[X&Y] Are You Making These Mistakes With Women? [Special Guest]
Published: Thu, 10/22/09
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IN THIS EDITION: I've been feeling a bit crispy around the edges
lately, and that's only a good thing if we're talking about
quesadillas...which we're not.
So I had my good friend Carlos Xuma sit in for me this time. Look
forward to good stuff ahead.
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THE THREE "ATTRACTION KILLERS"
Hey man, it's Carlos Xuma here...
I know, you're screaming "WHAT?? Where's McKay? Am I confusing my
newsletters?"
Well, Scot decided to take a day off and go skeet shooting or whatever
it is they do in Texas with days off. (Just kidding about the skeet
shooting, Scot. Uh, well, not really.)
But he asked me to step in and send you a little newsletter with some
stuff you'd enjoy... So enjoy this little article on the 3 Attraction
Killers with women.
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One of the hardest things for a man to do is to approach a woman and
start a conversation. And most guys don't know about the potential
MINEFIELD they're walking into so that they can avoid blowing
themselves up.
Here are 3 things guys do that creep a woman out and KILL a woman's
attraction - and how to avoid them...
Three Attraction KILLERS:
MISTAKE 1) Getting too physical too fast.
Ooh, this one is a big mistake, and it's easy to make.
When we see a hot woman, let's face it, the first thing we wonder is
how she feels. Her skin looks so smooth, and her body so... mmmm.
If you start to get TOO touchy-feely with her too quick, you'll freak
her out. She'll think you're creepy.
BUT if you don't touch her at all, you run the risk of her thinking of
you as just a potential 'friend.'
The secret here is to simply touch her on the arm just BEFORE you say
anything to her. This gets her attention, AND it triggers her interest
in a different way so that she pays attention.
If she suspects that your touching her is a bit on the "perv" side,
she's going to feel immediately repulsed. So keep it brief, and YOU
have to be the one to take it away FIRST.
Remember, leave her wanting more, not feeling like "that's enough..."
MISTAKE 2) Showing her too much interest too quickly - through body
language, expression, etc. (When it looks like you need her approval.)
One of the most common methods guys have for approaching women is to
walk up with a compliment for her. We assume that this is the best
technique because she'll be flattered and instantly open up to us.
The reality is quite different.
If a woman gets a compliment as the first thing out of your mouth,
here is what she's thinking:
"Uh-oh... he's going to want something from me. Probably my phone
number or a date."
And so she goes on "alert" and her defenses are up. "This is a guy
looking to GET from me..."
Giving her a compliment too soon, or in the wrong way is like telling
her you're a "needy" guy that will soon smother her. Or is just trying
a simple and transparent trick of flattery to sneak into the vault...
The best method is to approach her with a relaxed look, and a question
for her that will immediately grab her interest and bypass her
defenses. The less she thinks you're "hitting on her" and instead sees
an "interesting guy," the more likely you are to get her number or her
email.
(Always ask for her email or how to find her on Facebook. Women almost
never refuse this request...)
MISTAKE 3) Talking about the future - with her.
This is one that's amazingly easy to do, even if you might be thinking
this is something you'd never do.
Example: You approach a woman, you start a good conversation, and then
you start "selling" her on a date by telling her you want to take her
to this great restaurant and...
SCREEEEEECH.
Stop right there. She's going to get weirded out by that talk when
she's just met you. The ONLY thing you need to do is sell the next
step - getting her number or contact info. Anything else is going to
trigger alarms.
If you haven't brought this woman to a fever-pitch of excitement over
you, your best bet is to simply get her excited at the prospect of re-
connecting "somehow" with you.
UNLESS you have a really solid connection with her, and you get an
indication from her that she's interested, like a touch on the arm.
Then you should set the time and place to meet again right there. It's
the kind of bold action that she will appreciate.
And even when you're on a date with a woman, you need to avoid talking
about the future as if she's in it. This sounds too pushy and clingy.
"Hey, this weekend we can go to this bar and..."
WHOA.
Finish THIS date first. Bring her excitement and interest in you UP,
and then you can go for the next date later on because it will be a
slam-dunk.
Fast future plans scare her off because you're showing your
desperation to "lock something in." Ironically, the less definite you
make the future, and the more she feels like things are just
"happening" the more she will be attracted to you.
It will feel "natural."
Now, I've discovered (through long and painful lessons) that most of
getting women into you is simply a process of:
A) Avoid doing the wrong things - (making these mistakes)
and
B) Doing enough of the right things.
And "B" really means: Demonstrating solid masculine character.
One of the things I've loved about Scot McKay's programs is that they
parallel my philosophy so well.
I just wanted to take a second to remind you of something Scot has
for you that you should know about.
One thing that Scot and I have seen consistently (and we've yet to see
an exception) is how a man can multiply his success with women by
focusing on a CONSISTENT masculine presence with a woman.
This isn't something you can fake with "pickup tactics" when you
first meet a woman, only to let things slide later.
Now, I hate fluffy new-age terminology as much as anyone else, so let
me be more clear:
When a man makes a HABIT of letting himself express his MASCULINE
LEADERSHIP traits, women are attracted to him. And they stick around.
It's the essence of NATURAL attraction with women. It's a big part of
what I call the "Alpha Man" - and what Scot calls:
The Leading Man.
He's the guy who women feel safe with when they're around him...
He's the guy women stay with rather than just "play" with...
He's the man that can keep his masculine strength and not lose his
shirt in a relationship...
Well, I've had my own personal copy of Scot's program since he first
released it, and I have to say he does a fantastic job of showing you
how to handle things "post-pickup."
There's a ton of information on how to GET a woman out there. But
what do you do to KEEP her? That's the million-dollar question.
If you really want to be the man women stick with - and stay in
control in your relationship without having to be a jerk - I encourage
you to pick up a copy of The Leading Man right away.
It's an essential part of the big picture that will up your game to
the next level.
Go check it out here:
http://www.the-leading-man.com/subscribers/
Oh, and just to let you know, that link is straight to his program. I
don't make a dime off it. I just wanted you to know where to go in
case you missed it.
And I hope to talk to you soon...
Go take a look at the Leading Man here:
http://www.the-leading-man.com/subscribers/
Stay Alpha...
Your friend,
Carlos Xuma
Get Quality Women With The REAL You...
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[Editor's Note]
Thanks to Carlos Xuma for bringing his "A game" today, as always.
I've always thought of Carlos' material as being among the top
resources for guys out there.
If you enjoyed his easy-going yet straight-forward style, definitely
go take a look at his newsletter also...and get his free e-book from
his site while you're at it:
http://www.carlosxuma.com/
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. Next time, I've got some ultra-practical steps lined up for you
on how to LOOK YOUR ABSOLUTE BEST when meeting with a woman. I
guarantee that at least some of what I'll share will be BRAND NEW
information to you.
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