[X&Y] Sick Of Doing All The Work When It Comes To Women? Read This...
Published: Tue, 03/30/10
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
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WHAT'S INSIDE: You're out with a woman and she seems to like
you...but it's always YOU who is picking up the phone to call,
sending the first text, and the like. Is it still safe to say she's
=====
WHAT'S INSIDE: You're out with a woman and she seems to like
you...but it's always YOU who is picking up the phone to call,
sending the first text, and the like. Is it still safe to say she's
interested?
And assuming so, how do you take your mutual interest to the next
level?
If you've ever been in a situation like this, Andrew in Denver is
And assuming so, how do you take your mutual interest to the next
level?
If you've ever been in a situation like this, Andrew in Denver is
right there with you...
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READER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS
Hey Scot,
I don't know if you have time to reply but I have a question.
I recently meet a woman on Match.com. We started with a few emails
then with an online chat that lasted about an hour and a half.
We talked on the phone twice for a total of about 3 hours.
We have gone out three times, I really like her and honestly I
don't remember the last time I had such a great connection with
someone.
My concern is that it seems to be a little one sided. I really do
think she likes me because when we are together she is very
affectionate towards me, but it seems like when we are not together
I am the only one trying to make contact.
I may call her or send her a "good morning" text or a "how was your
day" text. I have only received one text like that from her, and we
have been talking for over three weeks.
Am I reading too much into it?
Also, is three really great dates enough time to suggest that we
try to make it a little more serious? Or should I just let things
progress naturally? Thanks.
Andrew (Denver, CO)
=====
Hello Andrew:
Not to worry. Most women are taught to let the man take the lead
when it comes to initiating interaction.
If it really eats at you, go ahead and acknowledge it to her just
to see how she reacts. For example, "I've noticed you're very
traditional...preferring the man take the lead when it comes to
phone calls and things like that."
Note that you aren't complaining, challenging or worrying. You're
simply stating a fact. Note especially that you're confidently
calling out the "elephant in the room", like we've talked about
before in this newsletter rather than "running away" from the
issue.
If she flat-out hasn't realized that you're doing all the calling
and texting, it may be because that's simply her "unconscious"
habit when relating to men. And if so, that's not unusual for
women who have been raised around "traditional" thinking from a
young age.
Be careful if that's the situation, though. She may launch into a
stream of "I'm sorrys" if she senses you may be displeased. This
tends to be an all but de facto practice among women, doesn't it?
Although saying "I'm sorry" a lot can be a sign of low self-esteem
if it occurs often enough, she may genuinely feel in this scenario
that she's let you down.
On the other hand, she may openly acknowledge that she's indeed
been intentional about waiting for you to contact her first.
=====
READER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS
Hey Scot,
I don't know if you have time to reply but I have a question.
I recently meet a woman on Match.com. We started with a few emails
then with an online chat that lasted about an hour and a half.
We talked on the phone twice for a total of about 3 hours.
We have gone out three times, I really like her and honestly I
don't remember the last time I had such a great connection with
someone.
My concern is that it seems to be a little one sided. I really do
think she likes me because when we are together she is very
affectionate towards me, but it seems like when we are not together
I am the only one trying to make contact.
I may call her or send her a "good morning" text or a "how was your
day" text. I have only received one text like that from her, and we
have been talking for over three weeks.
Am I reading too much into it?
Also, is three really great dates enough time to suggest that we
try to make it a little more serious? Or should I just let things
progress naturally? Thanks.
Andrew (Denver, CO)
=====
Hello Andrew:
Not to worry. Most women are taught to let the man take the lead
when it comes to initiating interaction.
If it really eats at you, go ahead and acknowledge it to her just
to see how she reacts. For example, "I've noticed you're very
traditional...preferring the man take the lead when it comes to
phone calls and things like that."
Note that you aren't complaining, challenging or worrying. You're
simply stating a fact. Note especially that you're confidently
calling out the "elephant in the room", like we've talked about
before in this newsletter rather than "running away" from the
issue.
If she flat-out hasn't realized that you're doing all the calling
and texting, it may be because that's simply her "unconscious"
habit when relating to men. And if so, that's not unusual for
women who have been raised around "traditional" thinking from a
young age.
Be careful if that's the situation, though. She may launch into a
stream of "I'm sorrys" if she senses you may be displeased. This
tends to be an all but de facto practice among women, doesn't it?
Although saying "I'm sorry" a lot can be a sign of low self-esteem
if it occurs often enough, she may genuinely feel in this scenario
that she's let you down.
On the other hand, she may openly acknowledge that she's indeed
been intentional about waiting for you to contact her first.
She may also be prompted at that point to ask you if you either like it
that way or have a problem with it. But at least you'll have
reassurance that she's indeed like that rather than losing interest
in you.
EITHER WAY she responds, it's important at that point to take the
lead (as she wants you to anyway, Mr. Dumas) and reassure her that
you find her old-fashioned outlook refreshing and that you LIKE it.
And if you get nothing more than "I don't know", or some sort of
hesitation--it's time to watch carefully. Is she just being shy or
is she hemming and hawing over the fact that she really isn't as
sold on you as you think?
that way or have a problem with it. But at least you'll have
reassurance that she's indeed like that rather than losing interest
in you.
EITHER WAY she responds, it's important at that point to take the
lead (as she wants you to anyway, Mr. Dumas) and reassure her that
you find her old-fashioned outlook refreshing and that you LIKE it.
And if you get nothing more than "I don't know", or some sort of
hesitation--it's time to watch carefully. Is she just being shy or
is she hemming and hawing over the fact that she really isn't as
sold on you as you think?
Watch the rest of her interaction with you carefully and connect the
dots.
But in all likelihood, if you're gut feeling is that she's indeed
attracted to you, she's probably just "old school". You'll be fine.
As for how slow or fast you want to take things from there, you're
the man. You lead. Your reality is manufactured by YOU.
The good news is she'll almost certainly LIKE THAT about you also.
If you are a man who has options and you think this woman is
particularly terrific vis-à-vis others you've considered, then
you'll have plenty of clarity when it comes to making her your
steady girlfriend or not.
But feel free to take your time and enjoy all the steps on the path
to getting to know each other well enough for that.
Remember always: It's when we're desperate to hold on to any woman
who likes us and can fog a mirror that we're in trouble.
Cheers,
Scot
=====
Be honest... Have you ever been in Andrew's position before?
You're pretty sure the woman you're seeing is attracted to you, but
there's that ONE THING that's eating away at your confidence.
Don't you wish you could carry that almost regal brand of
confidence into your interactions with her that almost invariably
makes women EVEN MORE attracted to you than ever?
We've all been there, man. I can't tell you how many times I've
met a woman I really liked but let that little twinge of doubt
literally ruin my chances with her.
The worst part? It usually was ALL IN MY HEAD. Except my fear
and doubt caused me to become a walking self-fulfilling prophecy.
Why? Because women REALLY do respond to a man's leadership...
But in all likelihood, if you're gut feeling is that she's indeed
attracted to you, she's probably just "old school". You'll be fine.
As for how slow or fast you want to take things from there, you're
the man. You lead. Your reality is manufactured by YOU.
The good news is she'll almost certainly LIKE THAT about you also.
If you are a man who has options and you think this woman is
particularly terrific vis-à-vis others you've considered, then
you'll have plenty of clarity when it comes to making her your
steady girlfriend or not.
But feel free to take your time and enjoy all the steps on the path
to getting to know each other well enough for that.
Remember always: It's when we're desperate to hold on to any woman
who likes us and can fog a mirror that we're in trouble.
Cheers,
Scot
=====
Be honest... Have you ever been in Andrew's position before?
You're pretty sure the woman you're seeing is attracted to you, but
there's that ONE THING that's eating away at your confidence.
Don't you wish you could carry that almost regal brand of
confidence into your interactions with her that almost invariably
makes women EVEN MORE attracted to you than ever?
We've all been there, man. I can't tell you how many times I've
met a woman I really liked but let that little twinge of doubt
literally ruin my chances with her.
The worst part? It usually was ALL IN MY HEAD. Except my fear
and doubt caused me to become a walking self-fulfilling prophecy.
Why? Because women REALLY do respond to a man's leadership...
for better or worse.
But you don't have to worry about anything of that sort any more.
My program The Leading Man shows you how to handle every possible
angle to managing relationships with high quality women...everything
from evaluating her "long term potential" to handling conflict in
relationships is in there:
The Leading Man + Igniting Femininity
Seriously, if you want the ultimate toolkit for mastering everything that
But you don't have to worry about anything of that sort any more.
My program The Leading Man shows you how to handle every possible
angle to managing relationships with high quality women...everything
from evaluating her "long term potential" to handling conflict in
relationships is in there:
The Leading Man + Igniting Femininity
Seriously, if you want the ultimate toolkit for mastering everything that
comes AFTER pickup, then The Leading Man is for you...no doubt.
And right now I've got a special announcement for you that's going to
And right now I've got a special announcement for you that's going to
make getting your hands on The Leading Man even more of a "no
brainer".
For months now you've been hammering me to give you ONE
RESOURCE that contains EVERY PRACTICAL WAY to do what I call
"igniting femininity".
Sure, I can give you an example or two in a newsletter here and there,
Sure, I can give you an example or two in a newsletter here and there,
but I still get LOTS of e-mails asking, "What does 'igniting femininity'
ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE in
the real world ?" or "How do I REALLY DO
THAT?"
Fair enough. You want ALL THE ANSWERS...all in ONE PLACE.
Well, I've just finished a BRAND NEW audio program called:
Fair enough. You want ALL THE ANSWERS...all in ONE PLACE.
Well, I've just finished a BRAND NEW audio program called:
Igniting Femininity: 14 Ways Women Define True Masculinity
In this 54-minute program you can expect to gain a CRYSTAL CLEAR
picture of what about a real man TRULY turns women on. And we're
talking ANY woman ANYWHERE on Earth, as long as she's the vision
of natural femininity that turns YOU on.
(Makes perfect sense, right?)
And YES...you can ALSO expect to get your hands on that very audio
(Makes perfect sense, right?)
And YES...you can ALSO expect to get your hands on that very audio
program as a SPECIAL BONUS when you get your copy of The Leading
Man between now and the end of this month ONLY.
That's midnight TOMORROW NIGHT, Pacific Daylight Time, for those of
That's midnight TOMORROW NIGHT, Pacific Daylight Time, for those of
you keeping score at home.
The Leading Man + Igniting Femininity
But you're not going to want to wait until the closing bell for this.
That special bonus audio program is yours, and I'll send it to you
along with your access to The Leading Man Member's Area:
The Leading Man + Igniting Femininity
Don't look for it on the web page, though, since this special bonus is
The Leading Man + Igniting Femininity
But you're not going to want to wait until the closing bell for this.
That special bonus audio program is yours, and I'll send it to you
along with your access to The Leading Man Member's Area:
The Leading Man + Igniting Femininity
Don't look for it on the web page, though, since this special bonus is
only available to you through the weekend.
All I ask is that you e-mail me at scot@deservewhatyouwant.com and
send me your feedback on it, since it is indeed hot off the press as of
All I ask is that you e-mail me at scot@deservewhatyouwant.com and
send me your feedback on it, since it is indeed hot off the press as of
this very morning.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. That brand new Igniting Femininity audio is NOT going to be
I'll talk to you again soon.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. That brand new Igniting Femininity audio is NOT going to be
available as a stand-alone program. It has been especially designed
to be a special bonus just for you when you get The Leading Man. Enjoy!
=====
If you like what you've read, please feel free to forward this
newsletter to others. Help a friend out.
In fact, did a friend forward YOU this message? To receive this
newsletter for men from X & Y Communications on a regular basis,
simply visit our main portal...
www.deservewhatyouwant.com
...drop your email in the annoying popup window, and download "Get
The First Date...And The Second Date" for free. Or, just send a
blank email to "xandy@aweber.com". Easy stuff.
X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's all about straight talk about the most
creative subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles
while being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic stuff you've heard a million times isn't
rehashed around here. Enjoy!
Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute
professional advice.
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2010. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.
If you like what you've read, please feel free to forward this
newsletter to others. Help a friend out.
In fact, did a friend forward YOU this message? To receive this
newsletter for men from X & Y Communications on a regular basis,
simply visit our main portal...
www.deservewhatyouwant.com
...drop your email in the annoying popup window, and download "Get
The First Date...And The Second Date" for free. Or, just send a
blank email to "xandy@aweber.com". Easy stuff.
X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's all about straight talk about the most
creative subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles
while being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic stuff you've heard a million times isn't
rehashed around here. Enjoy!
Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
professional advice.
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2010. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.