[X&Y] Which "Experience" Are You?
Published: Wed, 10/31/07
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com (www.deservewhatyouwant.com)
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IN THIS EDITION: You probably know what your "type" is. That's
all good. But what "type" are you? The answer to this question
and how you deal with it is all-important when it comes to creating
attraction.
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Now on to this week's newsletter...
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WHICH "EXPERIENCE" ARE YOU?
Alright, first of all, I'll come right out with it. You already
know I consider "just be yourself" to be perhaps the most dangerous
and certainly the most generic bit of attraction advice I've ever
heard.
And with that bit of housekeeping behind us, I'm going to suggest
that you instead avoid trying to be someone you are not.
At first glance, I'm sure that comes off as simply a semantic
variation upon the same worn out "just be yourself" cliché. Kind
of like the "mirror image" of it or something.
And were it such, it would be a throwaway. I agree.
Except there's this issue that keeps nagging away at me. As much
as I want to change things, "stop trying to be someone you are not"
is absolutely the most elegant possible utterance of an undeniable
truth. A truth that many of us willingly and defiantly ignore.
And that's keeping us from greatness with the opposite gender.
So, in the interest of getting your attention, today I'm going to
illustrate what this truism entails in a way you may have not heard
before. After all, it's typical of dating advice clichés that they
be delivered in a decidedly "hit and run" manner. Elaboration in
any shape or form is practically unheard of.
Consider this example:
Person A: "I just met someone great, but not my type at all."
Person B: "Well, you can't choose who you fall in love with."
Person A: "What does that mean?"
Person B: "You know...you can't choose who you fall in love with."
Person A: "How do you know that?
Person B: [changes subject to the Red Sox and/or Kobe Bryant]
Conveniently, "Person A" above has provided me with just the segue
I need to stay on-task.
This whole business of what "type" we like. We talk about that a
lot, huh? But have you ever stopped to consider what "type" YOU
are?
And here's an even deeper question: Are you YOUR OWN TYPE? If
you've ever found time to ruminate upon this subject, then you may
have some idea of how you tend to be categorized by MOTOS (Members
Of The Opposite Sex). And here's the money question: Are you okay
with that?
See, it's like this. Most of us, unless we've signed an NBA
contract and are penciled in for a future episode of MTV "Cribs",
probably have one car. In order to get that car (or is it a
truck?), you went shopping. My guess is that you knew up front
whether you were going after a four wheel drive SUV or a 2-seater
sports car. Yeah, maybe in real life it was a minivan or an
econobox, but for the sake of decorum here lets stay on point here.
If you need an SUV, the 2-seater won't cut it. But if you want the
wind in your hair and autocross trophies, a foot and a half of
ground clearance and a tailgate is not the hot setup.
So if you are SUV hunting, you've got lots of options. Most of us
in that position would rather land a Hummer H2 in our garage than a
Kia Sportage or a Jeep Compass (which I wouldn't personally wish
upon anyone).
Sports car guy? It's the Porsche GT3 over that new Saturn
lawn-mower wannabee. (Does that thing even take real gasoline?)
But the Ferrari F50...yeah, well. That's what I call "never settling".
Many options of varying degrees of quality--all easily categorized
under their appropriate "type".
I once saw a Hummer commercial that exhorted me to "Experience The
H2". Poetically, all that is entailed with piloting a Ferrari was
long ago coined "The Italian Experience".
So which "Experience" are you?
Some great women are what I call the "Redhead Experience". Others
are the "Exotic Experience". Still others the "Girl Next Door
Experience". Some are the "Tomboy Experience". The list goes on.
Some guys are the "Clean Cut Jock Experience". Others are the
"Artistic Poet Experience". Some are the "Executive Experience".
Etcetera.
Where the rubber meets the road here there's an ironic truth. We
can CHOOSE which type we LIKE when it comes to MOTOS. If that's
related to sports cars, we can also then go out and DESERVE the F50
over the '91 Mercury Capri (Ha...remember those?).
But when it comes to ourselves, let's face it...there's a "type" that
we almost always fall naturally into. That's how others
"experience" us as individuals.
And we aren't always our own "type". So we try to change the
"experience". And that can backfire.
Emily happened to flip the channels a couple of months ago while
cooking dinner. From the other room, all I heard was "OMG...why is
this kid wearing BLACK NAIL POLISH?" That's was pretty much my
introduction to "The Pickup Artist" on VH-1.
Indeed. The "kid" should have thought twice about the black nail
polish. Not his "experience". Then again, were I to try and dress
up like Sean Connery's James Bond later tonight, I'd probably more
likely be assumed to be going as Alex Keaton from "Family Ties".
It's all about the "experience".
Ladies, tell the media to "stick it" and avoid the "Blonde
Experience" or the "Supermodel Experience" if you are the "Brown
Eyed Girl Next Door Experience". Trust us when we as guys tell you
(or at least a solid percentage of guys tell you) that we're fine
with your "type"...even if YOU AREN'T.
Yeah, we may kick tires on SUVs, sports cars and maybe even a
three-quarter ton pickup truck when the mood strikes us. But
ultimately, after all the test drives, we're only going to be
parking one such shiny object in our respective garages.
Who knows, we may have been somewhat drawn to the "Blonde
Experience" or the "Supermodel Experience" at first. But maybe her
tank always seemed to be on "E", or we read a consumer report that
told us the electrical systems tended to fritz out.
But I'll tell you, when we meet the "Brown Eyed Girl Next Door
Experience" in her ultimate iteration, that could stop us dead in
our tracks. You know, she's the one who DESERVES WHAT SHE WANTS.
At that point, all of us who are shopping on that lot will know
we're dealing with the Ferrarri F-40 of her type, instead of the
Mercuri Capri with the Earl Scheib paint job.
Meanwhile, I'll be over here...at peace with the fact that I can't
fake "Cary Grant", but that plenty of women (including "Brown Eyed
Girl Next Door Experience", F-40 such that she is over in the next
room) are all about The "Alex Keaton Experience". So, I'm cool
with that. I stopped fighting what I can't control years ago in
favor of being the best damn version of my "type" possible instead
of a poor man's version of some other guy.
Perhaps not coincidentally, I always loved how a four-door Audi RS4
(read: "station wagon") can smoke a Corvette. Whatever your
"experience", go with it instead of fighting it. Then become the
ultimate version of it.
Just somebody get my Mother-In-Law to stop pinching my cheeks, will
you?
Be Good,
Scot
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TEN-PLUS DIRECT COACHING: Demand for personal coaching has sharply
increased of late, and there is going to be a rate increase as a
result. I am a busy man these days indeed, largely due to the simple
fact that NEARLY HALF of those coming to me nowadays are DIRECT
REFERRALS from other Ten-Plus beneficiaries. If you are even
remotely considering getting a plan for greatness with the opposite
gender enacted in your life, NOW is the time to call me so I can get
you in under the wire. Take a look at
http://www.dating-coaches.com
and call me ASAP on +1-210-260-6400 or Skype "scotmckay" for the
details. Schedule at your convenience regardless of time zone.
Results are guaranteed.
POWER SESSIONS FOR WOMEN IS NOW KEYS TO BLISS: OK, Power Sessions
are for guys. Keys To Bliss are for women. Fair enough. This month
get a sneak peak into Emily's upcoming Online Dating program. Great
stuff. Get a free month with your copy of Deserve What You Want
http://www.dating-advise.us
or drop by
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/powersessions/women
X & Y ON THE FLY ASKS: "WHO'S GOT IT HARDER?": We know you liked
that episode about the "Battle Of The Flowers", so now we hit
another subject mano-a-mano with a big heavy hammer: "Who's Got It
Harder When It Comes To Dating, Men Or Women?" Prepare for
surprises ahead. Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes:
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=162722277
...or get it from the feed at
http://feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly
And thanks again to all of you for putting us on the very front
page of iTunes' "Health/Self-Help" section worldwide.
A NEW ONLINE DATING PROFILE RATING (#19): Hit iTunes at
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=213484722
or the feed at http://feeds.feedburner.com/onlinedating
THE CHICK WHISPERER #14: Cameron Teone and I talk about "Pickup,
Seduction...And THEN What?". Listen to Cam reminisce about his days
at Project Hollywood...and his days since. Epic stuff. You do not
want to miss this episode, and you won't as long as you hit iTunes at
http://phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=218155493
or the feed at
http://feeds.feedburner.com/thechickwhisperer
Get to know Cameron by visiting
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/cameron
and get your hands on one of the most refreshingly different
e-books out there. And thanks again to all of YOU for your support
in putting this podcast on the front page WORLDWIDE also, only this
time in iTunes' "Health/Alternative Health" section. Incidentally,
#15 is already recorded and ready for editing.
EMILY'S "KEYS TO BLISS" NEWSLETTER: Many of you still sign up
every single time I send out a newsletter, so I'll keep telling you
about it. Drop a blank e-mail to emily@aweber.com . No subject or
text is necessary. Joining will not affect your membership to this
newsletter. Incidentally, Emily is 8 months pregnant these days
but cranking out newsletters, podcasts, monthly programs, online
dating advanced series and other "keys to bliss" as well as she can...
PODCAST PHONE NUMBERS TO LISTEN IN ON:
X & Y On The Fly
289-466-5002
Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/xyonthefly
The Chick Whisperer
415-376-7267
Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/thechickwhisperer
Online Dating Profile Rating
305-890-1549
Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/onlinedating
Nice Guys Need Love Too--Comedy Cast
305-890-1558
Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/niceguys
*NEW* DatingCast
360-227-5762
Feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/datingcast
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