[X&Y] What To Do If She "Hijacks" Your Plan (Or, "Where's That Crowbar When I Need It?")
Published: Sun, 02/05/12
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN
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IN THIS EDITION: You've met a woman, but she isn't exactly
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WHAT TO DO WHEN SHE "HIJACKS" YOUR PLAN (OR, "WHERE'S THAT
CROWBAR WHEN I NEED IT?")
Hi Scot,
I've read some of the advice tips on the site about the importance
of being independent and inspiring women to feel comfortable in the
presence of confident guys. Here's a situation I'd like to tell you
about: there is a woman who I met recently.
We talked for a few minutes and exchanged email addresses with each
other. It was all casual and I didn't even suggest that I'm
interested in her romantically. I'd like to get to know her start
on a friendship level and see what can happen.
So I emailed her the following day and told her that if she'd like
to meet me sometime for friendly conversation I spend a couple of
hours during the afternoon at a social club.
She emailed me back a few HOURS later and said that she'd like to
meet me because it turns out that she goes to that same place
everyday, too (although we had never seen each other there before).
She asked me what she should do. Then she asked me for my phone
number and told me that she goes to that place almost every day
when she's not working.
So what I'm wondering is: is this lady asking for my phone number
because she wants to know if I have a phone? She already knows I
have email because we exchanged addresses after that first time we
met only a day earlier.
What do you think could be a reason why she's asking me for my
phone number?
I'm wanting to start off as a friend to this woman and see what
happens.
Thanks,
Joseph (Parts Unknown)
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Hey, Joseph. Thanks for writing.
First of all, I could send this email to any of millions of
desperate men everywhere who would love to have a "problem" like
yours.
99% of these men would automatically understand her response to
you as a clear sign of interest. And they'd be correct.
The natural progression from exchanging email addresses is to take
things to the telephone. The natural progression from there is to
meet in person.
This particular woman's interest level in you is high enough that
she is sending you such blatant hints of her desire for BOTH that
only a crowbar upside your head might be more obvious.
Note I said "might".
So let's first go over what you did that was GREAT:
1) First of all, you nutted up and ask for her contact info.
You're ahead of most men there already. Great job.
2) Second, you e-mailed a woman you sense has interest in you the
following day. I believe artificial "waiting periods" represent
the kind of "game playing" people hate.
3) Third, you called her to action. (i.e. meeting you at the
social club)
Here's where you'll do better in the future:
1) You'll understand that email --> phone --> live meeting is the
natural progression. You skipped a step and she's bringing you
back around, understandably.
2) You'll realize that any positive response from a woman is just
that...it's GOOD. She is asking for your phone number because she
wants to MOVE THINGS FORWARD...and,...
3) ...you'll figure out that women LOVE LOVE LOVE men who LEAD.
She is asking you "what she should do" because she wants YOU to be
the man here and LEAD. This is a "Chick Whispering" basic.
Women want you to wear the pants, and will hint at what they want
you to ASK them rather than asking first.
See how that works? And don't you just LOVE LOVE LOVE women who
look at you adoringly when you are their Superhero who knows how to
be a LEADER? Of course you do.
That all brings me to the final, and perhaps most overarching
thought. You talk about "friends first". You do realize that this
is almost always a MYTH unless you are clearly in the driver's seat
of leadership, right?
By this I mean that women typically find it very, very hard to move
a man from "just friends" to "lover".
Either you are causing her erotic synapses to fire up like high-
octane race fuel from the beginning or you are doomed to being a
"tea party guest".
And hey, Earl Grey might have a "nice" aroma but there's just
something about the scent of 2-stroke race gas fumes that satisfies.
I hope you haven't been brainwashed by the same cult that had me
duped me back in the day.
You know the one. They preach that "all male behavior is bad
behavior" and that "showing romantic interest in a woman is
offensive to them."
Unless you really do remain unconvinced that you are ready to blow
up the chemistry lab with this chick, you need to get in front of
her and FLIRT, my man! (You know, like we talked about last time.)
She'll LOVE LOVE LOVE you for it.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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