[X&Y] "I Bet You Tell ALL The Girls That"
Published: Thu, 02/26/09
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IN THIS EDITION: One of the biggest obstacles to flirting with
women for most guys is the stark truth that you're "putting
yourself out there".
After all, showing any degree of interest in a woman opens the door
to potential rejection.
What if it didn't have to be that way? Here's a new mindset that
can TRANSFORM your ability to get over mental blocks and enable you
to flirt effectively.
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"I BET YOU TELL ALL THE GIRLS THAT"
When thinking about the topic of this newsletter today, the first
thing I thought of--for some unknown, crazy reason---was that
now-infamous interview Hall-Of-Fame quarterback Joe Namath did with
Suzy Kolber during an NFL game several years ago.
Clearly drunk, or make that "plastered", Broadway Joe had begun the
interview by commenting on New York Jets quarterback Chad
Pennington's performance.
But in response to Ms. Kolber's follow-up question, he busted out
with "I wanna kiss you". Interestingly, Suzy handled the brouhaha
with aplomb...even appearing to get somewhat of a kick out of it.
If somehow you missed this one back when it happened, here's a
refresher, courtesy of YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQqIQyT-RuM&feature=related
Now, shortly after this crazy moment happened before millions on
live television, Namath solemnly apologized for his actions on
ESPN. Of course.
Here's the thing, though. The alcohol involved here probably only
served to unleash his inhibitions relative to saying such a thing
on national television, and at a particularly, um...inopportune
moment.
Actually SAYING IT, though, was purely his nature.
Anyone who is familiar with Joe Namath's style knew deep down he
probably just being himself. After all, he has been running this
type of "direct game" with women off-camera for over 45 years.
The guy has been known for having TONS of women around since LONG
before he was ever the hero of Super Bowl III.
So what can you learn from a drunk football legend? And better
yet, what can you learn from a sports reporter's nonchalant
handling of his overt flirtation?
Well, obviously, I'm 100% with you in agreeing there's a WHOLE LOT
you can learn NOT to do.
BUT...there's also one VERY KEY principle at play there that is a
hidden pearl of wisdom. And that's what I want to key in on.
Simply put, if flirting is BUILT IN TO YOUR PERSONALITY as part of
your LIFESTYLE, then women know better than to assume their
potential "rejection" wields any real power.
Consider that statement for a moment, because it's a pretty heavy
one.
Essentially, if your HABIT is to banter with women and show
attraction freely, then it's hard for a woman to REALLY know FOR
SURE how meaningful your interest is at first, isn't it?
And this keeps YOU in control of your interactions with women, and
acts as a very real buffer against having to deal with "rejection".
But most guys have made flirting an EXCEPTIONAL BEHAVIOR rather
than a LIFESTYLE HABIT, and therefore they drain themselves of
masculine leadership power every time they interact with a woman.
Let me explain how this works against us and why it matters.
If you, like most guys, tiptoe through life worried about
"offending" women by showing any interest in them, then you are
essentially setting yourself up to be a walking self-fulfilling
prophecy.
That is to say, if it's UNUSUAL for you to ever show interest in a
woman, whenever you ACTUALLY DO SO it will come off as a rather
serious deal...for BOTH you AND the woman.
You will have had to gather yourself, and your words, and pull it
all together for the "big moment".
What does this do? Naturally, it puts the woman in TOTAL CONTROL
of the situation, and you literally at her mercy.
She may be thinking, "Oh wow...this guy REALLY likes me. I've got to
come up with a serious response here."
And indeed, that's where you will have LED in this scenario.
You're left hanging, waiting to see how she reacts to you.
Granted, she might give you the response you're hoping for--or she
may not.
But the fact remains the same: Most guys treat flirting as DEAD
SERIOUS stuff, and this puts women in the "hot seat" every time.
Ironically, she's IN CHARGE, and that's NOT where she WANTS to be
in these situations.
Contrast such a scenario with Broadway Joe's example above. Even
in the context of a major television blunder in the making, you
could sort of tell by Suzy Kolber's reaction that she was giving
him a "free pass" of sorts.
Granted, she's a pro when it comes to broadcasting, so she can
think pretty quickly on her feet.
But as the conversation was happening, you could almost FEEL her
imagining the phrase, "Yeah, sure Joe. I bet you tell ALL THE
GIRLS that." And my guess is about 75% of the viewing audience was
thinking the exact same thing.
And rightly so. Because indeed he DOES "tell all the girls that".
Now I'm NOT going to tell you to "go and do like Joe Namath"
insofar as getting drunk and saying things on TV that require
apologies later.
And I'm not even going to suggest such "direct game" as walking up
to random women and telling them you want to kiss them, necessarily.
In fact, for real-world purposes think of "Lifestyle Flirting" more
in terms of fun, playful banter like we've covered at length in
previous newsletters and in the latest episode of The Chick
Whisperer with Christian Hudson.
But what I AM going to do is ask you to consider the amazing
message conveyed when a woman utters the magic phrase:
"I bet you tell ALL THE GIRLS that."
Do you think for a second Namath gives a rat's tailsection whether
or not Suzy Kolber kisses him or not? Do you think he has already
made her his girlfriend in his mind? Married her? Made babies
with her?
That series of rapid-fire questions got more ridiculous as it
progressed, huh?
Simply put, if you can become a man who is COMFORTABLE with
flirting as a LIFESTYLE, then rejection is OFF THE TABLE.
Instead of giving away unconditional power to women, your
casual---even NON-SELECTIVE--attitude toward interacting with MOTOS
(members of the opposite sex) puts YOU back in control.
As such, women are left at a mysterious loss as to whether you
REALLY would "select" her if given the chance or not.
You are seen as a guy who appreciates ALL great women, therefore
you exhibit ZERO desperation or fear of loss.
When you can view flirting, or even interaction with women of ANY
sort, in such a light it CHANGES EVERYTHING.
Instead of singling out women for flirting, if you can free
yourself up to playfully banter with MOST women wherever you go
you'll sort of hit a "critical mass" before you know it.
And it's wild when you start seeing the effects of this "Lifestyle
Flirting" manifest themselves.
Instead of women feeling SINGLED OUT when you flirt with them,
they'll feel LEFT OUT when you DO NOT.
That's right...the women you flirt with will no longer be on the "hot
seat". Instead, the women you DON'T will want in.
Again, a caveat: We're not necessarily talking about quite as
overt an approach as Broadway Joe's example. All you do here is
simply begin conversations and interact in a fun way.
And I'm not an unreasonable guy. I can't expect you to "flip a
switch" and make this lifestyle change overnight.
But I am going to challenge you to stretch beyond your comfort zone
the next time you are in a social situation where you have the
ability to meet new women, and feel FREE to interact with any or
even all of them---now realizing that the MORE women you enjoy
interacting, the LESS you telegraph "pre-qualification" to any one
of them.
Try it...and be amazed.
And my guess is that you're likely not going to want to stop there.
In fact, are you ready to make AMAZING PROGRESS in your ability to
enrapture women from MINUTE ONE and KEEP THEM ATTRACTED?
The Leading Man is your COMPLETE PLAN for making that happen.
Once you know how to approach women and flirt with them, how to you
LOCK DOWN that "revolving door" of women in your life and KEEP THEM
ATTRACTED?
How do you manage relationships with several women as you
effectively evaluate what you want?
And above all, when you meet the ONE GREATEST WOMAN you've ever
met...WHAT DO YOU DO to keep her in your life?
It's all in The Leading Man. Call it "divorce repellent". Call
it "relationship magic". But whatever you do, don't call it
"unobtainable".
Yes, you can you have the kind of relationship most men will only
ever FANTASIZE about.
And now more than ever, The Leading Man ITSELF is well within your
reach.
For the next 48 HOURS, I'm bringing back the embedded 35% OFF coupon.
I'm ALSO bringing back the F-R-E-E copy of How To Manage Your
Wildly Successful Dating Life to go with it:
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I know you've got places to go and women to meet, so I've made it
easy. The coupon will be embedded in the link to the order page,
and you'll see it reflected on page two.
And definitely be sure to check the box to receive your F-R-E-E
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You can even enjoy a month of e-mail coaching and the newest
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All that, PLUS a world-class collection of bonuses are yours to
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Spring is coming, gentlemen, and women are going to be ALL ABOUT
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I believe you CAN BE, and I've got your back 100%. So jump on
that link above to take a long-overdue look at The Leading
Man...because the time to stop wishing and start LIVING is NOW.
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. Need a link for that latest episode of The Chick Whisperer?
We aim to please:
http://feeds.feedburner.com/thechickwhisperer
You can also get it in the "health/self-help" section under
"podcasts" in iTunes. Cheers.
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Questions? Ideas? Comments? Find me on Twitter.com @scotmckay and
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