[X&Y] The 5-Step, Room-By-Room Guide To Setting Up Your Place
Published: Wed, 03/21/12
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS NEWSLETTER FOR MEN
=====
IN THIS EDITION: You want women to come over to your place. Make
sure your place is somewhere they'll want to come back to again and
again...
=====
IT ALL STARTS WITH FLIRTING...
Man, one of the biggest stumbling blocks most guys run into is how
exactly to go about flirting with women.
I mean, you really can't expect to create that spark of attraction
if you "play it safe" by keeping things neuter.
Then again, it's probably not the best idea just to blurt out how
much she turns you on sexually.
So what's the deal, then? You've heard me say that flirting is
really nothing more than "interaction that only feels appropriate
if between two people of the opposite gender".
But how do you actually DO that? Better yet, how do you MASTER the
art of flirting so it really starts coming naturally to you?
Well, meet Steve Scott:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/stevescott
This guy has built a complete system for being the guy who really,
truly knows how to communicate with women in a way that serves
notice there's a MAN in front of her. It's jam-packed with solid,
practical steps...just check out the bullet points and see for
yourself:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/stevescott
So if this is one of those areas you really know you need to
tighten up, Steve's your guy. And the price is right on this also...
=====
THE BACHELOR'S GUIDE TO SETTING UP HIS PLACE
Notice I have purposefully avoided the term "bachelor pad" here.
That's for good reason. That expression conjures up immediate
visions of complete, utter cheesiness. And if you expect to invite
women over at any point (which I trust is a given) the last thing
you want your place to be as a single man is cheesy.
OK, maybe that's second-from-last. The very last thing you want
your place to be is dirty. And you can take that any way you'd
like, because no matter what you are thinking you are understanding
me perfectly.
Interestingly, I've had numerous guys (and some women) ask me how
to set up their living space the right way. Here's the thing:
EVERYONE has his or her unique set of circumstances.
Some have lots of money, some have hardly anything extra to spend.
Some live in the city, and some live in small towns. Some live
where you have satellite TV, and others don't.
With all of that in mind, I'm going to approach this from the
mindset of an average guy with average income who lives in a
suburban setting. You are welcome to take what you can use and
leave the rest on the shelf, although the more philosophic bits are
probably universally applicable.
So let's take this by room, shall we? I'll weave in the more
general principles along the way.
1) Door/Entry
Make sure the front light works and there are no spiders living in
the corner outside. Have a mat to wipe feet on and a rack inside
the doorway for coats/umbrellas if you don't have a closet by the
door. This is really important to making her feel comfortable
immediately--and we all know by now that this is job one.
2) Bathrooms
For most of your house or apartment, keeping things straightened-up
as opposed to Felix Unger pristine is the key. I've actually heard
from some women that a surrealistically clean place creeps them
out. They recognize that for guys to live that way "just ain't
natural", as we say here in Texas.
So clearing out the clutter is the key. That may get us off the
hook for dusting the floorboards, but the absolute exception to
that guideline is the bathroom. CLEAN THE TOILETS. Clean AROUND
the toilets.
In fact, clean the whole room, including the tub/shower and the
sink. Use the "Clean Shower" stuff or equivalent every time you
shower and you'll save yourself major trouble later.
Clean the spots off the mirror.
Finally, get everything out of your medicine cabinet that you don't
want discovered. According to at least one "lady guru" I've
interviewed in the past, most women consider it their birthright to
spy on your medicine cabinet. Sure you have condoms, but put them
somewhere more discreet por favor. That goes double for the
recreational Cialis.
3) Kitchen
You are cooking for her, aren't you? (Remember who you're hearing
from here, right?) When you are shopping for an apartment or a
house, make the kitchen a higher priority than most guys do. You
want enough area in there that two people can work together.
When you go for kitchen appliances, make sure stuff doesn't clash.
If at all possible, I highly recommend the stainless steel look.
It's got a high-end feel and comes off as masculine. Get a full
compliment of kitchen utensils, decent knives and a set of
pots/pans that gives you the flexibility to cook whatever you'd
like.
Get at least one set of matching dishes (make them masculine
looking) and flatware service for four. If you have a suitable
area outside, definitely get a small BBQ pit.
Keep the fridge devoid of rotten, moldy stuff at all times. This
grosses women out on sight. Make sure you have a variety of
beverages, including bottled water and diet sodas if you don't
drink that stuff. Make sure the ice is fresh.
If you can, invest in one of those mini-fridges with the window in
the door that doubles as a "wine cellar". Keep a couple of bottles
of white in there. If you are blessed enough to live near a Trader
Joe's, Charles Shaw is dirt cheap and does the job if you aren't
yet a wine connoisseur. Otherwise, Barefoot is some fairly
drinkable but inexpensive wine.
You can populate the rest of the thing with singles out of the last
dozen six packs of various beers you've been drinking, etc. It
really doesn't matter as long as you have a variety of stuff to
draw from when putting a drink in her hand as soon as she walks in
the door.
And oh yeah...empty the trash. While you are at it, make sure the
dirty laundry is out of site.
4) Living Room
Yeah, you've likely got a killer big-screen and an X-box. When a
woman comes over though, the best use for that TV--hands down--is to
have it tuned in to whichever music channel best fits the mood you
are setting.
Most satellite or cable systems these days come with Sirius or XM
channels. Get that set up, for sure. It's amazing how cool it is
to set it to the New Orleans channel while cooking dinner, and to
move it to Urban Contemporary, Classic Blues or Smooth Jazz later.
Awwww...yeah.
And yes...I had a black leather sofa and loveseat. Stereotypical,
but for good reason. It's durable, comfortable and hides marks.
I also parked my sofa directly under the air-conditioning vent.
This proved strategic. In fact, contrary to popular wisdom, I
always cranked the a/c down to about 70 when a woman was coming
over. This encouraged closeness as the evening progressed.
When picking furniture in general, make it match. I personally
went for dark wood with angular patterns (as opposed to rounded
ones) which drew lots of compliments that my place looked stylish
yet masculine.
Don't take the feminine looking furniture (or blue couches) donated
by your Aunt Betsy simply because it's free. Resist the urge. You
can get what you need off of Craigslist for less money than you
think.
One important note here is that it's perfectly okay to be a guy.
Just look for classic and/or tasteful ways to get the message
across. For sure I avoided pinning posters of porn stars on the
wall. But I did have that black and white classic shot of John
Belushi from Animal House up there...framed. Sweet.
If you have scores of big trophies, you can keep those visible too.
Pool table...nice touch. Shooting pool with a woman you like is
invariably great fun. If you have hobbies or pastimes you are
fanatical about, having the stuff you use for doing that around the
house is to be expected--just keep it out of the way.
Lighting is also excruciatingly important. I can't overemphasize
this. You want alternatives to the default overhead
lighting...period. Floor lamps are great, track lighting and/or an
entertainment center with shelf lighting is even better.
Feel free to get creative here. I actually had between 20-25 lava
lamps of all shapes, colors and styles throughout my
house...including one in the bathroom. The effect was great, even if
the cost of replacing bulbs was more than expected. Women always
thought it was cool.
Contrary to what you might expect, I was also able to pull off
exactly one neon sign in the house. If your place is neat and
stylish otherwise, you can get away with this. Just bear in mind
your mileage may vary. You always want "stylish" over "cheesy".
These days fireplaces are seen even in basic apartments in some
locales. Use it unless it's laughably hot outside. If in doubt as
to whether it's too warm out, fire it up. Crank down the a/c to
like 68 for a couple hours right when she arrives. This is
entirely worth it.
When it comes to other decorum, I agree with others who recommend
leaving some interesting books around the house and on the shelf so
as to promote conversation. Travel books, psychology books and
bios of interesting people are all fair game here.
I also highly recommend festooning your place to the hilt with
framed pics of family and friends doing fun things together. There
is literally no more confidence inspiring a sight to a woman than
this when visiting a guy's place. Cute nieces are a plus...seriously.
A final note. You might have exactly one item that evokes a
sensual/sexual response. Maybe it's a book on tantra. In my case,
it was a pair of sexually suggestive dice that glows in the dark (a
gift). It's okay to be a sexual being, just avoid being sex
focused. By the way, you still avoid the dreaded "cheesiness"
based on your overall stylish approach. One or two kitschy things
here and there are fine.
5) Bedroom
So what about the bedroom? When you put a drink in her hand, give
her the "walking tour" of the place and feel free to include the
bedroom. Be sure to quickly leave after showing it to her though,
lest you appear to have ulterior motives. Keep the bedroom door
open afterwards.
Above all, make your bed. Do it so that the covers fold down in
front of the pillows, but don't turn the bedcovers down as if
someone is about to go to bed (see: "cheesy"). If you have a
nightstand on your side that's going to come in handy...I promise.
Again, clear out clutter--including half-eaten bags of chips and
empty glasses. I know how we are, guys.
If you haven't changed your sheets this week, do so please. What?
You don't have two sets of sheets? Get some with a thread count of
at least 300. Try "birch fiber" sheets if on a budget. They rock.
Get large pillows, and plenty of them. Pillow fights rule.
For lighting, continue the theme you've created in the rest of the
home. Your bedroom should be congruent with your style elsewhere.
If you have a TV in your bedroom, you'll find having the music
channels is especially worthwhile there. Your iPod speaker setup
can't push enough targeted variety, and even one commercial on the
radio to mess up the vibe is too many.
So that's the basic rundown. Obviously, if you have a '65 Ford
Falcon on blocks in the back yard and/or a Kenworth parked in the
front that's a minus. And hide the cats if you are a cat guy.
Women think it's kind of odd when men are cat lovers. Don't ask me
why, but it's a theme I've heard often (and I don't even have
cats).
As for the dogs, make sure they are well behaved and clean if they
are staying in the house. It's always a good idea to find out
ahead of time if your guest has allergy issues, too.
And Febreze your entire place. From top to bottom. Every time.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
=====
WARNING: If you're frustrated by your lack of online dating
success, DO NOT QUIT. The secrets to meeting exactly the women
you want are here:
http://www.onlinedatingdomination.com/subscribers
Get ready to dominate your metro area on the online dating site
of your choice.
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list.
"No games" doesn't only apply to dating around here.
=====
IN THIS EDITION: You want women to come over to your place. Make
sure your place is somewhere they'll want to come back to again and
again...
=====
IT ALL STARTS WITH FLIRTING...
Man, one of the biggest stumbling blocks most guys run into is how
exactly to go about flirting with women.
I mean, you really can't expect to create that spark of attraction
if you "play it safe" by keeping things neuter.
Then again, it's probably not the best idea just to blurt out how
much she turns you on sexually.
So what's the deal, then? You've heard me say that flirting is
really nothing more than "interaction that only feels appropriate
if between two people of the opposite gender".
But how do you actually DO that? Better yet, how do you MASTER the
art of flirting so it really starts coming naturally to you?
Well, meet Steve Scott:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/stevescott
This guy has built a complete system for being the guy who really,
truly knows how to communicate with women in a way that serves
notice there's a MAN in front of her. It's jam-packed with solid,
practical steps...just check out the bullet points and see for
yourself:
http://www.scotrecommends.com/stevescott
So if this is one of those areas you really know you need to
tighten up, Steve's your guy. And the price is right on this also...
=====
THE BACHELOR'S GUIDE TO SETTING UP HIS PLACE
Notice I have purposefully avoided the term "bachelor pad" here.
That's for good reason. That expression conjures up immediate
visions of complete, utter cheesiness. And if you expect to invite
women over at any point (which I trust is a given) the last thing
you want your place to be as a single man is cheesy.
OK, maybe that's second-from-last. The very last thing you want
your place to be is dirty. And you can take that any way you'd
like, because no matter what you are thinking you are understanding
me perfectly.
Interestingly, I've had numerous guys (and some women) ask me how
to set up their living space the right way. Here's the thing:
EVERYONE has his or her unique set of circumstances.
Some have lots of money, some have hardly anything extra to spend.
Some live in the city, and some live in small towns. Some live
where you have satellite TV, and others don't.
With all of that in mind, I'm going to approach this from the
mindset of an average guy with average income who lives in a
suburban setting. You are welcome to take what you can use and
leave the rest on the shelf, although the more philosophic bits are
probably universally applicable.
So let's take this by room, shall we? I'll weave in the more
general principles along the way.
1) Door/Entry
Make sure the front light works and there are no spiders living in
the corner outside. Have a mat to wipe feet on and a rack inside
the doorway for coats/umbrellas if you don't have a closet by the
door. This is really important to making her feel comfortable
immediately--and we all know by now that this is job one.
2) Bathrooms
For most of your house or apartment, keeping things straightened-up
as opposed to Felix Unger pristine is the key. I've actually heard
from some women that a surrealistically clean place creeps them
out. They recognize that for guys to live that way "just ain't
natural", as we say here in Texas.
So clearing out the clutter is the key. That may get us off the
hook for dusting the floorboards, but the absolute exception to
that guideline is the bathroom. CLEAN THE TOILETS. Clean AROUND
the toilets.
In fact, clean the whole room, including the tub/shower and the
sink. Use the "Clean Shower" stuff or equivalent every time you
shower and you'll save yourself major trouble later.
Clean the spots off the mirror.
Finally, get everything out of your medicine cabinet that you don't
want discovered. According to at least one "lady guru" I've
interviewed in the past, most women consider it their birthright to
spy on your medicine cabinet. Sure you have condoms, but put them
somewhere more discreet por favor. That goes double for the
recreational Cialis.
3) Kitchen
You are cooking for her, aren't you? (Remember who you're hearing
from here, right?) When you are shopping for an apartment or a
house, make the kitchen a higher priority than most guys do. You
want enough area in there that two people can work together.
When you go for kitchen appliances, make sure stuff doesn't clash.
If at all possible, I highly recommend the stainless steel look.
It's got a high-end feel and comes off as masculine. Get a full
compliment of kitchen utensils, decent knives and a set of
pots/pans that gives you the flexibility to cook whatever you'd
like.
Get at least one set of matching dishes (make them masculine
looking) and flatware service for four. If you have a suitable
area outside, definitely get a small BBQ pit.
Keep the fridge devoid of rotten, moldy stuff at all times. This
grosses women out on sight. Make sure you have a variety of
beverages, including bottled water and diet sodas if you don't
drink that stuff. Make sure the ice is fresh.
If you can, invest in one of those mini-fridges with the window in
the door that doubles as a "wine cellar". Keep a couple of bottles
of white in there. If you are blessed enough to live near a Trader
Joe's, Charles Shaw is dirt cheap and does the job if you aren't
yet a wine connoisseur. Otherwise, Barefoot is some fairly
drinkable but inexpensive wine.
You can populate the rest of the thing with singles out of the last
dozen six packs of various beers you've been drinking, etc. It
really doesn't matter as long as you have a variety of stuff to
draw from when putting a drink in her hand as soon as she walks in
the door.
And oh yeah...empty the trash. While you are at it, make sure the
dirty laundry is out of site.
4) Living Room
Yeah, you've likely got a killer big-screen and an X-box. When a
woman comes over though, the best use for that TV--hands down--is to
have it tuned in to whichever music channel best fits the mood you
are setting.
Most satellite or cable systems these days come with Sirius or XM
channels. Get that set up, for sure. It's amazing how cool it is
to set it to the New Orleans channel while cooking dinner, and to
move it to Urban Contemporary, Classic Blues or Smooth Jazz later.
Awwww...yeah.
And yes...I had a black leather sofa and loveseat. Stereotypical,
but for good reason. It's durable, comfortable and hides marks.
I also parked my sofa directly under the air-conditioning vent.
This proved strategic. In fact, contrary to popular wisdom, I
always cranked the a/c down to about 70 when a woman was coming
over. This encouraged closeness as the evening progressed.
When picking furniture in general, make it match. I personally
went for dark wood with angular patterns (as opposed to rounded
ones) which drew lots of compliments that my place looked stylish
yet masculine.
Don't take the feminine looking furniture (or blue couches) donated
by your Aunt Betsy simply because it's free. Resist the urge. You
can get what you need off of Craigslist for less money than you
think.
One important note here is that it's perfectly okay to be a guy.
Just look for classic and/or tasteful ways to get the message
across. For sure I avoided pinning posters of porn stars on the
wall. But I did have that black and white classic shot of John
Belushi from Animal House up there...framed. Sweet.
If you have scores of big trophies, you can keep those visible too.
Pool table...nice touch. Shooting pool with a woman you like is
invariably great fun. If you have hobbies or pastimes you are
fanatical about, having the stuff you use for doing that around the
house is to be expected--just keep it out of the way.
Lighting is also excruciatingly important. I can't overemphasize
this. You want alternatives to the default overhead
lighting...period. Floor lamps are great, track lighting and/or an
entertainment center with shelf lighting is even better.
Feel free to get creative here. I actually had between 20-25 lava
lamps of all shapes, colors and styles throughout my
house...including one in the bathroom. The effect was great, even if
the cost of replacing bulbs was more than expected. Women always
thought it was cool.
Contrary to what you might expect, I was also able to pull off
exactly one neon sign in the house. If your place is neat and
stylish otherwise, you can get away with this. Just bear in mind
your mileage may vary. You always want "stylish" over "cheesy".
These days fireplaces are seen even in basic apartments in some
locales. Use it unless it's laughably hot outside. If in doubt as
to whether it's too warm out, fire it up. Crank down the a/c to
like 68 for a couple hours right when she arrives. This is
entirely worth it.
When it comes to other decorum, I agree with others who recommend
leaving some interesting books around the house and on the shelf so
as to promote conversation. Travel books, psychology books and
bios of interesting people are all fair game here.
I also highly recommend festooning your place to the hilt with
framed pics of family and friends doing fun things together. There
is literally no more confidence inspiring a sight to a woman than
this when visiting a guy's place. Cute nieces are a plus...seriously.
A final note. You might have exactly one item that evokes a
sensual/sexual response. Maybe it's a book on tantra. In my case,
it was a pair of sexually suggestive dice that glows in the dark (a
gift). It's okay to be a sexual being, just avoid being sex
focused. By the way, you still avoid the dreaded "cheesiness"
based on your overall stylish approach. One or two kitschy things
here and there are fine.
5) Bedroom
So what about the bedroom? When you put a drink in her hand, give
her the "walking tour" of the place and feel free to include the
bedroom. Be sure to quickly leave after showing it to her though,
lest you appear to have ulterior motives. Keep the bedroom door
open afterwards.
Above all, make your bed. Do it so that the covers fold down in
front of the pillows, but don't turn the bedcovers down as if
someone is about to go to bed (see: "cheesy"). If you have a
nightstand on your side that's going to come in handy...I promise.
Again, clear out clutter--including half-eaten bags of chips and
empty glasses. I know how we are, guys.
If you haven't changed your sheets this week, do so please. What?
You don't have two sets of sheets? Get some with a thread count of
at least 300. Try "birch fiber" sheets if on a budget. They rock.
Get large pillows, and plenty of them. Pillow fights rule.
For lighting, continue the theme you've created in the rest of the
home. Your bedroom should be congruent with your style elsewhere.
If you have a TV in your bedroom, you'll find having the music
channels is especially worthwhile there. Your iPod speaker setup
can't push enough targeted variety, and even one commercial on the
radio to mess up the vibe is too many.
So that's the basic rundown. Obviously, if you have a '65 Ford
Falcon on blocks in the back yard and/or a Kenworth parked in the
front that's a minus. And hide the cats if you are a cat guy.
Women think it's kind of odd when men are cat lovers. Don't ask me
why, but it's a theme I've heard often (and I don't even have
cats).
As for the dogs, make sure they are well behaved and clean if they
are staying in the house. It's always a good idea to find out
ahead of time if your guest has allergy issues, too.
And Febreze your entire place. From top to bottom. Every time.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
=====
WARNING: If you're frustrated by your lack of online dating
success, DO NOT QUIT. The secrets to meeting exactly the women
you want are here:
http://www.onlinedatingdomination.com/subscribers
Get ready to dominate your metro area on the online dating site
of your choice.
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2012. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly (and promptly) remove you from our mailing list.
"No games" doesn't only apply to dating around here.