[X&Y] Resolve THIS...
Published: Fri, 01/01/10
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS NEW YEAR EDITION
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WHAT'S INSIDE: Today you've probably already heard a lot about
"New Year's Resolutions". Here's a completely different (and more
effective) way to look at it...along with some cool "resolution resources"
for you.
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RESOLVE THIS
The idea of making a "New Year's resolution" is one of the most
tired, old, worn out "traditions" I can think of.
Every January 1st we all make one. And by about January 10th
RESOLVE THIS
The idea of making a "New Year's resolution" is one of the most
tired, old, worn out "traditions" I can think of.
Every January 1st we all make one. And by about January 10th
we've all usually given up on it (or flat-out forgotten about it) already.
I think I've figured out why this is the case.
Simply, it's because the question, "What's your New Year's
resolution?" has become as much of a default during the first week
of January as asking "How are you?" when greeting someone is
I think I've figured out why this is the case.
Simply, it's because the question, "What's your New Year's
resolution?" has become as much of a default during the first week
of January as asking "How are you?" when greeting someone is
every other week of the year.
And like we do for the latter question, we make sure we have a
shiny, positive answer ready for the former.
This means, of course, that HAVING an answer is more important
And like we do for the latter question, we make sure we have a
shiny, positive answer ready for the former.
This means, of course, that HAVING an answer is more important
than CARING about the answer.
So in a sense, "resolutions" are cheap this time of year.
Sure, we can know deep down that getting the job done would be a
good idea. But if the "heavy lifting" ultimately mattered little
to us until now, what's going to make January 1st any different?
Having ruminated upon all of this since sending you that last
message a couple of days ago, I've (ironically enough) decided to
come up with a slightly New Year's resolution this year anyway...
albeit a radically different one than usual.
Actually, it's a two-part resolution, but bear with me.
First, I resolve to make more resolutions more often, all year
long. That is, I'm making a "resolution to resolve".
And going along with that, I resolve to KEEP my resolutions.
Essentially, what I'm aiming to do is form a HABIT of intentionally
improving every aspect of my being that could use it. No more
"one and done" resolutions that the calendar coerced me into
So in a sense, "resolutions" are cheap this time of year.
Sure, we can know deep down that getting the job done would be a
good idea. But if the "heavy lifting" ultimately mattered little
to us until now, what's going to make January 1st any different?
Having ruminated upon all of this since sending you that last
message a couple of days ago, I've (ironically enough) decided to
come up with a slightly New Year's resolution this year anyway...
albeit a radically different one than usual.
Actually, it's a two-part resolution, but bear with me.
First, I resolve to make more resolutions more often, all year
long. That is, I'm making a "resolution to resolve".
And going along with that, I resolve to KEEP my resolutions.
Essentially, what I'm aiming to do is form a HABIT of intentionally
improving every aspect of my being that could use it. No more
"one and done" resolutions that the calendar coerced me into
making.
And further, I'm going to SHOW SOME CHARACTER and actually
And further, I'm going to SHOW SOME CHARACTER and actually
DO what I tell myself I'm going to do.
Now, what I'm about to say may be like dropping a bomb. I know it
seemed like that for me when the "light bulb" went on earlier this
morning.
Here it is: If I can't make good on promises I make to MYSELF,
then why should I be trusted to make promises to anyone else?
Surely, if I let MYSELF down on a regular basis (and I live here),
then why should ANYONE ELSE think I'd come through for them?
Seriously, the concept at play here is about as binary as today's
01/10/10 dateline.
Either I am a man of character whose actions follow his words, or
I'm NOT.
When thought about that way, it's a true game changer for the whole
idea of making "resolutions".
After all, "resolution" is virtually synonymous with "promise".
And here's the craziest part of all.
"Character", remember, is one of the "Big Four".
So in a very real way, making a resolution to KEEP your resolutions
actually IS--in and of itself--a resolution to "get better with
women". See how that works?
Furthermore, ambition, motivation and passion ATTRACT women.
They're MASCULINE traits, as defined by women themselves.
A man with a goal and a confident plan for accomplishing it in turn
inspires confidence in a woman. So making a "resolution to
resolve" fits that persona hand-in-glove.
Wrap up everything we're discussing here and you've got the "Big
Four" (masculinity, confidence, inspiring confidence in women,
character) covered.
Did I get your attention yet?
Perhaps you were expecting me to give you some "rah-rah" pep talk
about how you should resolve to get better with women in 2010, like
every other dating coach is doing today.
And rest assured, I JUST DID. Far be it from me to disappoint you.
But before I close, I want to share something else with you that's
relevant to this conversation, and that you may find as
particularly intriguing as I do.
Whenever a guy begins a Ten-Plus program with me, I give him what
Now, what I'm about to say may be like dropping a bomb. I know it
seemed like that for me when the "light bulb" went on earlier this
morning.
Here it is: If I can't make good on promises I make to MYSELF,
then why should I be trusted to make promises to anyone else?
Surely, if I let MYSELF down on a regular basis (and I live here),
then why should ANYONE ELSE think I'd come through for them?
Seriously, the concept at play here is about as binary as today's
01/10/10 dateline.
Either I am a man of character whose actions follow his words, or
I'm NOT.
When thought about that way, it's a true game changer for the whole
idea of making "resolutions".
After all, "resolution" is virtually synonymous with "promise".
And here's the craziest part of all.
"Character", remember, is one of the "Big Four".
So in a very real way, making a resolution to KEEP your resolutions
actually IS--in and of itself--a resolution to "get better with
women". See how that works?
Furthermore, ambition, motivation and passion ATTRACT women.
They're MASCULINE traits, as defined by women themselves.
A man with a goal and a confident plan for accomplishing it in turn
inspires confidence in a woman. So making a "resolution to
resolve" fits that persona hand-in-glove.
Wrap up everything we're discussing here and you've got the "Big
Four" (masculinity, confidence, inspiring confidence in women,
character) covered.
Did I get your attention yet?
Perhaps you were expecting me to give you some "rah-rah" pep talk
about how you should resolve to get better with women in 2010, like
every other dating coach is doing today.
And rest assured, I JUST DID. Far be it from me to disappoint you.
But before I close, I want to share something else with you that's
relevant to this conversation, and that you may find as
particularly intriguing as I do.
Whenever a guy begins a Ten-Plus program with me, I give him what
I call an Initial Assignment.
As you may be aware, Ten-Plus is a guided 1-on-1 coaching plan
that's customized for each individual to take him from where he is
today to exactly where he wants to be when it comes to success
As you may be aware, Ten-Plus is a guided 1-on-1 coaching plan
that's customized for each individual to take him from where he is
today to exactly where he wants to be when it comes to success
with women.
Obviously, before I can build the right outline for such a custom
plan I need to KNOW where the guy it's designed for is today and
where he wants to be, right?
So the very first section of the Initial Assignment is this: "List
25 things you would like to do/see/have in your lifetime."
Every guy's response tends to be completely unique, which is a good
thing. But there is one amazing thread of commonality between
those responses.
Usually, at least HALF of the items on any particular man's list
could be accomplished AT WILL and AT ANY TIME...were they only
Obviously, before I can build the right outline for such a custom
plan I need to KNOW where the guy it's designed for is today and
where he wants to be, right?
So the very first section of the Initial Assignment is this: "List
25 things you would like to do/see/have in your lifetime."
Every guy's response tends to be completely unique, which is a good
thing. But there is one amazing thread of commonality between
those responses.
Usually, at least HALF of the items on any particular man's list
could be accomplished AT WILL and AT ANY TIME...were they only
to get slotted on the schedule and MADE TIME FOR.
We're talking about things like, "take salsa dancing lessons",
"drive a 2010 Camaro" and even "watch a sunset from beginning to
end".
Gentlemen, what's on your "bucket list"? Are there items on there
that are as easily arranged in real life as they are dreamed about?
And wait...can you even THINK of 25 items to fill out such a list?
Remember, having the kind of inspired life that women want to be
part of is a HUGE factor in attracting the highest quality ones.
If you go to your day job, come home and watch the tube, wake up
the next morning and do the SAME THING the next day you're bringing
NOTHING to the table.
If that's your lifestyle, you're not LEADING in a way that's
ATTRACTIVE to women. She can remain bored and uninspired
We're talking about things like, "take salsa dancing lessons",
"drive a 2010 Camaro" and even "watch a sunset from beginning to
end".
Gentlemen, what's on your "bucket list"? Are there items on there
that are as easily arranged in real life as they are dreamed about?
And wait...can you even THINK of 25 items to fill out such a list?
Remember, having the kind of inspired life that women want to be
part of is a HUGE factor in attracting the highest quality ones.
If you go to your day job, come home and watch the tube, wake up
the next morning and do the SAME THING the next day you're bringing
NOTHING to the table.
If that's your lifestyle, you're not LEADING in a way that's
ATTRACTIVE to women. She can remain bored and uninspired
WITHOUT YOU, thank you very much.
So my challenge to you is this: Why not take the time to write out
your own "list of 25" and let that kick start your own "resolution
to resolve"?
If you find yourself jotting down stuff you can actually GET DONE
if you'd simply make a move, so be it. Make today the day you get
going on those...for real.
And if you find yourself writing down loftier goals that will take
some time, ingenuity and even pure luck...that's cool also. Start
putting your ducks in order so those dreams and visions start
appearing to draw nearer to you.
Should some of the items on your list involve travel or other
experiences that might involve rearranging your expenses a little,
start asking yourself whether or not there really is always
something more pressing to do with your hard-earned money than
So my challenge to you is this: Why not take the time to write out
your own "list of 25" and let that kick start your own "resolution
to resolve"?
If you find yourself jotting down stuff you can actually GET DONE
if you'd simply make a move, so be it. Make today the day you get
going on those...for real.
And if you find yourself writing down loftier goals that will take
some time, ingenuity and even pure luck...that's cool also. Start
putting your ducks in order so those dreams and visions start
appearing to draw nearer to you.
Should some of the items on your list involve travel or other
experiences that might involve rearranging your expenses a little,
start asking yourself whether or not there really is always
something more pressing to do with your hard-earned money than
the 25 biggest dreams you have in life.
Believe me, there's ALWAYS going to be something that seems in
Believe me, there's ALWAYS going to be something that seems in
the moment to be a "better" use of funds than taking that trip to
Australia.
Furthermore, stare "fear of failure" in the face and boldly stop
letting yourself down. Take that "list of 25" and RUN WITH IT.
Even if you find it contains some typical "resolution"-type tasks
to accomplish, that's fine also. If you need to quit smoking, lose
weight AND make more money this year...why stick to one?
Whatever a "resolution to resolve" means to you, by all means
consider making that promise to yourself.
But just the same, I'll check in with you in about ten days, deal?
Happy New Year to you.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
Australia.
Furthermore, stare "fear of failure" in the face and boldly stop
letting yourself down. Take that "list of 25" and RUN WITH IT.
Even if you find it contains some typical "resolution"-type tasks
to accomplish, that's fine also. If you need to quit smoking, lose
weight AND make more money this year...why stick to one?
Whatever a "resolution to resolve" means to you, by all means
consider making that promise to yourself.
But just the same, I'll check in with you in about ten days, deal?
Happy New Year to you.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. Remember, today is the LAST DAY before the holiday 'gift card'
fields get removed from all of our order pages.
So if you've been either hiding under a rock or trapped under something
extremely heavy for the past week and haven't yet cashed in on yours,
NOW IS THE TIME.
Here are the details:
YES...this is FOR REAL and you can spend your gift card like a $20
bill at the X & Y Communications Store, even on items under $20.
And YES...you can get a f-r-e-e month of Power Sessions even if you
get something that goes for less than $20. (That's been a popular
question.)
And now, as promised, here are some "resolution resources" for you...
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RESOLUTION RESOURCES
After telling you guys how I was using Brad Howard's Adonis Effect
as part of my plan to get into shape, a number of you e-mailed me
wanting to know the rest.
Several others asked me about resources for tackling other popular
"resolutions".
Well, again...the important part is to recognize that making promises
to yourself should become HABIT rather than a once-a-year gig, and
that you've GOT to make good on those promises as a man of
character.
But that said, here are my recommendations:
LOSING WEIGHT: Here's the other secret to my own personal success
in getting back into shape. I've found this to be excellent, and it doesn't
RESOLUTION RESOURCES
After telling you guys how I was using Brad Howard's Adonis Effect
as part of my plan to get into shape, a number of you e-mailed me
wanting to know the rest.
Several others asked me about resources for tackling other popular
"resolutions".
Well, again...the important part is to recognize that making promises
to yourself should become HABIT rather than a once-a-year gig, and
that you've GOT to make good on those promises as a man of
character.
But that said, here are my recommendations:
LOSING WEIGHT: Here's the other secret to my own personal success
in getting back into shape. I've found this to be excellent, and it doesn't
cost a lot. Just never mind the weird cartoons:
http://bit.ly/8FlwPc
BECOMING MORE EFFICIENT, MAKING MORE MONEY, ETC.:
http://bit.ly/8FlwPc
BECOMING MORE EFFICIENT, MAKING MORE MONEY, ETC.:
Not being a big fan of "get rich quick" schemes, I found this program--
which costs nothing to join--to be completely different and cool. The guy
who runs it is very smart, and it covers lots of unexpected but very
valuable areas:
http://bit.ly/5rtFqU
QUITTING SMOKING: I'll be honest, I had to research this one a bit
for you, but this seems to be the hands-down most popular resource
out there:
http://bit.ly/53yRCR
FINDING DIRECTION / MOTIVATION: This is probably the most
http://bit.ly/5rtFqU
QUITTING SMOKING: I'll be honest, I had to research this one a bit
for you, but this seems to be the hands-down most popular resource
out there:
http://bit.ly/53yRCR
FINDING DIRECTION / MOTIVATION: This is probably the most
creative and flat-out cool strategy I've seen for transforming yourself
into a man with a plan of action for his life. Even if you're the most
ambitious dude on Earth, this is STILL worth a look...just to see it:
http://bit.ly/8kKvuI
GETTING IN SHAPE: And, of course, here's the link to Brad
ambitious dude on Earth, this is STILL worth a look...just to see it:
http://bit.ly/8kKvuI
GETTING IN SHAPE: And, of course, here's the link to Brad
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...drop your email in the annoying popup window, and download "Get
The First Date...And The Second Date" for free. Or, just send a
blank email to "xandy@aweber.com". Easy stuff.
X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's all about straight talk about the most creative
In fact, did a friend forward YOU this message? To receive this
newsletter for men from X & Y Communications on a regular basis,
simply visit our main portal...
http://bit.ly/ohBdR
...drop your email in the annoying popup window, and download "Get
The First Date...And The Second Date" for free. Or, just send a
blank email to "xandy@aweber.com". Easy stuff.
X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's all about straight talk about the most creative
subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles
while being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic stuff you've heard a million times isn't
rehashed around here. Enjoy!
Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute
professional advice.
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2010. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.
while being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic stuff you've heard a million times isn't
rehashed around here. Enjoy!
Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute
professional advice.
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2010. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.