[X&Y] The Golden Rule In Reverse
Published: Wed, 11/14/07
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com
(www.deservewhatyouwant.com)
http://www.edumckaytion.com/blog
(www.edumckaytion.com/blog)
=====
IN THIS EDITION: You learned the "Golden Rule" when you were a
kid (we hope). Most people NEVER DISCOVER it's logical counterpart.
You are about to do exactly that...
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Now on to this week's newsletter...
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THE GOLDEN RULE IN REVERSE
Anyone ever born of human parents (and possibly some born of other
high-functioning vertebrates too, for all I know) has been taught
what is commonly known as "The Golden Rule". Yeah, yeah..."Do Unto
Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You".
And if you follow this tenet throughout life's journey, things
actually do tend to go well. People really do like to be treated
with respect, of course. Go figure. But it goes so much deeper
than that. If you're a guy, keeping TGR (i.e. "The Golden Rule")
in mind could prove instrumental in curing you from such
debilitating ailments as kissing up to women, giving your power
away, viewing sex as the sole purpose of dating, allowing nerves to
get the best of you, doing creepy stuff, and robbing banks.
Have you ever thought of any potential challenges in approaching
and seducing MOTOS in that light before? If not, consider that
"bonus material", because I've got something much deeper than that
to share.
For starters, I'm pretty sure that most of us have figured out that
a fair number of people with whom we share this planet don't
exactly live by TGR. For them, it's more like "Do Unto Others
Before They Do Unto You". I've never encountered a specific name
for this particular twist on the original, but it's decidedly the
"dark side" equivalent. And the way I see things, it's about as
worthless as anything else coming from a position of complete,
utter disdain for personal character. So let's call it "The
Plastic Rule". Or how about "The Styrofoam Rule"?
That so many people think they can go through life with such a
mindset and actually experience any semblance of success in life
should amaze me. But it doesn't.
Why not? Because here it is: People absolutely *can* and *do* often
succeed at cashing in on life in a BIG WAY by utilizing the cheaper,
more expendable distortion of TGR.
They're called "manipulators".
Did that get your attention? I should hope so, considering how
many e-mails and Skype calls I get from those of you out there who
are losing entire chunks of your personal freedom and dignity at
the hands of MOTOS who just want to take a bigger bite out of you
while offering little in return. The simple fact that genuinely
good people are getting thrashed to shreds in their dating lives
has reached a boiling point with me. Clearly, perfectly decent
people are getting jaded by seemingly promising circumstances gone
bad--and yet, they're continuing to invite other manipulators into
their lives. Apparently the lesson isn't being learned.
Or...perhaps the answer to the puzzle of why generous, high-end
people continue to be duped by manipulation is that they fail to
recognize it for what it is. The truth is most of us don't even
have a well-constructed working definition of "manipulation" at our
disposal. And that, my brothers and sisters, is because many of us
have never had the presence of mind to work TGR in REVERSE.
So, you've got it. Nope... "The Plastic Rule" is NOT in fact what
I'm referring to in the title of this piece. Did I catch you off
guard with that? Good...my job is to keep you on your toes out
there. TPR is more like the photonegative image or "opposite" of
TGR if you will. Someone who adopts that mindset is using it ON
you. It's a frame that is all their own.
If you, on the other hand, live by TGR the most effective secret
I've ever discovered for identifying and eliminating manipulators
from one's life is to essentially "reverse engineer" the concept
when considering the actions of others. What do I mean by this?
Essentially, when confronted with a situation where someone is
interacting with you or behaving towards you in a way you are
somehow uncomfortable with, ask yourself this question: "Would I
ever do unto someone else that which is being done unto me?" Do
so, and you've effectively leveraged the concept of "TGR-R". It
sounds like a late 90's Yamaha sportbike, but it's "The Golden
Rule--Reversed".
Here's a basic example of a situation where TGR-R may prove
indispensable:
WEEK ONE:
Wannabee Manipulator: "Hey You, I just came back from the store
and I got us both a Diet Pepsi. Here you go, man."
You: "Whoa...that's cool of you. Thanks."
WM: "No problem...I take care of my friends."
WEEK TWO:
WM: "Hey You, my car just got repossessed. Can you lend me
$1586.49? You are my only hope of ever getting my car back!"
You: "Wow...I don't know man. I'm not made of money and that's
kind of a lot."
WM: "Hmmm. Well, you know, I've had your back before. That's
what friends are for. I do things like buy you sodas and stuff all
the time."
You: "Dude...that's a soda. This is friggin' $1586.49!"
WM: "Man...just when I thought you were really a true friend."
From here, one of two scenarios plays out. Either you cave in and
give WM the money, likely to a response of, "My man! I just KNEW
you'd come through. You're like the greatest person who has ever
lived, dude!" Or, you tell WM to get lost, probably eliciting a
response to the tune of, "Wow. I thought you were a real friend.
But your true colors are shining through. You're only care about
yourself."
Regardless of which outcome actually occurs, you likely will feel
an uneasiness in the pit of your stomach. You'll feel like you've
been compromised or even flat-out used if you shell out the cash.
And if you don't, you're left with the stinging guilt of not having
helped out a friend in need. ...Unless, of course, you are armed
with TGR-R.
With the perspective of TGR-R, you are able to ask yourself, "If my
car was ever repossessed, would I ever assume myself to be entitled
to an unsecured loan of nearly $1600 from a friend?" Any decent
human being would clearly answer "no way". Who compromises
friendships for dollars...especially when one's lack of
creditworthiness painted oneself into such a position anyway? This
level of clarity allows you to call out the manipulator with no
reason for guilt whatsoever.
Indeed. And a similar principle holds true in a variety of
potential situations with MOTOS. What if a woman has flaked out on
you for the third time in two weeks--and you put up with it (again)
despite the fact that you would NEVER, EVER flake on someone
yourself...at all? TGR-R would put an end to that kind of weak
capitulation once and for all.
Identify and kill manipulation before it happens. Deserving what
you want involves both being a person of high character AND being
able to IDENTIFY others with high-character.
Be Good,
Scot
=====
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