[X&Y] The Difference Between Pickup And Seduction
Published: Sat, 11/24/07
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com
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http://www.edumckaytion.com/blog
(www.edumckaytion.com/blog)
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IN THIS EDITION: What is the difference between "pickup" and
"seduction"? And more importantly, is that really all there is to
getting better with women?
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THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PICKUP AND SEDUCTION
Have you been trapped under something extremely heavy for the past
six or eight years? Good. Then you've already figured out that
the vast majority world's resources for men who want to get better
with women focus on PICKUP and/or SEDUCTION.
There's "The Seduction Community", of course. But lately I've also
seen "Pickup Community" coined in several places. What gives?
It's looks an awful lot like the terms are treated as virtually
synonymous. Is that the case? And must EVERYTHING that equals
"dating advice" for men necessarily be classified as one or the
other?
I say, "Not a chance", and, um..."Not a chance".
For starters, both "pickup" and "seduction" are universally
referenced when talking about the early stages of relationship
management. But it's there where the terms diverge.
In my mind, "pickup" in particular focuses purely on approaching
and meeting MOTOS, and perhaps building rapport, etc. In no
uncertain terms (at least ostensibly), we're talking about what is
commonly referred to as "Day One" stuff here. At some point,
"pickup" makes a soft handoff to "seduction", which inherently
refers to inspiring MOTOS towards deeper sexual attraction towards
the seducer. Whether you choose to buy into the Dictionary.com
definition referencing "enticing someone astray from right
behavior" or the other one reading "an act of winning the love or
sexual favor of someone is your business. But either way, we're
past "pickup" at this point.
With the semantic differences between "pickup" and "seduction" down
on paper, the logical follow-up question is, "Does this mean
there's a difference between a "pickup artist" and a "seducer".
Oh HECK YEAH there is.
Having given this some considerable thought, it's apparent to me
that a "pickup artist" focuses on the GAME. "Pickup" typically
involves "openers", "routines", and other terms and acronyms that
would make IT engineers jealous--perhaps not coincidentally, I
might add. The game of "pickup" itself is about acquiring as many
"number closes", "kiss closes" and "lays" as one can, and in the
shortest amount of time possible.
As the saying goes, "He who dies with the most toys wins."
Recently I saw a post on a well-traveled message board proposing
that all of the top "PUAs" should have to fill out some sort of
spreadsheet detailing their numbers of "lays", with age groups and
other details. Then we could objectively decide who "wins".
A "seducer", on the other hand, is focused on the WOMEN themselves.
Remember the dog that chased cars and finally caught one? Well,
there's your analogy. Once you "pick up" a woman, you've got to
know WHAT TO DO NEXT. That's no longer "pickup", gentlemen. It's
the "seducer" who can drive a woman wild with attraction
and...yes...sexual anticipation.
I therefore consider the art of seduction to be a more evolved one
than the art of pickup. Although both are very necessary skills,
if a guy learns some "pickup game" and stops there he's in for some
serious frustration. After all, great women generally do not like
being "picked up". But they LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being "seduced".
Ever been to a car dealership? Did the salesman basically ignore
what you were saying and try to point you to his preference
instead, asking "what he could do to get you to buy this car
TODAY?" Or...did he listen intently to you, eventually helping you
get the car you really wanted...on terms you were stoked about?
Yeah well, women are human beings just like you, not "targets".
They love to buy what they are shopping for, but HATE to be "sold".
And what about the question of why EVERYTHING in the world of
"men's dating advice" seems to focus on "pick up" and "seduction"
(if it even goes as far as the latter)? The obvious answer is
because it's all about the "quick fix", which is what itching ears
want to hear.
But the truth about REAL, SUSTAINED success with women necessitates
drilling down to an even deeper level. Once you've SEDUCED a
woman, a man must continue to keep her attracted. Are you one of
those guys who feels like he's continuously shoveling coal into the
burner trying to backfill all of those "relationships" that flame
out after two or three dates? If so, what I've shared with you
thus far could be why...your vision isn't deep enough.
Don't beat yourself up over this, though. After all, as we've
already said most of the info out there for us guys about "how to
succeed with the babes" is telling us to dive into a shallow
"kiddie pool" head first.
All of this is precisely why we talk about getting TOTAL CONTROL
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and keeping them enthralled with the kind of masculine, confident,
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therefore pure staying power. This means deserving what you want
rather than getting a few "Jedi mind tricks" down pat. You've got
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But the reward is almost absolute control over when and if second dates
take place...and how long you choose to have someone in your life.
Is this worth it to you?
Can you be the man who manages relationships according to his own
decision-making abilities--but always with the positive concern for
women that causes them to love you for your efforts?
This is way beyond "day one" and "day two" stuff. This means
throwing away the calendar and enjoying the freedom of life without
deadlines.
Be Good,
Scot
=====
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