[X&Y] Are You "Settling" Before You Even Meet Her?
Published: Wed, 09/17/08
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IN THIS EDITION: Let's talk about when rejection happens at times
you least expect it. In fact...sometimes it could be a backhanded
compliment. It also could mean you're "settling" before you even
get started...
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NEW VIDEO REVEALS ALL
If you've scored The Leading Man sometime since it's release this
past Saturday, you certainly aren't alone.
And considering the price is going to $147 this coming Saturday
because of all of the latest (and upcoming) additions, I'd say you
did very well for yourself.
And fortunately, there's still three days left to get in on that
release-week special if you haven't already.
But I do understand some of you may have a few more questions you
want answered.
A few of the main ones could be, "Is the order process straight
forward?" or, "Is there flexibility in how I can order?" and
certainly, "How do I know I'm going to get exactly what I'm
expecting?"
Well, I've put together a seven-minute video that explains all of
that and more...including a full tour of the actual Member's Area for
The Leading Man.
Watch it here :
http://www.the-leading-man.com/tour
And now, onto this week's admittedly crazy topic...
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ARE YOU "SETTLING" BEFORE YOU EVEN MEET HER?
If you'll recall, a few months ago we talked about the preposterous
notion of women with low self-esteem "punishing themselves" by
being with guys who clearly wouldn't deserve them...were these women,
of course, only able to see themselves as others do.
Well, that newsletter drew a particularly large amount of curiosity
from many who read it. And rightly so...the ideas in it are
completely foreign to what the Seduction Community tends to teach
us about women.
[Ed. Note: If you missed that newsletter, you can find it on the
RSS feed linked to under "Power Content" at the main site. It's
the 11th one down the list.]
Lately, however, having spent more time thinking about that concept
I've come to a stunning realization: WE AS GUYS DO IT TOO.
Yes, you heard me correctly.
A lot of us, as guys, are telling ourselves we don't deserve women
we ACTUALLY ALREADY DESERVE.
And the results, of course, are disastrous.
It ends up being kind of like one self-fulfilling prophecy after
another...which makes perfect sense, when you consider that women
FOLLOW OUR LEAD.
Perhaps you've heard the saying, "You get what you hope for." Well
sometimes, if not usually, you get what you hope AGAINST also.
As you probably know already, the guys who pick up the phone and
call me aren't often guys who are starting from square one with
women.
Some are, and that's fine also. But they aren't typical.
Most guys who call me are interested in going from GOOD to GREAT
with women. They are sick of "settling" and are ready to move on
to having the highest-quality women in their lives.
But invariably, guys I talk to--even the ones who are at square
one--are genuinely good men with a lot going for them. That goes
whether they have a dating life at the moment or not.
I've noticed an odd pattern, though. It's one that is especially
evident when they try online dating--although everything I'm about
to cover applies to meeting women elsewhere too, so hang with me
here.
The pattern is this: They get rejected...A LOT. And they flat-out
cannot understand why even average women are repeatedly blowing
them out. We're talking ZERO success.
After all, they've got SO MUCH to offer a woman. What's up with
these chicks? Can't they see that?
Well, here it is: YES...those women they CAN see that. And that's
EXACTLY the problem.
Here's what I mean.
For the sake of argument, let's draw a picture of a
quintessentially perfect guy who should have no "limiting beliefs"
whatsoever.
Consider a successful professional. Let's say he's 35-years-old,
in peak physical condition and financially stable. Better yet,
he's got the "Big Four" in full effect.
But perhaps he's getting over "Mr. Nice Guy" stuff, or he's coming
off a brutal break-up of a multi-year relationship that has knocked
him flat.
For some reason, he's not enjoying a wildly successful dating life
at the moment.
So based on advice he picked up somewhere along the way, he decides
to go after some "average" women online to "warm up" his skills...and
perhaps build his confidence.
Well, that ends up not happening. In fact, his confidence takes a
massive hit instead.
NOBODY responds. NOT ONE WOMAN.
His head spins. Clearly his pictures sucked, his profile wasn't
sharp enough and his first-emails lacked SOMETHING...right?
So he tightens everything up and goes for a second round.
Yet...all he hears in return are pins dropping and crickets chirping.
Dejected, he GIVES UP.
Well, guess what?
His initial self-assessment was 100% correct. He DOES have tons to
offer a great woman.
The problem? HE WASN'T GOING AFTER GREAT WOMEN.
Instead, he e-mailed women he considered "average" enough that they
were sure to like him.
Well, yeah...ironically enough, they DID like him.
But they probably also were fully INTIMIDATED by him, and were left
wondering, "What on Earth does a guy like THAT want with a woman
like ME?"
Yep...these are the thoughts that go through some women's minds.
If you think I'm kidding you should read Emily's mail sometime.
Women who don't value themselves as highly as they should seriously
AVOID writing back the sharpest guys.
They automatically assume ulterior motives...and that's IF they don't
somehow believe that the guy's profile (and could that be YOUR
PROFILE?) is a fake or a scam.
Raise your hand if YOU have ever actually gone through a "slump"
online only to finally get a date and have a woman say, "So,
um....when's the REAL version of you going to jump out from behind a
bush? You're TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE."
If that has happened to you, here's the deal: You are SETTLING
before you even get STARTED. Just like I'm talking about here.
Now listen, this isn't something to beat yourself up over. The
"rejection" you are perceiving could really be a series of
backhanded compliments.
No joke.
In fact, I personally suffered through an embarrassingly long stage
of it myself.
But the breakthrough came for me when I realized that it was time
to TRUST the process I had worked so diligently on. I had spent
ENOUGH time learning how to be the kind of man women truly want. I
had spent ENOUGH time on figuring out how women think.
It was time to "fly without a net" and actually start approaching
the VERY SHARPEST WOMEN out there...online OR offline.
I put my fire suit on, believe me. After all, like most of us, I
considered the highest-quality women UNTOUCHABLE.
But here's the thing...when I started focusing on the women I REALLY
FELT I DESERVED, great things started happening.
That's the breakthrough that resulted in solid response rates
online. That's what really started to "raise the bar" all around.
Why?
Well, simply enough, great women realize they DESERVE a
high-quality guy. And when he shows up, they TAKE NOTICE.
And guess what? Time and again I've watched guys I know experience
a similar breakthrough.
It all started for them when they put their thoughts of having lots
to offer a great woman into GEAR, once and for all.
So what's the deal? Do you suspect you are what a great woman
should want, but you aren't going after great women?
Are you feeling rejected, when in reality you've been intimidating
"average" women with your above average expectations?
Are your requirements in a woman not backed up by your willingness
to swing for the fence in trusting the great ones REALLY ARE
waiting for you to approach them?
Have you ever stopped to think that were you to actually get those
"average" women to go out with you, NEITHER of you would be happy?
Meanwhile, have you ever considered that the truly sharpest women
are often the most likely to go DATELESS?
I told you this newsletter was going to involve yet another CRAZY
concept. But it's not so crazy once you discover how your REALITY
changes...if only you'll put what we're talking about here into
practice.
Be a man. Lead. Deserve what you want. And give those great
women the rare, desirable experience in a man that they've been
craving.
My recommendation is to start doing it today. But just in case you
could use a real "wake up call" that puts everything into
perspective for you, I'm going to cover that for you next week.
So stay tuned. If you are the one who is now suddenly intimidated
by going after the high-quality ones, I'll be sharing with you the
mindset for making it happen.
Be Good,
Scot
P.S. Check it out, this past weekend was one of the most intense
ones of my entire life. So I've already given the guys on my Power
Sessions list a "heads up" that I'd need until today (the 17th) to
get the September edition out.
That means that TODAY is Power Sessions 2-for-1 day this month.
Get anything from the store (including The Leading Man), snag the
free month of Power Sessions as a bonus, and you'll score not only
the current Power Session on "How To Have Superpowers With Women",
but also the BRAND NEW one on "Being The Man Of Character Who Women
Crave"...both on the same day.
Here's the link to the "Candy Store" you need:
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/store
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