[X&Y] Can You Charm Her Too Much?
Published: Thu, 04/22/10
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
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WHAT'S INSIDE: Could this be the "final frontier" of mastery with
women? Read on to find out exactly what I'm talking about.
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CAN YOU CHARM HER TOO MUCH?
Several years ago I knew a woman who had a very real problem.
=====
WHAT'S INSIDE: Could this be the "final frontier" of mastery with
women? Read on to find out exactly what I'm talking about.
=====
CAN YOU CHARM HER TOO MUCH?
Several years ago I knew a woman who had a very real problem.
She couldn't get past the second or third date with a guy without him
showing up for the fourth date with a ring.
Essentially, every single guy she agreed to go on a date
with-pretty much without exception--fell in love, fell hard, and
knew very quickly that he'd be foolish to let this woman go.
So this was a rare woman indeed. And guys sensed it. They all
WANTED to marry her. No "freedom loss" or "cutting their nuts
off". They DESIRED a committed relationship with this woman...
showing up for the fourth date with a ring.
Essentially, every single guy she agreed to go on a date
with-pretty much without exception--fell in love, fell hard, and
knew very quickly that he'd be foolish to let this woman go.
So this was a rare woman indeed. And guys sensed it. They all
WANTED to marry her. No "freedom loss" or "cutting their nuts
off". They DESIRED a committed relationship with this woman...
and FAST.
She was beautiful, talented, fun to be around, earned a multiple
six-figure income, and was of impeccable character. She seemed
She was beautiful, talented, fun to be around, earned a multiple
six-figure income, and was of impeccable character. She seemed
21 though her chronological age was 35.
And she was also humble and utterly blind to social pretense. In
her mind, all she was ever doing on dates was being her smiling,
affable self.
But begrudgingly, she knew she had to do what she had to do. So
she did what I refer to as "Charm Throttling".
Seriously...she began to ratchet back the "shock and awe" of her
overall sharpness a few notches when she started dating a guy.
Now, by no means did she change who she was at her core. Not at
all. Rather, she simply held a few of the more impressive cards in
her deck in reserve for a while.
When you find yourself face to face with a woman of fantastically
exceptional quality, you may very well find that she behaves toward
you in a similar manner. So "heads up", there.
But I have a better reason for bringing all this up. And that is
that I fully expect YOU to have to learn this lesson for yourself
in the very near future, because it's not exactly a gender specific
one.
You may even need to figure it out RIGHT NOW, yet you don't even
realize it yet.
Here's the deal.
Granted, the vast majority of guys out there will spend their
entire lives begging for a date with even mediocre women. Of the
minority that remain, most will be thrilled to end up with a great
woman...ANY great woman.
But just like the woman I just told you about was a rare, exquisite
gem amongst a sea of women who wonder why their boyfriends (if any)
hang around for years without marrying them, you have the ability
to be an AMAZING MAN who stops even the sharpest women dead in
their tracks.
Women actively COMPETE to WIN guys like that.
And you guessed it: Those are the guys who have TOTAL CONTROL
And she was also humble and utterly blind to social pretense. In
her mind, all she was ever doing on dates was being her smiling,
affable self.
But begrudgingly, she knew she had to do what she had to do. So
she did what I refer to as "Charm Throttling".
Seriously...she began to ratchet back the "shock and awe" of her
overall sharpness a few notches when she started dating a guy.
Now, by no means did she change who she was at her core. Not at
all. Rather, she simply held a few of the more impressive cards in
her deck in reserve for a while.
When you find yourself face to face with a woman of fantastically
exceptional quality, you may very well find that she behaves toward
you in a similar manner. So "heads up", there.
But I have a better reason for bringing all this up. And that is
that I fully expect YOU to have to learn this lesson for yourself
in the very near future, because it's not exactly a gender specific
one.
You may even need to figure it out RIGHT NOW, yet you don't even
realize it yet.
Here's the deal.
Granted, the vast majority of guys out there will spend their
entire lives begging for a date with even mediocre women. Of the
minority that remain, most will be thrilled to end up with a great
woman...ANY great woman.
But just like the woman I just told you about was a rare, exquisite
gem amongst a sea of women who wonder why their boyfriends (if any)
hang around for years without marrying them, you have the ability
to be an AMAZING MAN who stops even the sharpest women dead in
their tracks.
Women actively COMPETE to WIN guys like that.
And you guessed it: Those are the guys who have TOTAL CONTROL
over their dating lives.
I know what you're saying. "Scot, that's got to be fewer than 1%
of all guys."
Granted. But also remember that over 99% of all guys are too
bullheaded to ask for directions.
And even when guys DO ask for directions when getting better with
women, they end up learning how to "pickup" strippers or something.
So simply by being here, I'd say your odds are pretty good.
By even THINKING about the goal of attracting and building
relationships with the world's sharpest women, you could be in the
top 1% of that 1%. And no...that's not an overstatement.
I can count on one hand the number of men I have known in my social
circle who intentionalized great success with women as such.
But I know multi-millionaires, professional athletes, charismatic
personalities and even really nice guys who "settled".
So once again I'm going to appeal to your sense of ambition and
greatness. I want you to BELIEVE you are capable AND ready to
attract the highest quality women on Earth.
And when you start putting into practice the "Big Four" I'm so fond
of harping on (confidence, ability to inspire confidence, character
and masculinity) you will indeed start seeing phenomenal
occurrences on first and second dates.
Some would call it supernatural, even.
Remember, as a man you LEAD. And women are naturally hard-wired
I know what you're saying. "Scot, that's got to be fewer than 1%
of all guys."
Granted. But also remember that over 99% of all guys are too
bullheaded to ask for directions.
And even when guys DO ask for directions when getting better with
women, they end up learning how to "pickup" strippers or something.
So simply by being here, I'd say your odds are pretty good.
By even THINKING about the goal of attracting and building
relationships with the world's sharpest women, you could be in the
top 1% of that 1%. And no...that's not an overstatement.
I can count on one hand the number of men I have known in my social
circle who intentionalized great success with women as such.
But I know multi-millionaires, professional athletes, charismatic
personalities and even really nice guys who "settled".
So once again I'm going to appeal to your sense of ambition and
greatness. I want you to BELIEVE you are capable AND ready to
attract the highest quality women on Earth.
And when you start putting into practice the "Big Four" I'm so fond
of harping on (confidence, ability to inspire confidence, character
and masculinity) you will indeed start seeing phenomenal
occurrences on first and second dates.
Some would call it supernatural, even.
Remember, as a man you LEAD. And women are naturally hard-wired
to FOLLOW that LEAD.
So the magnitude of the effect you cast upon any woman who agrees
to go out on a date with you could in fact be EXPONENTIALLY greater
than any amount of charm my female friend was able to enrapture
guys with.
Remember, if a woman is out on a date with you, she already found
you attractive.
AND...you've got to bear in mind that who you are at your INNER CORE
is what really grabs a woman by the heartstrings. So WHO YOU ARE
on those first few dates is going to MAKE OR BREAK THAT.
What happens if you are "Mr. Nice Guy", desperate, a "kiss up", a
weak decision maker, a lousy kisser (if able to pull the trigger at
all), boring and/or downright creepy?
Your stock plummets, that's what.
And don't ask how many decent looking, athletic, "GQ" looking dudes
I know who have women smile at them all the time...but can't EVER
move things to the second date.
But when you are a "Big Four" man, you certainly enjoy a near 100%
probability thatfirst dates will naturally turn into second dates
and third dates, etc...for as long as you care to extend things.
We've talked before about how to give a WOMAN the "JBF Talk.
So the magnitude of the effect you cast upon any woman who agrees
to go out on a date with you could in fact be EXPONENTIALLY greater
than any amount of charm my female friend was able to enrapture
guys with.
Remember, if a woman is out on a date with you, she already found
you attractive.
AND...you've got to bear in mind that who you are at your INNER CORE
is what really grabs a woman by the heartstrings. So WHO YOU ARE
on those first few dates is going to MAKE OR BREAK THAT.
What happens if you are "Mr. Nice Guy", desperate, a "kiss up", a
weak decision maker, a lousy kisser (if able to pull the trigger at
all), boring and/or downright creepy?
Your stock plummets, that's what.
And don't ask how many decent looking, athletic, "GQ" looking dudes
I know who have women smile at them all the time...but can't EVER
move things to the second date.
But when you are a "Big Four" man, you certainly enjoy a near 100%
probability that
and third dates, etc...for as long as you care to extend things.
We've talked before about how to give a WOMAN the "JBF Talk.
Get used to that.
But here's something you're also going to have to think about.
Is it really fair to bring your "big guns" on a first date and
charm a woman literally into submission?
I think some of us build up our skills with women then fine-tune
them to a point where we literally don't know the power of our
presence.
This is a stage of development toward mastery with women that I've
never, ever heard any other dating or seduction teacher talk about.
Perhaps because it's the "final frontier" of sorts.
Could it be that the crowning achievement of being excellent with
women is understanding the concept of "Charm Throttling"?
No matter what your answer to that question is, one thing's for
sure: WITHOUT IT, you are not a "master" just yet.
Why?
Because a "Big Four" man who unleashes the full power of his
presence is bringing a bazooka to a knife fight every time he shows
up for a date with a woman.
Make that a NUCLEAR WEAPON.
Sure, your goal is to knock a woman's socks off. So you have your
style and grooming down and you respect women even as you lead
effectively.
But what happens when you can pull that off while making a woman
laugh, AND while making her feel like a REAL WOMAN in your
presence...all the while inspiring that warm-fuzzy "safe" feeling
whenever she is around you?
Well, then you have a BIG PROBLEM, pardner.
That's when you're going to have EVERY WOMAN you go on a first
But here's something you're also going to have to think about.
Is it really fair to bring your "big guns" on a first date and
charm a woman literally into submission?
I think some of us build up our skills with women then fine-tune
them to a point where we literally don't know the power of our
presence.
This is a stage of development toward mastery with women that I've
never, ever heard any other dating or seduction teacher talk about.
Perhaps because it's the "final frontier" of sorts.
Could it be that the crowning achievement of being excellent with
women is understanding the concept of "Charm Throttling"?
No matter what your answer to that question is, one thing's for
sure: WITHOUT IT, you are not a "master" just yet.
Why?
Because a "Big Four" man who unleashes the full power of his
presence is bringing a bazooka to a knife fight every time he shows
up for a date with a woman.
Make that a NUCLEAR WEAPON.
Sure, your goal is to knock a woman's socks off. So you have your
style and grooming down and you respect women even as you lead
effectively.
But what happens when you can pull that off while making a woman
laugh, AND while making her feel like a REAL WOMAN in your
presence...all the while inspiring that warm-fuzzy "safe" feeling
whenever she is around you?
Well, then you have a BIG PROBLEM, pardner.
That's when you're going to have EVERY WOMAN you go on a first
date with FALLING IN LOVE with you...FAST.
Face it, and take it like a man. If you represent the "Big Four",
you representwhat WOMEN WANT .
And almost ZERO PERCENT of all guys can get that right.
Notice I haven't even mentioned good looks, a great education, a
heavy-duty bank account or...God forbid...musical talent just yet.
Whatever you pile on to the "Big Four" is just fuel for the fire
here.
You can--and will--enthrall women like a "one percenter" on the "Big
Four" alone.
So what's a guy at the zenith of masculine attractiveness supposed
to do?
Well, like my female friend did on her dates...you've got to RATCHET
IT BACK.
If you find women are starting to SERIOUSLY try to lock you down
FAST, let that be a CLEAR sign.
It's a sign that you have become ATTRACTIVE to even the sharpest
women. Moreover, it's a blatant indicator that you have COMPLETE
CONTROL over your dating life.
And that means, of course, that you just can't drive that Ferrari
with the pedal to the metal all the time.
REALIZE that your charm will ensnare women. And back off.
Be JUST A BIT colder. JUST A BIT more reserved. HOLD BACK on
Face it, and take it like a man. If you represent the "Big Four",
you represent
And almost ZERO PERCENT of all guys can get that right.
Notice I haven't even mentioned good looks, a great education, a
heavy-duty bank account or...God forbid...musical talent just yet.
Whatever you pile on to the "Big Four" is just fuel for the fire
here.
You can--and will--enthrall women like a "one percenter" on the "Big
Four" alone.
So what's a guy at the zenith of masculine attractiveness supposed
to do?
Well, like my female friend did on her dates...you've got to RATCHET
IT BACK.
If you find women are starting to SERIOUSLY try to lock you down
FAST, let that be a CLEAR sign.
It's a sign that you have become ATTRACTIVE to even the sharpest
women. Moreover, it's a blatant indicator that you have COMPLETE
CONTROL over your dating life.
And that means, of course, that you just can't drive that Ferrari
with the pedal to the metal all the time.
REALIZE that your charm will ensnare women. And back off.
Be JUST A BIT colder. JUST A BIT more reserved. HOLD BACK on
the truly impressive answers you could give to her basic questions.
If you feel her falling fast, DO NOT give her that ridiculous "sky
is falling" kiss that will melt her in to a pool of mush.
It's just NOT FAIR to do that. Once a woman feels comfortable in
your presence and her femininity has been ignited, she will want to
give herself to you sexually.
And once that happens under these circumstances, she's likely got
wedding bells chiming in her head.
And you know about "for whom the bell tolls", right? Welcome to
how even the sharpest of the sharp guys out there end up
"settling".
If the woman you're dealing with happens to have a strong
personality and can "game" you like none other, plan on the Mother
Of All Guilt Trips aimed squarely at keeping you roped in.
What's the ultimate solution here?
You've GOT to keep some if not MOST of your natural, masculine
charm in reserve, and hold it for the woman you WANT to fall in
love with you.
Otherwise, you're flat-out not going to be able to date multiple
women effectively. Having to JBF them all after two dates because
they "fell in love with you" already is decidedly NOT effective.
Remember, YOU are in charge. This means YOU should be able to
manage your relationships well enough to be able to evaluate the
long-term potential of the women in your life on YOUR terms.
Importantly, can you see the difference between "Charm Throttling"
and being someone you're not?
We're not talking about artificially becoming some sort of jerk, or
feigning a type of weakness so as to give women pause.
Not at all. Those are ridiculous ideas.
Rather, this is about RESERVE. This is about opening the window of
who you are JUST A BIT at a time for her.
You remain AUTHENTIC and CONGRUENT to your true, ridiculously
If you feel her falling fast, DO NOT give her that ridiculous "sky
is falling" kiss that will melt her in to a pool of mush.
It's just NOT FAIR to do that. Once a woman feels comfortable in
your presence and her femininity has been ignited, she will want to
give herself to you sexually.
And once that happens under these circumstances, she's likely got
wedding bells chiming in her head.
And you know about "for whom the bell tolls", right? Welcome to
how even the sharpest of the sharp guys out there end up
"settling".
If the woman you're dealing with happens to have a strong
personality and can "game" you like none other, plan on the Mother
Of All Guilt Trips aimed squarely at keeping you roped in.
What's the ultimate solution here?
You've GOT to keep some if not MOST of your natural, masculine
charm in reserve, and hold it for the woman you WANT to fall in
love with you.
Otherwise, you're flat-out not going to be able to date multiple
women effectively. Having to JBF them all after two dates because
they "fell in love with you" already is decidedly NOT effective.
Remember, YOU are in charge. This means YOU should be able to
manage your relationships well enough to be able to evaluate the
long-term potential of the women in your life on YOUR terms.
Importantly, can you see the difference between "Charm Throttling"
and being someone you're not?
We're not talking about artificially becoming some sort of jerk, or
feigning a type of weakness so as to give women pause.
Not at all. Those are ridiculous ideas.
Rather, this is about RESERVE. This is about opening the window of
who you are JUST A BIT at a time for her.
You remain AUTHENTIC and CONGRUENT to your true, ridiculously
sharp self. But you have some respect for the women you are just
meeting.
Now look, if you meet a woman and she can clearly handle the full
impact of who you are without letting you steal her heart in two
dates, then you've likely met your match there. That woman is NOT
who I'm writing to you about today.
That said, don't be fooled by "cool girls" who seem oblivious on
the outside. They can fall just as hard underneath that witty,
tough-talking exterior.
Most of the time, you're going to have to take the wisdom that
comes from recognizing your power as a "Big Four" man on first
dates and exercise caution...and RESERVE...when you first meet
meeting.
Now look, if you meet a woman and she can clearly handle the full
impact of who you are without letting you steal her heart in two
dates, then you've likely met your match there. That woman is NOT
who I'm writing to you about today.
That said, don't be fooled by "cool girls" who seem oblivious on
the outside. They can fall just as hard underneath that witty,
tough-talking exterior.
Most of the time, you're going to have to take the wisdom that
comes from recognizing your power as a "Big Four" man on first
dates and exercise caution...and RESERVE...when you first meet
women.
Can you handle that?
Perhaps the better question is, "Can you BELIEVE that handling that
is even an ISSUE at this time?"
Well, if you need to improve your skills with women, 2009 is YOUR
YEAR to get that done.
And if you're ready to go from GOOD to GREAT like I'm talking about
here? Then the time to improve your game is when you are at the
verypinnacle of it.
Stagnant water doesn't stay pure for very long. It's got to keep
running. And your skills with women are the same way.
And that's why I created The Leading Man Relationship Management
System.
If you want to have REAL-WORLD skill with women, you've got to have
COMPLETE CONTROL over your dating life, and you've got to know
Can you handle that?
Perhaps the better question is, "Can you BELIEVE that handling that
is even an ISSUE at this time?"
Well, if you need to improve your skills with women, 2009 is YOUR
YEAR to get that done.
And if you're ready to go from GOOD to GREAT like I'm talking about
here? Then the time to improve your game is when you are at the
very
Stagnant water doesn't stay pure for very long. It's got to keep
running. And your skills with women are the same way.
And that's why I created The Leading Man Relationship Management
System.
If you want to have REAL-WORLD skill with women, you've got to have
COMPLETE CONTROL over your dating life, and you've got to know
how to LEAD.
Pickup skills last for ten minutes. Relationship management lasts
forever.
Gentlemen, if there's a "revolving door" of women in your life it's
time to QUIT spinning in circles.
And if what I've shared with you today sounds completely
overwhelming to you, it doesn't HAVE TO BE.
I've brought back the INSTANT 35% DISCOUNT on The Leading Man
Pickup skills last for ten minutes. Relationship management lasts
forever.
Gentlemen, if there's a "revolving door" of women in your life it's
time to QUIT spinning in circles.
And if what I've shared with you today sounds completely
overwhelming to you, it doesn't HAVE TO BE.
I've brought back the INSTANT 35% DISCOUNT on The Leading Man
for you. If you have been considering it, now's the time to take a
crucial step toward going from GOOD to GREAT at managing your
relationships with women.
What if you haven't gotten around to taking a look at The Leading
Man? Well, find all about it here:
The Leading Man + Igniting Femininity
When you order from that page, be sure to use the coupon code
"april35".
And by the way, remember how I mentioned that MASCULINITY is a key
component of attracting the highest quality women? Well, one of
the most common questions I get is on how to DEFINE such
masculinity.
Well, if you snag The Leading Man, you'll get a detailed breakdown
of exactly what REAL masculinity looks like according to women.
That's right...I'm giving you another chance to score my new audio
program "Igniting Femininity: 14 Ways Women Define
Masculinity"...but only between now and midnight on Wednesday April,
21st:
The Leading Man + Igniting Femininity
Again, be sure to enter the coupon code "april35" for an INSTANT
35% off. This makes The Leading Man nothing short of a bargain,
especially considering that I've included the "Igniting Femininity"
audio as a special bonus.
Be sure to also get in on the Power Sessions inner circle, if you'd
like. You'll get your first month of unlimited e-mail coaching
and a steady stream of advanced audio and video content for
f-r-e-e.
So at this point I can't imagine what in the world you are waiting
for.
Do you want to be a man who attracts high quality women and calls
the shots? Or do you still...even now...somehow believe that I'm "full
of it" when I talk about going from "good " to "great"?
If you secretly suspect that certain guys are living life exactly
as I'm describing it in this newsletter, allow me to confirm your
suspicions.
No more pointing fingers. It's time for YOU to become that guy.
And I promise it won't take forever to get the job done.
Here's that link again to The Leading Man...don't forget to enter
the coupon code "april35" for an INSTANT 35% OFF:
The Leading Man + Igniting Femininity
I'll talk to you again soon.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. It looks like we have a plan to get home on Monday at this point.
What if you haven't gotten around to taking a look at The Leading
Man? Well, find all about it here:
The Leading Man + Igniting Femininity
When you order from that page, be sure to use the coupon code
"april35".
And by the way, remember how I mentioned that MASCULINITY is a key
component of attracting the highest quality women? Well, one of
the most common questions I get is on how to DEFINE such
masculinity.
Well, if you snag The Leading Man, you'll get a detailed breakdown
of exactly what REAL masculinity looks like according to women.
That's right...I'm giving you another chance to score my new audio
program "Igniting Femininity: 14 Ways Women Define
Masculinity"...but only between now and midnight on Wednesday April,
21st:
The Leading Man + Igniting Femininity
Again, be sure to enter the coupon code "april35" for an INSTANT
35% off. This makes The Leading Man nothing short of a bargain,
especially considering that I've included the "Igniting Femininity"
audio as a special bonus.
Be sure to also get in on the Power Sessions inner circle, if you'd
like. You'll get your first month of unlimited e-mail coaching
and a steady stream of advanced audio and video content for
f-r-e-e.
So at this point I can't imagine what in the world you are waiting
for.
Do you want to be a man who attracts high quality women and calls
the shots? Or do you still...even now...somehow believe that I'm "full
of it" when I talk about going from "good " to "great"?
If you secretly suspect that certain guys are living life exactly
as I'm describing it in this newsletter, allow me to confirm your
suspicions.
No more pointing fingers. It's time for YOU to become that guy.
And I promise it won't take forever to get the job done.
Here's that link again to The Leading Man...don't forget to enter
the coupon code "april35" for an INSTANT 35% OFF:
The Leading Man + Igniting Femininity
I'll talk to you again soon.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. It looks like we have a plan to get home on Monday at this point.
All's well that ends well., and we've made the best of our extra five days as
guests of the EU. Thanks to everyone for your great messages of
encouragement.
=====
If you like what you've read, please feel free to forward this
newsletter to others. Help a friend out.
In fact, did a friend forward YOU this message? To receive this
newsletter for men from X & Y Communications on a regular basis,
simply visit our main portal...
www.deservewhatyouwant.com
...drop your email in the annoying popup window, and download "Get
The First Date...And The Second Date" for free. Or, just send a
blank email to "xandy@aweber.com". Easy stuff.
X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's all about straight talk about the most creative
=====
If you like what you've read, please feel free to forward this
newsletter to others. Help a friend out.
In fact, did a friend forward YOU this message? To receive this
newsletter for men from X & Y Communications on a regular basis,
simply visit our main portal...
www.deservewhatyouwant.com
...drop your email in the annoying popup window, and download "Get
The First Date...And The Second Date" for free. Or, just send a
blank email to "xandy@aweber.com". Easy stuff.
X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's all about straight talk about the most creative
subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles
while being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic stuff you've heard a million times isn't
rehashed around here. Enjoy!
Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute
professional advice.
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2010. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you believe
while being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic stuff you've heard a million times isn't
rehashed around here. Enjoy!
Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
professional advice.
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2010. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you believe
you have been sent this message in error, please respond
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.
and we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.