[X&Y] The Real Reason Why Women Bail On You
Published: Tue, 04/08/08
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IN THIS EDITION: You meet a woman. Everything is going great.
Then...she's GONE. What happened? Stay tuned for the surprising
answers.
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THE MESSAGE BOARD HAS BEEN COMPLETELY RE-BUILT: We have COMPLETELY
RE-LAUNCHED the forum. I've listened to your feedback and it now
features black text on white and numerous BRAND NEW forum headings.
Stop by, introduce yourself (there's a special place for that), and
help get this community off to the kind of start it should have had
from the very beginning.
Yet another resource from us that's all yours for f-r-e-e.
And now, get ready to discover a whole new outlook on a painfully
common problem...
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THE REAL REASON WHY WOMEN BAIL ON YOU
Here's one that every single one of us as guys has faced. Ready?
You meet a woman you really like. The phone conversations go well.
You arrange to hang out together. That goes great also.
She may even flirt like gangbusters and all but attack you first when
you go for the kiss.
Maybe you go out with her again. And it goes great...again.
Then...NOTHING. She evaporates.
Or at the very least she texts you or leaves some lame voice mail
saying in some "code language" that she can't see you anymore.
Your first impression, if you're a normal guy who drinks beer and
bleeds red, is that YOU blew it somehow.
And that makes sense. After all, kill the attraction by being
creepy or wimpy and, well, women sort of bail on you.
But what if you've analyzed every single angle of this thing (as
apparently is a favorite pastime of most of the guys I know) and
you're at a total loss.
You're beating your head up against the wall (figuratively, let's
hope) and coming up with nothing but question marks.
OK, well maybe she met someone else. You've been "kicked off the
island", like the recent video-blog I did talked about.
That sucks. But it's a possibility.
And if all else fails, you'll probably think that must have been
what happened. Then you invariably start wondering what he's got
that you don't.
Not so fast, hombre.
There's another option.
But you're going to have to change your inwardly focused ways to
get to it.
And fair warning...this is yet another "high quality problem", albeit
a flat-out weird one.
To set up the scenario here, let's first consider something basic.
Women can suffer from the exact same brand of anxieties,
self-esteem issues and other "limiting beliefs" that we can as
guys.
Of course, sometimes such women are amazing, terrific and even
stunning to most everyone else...but themselves.
What if the truth is that you have become a man who's getting the
"Big Four" (masculinity, confidence, ability to inspire confidence,
character) down more and more every day?
Sometimes a woman will simply refuse to believe that she deserves a
high-quality man in her life.
Shockingly, I've found that whether or not a woman feels this way
has almost no correlation to how amazing she REALLY is. So you
might not be able to spot her right away.
And there's another possible twist to this phenomenon, too.
Believe it or not, you'd be shocked by how often some women meet a
guy who is solid in every way and decide he's "too good to be
true".
Once again, this guy could very well be YOU if you've been paying
attention to what we've been talking about around here lately.
Having attracted a parade of I/J's (Idiot/Jerks), mama's boys and
wussies forever, in either of the situations I just described the
woman may "pull the plug" on you as a "preemptive strike".
That way, she doesn't have to risk you twisting her emotions into
knots later when you dump her, which in her mind is all but
inevitable.
Don't say I didn't warn you this was a bizarre concept. But we're
talking advanced-level Chick Whispering here for sure.
I've personally been on dates where the woman announced, out of the
blue, that she was ready for the "real version" of me to jump out
from behind a bush or something at any moment. Should you hear
something like that, it's a primary indicator that what I'm talking
about is going on.
And if you are hearing stuff like that on dates from time to time,
pay attention and file that intelligence away. Because the next
time around you may not get any clues at all.
Just the "freeze out" or the "hit and run" voice mail message.
But here's the thing: Once you can RECOGNIZE when there's a
possibility something like what we're discussing here is going on,
you can actually DO SOMETHING about it.
Here's the deal.
When a woman "wimps out" (e.g. from a relationship they believe
they are not worthy of, or as a "preemptive strike" against getting
hurt), it's up to the man to TAKE CONTROL.
If we want out and let her go, that's our business. And it could
be the right decision.
Or...we can elect to rise to the occasion, become righteously
indignant and show some well-placed but firm emotion about it.
I've done exactly that with great effect in the past.
Sometimes you can really inspire women here by becoming upset with
them for not believing in their own beauty, and overall value
really.
I've even told women that their lack of faith in my attraction to
them was in fact to be taken as an insult of my own choices, since
I chose her willingly.
I don't associate myself closely with substandard women, and her
assumption to the contrary--even when inwardly focused--was not
going to be excused as "modesty" when it was clear she was
seriously doubting her worth.
I'd tell her that was flatly unacceptable behavior...and often I'd
get tangible results.
And so can you in these situations. Women follow our lead.
If you've been reading these newsletters for a while, you know that
what you read about here is way beyond "the basics".
Sure, you've got to know how to be that man who knows what great
women want, and how to make it happen.
You've got to know how to approach a woman. You've go to know how
to talk to her.
But you've ALSO got to get past the "paint by numbers" approach and
soar above having to ask "What do I do next?"
And the more you know, the greater your advantage is over other guys.
And the more you know, the sooner you RAISE THE BAR when it comes
to the quality of the women in your life.
You've heard me tell you that this isn't as far away or elusive as
it may seem.
In fact, the exact amount of time you may spend learning techniques
and tactics could even be MORE than what it would have taken to
become an authentic man who NATURALLY and EFFORTLESSLY succeeds with
the highest echelon of women.
And by "effortless", I mean that it happens without you having to
stop and consider, "What should I do next?"
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overwhelmed--by what VIRTUOSITY represents.
You just don't know if it can make as big a difference in YOUR LIFE
as it has for so many other guys.
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I suppose so. After all, you can indeed cancel before the week is
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That's what I've got for now. Back to the taxes!
Have a great week, and I'll talk to you again soon.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. YES...the slowness issue on the blog has been fixed. To
celebrate, I've posted a new video AND the third part of my series
on breakups (which as fortune would have it follows up this
newsletter nicely):
http://www.edumckaytion.com/blog
P.P.S. There will be a new The Chick Whisperer out this week.
Probably tomorrow (Thursday). You'll love the topic...all practical
all the time. Hint: If you can't make your long flights just a BIT
more enjoyable after we're through with you, it's not our fault...
=====
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