[X&Y] "I Really Like Her...So I Should BREAK UP With Her, Right?" <-- Reader Question
Published: Tue, 02/07/12
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN
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IN THIS EDITION: How about we completely re-arrange some
established "pickup" advice? =====
FULL DISCLOSURE: IT'S TIME SHE GAVE YOU INCREDIBLE PLEASURE
Before I even go here, know this: I resisted telling you about
this for nearly two weeks.
After all, for starters you weren't even supposed to KNOW about it.
It was supposed to be some sort of secret, clandestine thing for
MOTOS only.
But then about an hour ago I heard that some sexpert I've never
really even met before finally broke down and told his list of guys
that they should get a load of it anyway...you know, just for the
heck of it.
That's when everything anyone could have ever predicted went OUT
THE WINDOW.
You see, ONE THOUSAND (that's a 1 followed by three zeroes) of his
readers scarfed up a copy of this thing like it was "free beer
night" at a Philadelphia Flyers game:
Don't get me wrong. I think Michael Webb is a mad genius, and I've
gladly told you about his other great programs in the past.
But THIS? Well, let's just say THIS is completely different. And
it's a little bit surprising how wildly popular it is, at least on
the surface.
Even as I write this, however, I think I'm actually starting to see
the light. In fact, you know what? It think I really GET IT.
Check it out... You know how much talk there is about "giving women
incredible pleasure" from guys like David Shade?
That's cool. But maybe it's time we taught WOMEN how to give US
incredible pleasure also, huh?
But the problem is we friggin' don't know how to get the ball
rolling in that department, do we?
We smile and pretend to enjoy the mayhem as some poor girl bites
her lower lip and tries to yank us a new one like it's a tug-o-war.
STOP a second. Isn't EVERYONE supposed to enjoy "bedroom time",
given how much we fantasize about it ahead of time?
Aha...therein lies the genius of THIS:
Your first thought when you see what's behind that link above might
be to "gift" it to your favorite woman (or three)...especially if she
thinks "jerking your chain" is erotic. And that might be a nice
way to go.
BUT...think again. You can be one level more creative than that.
The REAL power of investing in this little MIRACLE WORKER of a deal
(and Michael should charge a LOT more for this, by the way) is that
you'll be an absolute MASTER at enabling women to drive you stark,
raving CRAZY in bed.
You know they really want to, don't you? They want to satisfy you
the right way EVERY BIT as much as you want to satisfy them.
But they need to KNOW HOW. And finally you'll give them the
expertise they want and need.
What's more, though, is that you'll ALSO have naughty new ideas for
them to that end that NEITHER they OR you had ever thought of yet:
If you get your hands on this it WILL end well for you...I promise.
So let's just leave it at that.
(But hey, if you find yourself thinking maybe she should at least
KISS you first also, here's another handy resource.)
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WHEN YOU FIND A GREAT WOMEN YOU LIKE MORE THAN ALL OTHERS AND WHO LIKES YOU BACK, DO WHAT ANY SELF-RESPECTING PUA WOULD DO: BREAK UP WITH HER (?!)
Hi Scot,
I've got a question.
I'm currently "casually" seeing a girl from home. I go to college
in a different place to her so I only really see her at the
weekends. Although we are not exclusive, since I've been with her I
find that I'm not really interested in any other girls.
There are a few problems with this because I know the wisdom in not
putting my eggs all in one basket.
I am wondering what to do because I am also finding my confidence
reduced and my insecurity about this situation increased--although
I know enough not to act needy or anything like that, even if I'm
feeling it.
I think from her end, she probably thinks that everything is fine
and casual. But do you think I should end this relationship if it's
causing internal (and imagined) distress even if I like her and she
likes me?
It's probably not far off from being "one-itis" (shudder LOL), but
the thing is she likes me too.
If I am to end it I would want to do so in as masculine a way as
possible, if that is possible.
How would that even be done? There can be no reason to end a
decidedly good situation except for me wussing out! That throws
masculinity out the window LOL.
Anyway, I'd appreciate any advice you'd have.
Cheers,
Gordon (Belfast, Northern Ireland)
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OK, thanks for bringing up a great topic, Gordon.
Here we arrive at an issue I see A LOT based on some very
simplistic teaching out there designed specifically for men who are
at the absolute baseline level in terms of developing skills with
women.
Unfortunately, the objectively basic "paint by numbers" approach of
teaching beginners how not to screw up with women leaves very
little grey area (as does "paint by numbers" in real life, I
suppose).
As such, the teaching includes such pearls of wisdom as "avoid
one-itis", "don't give your power away to women", and/or as you
mentioned "don't put your eggs in one basket".
All of this is nice entry-level advice if you are a supplicative
wussy-boy who tends to fall in "love" with anyone female who
actually likes him and can fog a mirror.
The problem arises when we continue to abide by these sort of
"rules" once we actually start SUCCEEDING at attracting high
quality women\.
What happens then? A guy like your or me meets a woman we like
very much--far more than the others we've dated. And she likes us
back...a lot.
But based on what we've been taught back at the beginning, our
first impulse is to panic...thinking we'd better BREAK UP WITH HER.
This is the part where somebody scratches the needle across the
record while the music's playing...bringing it all to an abrupt
stop with a "WHAAAT?"
If she lives in your hometown and you see her every weekend I'm
hard pressed to call this a long-distance relationship, so I think
you should be GLAD you've found a woman you can potentially keep
around long-term.
And she apparently likes you back. THIS IS NOT A BAD THING. In
fact, this is what most guys DREAM OF, isn't it?
I mean, going to college and experiencing the feeling that the only
woman you really want is the one YOU HAVE? That's about as good as
it gets, and ALMOST NO GUYS ever get to have that in their lives.
Why am I so sure about what I'm saying?
Many years ago I was in your situation almost exactly. Instead of
manning up, I BROKE UP WITH HER because my own weakness/jealousy
pissed me off.
Not only did some other guy snag her up literally THE DAY AFTER we
broke up, he married her. And last I checked in the "alumni news"
section she was still married to him with three kids.
That was a great woman...and I screwed up.
So when I met Emily two years ago, you can bet I didn't make the
same mistake. I let all the other women in my life go--BY CHOICE,
importantly--and have not looked back.
After all, I dated enough to know what I wanted. And when she
showed up, I suddenly didn't have room in my schedule for the
other women I had been dating.
This is all about having 100% CONTROL over your dating life and
having the FREEDOM to make the decisions YOU want to make...when and
only when the time is right by YOUR own standards.
Quote: "There can be no reason to end a decidedly good situation
except for me wussing out!"
So thereby you have my support for an answer you've already
provided to your own question.
You don't sound like a man who is weak. You sound like a man who
is hypersensitive about LOOKING weak. Fair enough.
Why not LEAD as a man, then, and go make sure you deserve what you
want from your relationship with this woman and make it happen?
If it ultimately doesn't work out, you at least exercised an option
that was YOURS.
And my guess is that you'll be strong enough a relationship manager
to continue making long-term decisions from a position of strength
whether it's within the context of a long-term exclusive
relationship with this woman of yours OR when the time comes to
eventually break up with her for good reason.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. I just heard on the radio that it's "free communication
weekend" on eHarmedMe or something. Whatever you do, SKIP IT
and choose your own women on Match.com or Plenty Of Fish
instead. Just sayin'.
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