[X&Y] Reader Questions And Comments

Published: Sat, 03/21/09

X & Y COMMUNICATIONS WEEKLY NEWSLETTER


=====


IN THIS EDITION: Once you start becoming the kind of man who
attracts women, those women start entering your life.

What if the VERY FIRST one who comes along seems AMAZING enough to
build a relationship with? Here's what you need to know...


=====



OKAY, THERE IS *ONE OTHER* MAJOR LIMITING BELIEF


Thanks to those of you who pointed this out. You can call off the
Dobermans now.

I'm definitely on point now. There should have been an "(un)lucky
seven" limiting beliefs represented in the last newsletter I sent
you.

The seventh one? That would be "I'M TOO OLD."

I really don't know how I left that one out...you guys BOMBARD me
with questions about it A LOT.

It really is a HUGE issue. In fact, some of you are like 24 or 25
and think you're ALREADY too old for 19 or 20 year old women.

Well, the truth is you can look around you and see older guys with
younger women all the time--and vice-versa too, actually.

And if you carry yourself the right way, maintain the same exciting
lifestyle that you need to have going on ANYWAY, you CAN date women
5, 10 or even 15+ years younger than yourself.

Get your head together and begin viewing yourself as YOUNGER WOMEN
view you. That's a major key to ridding yourself of this
particularly sticky limiting belief.

I personally found myself dating women up to 14 years younger than
I--without really even planning it out that way. The ironic truth
is that PLENTY of younger women actually PREFER older guys.

So how about it?

Want some IN DEPTH knowledge that can give you the kind of personal
POWER you want in this particular area? If so, here's something
you're going to want to check out:



http://www.BulletProofSeduction.Com/go.php?offer=xandycom&pid=3



As fortune would have it, I got an e-mail from a couple of friends
of mine telling me they were RE-RELEASING that "Dating Younger
Women" program I told you about last year.

I had been asked to contribute to it, which I did--over an hour's
worth non-stop if I recall. So it's a no-brainer for me to tell
you about it again. Those of you who got your hands on it last
time RAVED about it.

So THIS TIME, they've added EVEN MORE KILLER CONTENT to the
package--all WITHOUT raising the price.

If you want to date younger women, then it's time to stop DREAMING
and start LIVING. And this is the BEST way I know of to make that
a reality SOONER than LATER:



http://www.BulletProofSeduction.Com/go.php?offer=xandycom&pid=3



Take a look and let me know what you think...

And now, here's a great question from Malik that gets to the VERY
CORNERSTONE of relationship management...



=====



READER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS


Hello There Scot,

I just finished listening to the Man In Demand (program 2) of The
Leading Man.

Just a comment before I ask my question.

From the material: "That way when you go visit these other cities
on business or whatever, you're not left hanging out with the
engineers in the hotel lobby drinking beer."

This part was really hilarious--maybe because I have experienced
this quite a few times. I look forward to using the Online Dating
Domination program I also got from you to maximum effect to avoid
this in the future...

So to my question... It's based on the following excerpt:


"And remember guys, there's nothing here that says you can't be
creative. As long as you're having 'The Talk' with women and
setting expectations from a ground level of honesty every single
time you meet a woman, you can structure relationships with women
in different ways.

This is based on how you feel towards a woman, what her
personality type is like, and what her expectations are.

It's just something you've got to manage to, and that's
why were talking about these different types of relationships
here."


I have a female friend now who I like, and she likes me too.

She is very feminine as you talk about all the time. She has
confessed to finding me very different and attractive.

It's just early stages now, but we are on the IM pretty often and
we have discussed which places we should hang out--and we are
pretty excited about it.

I am 27 years old now and I am so enjoying this path of learning
how to become a better man and attract women naturally.

I don't see myself getting married till I am at least 30. In the
meantime, I want to date women and also have at least a couple of
exclusive relationships.

I want to be authentic here with you so that it can help you help
me.

I just want to get to point where I have a lot of options in women,
enjoy a great social life, be great in bed, have dated lots of women,
been in exclusive relationships (had girlfriends) a few times--and
ALL of this like a real man, not in any hypocritical style.

And I want to get married only after I achieve all this.

So I want a exclusive relationship with this female friend of mine,
but I am most likely not going to end up marrying her. I am sure I
will enjoy being with her adding value to each other if we end up
being exclusive.

How do I communicate this to her best? I am also afraid of losing
her if I say this.

I was very sex focused (and only sex) before. Just a few weeks
back I realized this. But I am gradually transforming to the guy
who enjoys dating, being with women and respecting/understanding
them while not losing one's status as a high character man.

I am saying so much because I wanted you to know where I stand, and
would like your candid feedback/answer to my question.


Thanks,

Malik (Singapore)


====


Hello Malik

First of all, I think you'll really enjoy The Leading Man. It's
ALL ABOUT exactly what you are thinking through and dealing with in
your life at the moment.

Also, I commend you for evolving from being focused on sex as the
prize toward recognizing and appreciating the immense depth that
keeping the company of high quality women can bring a man.

It looks like you're already starting to see the amazing reality
that once we as men represent what women REALLY WANT (i.e. the "Big
Four"), our LEADERSHIP in that regard causes us not only to
seriously enthrall women everywhere--it results in US getting what
WE WANT in return also.

And sexual fulfillment is only ONE PART of that "big picture", of
course.

By the way, you'll find (if you haven't already) that WOMEN are
also VERY INTERESTED in sexual fulfillment, and being a "Big Four"
guy will cause that to become VERY apparent to you sooner than later.

Now on to your question.

First, I want to challenge you a bit. If you have no intentions of
marrying someone, why go exclusive with her?

To demonstrate that you'd like exclusivity while acknowledging that
you'd never marry her only shows that you fully PLAN ON getting
sick of her someday.

Either that, or you recognize fundamental differences in her
personality and/or belief system that would be incompatible with
yours long term.

So if the former scenario is correct, why rush through the
"process" of getting to know her? Based on what you've written it
sounds like you've just started hanging out together.

Even though you're emotions are at a high level right now, you've
got to learn MUCH more about her before taking the major step
toward exclusivity.
Take your time, and enjoy getting to know other women also.

But what if the latter scenario is the case, and you already sense
there are very real, baseline differences between the two of you?

If that's what's going on, by going exclusive with her you're only
going to risk developing strong emotional ties to her that are
going to either make a future breakup VERY difficult or cause you
to be drawn in to marrying her some day--despite what you always
told yourself from the beginning.

I am very much of the belief that if you recognize ahead of time
that a woman is not the right one for you long term, then to change
your perspective later would largely be a function of settling for
less than you know you want to deserve.

Certainly, the window of possibility exists that you may meet a
particular woman and start seeing more and more greatness in her
over time.

But in your case you've apparently seen enough to have ALREADY
DECIDED this woman's not marriage material for you. It's that
particular scenario that leads to settling.

Usually, this is something I notice happening when guys don't have
many OPTIONS. When a reasonably attractive woman finally enters a
man's life when he has been starving for female attention, he tends
to want to hold on to her. Ironically, that sort of neediness
tends only to push her away...

But you mentioned you are excited about HAVING OPTIONS. So why
place an artificial barrier to your progress in accomplishing what
you want to?

I could potentially see the utility of having been through an
exclusive relationship or two before entering into marriage, but I
by no means believe it's prerequisite for long-term happiness with
the right woman.

Plenty of people marry their first exclusive girlfriend and are
very happy. As long as you're not SETTLING for less than you want,
that can indeed work out just fine.

But the process of understanding and relating to women is more
effectively served by dating multiple women over time, as is the
process of KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT in a woman.

The more women you date and relate to, the more complete your
mindset will be. It's really as simple as that.

So while I believe you should indeed spend PLENTY of time in an
exclusive relationship with the woman you'd like to build a
lifelong partnership BEFORE marrying her, I don't think having gone
through that process a couple of times only to break up serves any
uniquely positive purpose.

Thanks for your great question, Malik. Enjoy time with the woman
you're hanging out with now, but definitely keep your options open
until you either 1) know her WAY better, or 2) have dated enough
women to have a CLEAR idea of EXACTLY what you want.


Cheers,

Scot


=====


Malik is already seeing BIG CHANGES...not only in his mindset but in
his ability to attract women and manage relationships.

That's because what's in The Leading Man flat-out WORKS. It's a
complete toolkit for everything that comes AFTER meeting a woman
for the first time.

Does that sound like the logical next step for you also?

If it does, you've got the presence of mind to realize what ALL TOO
FEW men ever will: Unless you can MANAGE RELATIONSHIPS
effectively, you're not going to stand a chance of selecting the
RIGHT WOMAN to build a prosperous future with.

And I don't even have to TELL YOU how painful it can be to end up
with the WRONG WOMAN long-term.

That's exactly why I've put my heart and soul into The Leading Man.
I want you to make the RIGHT DECISIONS and spend your valuable
time with HIGH QUALITY women from now on...

Right now, I've brought back the 35% off coupon for The Leading
Man, and am going to give you another shot at acquiring my book How
To Manage Your Wildly Successful Dating Life for F-R-E-E along with
it.

But this is ONLY going to last THROUGH THE WEEKEND.

Those who ACT FAST are the ones who GET RESULTS.

If you've already read about The Leading Man and simply have been
putting off getting it, NOW is the best time. Simply use this link:



https://secure.plimus.com/jsp/buynow.jsp?contractId=2021512&couponCo
de=xy35off



The coupon is EMBEDDED in that link, and you'll see it reflected on
PAGE TWO when you order.

Select the F-R-E-E e-book and a F-R-E-E month of Power Sessions (if
you'd like) on the front page, and hit the "next" button to see the
coupon credited on Page Two.

By the way, the newest Power Sessions program features Marni Kinrys
of The Wing Girl Method talking about "How Women REALLY Want To Be
Approached". It's actually a sneak preview of The Master Plan, so
I can't recommend snapping it up highly enough.

Have you been under a rock and somehow missed out on reading about
The Leading Man yet? If on the off chance that's the case, here's
the link for you:



http://www.the-leading-man.com/subscribers



You can get all the details there. But be SURE to either type in
the code "xy35off" when ordering...or just return to this e-mail and
use the first link I gave you above.

Have a great weekend, gentlemen, and I'll talk to you again soon.


Be Good,

Scot McKay


P.S. I've been doing a TON of interviews lately. The newest is
with Adonis from The Charming Rogue. Now, Adonis has a serious PUA
operation going on, but he specifically invited me to sit down with
him for an interview in order to get a "whole new perspective".

Rest assured I gave that to him. He's a great guy and we had a
blast talking about great women. You can listen in here:


http://charmingrogue.com/scot-mckay-interview/



=====



Questions? Ideas? Comments? Find me on Twitter.com @scotmckay and
jump into the conversation with an @message.

If you like what you read, please feel free to forward the newsletter
to others. Help a brother out.

In fact, did a friend forward YOU this message? To receive this
newsletter on 21st century dating issues from X & Y Communications
on a regular basis, simply go to:

http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com
(www.deservewhatyouwant.com)

...drop your email in the annoying popup window, and download "How
To Deal With Breakups" for free. Or, just send a blank email to
"xandy@aweber.com". Easy stuff.



Discussion Forum:
www.deservewhatyouwant.com/forum
(http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/forum)


Follow Us On Twitter:
www.deservewhatyouwant.com/twitter
(http://www.twitter.com/scotmckay/)


Friend Us On Facebook
www.deservewhatyouwant.com/facebook
(http://profile.to/scot-mckay/)


Friend Us On MySpace
www.deservewhatyouwant.com/myspace
(http://www.myspace.com/x_and_y)


Pin Yourself On Frappr (with a picture and a comment, por favor):
www.frappr.com/xandy
(http://www.frappr.com/xandy)



X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's all about straight talk about the most
creative subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles
while being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic stuff you've heard a million times isn't
rehashed around here. Enjoy!

Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute
professional advice.



(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2009. All Rights Reserved.



This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.



Our records indicate that at requested information
by e-mail from our company at:

Date:
IP: