[X&Y] The Infamous "Whitelist" And "Blacklist"
Published: Mon, 02/09/09
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IN THIS EDITION: If you don't take the important step I'm about to
share with you BEFORE you date someone, don't complain to me when
it all falls apart later. Yes...it's THAT important.
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THE INFAMOUS "WHITELIST" AND "BLACKLIST"
Recently, I promised to share with you a MISSION CRITICAL step that
every man must take before seriously upgrading his dating life.
So today I'm going to make good on that.
What I'm about to describe is not complicated, let alone
metaphysical or "out there". In fact, it's about as pragmatic as a
first grade homework assignment.
But yet, like so many important things in life, what often seems
"obvious" AFTER discovery may have been ignored or unnoticed for
years and years...perhaps even decades or an ENTIRE LIFETIME.
And such is the secret I'm going to share with you right now. Here
goes...
You already know that I talk a lot about deserving what you want.
A big part of doing this involves taking the measures necessary to
be the kind of man the woman of your dreams is dreaming of.
And that, in and of itself, is a step most of us fail to take in
this culture of "immediate gratification" and "quick fixes".
But based on my interactions with both men and women, there's an
even MORE SHOCKING aspect to how people go about relationships.
By and large (whatever that means), the vast majority of us HAVE NO
IDEA what we really want in a woman.
We may feel as if "we'll know it when we see it" or something like
that, but beyond ticking the obvious checkboxes (i.e. "um...really
hot and kind of fun to be with, I guess.") we don't ever
OBJECTIVELY identify the exact details of who the woman of our
dreams REALLY IS.
Maybe it's because there's a "stigma" around being "too picky".
Maybe it's because we've been brainwashed to believe that either 1)
nobody really ever gets who they want, or worse... 2) ...that we're
"shallow" for having high standards in every way.
Well, let me support you 40,000% in being "too picky". And if
someone ever tells you you're "shallow" for "wanting it all", send
him or her to me. I've got your back.
So with that formality out of the way, what do you do to make sure
you're on the right track here?
Simple. You make an Excel spreadsheet.
In it, you list the TOP TEN traits you deem important in a woman.
I don't care WHAT THEY ARE. You are the SOLE JUDGE of what's on
the list.
Make a column for each trait.
Then, in each of several rows below type in the name of a woman you
are currently dating or want to date. You can even list women
you've known or dated in the past for reference.
Once you have the names written down, rank each woman from 1-10
under each respective trait in accordance with how you feel she
measures up to the ultimate standard you have in mind.
Then, add up the numbers at the end of the column. Out of 100
possible points, each woman will have a "grade".
Now I know what you're saying. This sure seems like a stone cold
way to evaluate women.
Well it may look that way at first glance, but the truth is that
most of us as guys tend to evaluate women very subjectively.
Going purely by a "seat of the pants" impression of how much we
like a particular woman can get a bit confusing--or even
MISLEADING--when we know several women, can't it?
This is especially true when ALL of those women are FANTASTIC, and
ALL of whom are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT as individuals.
The "Whitelist" I just described to you is a way of GROUNDING your
mindset, so you can effectively temper your subjective, emotional
response to women with factors you've decided were important AHEAD
OF TIME.
Notice I said, "ahead of time". No fair making your Whitelist
AFTER you start dating someone.
Even though I did suggest running the numbers for previous
girlfriends as a reference exercise, trust me when I tell you
you're VERY LIKELY to weigh your Whitelist in favor of women you
WANT to score well if you already know them and like them.
So for that specific reason it's best to have a clean slate.
And now, here's what's arguably EVEN MORE IMPORTANT than the
Whitelist.
You've got to make a "Blacklist" as well.
This list has no limit with regard to the number of entries that
can be on it. And it doesn't require any scaling from 1-10.
Rather, it's completely binary..."Yes" or "No".
And on that list are all the ABSOLUTE DEALBREAKERS that should
unequivocally disqualify ANY woman you are seeing.
Again...I don't care what's actually ON the list. That's up to you.
But whatever you write down on the Blacklist, you've got to promise
yourself RIGHT NOW that if you ever see any of it show up in a
particular woman you are dating, it's breakup time.
No ifs, ands or buts. No passing "go" or collecting $200.
If you build the Blacklist and live by it as closely as you do the
Whitelist, your chances of having to deal with excessive,
mind-numbing and potentially life-altering drama will go WAY, WAY
down.
In fact, most guys who overlook what I'm sharing with you today are
LIKELY to end up with the wrong woman...and even LIKELY to end up in
divorce court. If you think I'm kidding, simply look at the public
statistics.
So like the Whitelist, it's CRUCIAL that you create the Blacklist
BEFORE you start dating. That is, BEFORE you start dating someone
who is so hot she causes you to EXCUSE what may have been a clear
"dealbreaker"...if only you had written it down BEFORE meeting her.
The Blacklist "clears your head" about what you DON'T want, much as
the Whitelist gives you clarity about what you DO want.
Think of both lists as two halves of a pact you make with yourself
at the very beginning of your journey to becoming amazing with women.
When it's "in writing" on paper...perhaps even endorsed with your
own signature, you'll always have an immediate an undeniable
touchstone to YOUR REALITY as perceived long before ever being
"clouded by beauty vision".
Can you see the importance of building a Whitelist AND a Blacklist?
No doubt, there is no better skill set to have than to be able to
KEEP A WOMAN ATTRACTED long-term. This means BEING THE LEADER,
most definitely.
But the first step to actually being that man is IDENTIFYING THE
RIGHT WOMAN. And being The Leading Man is perhaps the ULTIMATE
alternative to "winging it" and heading down the wrong path with
the wrong woman.
In The Leading Man, I cover every single thing you need to know
about how to manage relationships with women. That is, everything
that comes AFTER pickup.
It really is like "divorce insurance". And certainly a far less
costly and less heart wrenching alternative.
Right now, I'm going to give you the chance to acquire The Leading
Man for 35% off. This is hands down THE FASTEST way to become the
kind of man who is IN CONTROL of his own dating life rather than
being CONTROLLED BY it:
http://www.the-leading-man.com/subscribers
But knowing how important what I've told you today is, I'm going to
sweeten the deal even more.
For the next 48 hours, I'm also going to hand you a copy of my book
How To Manage Your Wildly Successful Dating Life.
In it, I share how to build the ultimate Whitelist in MINUTE
DETAIL, while also detailing what to look for as far as DEALBREAKERS.
Seriously, How To Manage Your Wildly Successful Dating Life
delivers an extra dimension of personal power to you that you just
can't get anywhere else. And right now you can get it AND The
Leading Man together right here:
http://www.the-leading-man.com/subscribers
Maybe you've been suspecting for a long time that there's GOT to be
more to life than settling for the first woman who comes along and
tolerating the humiliation of a tedious marriage you are barely
even attracted to if at all.
Yes, there is.
And you have my FULL SUPPORT in being one of the FEW GUYS who take
the bull by the horns and decides his own destiny. Click that
link above to make sure of it.
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. I'm extending that logo design contest at least another week.
Bear in mind that the key is to evolve the look and feel of the X
& Y On The Fly podcast, The Chick Whisperer podcast and web site to
the next level rather than to completely reinvent the wheel. If
you want the exact colors and fonts we use, just ask:
scot@deservewhatyouwant.com
P.P.S. There's KILLER new Cook For Your Date stuff on the blog as
of this morning:
http://www.edumckaytion.com/blog
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