[X&Y] How To Get What You Want Without Feeling Selfish
Published: Mon, 04/09/12
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN
=====
IN THIS EDITION: Nobody wants to be categorized as "selfish".
Yet, the only way to get the success with MOTOS (Members Of The
Opposite Sex) we envision for ourselves is to actively go make it
happen.
Nobody is going to altruistically bestow wild success upon us on
our behalf, when you get right down to it. Find out how to get
what you want in a way that actually creates attraction AND
promotes admiration.
=====
DRUNK WOMEN REVEAL THE "UGLY" TRUTH
Man, if I only had a dollar every time I got an email that asked
me if "looks matter" to women.
Listen, the truth is, the only things that matter with women are
the things you CAN CONTROL
In fact, it's really the gold standard on what we're judged on.
And I know you've heard time and time again that:
"Looks don't matter"
But then again, it's all in how you define "looks".
Here's something to note.
My buddy Brad Howard of "Adonis Effect" fame showed me a bit of
research not too long ago where women were asked to judge the
faces of men and rate them "hot" or "not".
They actually got the women DRUNK in one part of the test.
Do you know what they found?
Faces rated as looking the most CONFIDENT were rated as "hottest".
Interesting, huh?
Now, one of the things my friend Brad was showing me is that
getting your body in ridiculous shape has awesome INDIRECT effects.
In other words, effects on your RAW confidence and self worth
(which most people suffer from low levels of).
However, did you know that there's also a SHAPE that women are
HARDWIRED to be attracted to as well?
It's all in this fully referenced book that you can choose to
download right here:
www.scotrecommends.com/bradhoward
Inside you'll discover tons of previously unreleased secrets on the
human body as well as what the optimum proportions are for a body
that makes women swoon, and how to get there using simple
strategies.
These guys have figured out a different way to approach it all.
These ratios trigger deep, dormant and subconscious attraction
mechanisms in women.
Understand this and she won't be able to keep her hands off of you.
(Actually, the more a woman is thinking about sex, the more
powerful the effect.)
Go here and see if this is up your alley:
www.scotrecommends.com/bradhoward
Again, this download isn't for everyone, but for the right person
it can be a complete eye opener.
By the way, if you think you're UGLY, I'd like to you to re-read it
a few times and let it sink in.
It is, and always will be the things that you CAN control that
truly matter.
Give this cool resource a read, and stack even MORE chips in your
favor.
=====
HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT WITHOUT FEELING SELFISH
I gave serious thought to naming this "The Selfish Man's Guide To
Success With Women". After all, that's really a fitting title.
But the problem is that nobody wants to be cast as "selfish", do
they? Of course not. Yet, the truth is that if you didn't spend
considerable time attending to your own needs and wants, you would
be in no condition to make a philanthropic dent on society, would
you?
Anyone who has ever bought a commercial airline ticket and used it
has heard a flight attendant's pitch to deploy one's own oxygen
mask before assisting the younguns. Oh yeah, and "breathe
normally" while doing so, will you?
Even Mother Theresa was really doing what she most wanted to in
life. And she also fed her own face every once in a while too, I'm
sure.
What I'm getting at here is that I've been hearing a lot from guys
lately who are having a common problem. Essentially, the issue
seems to surround wanting to "not break any rules", "stay socially
acceptable", "fit in with the crowd", and so forth.
And what's happening is that these guys end up standing passively by
while OTHER GUYS come for the women they have their eye on (or even
the ones they LIVE with).
Yet, they are averse to trying to push the envelope a bit because
that would be too...uh..."forward", or something.
Meanwhile, at that last speed dating event, six of these guys were
probably standing around before things got rolling chit-chatting
amongst themselves about this exact topic while the seventh guy was
already leaving with the one attractive woman who showed up.
Isn't stuff like that against the "speed dating rules of etiquette"?
I mean, how rude and selfish of guys like that to come around and
assert themselves with all the particularly sharp women, huh?
OK, guys...here it is: It's time to stop being a martyr. You're not
being benevolent and unselfish by neglecting to assert your alpha
position in deserving the greatest women.
And guess what, you're not doing any favors for the women you
persist in "settling for" either.
What you ARE doing is FAILING TO DEPLOY.
You're not only keeping your self from success in the name of being
"Mr. Nice Guy", you are stealing opportunity from great women
everywhere.
In your heart, don't you feel a twinge of frustration knowing that
certain fantastic women out there would be better off with you than
the mediocre guys they themselves have been "settling" for lately?
There's no doubt about it in your mind, yet you still refuse to
impose your will.
That would be selfish. Or possibly confused with appearing too
"needy". Or something like that.
Now before you get too animated, you know me well enough by now to
know that I'm not talking about stealing people's spouses or
anything else that's from the "dark side".
It's just that it's time to reframe this notion of what "selfishness"
really means and how it can become a scapegoat for artificially
limiting ourselves.
We all know that manipulation is to be avoided. Most of us
understand that manipulators, by definition, operate purely from a
motive of getting as much of what they want from others with as
little personal investment as possible.
Under the guise of friendship and an umbrella of flattery, the
manipulator guilt-trips an unwitting subject into handing over
personal favors and perhaps even physical items of far greater
worth than what has been extended.
Yeah, that's pretty selfish stuff. And once exposed for what it
is, manipulative patterns and the purveyors thereof tend to be
summarily looked down upon with disdain by society.
And last I checked, "society" was made up of roughly 50% women.
Contrast that entire concept with AMBITION. One who is ambitious
could be described as knowing what he or she wants, and having the
confidence and the plan to transform goals into realities.
If true to their focus, such individuals tend to go on to become
CEOs, heads of state, cancer survivors and/or perennial all-star
point guards.
We love stories of ambition and those who author them. And we love
watching ambitious people succeed--especially when the odds are
against them.
But make no mistake: Ambition is still all about an individual and
his or her personal desires.
So what gives? Selfishness? Manipulation? Ambition? What's the
difference?
First of all, in order to break free from backing off from the kind
of women we want to deserve (or the career, adventures, friends,
etc. for that matter), we have to stop using "selfishness" as an
excuse to cover up what's actually pure fear in most cases.
Social martyrdom is typically nothing more than a cover-up for
insecurity and flat-out worry.
manipulation is the low-road because therein selfishness exists in
a vacuum. We're talking absolutely zero concern for the needs and
welfare of others.
It's ALL taking, all the time. What's more, the manipulator
betrays a common knowledge of right vs. wrong by
attempting to mask intentions.
Meanwhile, ambition leaves room for others to come along for the
ride to success. Implied is an over-arching goal to make sure
one's life MATTERS.
Also implied is the desire to succeed in a way so as to make the
world a better place in a way only he or she uniquely can.
Sure, there can be a fine line. Some people can become somewhat
destructively selfish in the name of ambition, most definitely.
For example, Lance Armstrong's particular brand of ambition
conquered cancer and enabled surreal athletic achievements. But it
also has repeatedly steamrolled anyone close to him.
Ultimately, it comes down to this: Manipulation drives great women
away because it is ultimately rooted in sniveling weakness.
Ambition, on the other hand represents the direct approach.
He who is ambitious openly states his intentions in broad daylight
and exerts the power and leadership to reach goals.
And ambition, therefore, is extraordinarily attractive to women.
Ambition, simply put, transcends "selfishness" by directing one's
vision for success in a path that leads to great things. Others
want to be in on that. And make no mistake, great achievements are
predicated upon it.
Leadership, confidence, having a plan for success. That's pretty
much what women want out of a man. And that's why guys who break
the speed dating rules (for example) get the girl.
Sure, they put their needs ahead of others...but not ahead of the
women they choose to invite into their lives.
So where do you stand? Are you watching from the sidelines so as
not to "impose" on anyone?
If so, I fully understand how unraveling all of what we're talking
about here can be a real challenge. I've been there. But I know
there are real solutions to getting where you want to be.
For sure, there are no "quick fixes" or "band-aids". But, the
great news is that it can all happen for you much, much sooner than
you think.
Are you ready for a character-based approach to attracting great
women that does away with manipulation and trickery once and for
all?
I'm all about grooming you for unimaginable success with the highest
echelon of women through genuine masculine strength, dignified
integrity and personal power.
All you need are the right tools...and the ambition to take action.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list.
"No games" doesn't only apply to dating around here.
=====
IN THIS EDITION: Nobody wants to be categorized as "selfish".
Yet, the only way to get the success with MOTOS (Members Of The
Opposite Sex) we envision for ourselves is to actively go make it
happen.
Nobody is going to altruistically bestow wild success upon us on
our behalf, when you get right down to it. Find out how to get
what you want in a way that actually creates attraction AND
promotes admiration.
=====
DRUNK WOMEN REVEAL THE "UGLY" TRUTH
Man, if I only had a dollar every time I got an email that asked
me if "looks matter" to women.
Listen, the truth is, the only things that matter with women are
the things you CAN CONTROL
In fact, it's really the gold standard on what we're judged on.
And I know you've heard time and time again that:
"Looks don't matter"
But then again, it's all in how you define "looks".
Here's something to note.
My buddy Brad Howard of "Adonis Effect" fame showed me a bit of
research not too long ago where women were asked to judge the
faces of men and rate them "hot" or "not".
They actually got the women DRUNK in one part of the test.
Do you know what they found?
Faces rated as looking the most CONFIDENT were rated as "hottest".
Interesting, huh?
Now, one of the things my friend Brad was showing me is that
getting your body in ridiculous shape has awesome INDIRECT effects.
In other words, effects on your RAW confidence and self worth
(which most people suffer from low levels of).
However, did you know that there's also a SHAPE that women are
HARDWIRED to be attracted to as well?
It's all in this fully referenced book that you can choose to
download right here:
www.scotrecommends.com/bradhoward
Inside you'll discover tons of previously unreleased secrets on the
human body as well as what the optimum proportions are for a body
that makes women swoon, and how to get there using simple
strategies.
These guys have figured out a different way to approach it all.
These ratios trigger deep, dormant and subconscious attraction
mechanisms in women.
Understand this and she won't be able to keep her hands off of you.
(Actually, the more a woman is thinking about sex, the more
powerful the effect.)
Go here and see if this is up your alley:
www.scotrecommends.com/bradhoward
Again, this download isn't for everyone, but for the right person
it can be a complete eye opener.
By the way, if you think you're UGLY, I'd like to you to re-read it
a few times and let it sink in.
It is, and always will be the things that you CAN control that
truly matter.
Give this cool resource a read, and stack even MORE chips in your
favor.
=====
HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT WITHOUT FEELING SELFISH
I gave serious thought to naming this "The Selfish Man's Guide To
Success With Women". After all, that's really a fitting title.
But the problem is that nobody wants to be cast as "selfish", do
they? Of course not. Yet, the truth is that if you didn't spend
considerable time attending to your own needs and wants, you would
be in no condition to make a philanthropic dent on society, would
you?
Anyone who has ever bought a commercial airline ticket and used it
has heard a flight attendant's pitch to deploy one's own oxygen
mask before assisting the younguns. Oh yeah, and "breathe
normally" while doing so, will you?
Even Mother Theresa was really doing what she most wanted to in
life. And she also fed her own face every once in a while too, I'm
sure.
What I'm getting at here is that I've been hearing a lot from guys
lately who are having a common problem. Essentially, the issue
seems to surround wanting to "not break any rules", "stay socially
acceptable", "fit in with the crowd", and so forth.
And what's happening is that these guys end up standing passively by
while OTHER GUYS come for the women they have their eye on (or even
the ones they LIVE with).
Yet, they are averse to trying to push the envelope a bit because
that would be too...uh..."forward", or something.
Meanwhile, at that last speed dating event, six of these guys were
probably standing around before things got rolling chit-chatting
amongst themselves about this exact topic while the seventh guy was
already leaving with the one attractive woman who showed up.
Isn't stuff like that against the "speed dating rules of etiquette"?
I mean, how rude and selfish of guys like that to come around and
assert themselves with all the particularly sharp women, huh?
OK, guys...here it is: It's time to stop being a martyr. You're not
being benevolent and unselfish by neglecting to assert your alpha
position in deserving the greatest women.
And guess what, you're not doing any favors for the women you
persist in "settling for" either.
What you ARE doing is FAILING TO DEPLOY.
You're not only keeping your self from success in the name of being
"Mr. Nice Guy", you are stealing opportunity from great women
everywhere.
In your heart, don't you feel a twinge of frustration knowing that
certain fantastic women out there would be better off with you than
the mediocre guys they themselves have been "settling" for lately?
There's no doubt about it in your mind, yet you still refuse to
impose your will.
That would be selfish. Or possibly confused with appearing too
"needy". Or something like that.
Now before you get too animated, you know me well enough by now to
know that I'm not talking about stealing people's spouses or
anything else that's from the "dark side".
It's just that it's time to reframe this notion of what "selfishness"
really means and how it can become a scapegoat for artificially
limiting ourselves.
We all know that manipulation is to be avoided. Most of us
understand that manipulators, by definition, operate purely from a
motive of getting as much of what they want from others with as
little personal investment as possible.
Under the guise of friendship and an umbrella of flattery, the
manipulator guilt-trips an unwitting subject into handing over
personal favors and perhaps even physical items of far greater
worth than what has been extended.
Yeah, that's pretty selfish stuff. And once exposed for what it
is, manipulative patterns and the purveyors thereof tend to be
summarily looked down upon with disdain by society.
And last I checked, "society" was made up of roughly 50% women.
Contrast that entire concept with AMBITION. One who is ambitious
could be described as knowing what he or she wants, and having the
confidence and the plan to transform goals into realities.
If true to their focus, such individuals tend to go on to become
CEOs, heads of state, cancer survivors and/or perennial all-star
point guards.
We love stories of ambition and those who author them. And we love
watching ambitious people succeed--especially when the odds are
against them.
But make no mistake: Ambition is still all about an individual and
his or her personal desires.
So what gives? Selfishness? Manipulation? Ambition? What's the
difference?
First of all, in order to break free from backing off from the kind
of women we want to deserve (or the career, adventures, friends,
etc. for that matter), we have to stop using "selfishness" as an
excuse to cover up what's actually pure fear in most cases.
Social martyrdom is typically nothing more than a cover-up for
insecurity and flat-out worry.
manipulation is the low-road because therein selfishness exists in
a vacuum. We're talking absolutely zero concern for the needs and
welfare of others.
It's ALL taking, all the time. What's more, the manipulator
betrays a common knowledge of right vs. wrong by
attempting to mask intentions.
Meanwhile, ambition leaves room for others to come along for the
ride to success. Implied is an over-arching goal to make sure
one's life MATTERS.
Also implied is the desire to succeed in a way so as to make the
world a better place in a way only he or she uniquely can.
Sure, there can be a fine line. Some people can become somewhat
destructively selfish in the name of ambition, most definitely.
For example, Lance Armstrong's particular brand of ambition
conquered cancer and enabled surreal athletic achievements. But it
also has repeatedly steamrolled anyone close to him.
Ultimately, it comes down to this: Manipulation drives great women
away because it is ultimately rooted in sniveling weakness.
Ambition, on the other hand represents the direct approach.
He who is ambitious openly states his intentions in broad daylight
and exerts the power and leadership to reach goals.
And ambition, therefore, is extraordinarily attractive to women.
Ambition, simply put, transcends "selfishness" by directing one's
vision for success in a path that leads to great things. Others
want to be in on that. And make no mistake, great achievements are
predicated upon it.
Leadership, confidence, having a plan for success. That's pretty
much what women want out of a man. And that's why guys who break
the speed dating rules (for example) get the girl.
Sure, they put their needs ahead of others...but not ahead of the
women they choose to invite into their lives.
So where do you stand? Are you watching from the sidelines so as
not to "impose" on anyone?
If so, I fully understand how unraveling all of what we're talking
about here can be a real challenge. I've been there. But I know
there are real solutions to getting where you want to be.
For sure, there are no "quick fixes" or "band-aids". But, the
great news is that it can all happen for you much, much sooner than
you think.
Are you ready for a character-based approach to attracting great
women that does away with manipulation and trickery once and for
all?
I'm all about grooming you for unimaginable success with the highest
echelon of women through genuine masculine strength, dignified
integrity and personal power.
All you need are the right tools...and the ambition to take action.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list.
"No games" doesn't only apply to dating around here.