[X&Y] 6 Lame Excuses For Staying With The Wrong Woman
Published: Fri, 01/18/08
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com
(www.deservewhatyouwant.com)
https://secure.plimus.com/jsp/branded_store.jsp?developerId=45835&showCategories=N
(www.deservewhatyouwant.com/store)
http://www.edumckaytion.com/blog
(www.edumckaytion.com/blog)
=====
IN THIS EDITION: It's shockingly easy to end up in a
relationship with the WRONG woman. So why can it be so hard to hit
the "eject" button and GET OUT? Also, be sure to read all the way
to the bottom for a RARE opportunity...
=====
SIX LAME EXCUSES FOR STAYING WITH THE WRONG WOMAN
By now you know that we talk a lot around here about deserving what
you want. By definition, this means becoming the kind person who
can attract the MOTOS (Members Of The Opposite Sex) we dream about.
But importantly, it ALSO means we have to know how to RECOGNIZE
great ones and ELIMINATE the wrong ones from our lives. Then and
ONLY then do we have a clear shot at entering that magical realm
affectionately known as "full control over one's dating life".
Once we get over personal issues related to confidence (e.g. "Great
women? That's for other guys...they'll never want ME.") and/or
flat-out laziness it's time to take inventory regarding the kind of
women we as guys have been inviting into our lives. As you've
heard me talk about before, all too many guys get into the position
of waking up one day and finding themselves married to a woman they
didn't even CHOOSE.
How on earth does that happen? Well, it all begins when they hook
up with someone out of pure convenience or even coincidence who
happened to like them some. But what perpetuates it is the
simple truth that even when a guy finds himself in such a mediocre
situation, he STILL doesn't end things.
Below are six lame-o (but unfortunately very common) excuses that
we as guys use to fool ourselves into staying in relationships that
are far from fulfilling. And really all of what we're talking
about today is equal opportunity, so any ladies out there listen
up. By the way--FAIR WARNING--I'm about to lay it on the line in a
starkly forthright manner, so get ready.
1) "But The Sex Is Pretty Good"
Man, if this isn't the battle cry of the sex-focused yet desperate
man. The insidious thought here is that if the breakup happens,
he isn't going to be "getting any"...maybe for a LONG time.
This isn't merely shortsighted, it completely lacks vision
altogether. Often the same guys who regard "sexual variety" as an
exciting thought are the exact ones who stay with the same woman
just because their sex life might suffer if they don't. I'm not
sure whether this is "oxymoronic" or just "moronic". But such are
the tricks a guy's mind can play on him when sex alone is the focus.
I don't care who the woman is, after you have had sex with her a
number of times you are going to know your way around and need
something MUCH deeper to sustain a relationship. Need proof?
Okay, for all you "one handed web surfers" out there, find the
most smoking hottie on the web you can find. Get all the video clips
and pics you can handle. How long is it going to be until you are
bored and looking for the next one? I give you fifteen
minutes...tops. Real life is no different. If it's all about the
sex, your priorities are messed up.
By the way, there's another angle to this. If you are staying with
a woman because the sex is particularly good, I've got news for
you. Women tend to respond to a man's leadership in the bedroom.
Great sex starts with YOU. Once you can ignite feminine passion,
you'll find that women respond. Then again, if you are
"sex-focused yet desperate man" as mentioned, you have a very real
point in believing you "got lucky" if the woman you are currently
with is sexually exciting.
2) "But She's The HOTTEST One I've Ever Been With"
This concept follows the one above very closely. When a guy who is
used to dating mediocre women finds himself with a particularly hot
one, it's disarmingly simple to fall into a trap of believing he'll
never in a million years be able to repeat such good fortune.
Now, once the woman picks up on this one of three things can
happen. First, his insecurity will cause her to realize she's way
out of his league and the breakup will take care of itself...courtesy
of her. Second, she may be an outstanding woman of all-around
character to match her external beauty and everyone's happy--and
rightly so. BUT...she may also opportunistically proceed to take
full advantage of the situation and steamroll the guy into
oblivion. This third situation is the one I'm most interested in
for now.
What's the cure for letting go of the hottest woman you've ever
been with when you know she's poisonous? Easy. If you can do this
once, you can do it again. How's that for an uncomplicated answer?
It's all a matter of personal confidence. It was not a fluke that
she was attracted enough to you to be with you. Other women will
feel the same way...and if you continue to build upon your masculine
character and confidence level you'll find that you may even RAISE
THE BAR. I've lost count of the number of guys I know who have
finally kicked the wrong (but hot) woman out of their lives only to
slap themselves upside the head sooner than later for not having
done so months (or even years) earlier.
3) "I Don't Want To Make Her Cry...I'd Feel Like A Bad Guy"
Granted, most guys don't like to make women cry. And this isn't
even about women being "emotional manipulators" most of the time.
We as guys do this to ourselves, simply because we want to avoid
something that is unpleasant and will perhaps cause some sense of
guilt. The truth is that if the breakup needs to happen, putting
an upsetting moment off is only increasing the potential agony
later. Imagine the tears if you are headed to divorce court years
from now...with little kids in the balance.
4) "Aw Man...I'd Have To Start Completely Over"
Okay, there can indeed be some insecurity at issue here. But
really this is usually all about flat-out laziness. Even if the
relationship falls short of expectations it's often just way to
COMFORTABLE to stick around. Otherwise, a guy has to go out and
meet some other woman, go through the whole "get to know you"
process, meet the parents again, build another whole history, etc.
And why would all of that sound like drudgery as opposed to
something that's actually exciting? Truth be told, staying in
stale relationships can in these cases literally be a matter of
continuing to wake up doing exactly what went on yesterday rather
than TAKING ACTION. That's right...pure PROCRASTINATION.
Not surprisingly, many guys report a feeling of having had a
"weight lifted off their shoulders" when they finally make the
right call in these situations and break things off. Go figure.
By the way, for most people who deserve what they want it takes
way, way less time to make a real, valid connection with someone
new than they think. I've personally met someone online in the
morning, gone to coffee in the afternoon and soon shared a mutual
feeling of "having known each other for ten years". Knowing that's
a fully replicable scenario can take the edge off of having to
"start over", huh?
5) "It's Just A Phase...We'll Figure It Out And Get Through It"
Also known as "denial". So you think that an inability to get
along, be sexually compatible and/or share a common core belief
system is going to "change over time"? You're deluding yourself.
And you're in especially deep yogurt if she's telling you that
"having a baby" will "bring you closer together".
Don't shout me down for telling the truth. It never ceases to
amaze me how I can repeatedly encounter couples in public who can't
stand each other...and they aren't even married.
6) "She Just Has This Way Of Talking Me Out Of It"
I'll tell you, some women are world-class expert salespeople.
Their determination is impressive at times. Impressive enough to
cause you to keep her around, perhaps even after you've openly
expressed a desire to move on. This can present itself through
such classic statements as: "I just haven't been myself
lately...give me a chance", "How can you throw away something so
GOOD?", and "You just don't know what you want yet--you'll wake up
and see how great I am for you soon."
The, of course, there's my personal least-favorite, the infamous:
"What? Do you think you're EVER going to find someone else as good
as me?". Yeah, yeah. See #2 above. That's manipulation at it's
worst.
For all six of the examples above, another sentiment usually
applies and is common to each. That's the whole notion of, "Hey,
there's always someone out there worse off than I am, right?" This
is not the mindframe of someone who regards him or herself as
deserving what he or she wants, is it?
The bottom line is this: He (or she) who stays with someone long
after the breakup probably should have happened SETTLES.
And "settling" invariably leads to bitterness. The one who feels
he or she could have "done better" has his or her nose pressed to
the glass looking out at "greener grass" elsewhere...probably with a
nauseous feeling all the while. But what of the person who has
been "settled for"? Is he or she doing cartwheels over his or her
good fortune? Not on your life...the feeling of not being wanted by
your "significant other" is one of the most empty, humiliating and
degrading feelings imaginable.
The truth is EVERYONE SUFFERS when people SETTLE.
Having shared with you the life truths I have today, I've decided
it's time to make one of the most powerful tools imaginable
available to you.
Until now, my fourth book Never, Ever Settle has been exclusively
available to VIRTUOSITY members. And to be sure, it serves as a
quintessentially perfect companion guide to VIRTUOSITY because it's
all about achieving excellence.
And true to its title, Never, Ever Settle covers every aspect of
eliminating any shred of mediocrity or acceptance thereof in your
life and making the very real transformation into one who enjoys
the kind of success with MOTOS that few even have the courage
and/or imagination to DREAM possible.
It's all there in black and white...delivered in a practical manner
that's simple and fun to read. No "Jedi mind tricks"...just REAL
WORLD steps.
If you have read Deserve What You Want, Never, Ever Settle is the
logical continuation. And it's a "must read" for ANYONE who is
ready to stop idle chatter about attracting great MOTOS and GET ON
WITH IT.
I do not plan on making Never, Ever Settle available by itself for
long. You won't find a fancy page with bullet points and
testimonials (because frankly the rave reviews for VIRTUOSITY
rarely limit themselves to just the book).
But I have set up a special order page for now so you can get your
hands on it while the opportunity exists. And as fortune would
have it, the latest Power Session (that's all of two days old)
happens to be on "Practical Steps To Real Confidence". You can get
that along with Never, Ever Settle simply by checking a box. It's
all here:
https://secure.plimus.com/jsp/buynow.jsp?contractId=1731678
And if you are a man who is ready to take an even bigger step and
do absolutely everything it takes to become one of the very few men
on the planet who deserve the highest echelon of women, then you
can learn about VIRTUOSITY and all the other resources we have
available to you for accomplishing exactly that in ONE PLACE at our
BRAND NEW online X & Y Communications store:
https://secure.plimus.com/jsp/branded_store.jsp?developerId=45835&showCategories=N
Until next time, be sure to check out the blog a few times as I'll
be posting several new entries between now and next week--including
video at least one that is decidedly edgier than you're used to
from me, but at the same time EXTREMELY practical...
Be Good,
Scot
P.S. Do you believe your challenges are very unique? If so, and you
are committed to deserving what you want, then you're ready for 1-on-1
coaching. Put us to work for YOU:
http://www.dating-coaches.com/
=====
Did a friend forward you this message? To receive this free
newsletter on 21st century dating issues from X & Y Communications
on a regular basis, simply go to
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com
(www.deservewhatyouwant.com)
drop your email in the annoying popup window, and download "Get What
You Deserve" for free. Or, just email
xandy@aweber.com
Easy stuff.
Questions? Ideas? Comments? Send to
questions@xandycommunications.net
Your feedback is welcome. If
you like what you read, please feel free to forward the newsletter
to others. That's how we build our audience.
X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's all about straight talk about the most
creative subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles
while being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic stuff you've heard a million times isn't
rehashed around here. Enjoy!
Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute
professional advice.
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2005-2008. All Rights Reserved.
Pin Yourself (with a picture and a comment, por favor):
www.frappr.com/xandy
(http://www.frappr.com/xandy)
Be Our Friend:
www.puaconnect.com/scotmckay/
(http://www.puaconnect.com/scotmckay/)
Discussion Forum:
www.deservewhatyouwant.com/forum
(http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/forum)
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.
Our records indicate that at requested information
by e-mail from our company at:
Date:
IP: