[X&Y] "Like Flashing Neon Lights Saying, 'Take Me!'"
Published: Mon, 10/12/09
=====
IN THIS EDITION: Mark from Nebraska writes in and says, "I later
found out that this look meant, 'So are you gonna kiss me, or
what?' Of course, I did nothing." If that sounds hauntingly
familiar to you, read on...
=====
I FIGURED YOU MIGHT NEED THIS...
Based on the e-mails I've been getting, I'm now convinced more than
ever that most guys who aren't as successful with women as they
feel like they SHOULD be share a common pattern.
When it comes to RELATING TO WOMEN, they THINK LIKE A MAN.
As a result, what makes the MOST SENSE to us in theory when it
comes to meeting and talking to women often falls FLAT AS A PANCAKE
when applied in real life.
And I won't even begin to go into how this affects long-term
relationships.
Let me tell you, it's absolutely, positively true that women do
think differently than we as guys do in A LOT of ways.
But since they're the same species of human being as we are, they
also think EXACTLY LIKE we do in many other ways.
So how do you sort all of that out? Well now, pardner...THAT'S the
skill that separates the men from the boys in this whole area.
And if you indeed REALLY want to get ahead of almost every other
guy on the planet when it comes to understanding women, then Chick
Whispering is your turn-key plan.
Watch the video on what it's all about here:
http://www.chickwhispering.com
In the few weeks since I first unleashed the program, I've already
gotten e-mails from guys who are seeing VISIBLE, TANGIBLE CHANGES
in how first dates are going for them.
Simply put, if you're sick of "underachieving" with women even
though you know you're a great guy, this is PROBABLY the missing
piece of the puzzle:
http://www.chickwhispering.com
Having given this some thought, I've decided that once you get a
handle on what's in Chick Whispering you'd likely appreciate a
great excuse to go try out your newly-minted skills.
So check it out. If you snap up your copy of Chick Whispering by
WEDNESDAY NIGHT at 12 midnight Texas time (Central Daylight Time,
GMT -5), I'm going to fork over a copy of Cook For Your Date as a
F-R-E-E bonus.
No kidding. It goes for $27 in the X & Y Communications Store all
day long, but I'm really looking forward to hearing your success
stories, you see. The way I see it, the proper formula for such a
success story would go something like this:
1) Inhale the golden information in Chick Whispering like it was
laughing gas.
2) Voraciously consume every iota of top-secret female catnip
craziness that's in Cook For Your Date.
3) Let an amazing woman talk you into letting her come over your
house for dinner.
4) Proceed to wantonly affect utterly magical attraction magnetism
that should probably be illegal in some states.
5) Wow. Just wow.
Obviously, I'm in an unusual mood at the time I'm writing this.
But what can I say...just typing this all out is bringing back some
pretty sweet memories.
Heck, I've known Emily for darn near four years now and all of what
I share in these two books is STILL WORKING. Like CLOCKWORK. And
SHE KNOWS IT, even ACKNOWLEDGES IT, and still LOVES EVERY MINUTE OF
IT.
Really.
Sure, you've got 48 hours or so to mull it over. But if you take
me up on this sweet little deal that I've got for you right now,
that's a 48-hour head start you'll have on enjoying the fruits of
your decision. So here's that link again:
http://www.chickwhispering.com
Remember, you'll only get Cook For Your Date with Chick Whispering
until WEDNESDAY NIGHT. So you won't hear anything about it in the
video, even though you'll see it as a bonus on the order page itself.
And now, let's here from Mark in Nebraska, who has some great
comments in response to that last newsletter on approach anxiety...
=====
READER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS
Great advice in latest newsletter, Scot!
Before I discovered newsletters and books like yours, the only time
a woman became attracted to me was when I was "accidentally myself"
kind of like you were in the Target store.
For example, there was this really cute girl in acting class in
college. The class was great because it allowed me to showcase my
humor. I had a blast, especially when we did improv games.
Anyway, humor was apparently a huge turn on for this woman because
it wasn't long before she started dropping subtle hints that she
was attracted to me (even though I didn't really say much to her).
Well, at the time they seemed subtle, but looking back they were
more like flashing neon lights saying, "Take me!"
Unfortunately, I was too insecure (or should I say too stupid) to
do anything about it until just before the class ended.
A similar thing happened a few years later with a girl at work. She
was more subtle, but also more patient. Of course, I screwed that
one up too.
I have this vivid memory of me dropping her off at her house after
our first time hanging out. She's got one hand on the door handle
like she's going to leave, but keeps rambling about nothing and
looking at me.
I later found out that this look meant, "So are you gonna kiss me,
or what?"
Of course, I did nothing.
Any chance she gave me afterwards I messed up by either doing
nothing or acting needy and insecure (in other words, not myself).
Believe it or not, I thought I was supposed to wait for
"permission" from the girl before making a move.
Thank God for products like yours. If it wasn't for them, I'd still
be shooting myself in the foot.
Of course, it would've been nice to have gotten all this great
information before I met those women (especially the last one), but
oh well...
Mark (Elkhorn, NE)
=====
Thanks for writing, Mark.
Well, you can't let water under the proverbial bridge get to you.
Man...we ALL go through that sort of thing.
I remember at the end of my senior year in high school they gave
out yearbooks, and I couldn't believe what some of the hottest
girls in school wrote in mine.
"Uh...well I always thought you seemed like a really interesting
guy, and I think whoever is your girlfriend in college will be the
luckiest girl in the world. Oh well".
Or, "I guess we never really got a chance to hang out together...I
would've liked that. But you never really asked."
I could've kicked myself. In fact, I DID kick myself. After all,
who knew? These girls never SAID ANYTHING.
Yet, I sat across the room from girls like that all day
long...fantasizing about them, but not really DOING a whole lot about
it.
The reality of the matter is that most of us spend our lives
looking for women to basically broadcast their undying affection
for us with a bullhorn before we'll ever understand them to be
"wanting us".
But women really are creatures of subtlety, aren't they though?
It's all because they want US to lead. As you said, they want US
to TAKE THEM...not vice-versa. That REALLY IS important to women.
Too bad most of us are all wadded up in a mindset that prohibits
any sort of direct attraction toward a woman on the grounds that it
would be "harassment" or "oppressive behavior".
Meanwhile, the simple truth is that when a woman is showing ANY
sort of attraction toward us (e.g. smiling during conversation,
continuing conversations, lightly touching us, ANYTHING that would
be construed by a third-party as subtle flirting) she really WANTS
us to respond powerfully to that.
But most men blow it in those situations. And the women invariably
are left wondering what they could possibly have done wrong.
As I mentioned in the first part of this newsletter, women
straight-up THINK DIFFERENTLY than we do sometimes...and this is one
of those times.
We as men aren't usually about "subtlety" when conveying what we
want to someone else. And we're rarely interested in coaxing the
opposite gender to show some leadership skill.
So definitely don't feel bad. It sounds like you're on the right
path. It's a RARE MAN who has what I'm telling you figured out,
especially to the point where he can recognize a woman's
"permission to proceed" when granted, especially in the moment.
(And for the record, gentlemen, here's a hopefully-unnecessary
disclaimer: "Take me!" is absolutely, positively a matter of
permission granted by a woman, not something you impose like a
caveman.)
That said, I actually still get the occasional e-mail from a guy
(like unto which I've answered in this space before) who has had a
woman over to his apartment to watch a movie, during which she
tickled him or whacked him with a pillow...to which the guy
responded to by just smiling and nodding, or something.
Then at the end of the movie, the poor woman got up and wordlessly
slammed the door behind her as she left--never to be heard from
again. The guy invariably asks, "What could I do next time to be
MORE of a 'gentleman'? I obviously offended her somehow."
What was "offensive", of course, was causing the woman to literally
feel rejected when in her mind she dropped every blatant hint in
the book that it was time to kiss her. In such a scenario, a true
"gentleman" recognizes that it's time to kiss her brains out.
Thanks again for your great letter.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. Next time, I've got another great letter from a reader for
you. We'll cover some CONCRETE, STEP-BY-STEP ways to literally
"ignite femininity" with simple CONVERSATION when you're with a
woman.
No more chit-chatting about the weather followed by the inevitable
non-stop, one-way trip to the "Just Be Friends Zone". We're going
to make this as clear as a bell for you.
P.P.S. If you've never seen that "X & Y Communications Store" I so
casually mentioned above, it's where you'll find all the e-books
and programs in one convenient place:
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/store
P.P.P.S. If you don't yet have Episode #33 of The Chick Whisperer
raked into the barn (aka your iPod) just yet, here's the iTunes
link. Please leave a review. We could use a few:
http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=218155493
=====
IMPORTANT: IF YOU WANT TO ASK ME A QUESTION, find me on
Twitter.com @scotmckay and jump into the conversation with an
@message.
Seriously, finding me on Twitter is truly the best place to get in
touch with me.
Please note that due to sheer volume of messages I simply cannot
come close to answering every e-mail received...especially the
"life story" editions.
Guys who are Power Sessions members will continue to receive
unlimited e-mail coaching and will also continue to enjoy first
priority.
If you like what you read, please feel free to forward the
newsletter to others. Help a brother out.
In fact, did a friend forward YOU this message? To receive this
newsletter on 21st century dating issues from X & Y Communications
on a regular basis, simply go to:
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com
(www.deservewhatyouwant.com)
...drop your email in the annoying popup window, and download "How
To Deal With Breakups" for free. Or, just send a blank email to
"xandy@aweber.com". Easy stuff.
Discussion Forum:
www.deservewhatyouwant.com/forum
(http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/forum)
We're Now The #1 Dating Experts On Twitter:
www.deservewhatyouwant.com/twitter
(http://www.twitter.com/scotmckay/)
We're Also Now The #1 Dating Experts On Facebook:
www.deservewhatyouwant.com/facebook
(http://www.facebook.com/scotandemily)
Friend Us On MySpace:
www.deservewhatyouwant.com/myspace
(http://www.myspace.com/x_and_y)
Pin Yourself On Frappr (with a picture and a comment, por favor):
www.frappr.com/xandy
(http://www.frappr.com/xandy)
X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's all about straight talk about the most
creative subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles
while being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic stuff you've heard a million times isn't
rehashed around here. Enjoy!
Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute
professional advice.
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2009. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.
Our records indicate that at requested information
by e-mail from our company at:
Date:
IP: