[X&Y] The "Settle Test"
Published: Thu, 07/24/08
http://www.edumckaytion.com/blog
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IN THIS EDITION: When you meet someone new, you tend to be stoked
about it. But if you are thinking long-term, are you really
kidding yourself? How EXACTLY can you tell when you've truly
raised the bar to the point where "settling" is a thing of the past?
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THE "SETTLE TEST"
Just yesterday, I was on the phone with a friend.
During the course of the conversation, we began talking about how
amazing it is that so many people are more willing to take the
first option that comes along when it comes to dating and
relationships than to do what it takes to become a man or a woman
who can CHOOSE from MANY OPTIONS.
Ultimately, so many of us feel completely powerless when it comes
to actually being able to attract who we truly want, that when the
first person comes along who shows any level of attraction we jump
right. Sometimes we do so and never look back.
If you perform a Google search on "number of lifetime sex
partners", you'll quickly find that darn near 25% of adults (at
least in North America) report having had exactly one partner in
their life.
Sure, there are always those who have the "high school sweetheart"
story going on.
But not withstanding that, you and I both know that there are a
WHOLE LOT of people out there who are flat-out, straight-up SETTLING.
Worse, even though they KNOW they've settled, they stay in the
relationship anyway. All too often, they end up getting MARRIED.
Why?
Well, there's a whole litany of potential excuses.
"It was just time to get married, and this was who I was dating at
the time."
Or, "Well, nobody's perfect...and I don't want to be too picky."
Or, "Hey...some people out there have NOBODY. I should count myself
as LUCKY."
And, of course, the one that truly makes me cringe: "She was
willing to put up with me."
But here's the thing.
Sometimes, you really can be fairly excited about having met a
certain woman early on. You can even be genuinely HOT for her.
Particularly if you haven't been experiencing a dating life full of
rich options lately, you could actually meet a woman who exceeds
your expectations and be on Cloud 9 for a while there.
Only after time has passed and you wake up one morning feeling
dissatisfied will the reality set in that you had in fact SETTLED.
Scary stuff, isn't it?
There's no wonder so many women think guys are "commitment phobes".
The truth is sometimes we SHOULD BE.
So how do we solve this problem? How can you know UP FRONT that
you may wake up feeling like you settled someday?
I mean, how can you really get some 20/20 FORESIGHT here, for a
change?
I'm glad you asked.
Here, before your very eyes, I'm about to roll out--for the first
time ever--a lucky seven ways you can TEST a new relationship for
"Settlement Potential":
1) When considering a brand new woman to date, teleport yourself
into the future and HONESTLY consider how you'll feel having been
exclusive with JUST her for a few months.
You may think she's pretty sharp, but if you honestly evaluate the
situation do you already know she's lacking in a few places that
you are going to seriously wish she wasn't after the novelty of the
relationship wears off?
Every day you may see women you find somewhat attractive, and each
will endear themselves to you in a distinct way--and to a varying
degree.
With that sea of women around you, understand that building
long-term plans with a woman who doesn't bring your vision of the
"complete package" to the table is going to mean inevitable
comparison to other women down the road.
And that's not going to be a positive for either of you.
2) How do you feel about introducing her to your friends?
She may be attractive to you, but are you sort of embarrassed to
take her out in public? Do you fear your friends are going to
think you could "do better"?
Is there a chance she'll publicly humiliate you in a social
setting?
If you're feeling any of this stuff, it makes no logical sense to
form a "partnership" with her.
3) Imagine you have already seen her naked 100 times and had sex
with her about as often.
Are you going to have long since been bored? Do you already look
at her and realize she isn't everything you want in the attraction
department?
Even if you are obsessed over her extreme hotness, have you
considered that if the entire relationship has been built around
sex that you WILL burn out sooner than later...perhaps based on sheer
familiarity?
4) Do you enjoy her company?
This might sound like a goofball question. But based on what I've
seen out there, I had to ask.
She may be the "best thing" who has come along in years, or so you
think. But are you basing that premise purely on physical
attraction? If she gets on your nerves now--or vice-versa--that
isn't going to get any better later, I can assure you.
5) Is life more fulfilling with her in it?
Are you looking forward to taking her with you on the next
adventure you have planned, or would you much rather leave her at
home to watch Lifetime Channel while you spend time with your
friends instead?
Do you foresee your future plans and lifelong dreams coming to
fruition with her in your life, or being postponed--if not scuttled
completely?
6) Are you trying to overlook serious character issues?
Are you sticking your head in the sand when it's clear she has
addictions, jealousy issues or a demonstrated history of
disrespecting you?
Are you fully confident she wouldn't cheat on you or betray you in
some other way?
Do you get this strange feeling that there's something about her
you're not being told?
7) Do you envy guys who appear to have higher-quality women with
them?
Do you get that nauseous feeling in the pit of your stomach when
you go out and see other guys with women you perceive to be higher
quality?
Have you actually gone so far as to COUNT how many guys in a
particular public place you'd gladly trade places with?
Do you come home from social events feeling angry or even resentful
toward your woman even though she didn't do anything in particular
to cause it?
Did some of those concepts hit home for you?
It really doesn't matter whether you have a woman in your life
right now or not. The stuff we're talking about here must become
part of your mindset as you evaluate the potential of various women
who step into your life.
Usually when you take a test like this, you end up with a "sliding
scale" to score yourself with.
Not this time, man.
This is like horseshoes and hand grenades. It's "all or nothing".
If you've compromised ANYWHERE, you're settling.
I know that the simple fact you are here reading this newsletter
alone represents that you are one of those who refuse to accept
mediocrity.
Deserving what you want is the ONLY WAY TO FLY, and you know that
already.
If you haven't had the chance to read my first book Deserve What
You Want yet, you're missing out on the benefit of having a
complete roadmap at your fingertips to making sure you make the
RIGHT CHOICES when it comes to women.
Discover what you want, how to become the man who deserves it, and
how to GO GET IT...once and for all. Right now, you can enter
"xy25off" in the "Optional Info" field when ordering and I'll take
25% off:
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/men
You can do this more quickly than you think. The time it takes to
"settle proof" yourself will be a DROP IN THE BUCKET compared to a
lifetime spent with the WRONG WOMAN.
And even if you're not so much into reading, I've set you up with
the entire book in MP3 form so you can listen instead. It's like
getting six hours worth of coaching from me personally.
Here's the link again:
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/men
By the way, I've just upped the guarantee on everything from 90
days to 365 DAYS.
From now on, you get an ENTIRE YEAR to decide if Deserve What You
Want, Online Dating Domination, Virtuosity or any other book or
program lives up to the promise of helping you meet real-world goals.
I can only do this, of course, because the vast majority of those
who are willing to take the first step toward TAKING ACTION to get
better with women by deserving what they want are GLAD THEY DID.
Don't ever settle, gentlemen. And I remain convinced that you
really don't ever have to. Life is too short. All you need is the
right plan and the willingness to DO SOMETHING to make it happen.
I'll talk to you again in a few days.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. The lastest episode of The Chick Whisperer is getting a lot
of love, mainly because the topic (shyness and introversion) is
such a HUGE one for many of you guys.
I was getting tons of e-mail asking for input on it, so my friend
Jae Ellis and I threw down a whole episode devoted to it.
Find it on iTunes in the podcast section under "Health/Self-Help"
or subscribe right here:
http://feeds.feedburner.com/thechickwhisperer
P.P.S. In case you're curious, YES...I absolutely did fulfill upon
what I promised last time. The new Online Dating Domination
program additions are LIVE.
And yes, you're reading that right. There are TWO NEW PROGRAMS,
including the "Advanced Domination Mastery" program and another on
how to make instant messaging work for you.
http://www.onlinedatingdomination.com
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