[X&Y] "Chase" Her, Wait By The Phone, Or Do THIS...Your Choice
Published: Sat, 12/29/07
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com
(www.deservewhatyouwant.com)
http://www.edumckaytion.com/blog
(www.edumckaytion.com/blog)
=====
IN THIS EDITION: Again we tackle a "high quality" problem
encountered by a reader. Are you ready to do away with "low
quality" issues and get on with mastering "high quality" scenarios
of your own? Get ready to find out exactly how I'm prepared to
stand at your side in 2008 if that's your New Year's Resolution.
=====
Here we are. Another year has come and gone.
So tell me. Have you met your goals this year? Have you become a
man who deserves what he wants yet?
If you are not yet fully in control of your dating life and are not
yet spending time with the women you really want, 2008 has GOT to
be the year you change that. Have you been reading how to do stuff
like "open" women , "calibrate", and "escalate"...but all it does is
FRUSTRATE? Are you meeting some women, but not nearly the HIGH
QUALITY women you most want?
Maybe you've been reading these newsletters for a while and you've
long since figured out that what we are about around here is
completely different than what you see elsewhere in the "Seduction
Community".
You see, I realize that picking up the fourth or fifth woman you'll
meet at a club tonight and wondering what to say to her next is not
REAL SUCCESS with women. I also realize that you are not a desperate
man who will accept that as his reality.
The truth remains: Most men like you and I would love to have the
capability to build strong, lasting connections with GREAT women of
OUR CHOICE. Yet, we tragically refuse to believe that we are
capable of such amazing, ultimate success...OR...we mistakenly
believe that GREAT women "don't exist".
Many guys just chalk it all up as "too good to be true".
Yeah, well...what "many guys" suppose is beside the point. Because
there ARE great women out there. And guys just like you and I ARE
succeeding with them. All of this goes on whether YOU are willing
to acknowledge it or not.
So how about it? Is 2008 the year?
Are you a man who will cast mediocrity to the wind and FINALLY stand
up and do what it takes to deserve the highest echelon of women on
Earth? Can you believe that this will happen in your life?
I hope and trust that you are, and that you can. And if so, I've
devised a plan for you that will put everything within your grasp--
all neatly packaged as a New Year's Resolution. I'll tell you about
that in a minute.
But first, here's a message I received from a reader this week that
perfectly demonstrates the kind of HIGH QUALITY issues that men who
are seeking the SHARPEST WOMEN ON EARTH tend to encounter.
Addressed below is the kind of scenario you ABSOLUTELY MUST know
how to handle in order to deserve a great woman....
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READER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS:
CHASE HER LIKE A MAMA'S BOY, WAIT BY THE PHONE, OR DO THIS...YOUR CHOICE
=====
Dear Scot,
I have a friend - Dan - who subscribes to your full services... I
subscribe to your newsletter and I like the answers you give (you
apparently actually answer people's questions) - here's one for you
if you find it worthy of your newsletters:
I've come a long way this year in getting what I deserve and being
the kind of person who deserves the kind of woman he desires. I
have a "what happened here?" type of question. I know I'm to blame
at least in part, but want to pin it down exactly.
I'm a good-looking, cultured guy, and I met a good-looking,
cultured girl at a charity event. We hit it off immediately. She's
new in town - and repeatedly pointed out to me she's single. We
hopped from the charity event to a nearby bar and got to know each
other better. I texted her a few times, fun banter - I noted her
responses were a bit infrequent / lacking but no big deal.
As a next step, I decided to take her out salsa dancing. I'm an
experienced Latin dancer who's just trying his hand at teaching
dance a bit - so suffice it to say she really had a great time over
the night. Frankly she was gushing as we left the club. She
abruptly had to leave that night due to a very early Saturday a.m.
appointment (which I was unaware of, stupid me). It was 2 a.m. when
she left, though, and she said she had to meet (whomever) at 8 a.m.
Nothing really physical happened (beyond dancing), perhaps due to
that interrupt.
I texted her a few times after that - still fun, but better than
get-to-know you banter since we had a pretty nice time and I could
draw on that a little. Her texts back again were infrequent /
lacking. I frankly have other girls working on me, so her behavior
sort of stood out. In fact, it hit me as this this: She just wants
me to chase. Too much. She won't lift a finger. Ideas - from the
bar to salsa, I came up with them all. Though I'm asking you to
trust me on this one, I believe her behavior wasn't due to lack of
interest in me. It suddenly struck me that this is HOW she acts out
her INTEREST - by following "her rules" or whatever it is to get me
to invest and chase. ("Oh god, this guy is great! Don't chase! Make
him chase you!")
I suddenly felt a dim feeling wash over me and I just moved on. I
just feel that at some point, the girl has to meet you halfway in
interest. I mean, at least an enthusiastic text back? Is that
against the rules? Am I going to have to do the heavy
lifting...forever?
A buddy later met her in the gym. Or more accurately, she sort of
hunted him out there. She asked about me, etc. He said little to
her. He said she finally said to herself, "I've got to call him
(me)." She didn't.
Thanksgiving, a month later, she sends a "Happy Thanksgiving" text
to me that for all I know could have been sent to everyone en masse
in her phone list. I just regarded that as typical behavior from
Miss "I do nothing, you need to do everything". I texted her back,
"Is this a mass text? Still - happy thanksgiving to you (name of
girl)." She texted me a long one after that, some sort of apology /
insistence that the first text was in fact a personal text to me.
But by this point, my feelings were sort of set, and I had already
become involved with someone else.
In looking back, I see confusion on her end and mine.
-- On her end, because she probably thinks I "dropped the ball"
after carrying it pretty far. She didn't get that, at some point,
her cooperation would be appreciated, especially since I have other
options. Or that my plan isn't to carry the ball by myself forever.
-- On my part, because I didn't see an obvious way to eliminate her
"he must chase me always" frame, a way to get her to see that as
infantile at a certain point, even though I knew it was happening.
I have the sense that, if I called her / texted her something
humorous like, "So, I'm putting our elopement plans on hold until
I'm sure you can come up with fun ideas too" - she might have
gotten the picture (I have no doubt she could have come up with
something fun - she's a fun girl...I think).
Thanks for any help,
Russell (Michigan)
Well, Russell, it sounds at least like you are a man who has what I
refer to as "high quality problems".
You've given me a lot of information to work with, but I'm still
unclear as to what you really want. Do you want to know what was
going on in her mind? It doesn't appear you're too broken up over
losing her--just confused with her behavior.
So here it is. The HIGHEST QUALITY women will not chase
you--ever--even if you are used to it from other women. I'm not
exactly sure anyone particularly needs to "chase" anyway when two
high quality people meet, man OR woman. So the likely truth is
that this woman wanted you to LEAD, not "chase". BIG, BIG
difference.
I'm happy to explain. But first, a basic observation.
Some people really aren't so in to texting. Unless you are either
really well-practiced and/or have a QWERTY-equipped phone, it can
be tedious as hell. Further (and more importantly), real
conversations over text SUCK. No 'non-verbal' communication and
HUGE margins for error when it comes to misinterpretation (as you
actually saw first hand) make it a bad idea. If anything, you were
dealing with a wise woman here.
What she wanted was for you to go ahead and call her. And no, she
wasn't going to call you first. She was looking for you to take
the LEAD. Elaboration later, but first the basics...
This woman absolutely, positively did not show you anything but
interest. She flirted with you up front, told you she was single,
bounced with you elsewhere the night she first met you and then
proceeded to stay out with you on day two until 2a having a blast
when she had to get up early. What more of an "IOI" do you really
need? Look...HIGH-QUALITY women will NOT lose their dignity in the
form of "chasing". Here we had a woman who simply shared your
commitment to personal dignity and not giving one's power away. Is
that not what you'd rather have than a bunch of fawning bimbos?
The whole "lower status breeds disinterest" game is NOT gender
specific. We guys lose interest in women who fall all over us as
quickly as women do so when men have similar lack of self-control
(although arguably not as quickly, as women rightly demand real
leadership from us).
Neither this woman nor any other owes you any other IOI than what
you were given. In fact, my opinion is that she likely threw her
approval of you out on the table more than she typically does. Had
I been out with her my last official act on that second date
between her "gushing" and "abruptly leaving" would have been to
take her by both shoulders, push her against the door of whichever
car she was "abruptly leaving" in and proceed to kiss her brains
out for exactly 5-10 seconds. No more...no less. Then I would have
paused for the perfunctory close-range staring into each other's
eyes like wild untamed beasts for another precise 5-10 seconds.
Then I would have cracked a slight smile, flicked up the end of her
nose with my left index finger like she was a bratty little sister
and simply said, "I'll call you." Then, I'd call her. And I
wouldn't have to wait three to five days "so as not to appear
needy", either.
That's what she wanted, but ONLY if you did too--enough to LEAD her
into that reality.
I'd actually need more fingers than I have on both hands to count
how many times the above story has played out with MIND BLOWING
results in my life--often, I might add, from women who showed
NEARLY ZERO indication of interest other than friendly conversation
and continued willingness to stick around for at least while longer
than absolutely necessary. In fact, looking back on my life I'd
need a few more hands to count how many times I could KICK myself
for not knowing back in my late teens/early twenties what I know
now about all of this. Ever had a woman get in her car and speed
off in disgust after an apparently perfectly good date up until the
very end? Welcome to the "Failure To Deploy" fraternity. Lets
just say it wasn't "disinterest".
Dude...I don't know what you've been reading. But all American
women are NOT greedy manipulators who want to "wear the pants".
What the great ones ARE, though, is starved for masculine
confidence and leadership, overworked, overwrought and deathly
afraid of looking like "sluts". For them, "wearing the pants" by
default BLOWS. Outside of Cuba Gooding Jr.'s wife in "Jerry
Maguire", show me a woman who "wear the pants" in a relationship
and I'll show you a BITTER woman who resents her WEAK husband.
Your job is to make things go the way you envision them with women
who are clearly interested in you, and then watch in awe as they
THANK YOU for it.
I sense you may appreciate an example, so here goes.
It's like this.
Any bonehead can get on a moped and putt around the neighborhood.
But how about a GSX-R 1000? If you try to ride one of those lil'
screamers like you're afraid of it and/or don't understand its
capabilities, it'll spit you off and likely flatten you. At best
you'll look pretty stupid in front of your friends.
However, if you've practiced your bike handling skills, know how to
respect horsepower and pilot the thing with duly earned authority
that same 180hp high-tech masterpiece is probably the safest motorcycle
on the street, and certainly more rewarding in every way than the
moped. And of course, if you ride the moped on the interstate
you'll become roadkill in no time...with "Kenworth" tattooed on your
forehead.
That chick was a GSX-R 1000 among MOTOS.
Be Good,
Scot
=====
There you have it. The man who deserves a great woman neither
"chases" her nor expects HER to chase him. Instead, he LEADS. And
that VERY MUCH involves making the first moves and taking the risks.
You see, "power" is not something you should be so guarded about
"giving away". In fact, when you help a woman feel empowered
to trust you and believe in your leadership, the ultimate irony is
that you become more powerful--especially in her eyes. They she
gives you the very same overwhelming approval that we all crave so
much yet which eludes all of the "needy" guys.
Perhaps one percent of all men understand the kind of stuff we're
talking about right now.
ONE PERCENT.
And it's really not that complicated, is it?
The thing is, though, that it requires DISCIPLINE and CHARACTER.
Most men just don't want to be bothered with that. For them,
"openers" and "day two techniques" are enough to get them to
"whatever comes next" with women...kind of like living "paycheck to
paycheck" serves that purpose when it comes to finances.
If you're fed up with mediocrity and are ready to STOP SETTLING,
then I'm ready to help you get there. By now you know that I do
not hide in an "ivory tower" like other "dating gurus" all alone
with me, myself and my ego.
Forget this "Sage On The Stage" stuff. Consider me your "Guide At
Your Side".
To show you that I'm 100% committed to taking personal interest in
YOUR SUCCESS, here's what I've got for you:
If you haven't put two and two together, VIRTUOSITY is all about
answering high-quality questions. There is virtually ZERO FLUFF,
and we've pretty much skipped reiterating the same old "basics"
you've heard over and over again.
Only men who will stop at nothing short of deserving the greatest
women on Earth need apply, and those who do are not disappointed.
RIGHT NOW, up until the STROKE OF MIDNIGHT on 31 December EST (GMT
-5) I'm going to crank up the half-hour of 1-on-1 coaching time
included within VIRTUOSITY to a FULL HOUR.
And yes...you can make that two separate half-hour sessions if you'd
like.
PLUS...I'm going to give you 35% OFF on the spot.
Do the math, gentlemen. That's $160.55 USD. My single-session
coaching rate is $150 per hour.
PLUS...you still get Online Dating Domination rolled in AND a written
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aspect of becoming the ONE MAN who great women want in their lives
that we can think of is covered...and when we think of more, we'll
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Seriously, can you see why I'm able to leave this window open ONLY
until the "ball drops" on Times Square in New York?
I want you to know that I am committed to each and every one of you
who is in turn HIMSELF committed to getting this part of his life
handled for 2008.
And yes, with VIRTUOSITY you have the backing of 46 (!) "white hat"
experts along with me as you reach your goal and live your dreams.
But I can only accommodate a finite number of hours spent
personally coaching you, especially considering some have been
jumping on the Ten-Plus program lately also. And those who work
fast to take advantage of this opportunity are the ones who will
receive the FULL BENEFIT.
So here's the coupon code to use when ordering: "NEWYEAR".
Enter it to receive an instant 35% off of VIRTUOSITY and to entitle
yourself to that FULL HOUR of one-on-one coaching to do with as you
see fit.
To order now go here:
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/virtuosity/order
...And by popular demand, here's a quick reference "cheat sheet" in
PDF format so you can quickly find out EXACTLY what's included:
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/virtuosity/cheatsheet.pdf
(Note: This document does not reflect the special full-hour of
1-on-1 coaching...that's a special for YOU ONLY until we ring in 2008)
...And if you have been living under a rock since September 28th and
have not yet read all about VIRTUOSITY, learn more (and grab a free
BONUS podcast) here:
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/virtuosity/special
Enjoy the holiday weekend and I'll talk to you again soon.
Be Good,
Scot
=====
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