparks over at The Social Man are so
on-point with this program that to say you should take an honest
look at it would be an understatement. I'd recommend digging into
it immediately and devouring every bite.
Over half of the copies they have available are sold out (and no
kidding, YOU guys alone have snapped up a bunch of them) so time is
of the essence here.
If you're ready to put fear in the rear view mirror and finally be
the bold, courageous man women really want then here's the link:
Remember, after you get your copy using the link above, e-mail me
at scot@deservewhatyouwant.com and let me know which special bonus
you'd like from me. You can select The Difference, The Man's Approach
or even a 30-minute 1-on-1 call with me personally. =====
THE MYTH OF THE "COLD APPROACH"
Being a perfectly normal guy, I'm going to openly admit to
something. See if you're with me on this.
I have no patience for learning "fundamentals".
Never mind that Tim Duncan is arguably the best power forward in
the history of the NBA...all because he's a master of the basics.
Sure, you'll see him bank a shot off the glass 25 times for every
slam dunk.
But because of the way we as guys are, you'll NEVER see him in a
national television commercial.
That's right. We want to skip straight to the flashy stuff. The
stuff that impresses everyone else. You know, the HARD stuff.
It's so true, isn't it?
Man, when I first was learning how to play guitar my first impulse
was to memorize "Stairway To Heaven" rather than practice boring
scales or even chords.
And for me, it was all about saving my pennies until I had enough
to plunk down for that "fireglo" red Rickenbacker 360...sweet!
Similarly, back in school when my buddies and I practiced lacrosse
together we spent 95% of our time winging sidearm shots at the
net...a skill that I'm not sure any of us ever actually used in a
game more than three or four times all season.
And don't even get me started about how having the baddest ass BMX
bike in the neighborhood was all that mattered to a 14 year-old kid
back in 1983.
I still remember that one kid's baby blue "PK Ripper". Sucker.
Never mind the fact that I hadn't even raced my first actual race
yet...I wanted one!
As adults, nothing really changes does it?
The truck has to be 4x4...even if it never snows around here. And if
you think I'm going to go tear that thing up climbing rocks or
screw it over with a bunch of mud you've got to be kidding.
You get the point.
So what about meeting women?
Again...it's the EXACT same deal. Screw the "fundamentals". We want
to fall off the "newbie" cart and jump right into, oh...stopping a
supermodel while she's walking down 5th Avenue in Manhattan. In
the other direction. At rush hour. When we're originally from
rural Bolivia.
Imagine how often I'm asked how to do that by guys who haven't
actually been on a date in ages. If you're imagining "a lot", then
you're on target.
Other variations on the theme tend to go like this.
"Heya, Scot. How do I approach a group of a dozen fantastically
sexy women on 'girl's night out'? When they're drunk? And in
Vegas?"
"Scot, man. Let's say I see a woman who's with her billionaire
A-list celebrity boyfriend--no, make that HUSBAND. How do I steal
her away from him and get her to leave with ME instead?"
And let's not forget this classic...
"Dude. How can I skip the whole 'dating' thing and just get women
to make out with me a within a minute of me meeting them?"
Let's get real here. It's time for me to openly admit to a few
more things here in addition to that bit about not really being
excited by "fundamentals".
I was a crappy on guitar until I actually learned how to play one.
When I buckled down, ran a couple of miles a day and actually did
ground ball drills I became a much better lacrosse player.
After ultimately getting on a race track with my BMX bike, I
actually went SLOWER when I got the frame/fork combo of my dreams.
And here's the clincher. I'm not sure I've EVER actually stopped a
supermodel on 5th avenue or approached a dozen drunk women in
Vegas...let alone stolen an A-list actor's wife.
What's more, had I spent all my time up until now focusing on doing
those sort of things, I'd probably STILL be single. Heck, I'd
still be DATELESS.
Let me say it out loud: "Cold approaches" are completely, fully
UNNECESSARY. If you want to learn how to do them, fine. But how
about getting "warm approaches" down first?
Every day you have the opportunity to talk to women. At school,
while shopping, while getting coffee...everywhere. Some of those
women are actually approaching YOU first.
Believe me when I tell you that it's in THOSE situations that
you'll meet the most amazing women ever.
You don't even actually need to leave your home. Nowadays we have
the Internet, and I can assure you it's not a fad.
When I mastered the relatively "mundane" arts of online dating and
meeting women everywhere I went (usually one at a time), it was
amazing how many friendly, smiley and particularly sexy cuties
entered my life.
The bottom line here, gentlemen, is that stopping supermodels on
the street might be a really cool skill to impress your buddies
with.
But ultimately, it's a much better and more fulfilling deal to
actually HAVE a real, live woman or three in your life.
They might not drop everything and make out with you thirty seconds
after they meet you, but they'll get around to it sooner than
later. I promise.
Similarly, if you're stumbling around trying to figure out "what to
do" when you're actually AT the bank in FRONT OF a smiling cutie
who's depositing your money for you, then all the knowledge about
"boyfriend destroyer game" in the world isn't going to help you.
Drop the quest for flashy tricks and work instead on YOURSELF.
That's the ultimate "fundamental" strategy, I know. But hey...it's a
darned good one that WORKS.
Becoming a "big four" man takes far less time overall than you
think. Be confident, masculine in the way women define it, make
women feel comfortable in your presence and show some character.
Start making conversation even with woman bagging your groceries at
the supermarket who isn't necessarily a supermodel and work from
there.
Watch how women literally LIGHT UP like Christmas trees when a "big
four" man acknowledges their presence. They follow your lead and
acknowledge YOUR presence as well.
In other words, do SOMETHING.
Because here's the thing: I'm actually convinced that when it
comes to meeting women and creating attraction, one of the BIGGEST
reasons why guys avoid the "fundamentals" is because they're
ACTUALLY avoiding meeting women altogether.
Spending time trying to master the world's hardest, most daunting
approach situation is a great way to make sure you never actually
have to try anything BASIC. Think about it...
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. By the way, every single bit of what's in today's newsletter
comes down again to... (wait for it) ...being fearless:
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