[X&Y] Approaching Women In Particularly TOUGH Situations
Published: Sun, 11/15/09
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IN THIS EDITION: Okay, so how do you meet a woman in the TOUGHEST
of conditions? I'll show you some highly effective strategies for
getting the job done.
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I JUST RAMPED UP *EVERYTHING* ABOUT CHICK WHISPERING...EXCEPT THE PRICE
Well, at least that's true for YOU. While the rest of the world
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But even though the price is the same, I've added EVEN MORE
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Now, let's talk about meeting women in particularly difficult
situations:
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HOW TO MEET A WOMAN...EVEN IN THE MOST CHALLENGING SITUATIONS YOU CAN
THINK OF
Let's face it. Cold approaches are plenty challenging enough, even
if the woman is sitting by herself in an empty coffee shop already
smiling at you.
But even assuming you've conquered approach anxiety with a big,
heavy hammer (and if you haven't, I've got "back issues" for
you...just e-mail me and I'll have them sent to you) there are just
some situations that can make even the most seasoned pickup guru
scratch his head and go, "Now what?"
Well, by now you know I'm ALL ABOUT eliminating the phrase "Now
what?" from our collective vocabulary.
Until that day finally gets here, however, here are some practical
suggestions--rapid-fire style, mind you--for meeting a woman you JUST
HAVE TO TALK TO, regardless of how sticky the situation is. How
about a "top ten list"?
Here are the first five this time 'round:
1) She's Walking The Opposite Way Down A City Street
In a scenarios like this, you've got to be pragmatic...and you've got
to be fast. There's no time for THINKING, just ACTION.
If ever the "three second rule" is particularly mission-critical,
it's under circumstances such as this.
So call it out like it is.
Approach the woman from an angle where she can see you, tap her on
the shoulder and pronounce--bluntly--"Look, I saw you and I knew I HAD
to meet you. You're obviously headed somewhere and so am I, so give
me your number so we can continue this conversation properly later."
First of all, you'll be shocked by how frequently your sheer
confidence turns a woman on in situations such as this. Second of
all, you'd better have something to write with. There's no time
for trifling with cell phones, etc. Write her number on your hand.
2) She's Got Headphones On
Oftentimes we automatically assume that a woman has headphones on
at the gym, beach or wherever to "tune us out". You're probably
right.
But all you need to remember is that women are hard-wired to FOLLOW
OUR LEAD, and they are NOT hard-wired to their iPods.
Again, approach from an angle that won't seem like she's being
ambushed, get eye contact with her--even if you have to get right in
front of her face to face (at least 18" away, please)--and simply
tap your ear.
That's the universal symbol for, "Would you please remove your
earphones?"
Prepare to be shocked by how consistently this works. And when she
loses the headsets, also be prepared to introduce yourself. As
always, your confidence will be credited to you by any woman with
her head screwed on straight.
That is, unless you're flat-out creepy, or something--which you're
not.
3) She's On The Phone
The first step here is to RELAX. You do not have to solve "world
peace" within the next thirty seconds.
If you don't have anywhere to be for the next few minutes, you'll
be pleasantly surprised by how seldom women's phone calls really
last the eternity that stereotype would lead you believe.
And when she hangs up, simply walk up to her with a smile and tell
her that you'd like to make friends with her, but only because it's
obvious she must already know how to make friends pretty
easily...considering that she was making such good use of her cell
phone.
By the way, the longer she was on the phone, the better this
works...so don't sweat it.
So what if her phone call seems interminable? Well there's no two
ways about it: You're going to have to grow a pair.
Position yourself in front of her and start shaking your head
subtly while hopefully making eye contact with her. We all as
humans are naturally curious, so chances are EXCELLENT that she'll
interrupt her phone conversation to acknowledge you.
At that point, you simply say, "You know, I saw you from across the
room and knew I had to meet you. But from the looks of things,
you've got LOTS of friends already. And I'm pretty spoiled...I'm
used to being top priority." Then make sure to crack a sly smile
after the mandatory couple of seconds.
If she doesn't love you for this, and hang up in homage to your
sheer courage, then you had no chance anyway...and are probably
better off. Trust me on that.
4) She's On Public Transportation
This is one I get asked about a lot. Whether on a subway or on the
bus, the first thing to remember is that you are BOTH in the same
boat (perhaps literally), so now is NOT the time to get
self-conscious because you don't have a car or something.
On the other hand, what it IS time to do is MOVE WITH A QUICKNESS.
You have NO IDEA when her stop is coming, so you've got to assume
that you only have thirty seconds MAX.
So you've got to go DIRECT. Tell her you weren't about to let this
ride you are on together pass you by without at least meeting her.
Get her number and tell her what time you'll call her.
A situation such as this is to be treated much like when you
encounter a woman walking in the opposite direction on a city
street.
5) There's A TON Of People Around
This is a particularly deceptive situation, isn't it?
Frankly, I think most of us are WAY, WAY too narcissistic when it
comes to meeting women when a lot of other people are around.
We tend to automatically assume that everyone else is going to key
in on the situation and any communication you have with the woman
is likely to make a scene.
Well, let me introduce you to a slice of reality. Most people
around you aren't going to give a rat's hind parts what's going on.
Seriously.
First of all, they've got to be within earshot enough to hear.
Then, they've got to have the presence of mind that you're creating
a "movie moment" with a cutie.
THEN...they STILL have to CARE, which like I said is unlikely.
Most of the time, any woman out there will be PROUD to have the
story to tell her girlfriends about how a man like you "picked her
out of a crowd" and chose to meet her, without any regard for who
was watching.
Play it cool, make normal conversation and I all but PROMISE YOU
that few, if any, people will even notice.
And what if they do?
What if some blue-haired grandma gives you a wink and a "thumbs
up". Smile back and proceed. If anything, the woman you've just
met will be even more intrigued by the way you handle yourself with
"compassionate confidence".
Ha. You didn't know I was such a crazy mofo, did you?
Actually this sort of thing can be flat-out FUN to challenge
yourself with.
Heck, I'm MARRIED and sometimes I even strike up conversations with
people in challenging situations like these just to remind myself
of how AMAZINGLY POSSIBLE it really is.
Let me tell you, most of the time I let the guys who claim to be
"pickup artists" do all the heavy lifting when it comes to this
sort of thing.
After all, there are TONS of guys talking about that stuff.
Meanwhile, I seem to be your ONLY friendly neighborhood dating
coach talking about "minor, trivial factors" like QUALITY as
opposed to QUANTITY.
Whatever.
But either way, lately you guys have been asking for my take on
this sort of stuff. So my challenge to YOU is to take at least two
examples out of the list I've offered above and by all means PUT
THEM TO THE TEST this week.
And by the way, be sure to drop me a note and let me know how it
goes. I LOVE e-mails like that. scot@deservewhatyouwant.com
I'll share the other five with you on Thursday.
Here's a "sneak peek". They are:
6) You've Got Very Little Time To Work With
7) She's Clearly Not In A Great State Of Mind
8) She's With Friends
9) She's With Her Mom
10) She's With A Guy
Meanwhile, this'll give you a chance to put the first five to good
use.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. Tonight is the BIG NIGHT for my friend Sean Stephenson. You
may know him from Virtuosity and/or various David D. programs.
The pilot for his TV show "Three Foot Giant" airs TONIGHT on
Biography Channel at 10p EST/7p Pacific. That's just a couple hours
from now, of course.
If you know Sean, you're already a fan. So taking a "time out" to
watch the show is a no-brainer...be sure to check it out. Emily and I
will be watching!
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