[X&Y] Exactly Why Looks Don't Matter As Much To Women
Published: Sat, 12/12/09
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
=====
IN THIS EDITION: Apparently some guys still believe that they're
not getting anywhere with women because they're not good looking
enough. Let's handle that once and for all.
=====
ARE YOU PERSUASIVE?
Let's face it. It's hard to be a LEADER (like we talk about all
the time around here) if nobody values your opinions or cares what
you think.
That's why the art of PERSUASION is so amazingly important in life.
By now, you know that my friend Mike Lee is by far our favorite
author on the subject.
That's because he has a knack for teaching guys just like you how
to carry tremendous influence with peers, friends, co-workers,
family members and--yes--even WOMEN.
The difference between having persuasion skills and not is like
NIGHT and DAY as far as your overall enjoyment of life is
concerned.
If that sounds like an overstatement, think of it this way: If you
could go through life getting what you want versus NOT getting what
you want, which would make you happier?
When put that way it's pretty much obvious, isn't it?
Well, right now Mike's throwing a 50% OFF SALE on his ever-popular
20 Day Persuasion program. I know Mike, and when he says this is
only for the next several days, he MEANS IT.
So here's where you can get all the info:
http://bit.ly/8hHMzA
Probably the BEST part of how Mike teaches these mission-critical
persuasion skills is that he does so without resorting to NLP,
trickery, manipulation or anything like that.
It's all about 100% pure social skill and mastery of the human
thought process.
So Mike's 20 Day Persuasion program comes with my highest
recommendation, ESPECIALLY at HALF-PRICE. Even just reading some
of the examples on his Web site is well worth the visit, so be sure
to click this link:
http://bit.ly/8hHMzA
And now, let's talk about whether women care about how good looking
you are in a way you may have never considered before...
=====
EXACTLY WHY WOMEN DON'T CARE AS MUCH ABOUT
=====
IN THIS EDITION: Apparently some guys still believe that they're
not getting anywhere with women because they're not good looking
enough. Let's handle that once and for all.
=====
ARE YOU PERSUASIVE?
Let's face it. It's hard to be a LEADER (like we talk about all
the time around here) if nobody values your opinions or cares what
you think.
That's why the art of PERSUASION is so amazingly important in life.
By now, you know that my friend Mike Lee is by far our favorite
author on the subject.
That's because he has a knack for teaching guys just like you how
to carry tremendous influence with peers, friends, co-workers,
family members and--yes--even WOMEN.
The difference between having persuasion skills and not is like
NIGHT and DAY as far as your overall enjoyment of life is
concerned.
If that sounds like an overstatement, think of it this way: If you
could go through life getting what you want versus NOT getting what
you want, which would make you happier?
When put that way it's pretty much obvious, isn't it?
Well, right now Mike's throwing a 50% OFF SALE on his ever-popular
20 Day Persuasion program. I know Mike, and when he says this is
only for the next several days, he MEANS IT.
So here's where you can get all the info:
http://bit.ly/8hHMzA
Probably the BEST part of how Mike teaches these mission-critical
persuasion skills is that he does so without resorting to NLP,
trickery, manipulation or anything like that.
It's all about 100% pure social skill and mastery of the human
thought process.
So Mike's 20 Day Persuasion program comes with my highest
recommendation, ESPECIALLY at HALF-PRICE. Even just reading some
of the examples on his Web site is well worth the visit, so be sure
to click this link:
http://bit.ly/8hHMzA
And now, let's talk about whether women care about how good looking
you are in a way you may have never considered before...
=====
EXACTLY WHY WOMEN DON'T CARE AS MUCH ABOUT
YOUR LOOKS AS YOU THINK THEY DO
Sure, I know what you're saying even as you read the title above.
"OK then, how come women go nuts over all those prettyboy actors?
And why do they openly talk about how physically attractive guys
are when they're hanging out together?"
I'm not going to lie to you. If a guy LOOKS GOOD to a woman, she'll
notice.
But remember, women are wired differently than we are.
We tend to see a woman's physical beauty. And usually, if it's not
there for any particular woman in our estimation she has little
chance with us.
But with women, if you watch closely they'll often notice guys from
afar who you wouldn't necessarily expect them to.
Meanwhile, when it comes to the guy YOU may have automatically
assumed was your biggest "competition" in a particular social
setting, women just roll their eyes.
Why is this?
Well, for starters, your idea of "masculine" may be different than
a woman's. If you're thinking in terms of a "man's man", she's
thinking more in terms of what IGNITES her femininity.
Big difference.
I call it "The Clark Kent Factor".
You know the story with Superman. His public persona is that of
"mild mannered" Clark Kent. The tentative, somewhat scattered "Mr.
Nice Guy" who Lois Lane, of course, sees as "just a friend".
He's unsure of himself. He is usually dependent on others for
guidance and leadership. He doesn't really have a plan. And he
speaks in a hushed tone, with a higher pitch than seems appropriate.
Meanwhile, Superman has no such issues. Lois is overwhelmed with
animal attraction when HE'S around.
And here's the kicker: It's the SAME GUY. Therefore, both Clark
Kent and his alter ego Superman have the same level of "natural
giftedness" in the looks department, right?
You could even argue that Superman still rules DESPITE the simple
fact that Clark Kent sports a smart business suit whereas Superman
has the added "liability" of wearing blue and red spandex.
Whatever.
It's WHO SUPERMAN IS that makes him PHYSICALLY
Sure, I know what you're saying even as you read the title above.
"OK then, how come women go nuts over all those prettyboy actors?
And why do they openly talk about how physically attractive guys
are when they're hanging out together?"
I'm not going to lie to you. If a guy LOOKS GOOD to a woman, she'll
notice.
But remember, women are wired differently than we are.
We tend to see a woman's physical beauty. And usually, if it's not
there for any particular woman in our estimation she has little
chance with us.
But with women, if you watch closely they'll often notice guys from
afar who you wouldn't necessarily expect them to.
Meanwhile, when it comes to the guy YOU may have automatically
assumed was your biggest "competition" in a particular social
setting, women just roll their eyes.
Why is this?
Well, for starters, your idea of "masculine" may be different than
a woman's. If you're thinking in terms of a "man's man", she's
thinking more in terms of what IGNITES her femininity.
Big difference.
I call it "The Clark Kent Factor".
You know the story with Superman. His public persona is that of
"mild mannered" Clark Kent. The tentative, somewhat scattered "Mr.
Nice Guy" who Lois Lane, of course, sees as "just a friend".
He's unsure of himself. He is usually dependent on others for
guidance and leadership. He doesn't really have a plan. And he
speaks in a hushed tone, with a higher pitch than seems appropriate.
Meanwhile, Superman has no such issues. Lois is overwhelmed with
animal attraction when HE'S around.
And here's the kicker: It's the SAME GUY. Therefore, both Clark
Kent and his alter ego Superman have the same level of "natural
giftedness" in the looks department, right?
You could even argue that Superman still rules DESPITE the simple
fact that Clark Kent sports a smart business suit whereas Superman
has the added "liability" of wearing blue and red spandex.
Whatever.
It's WHO SUPERMAN IS that makes him PHYSICALLY
ATTRACTIVE to Lois Lane.
"Yes Scot, but that's FICTIONAL", you may be saying to yourself.
Granted. But the example is rooted in pure truth.
Emily and I just returned from a nice vacation in Japan and Korea.
While in Seoul, we booked a visit to the infamous DMZ, which has
always fascinated me. We took the tour this past Tuesday.
Since the DMZ is the "no mans land" between North and South Korea,
who are still technically at war with each other, the tour was
actually guided by a U.S. Army MP.
Since I love my job, I tend to find it difficult to leave "work" at
home even when on vacation.
I watched as the MP confidently boarded the bus, flashed a friendly
but decisively competent smile, and proceeded to tell us very
directly what we could expect from the morning and what the "ground
rules" were.
"I'm going to make sure you see everything that's important, but
please remember not to wave or gesture to any North Koreans along
the way. If you do, I'm going to have to remove you from the tour,
send you back to the bus and deal with the situation after we get
back here to the base. And believe me, I'd much rather you enjoy
the tour as much as everyone else instead."
He was reasonable and direct, without being a douchebag about it.
He had done this tour at least a hundred times and it showed.
Suffice it to say we paid attention. And as expected, nobody
created an "international incident". Nice.
BUT...the guy was approachable enough that everyone chimed in with
questions, which he cheerfully and competently answered.
He respected everyone on the tour, and fully expected to BE
respected in return. It was a "non issue" for him, and therefore
it was likewise a "non issue" for all of us.
Sooner than later it occurred to me that this guy's appearance was
VERY, VERY average in just about every respect.
He was of average height and build. And while his face wouldn't
scare small children, he wasn't going to be gracing the cover of GQ
anytime soon.
This was no "prettyboy" magazine model.
But he was CLEARLY a "Big Four" man.
One of the great benefits I enjoy while traveling, obviously, is
Emily's company.
In fact, sharing world travels and the life-long memories that go
along with them is one of many, many reasons why being in a great
long-term relationship beats the tar out of one-night stands.
As such, since she was sitting next to me on the bus I asked her,
"So, do you think this guy has any trouble getting a date?"
"Oh goodness no", was her immediate response.
Indeed.
To say he was confident would be an understatement. Yet, his clear
sense of sober judgment about himself (as opposed to arrogance)
combined with a clear ability to put us at ease was nothing short
of amazing.
We were visiting what is inarguably one of the most politically
tense areas on Earth, yet everyone was laid back about it.
And as far as character goes, there was just something about how he
carried himself that openly demonstrated that passing the necessary
background checks to be in the position he was in must have been no
problem.
I turned to Emily again and said, "OK, now imagine the same guy in
another setting. More tentative, not quite as confident. Maybe
more of an approval-seeking 'Mr. Nice Guy'. There'd be a big
difference in how attractive he is to women, huh?"
"Is that a trick question?" Emily replied...with a laugh.
No kidding. Were this guy to have been lacking in the "Big Four"
department, he'd be "Mr. Normal".
He wouldn't be leading tours to the border between North and South
Korea, that's for sure. And he wouldn't be the kind of man women
notice.
But the fact remained. Perhaps ironically, even while wearing
camouflage this guy stood out from "the crowd".
So what's the takeaway?
Simply this: Even if you are average (or even below average) in
the "natural looks" department, it's going to be the "Big Four"
that TRULY decide whether women NOTICE you or not.
Sure, take care of yourself. Brush your teeth and don't dress like
a slob.
But remember "The Clark Kent Factor" always, and continue to
fine-tune the "Big Four" in your life until you become your own
version of Superman in your own "natural habitat", which is
presumably somewhere outside the DMZ.
And by all means do so without the tights, please.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. If you are a member of the Power Sessions inner circle, be on
the lookout for something very cool in a few days. Let's just say
you're about to get a whole new take on how important WISDOM is to
women, and how to getchasum.
If you're NOT a Power Sessions member, you're missing out on the
"elite" benefits. Let me tell you, being an "elite" member of the
frequent flier program for the airline we were on for 13 hours back
and forth to Asia this past week was SWEET.
That's sort of what like being on Power Sessions is like. Consider
it the red-carpet treatment.
Unlimited priority e-mail access. First dibs on new specials (and
even some unannounced ones). And, of course, access to advanced
teaching on very specific topics that are flat-out unavailable to
everyone else.
Best of all, you can try Power Sessions for a month absolutely
f-r-e-e with any purchase from the store...even if you snap up that
$1 Holiday Hookups audio program I mentioned last week. For real.
"Yes Scot, but that's FICTIONAL", you may be saying to yourself.
Granted. But the example is rooted in pure truth.
Emily and I just returned from a nice vacation in Japan and Korea.
While in Seoul, we booked a visit to the infamous DMZ, which has
always fascinated me. We took the tour this past Tuesday.
Since the DMZ is the "no mans land" between North and South Korea,
who are still technically at war with each other, the tour was
actually guided by a U.S. Army MP.
Since I love my job, I tend to find it difficult to leave "work" at
home even when on vacation.
I watched as the MP confidently boarded the bus, flashed a friendly
but decisively competent smile, and proceeded to tell us very
directly what we could expect from the morning and what the "ground
rules" were.
"I'm going to make sure you see everything that's important, but
please remember not to wave or gesture to any North Koreans along
the way. If you do, I'm going to have to remove you from the tour,
send you back to the bus and deal with the situation after we get
back here to the base. And believe me, I'd much rather you enjoy
the tour as much as everyone else instead."
He was reasonable and direct, without being a douchebag about it.
He had done this tour at least a hundred times and it showed.
Suffice it to say we paid attention. And as expected, nobody
created an "international incident". Nice.
BUT...the guy was approachable enough that everyone chimed in with
questions, which he cheerfully and competently answered.
He respected everyone on the tour, and fully expected to BE
respected in return. It was a "non issue" for him, and therefore
it was likewise a "non issue" for all of us.
Sooner than later it occurred to me that this guy's appearance was
VERY, VERY average in just about every respect.
He was of average height and build. And while his face wouldn't
scare small children, he wasn't going to be gracing the cover of GQ
anytime soon.
This was no "prettyboy" magazine model.
But he was CLEARLY a "Big Four" man.
One of the great benefits I enjoy while traveling, obviously, is
Emily's company.
In fact, sharing world travels and the life-long memories that go
along with them is one of many, many reasons why being in a great
long-term relationship beats the tar out of one-night stands.
As such, since she was sitting next to me on the bus I asked her,
"So, do you think this guy has any trouble getting a date?"
"Oh goodness no", was her immediate response.
Indeed.
To say he was confident would be an understatement. Yet, his clear
sense of sober judgment about himself (as opposed to arrogance)
combined with a clear ability to put us at ease was nothing short
of amazing.
We were visiting what is inarguably one of the most politically
tense areas on Earth, yet everyone was laid back about it.
And as far as character goes, there was just something about how he
carried himself that openly demonstrated that passing the necessary
background checks to be in the position he was in must have been no
problem.
I turned to Emily again and said, "OK, now imagine the same guy in
another setting. More tentative, not quite as confident. Maybe
more of an approval-seeking 'Mr. Nice Guy'. There'd be a big
difference in how attractive he is to women, huh?"
"Is that a trick question?" Emily replied...with a laugh.
No kidding. Were this guy to have been lacking in the "Big Four"
department, he'd be "Mr. Normal".
He wouldn't be leading tours to the border between North and South
Korea, that's for sure. And he wouldn't be the kind of man women
notice.
But the fact remained. Perhaps ironically, even while wearing
camouflage this guy stood out from "the crowd".
So what's the takeaway?
Simply this: Even if you are average (or even below average) in
the "natural looks" department, it's going to be the "Big Four"
that TRULY decide whether women NOTICE you or not.
Sure, take care of yourself. Brush your teeth and don't dress like
a slob.
But remember "The Clark Kent Factor" always, and continue to
fine-tune the "Big Four" in your life until you become your own
version of Superman in your own "natural habitat", which is
presumably somewhere outside the DMZ.
And by all means do so without the tights, please.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. If you are a member of the Power Sessions inner circle, be on
the lookout for something very cool in a few days. Let's just say
you're about to get a whole new take on how important WISDOM is to
women, and how to getchasum.
If you're NOT a Power Sessions member, you're missing out on the
"elite" benefits. Let me tell you, being an "elite" member of the
frequent flier program for the airline we were on for 13 hours back
and forth to Asia this past week was SWEET.
That's sort of what like being on Power Sessions is like. Consider
it the red-carpet treatment.
Unlimited priority e-mail access. First dibs on new specials (and
even some unannounced ones). And, of course, access to advanced
teaching on very specific topics that are flat-out unavailable to
everyone else.
Best of all, you can try Power Sessions for a month absolutely
f-r-e-e with any purchase from the store...even if you snap up that
$1 Holiday Hookups audio program I mentioned last week. For real.
Check out the store here:
http://bit.ly/DLmGF
=====
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