[X&Y] Are ALL Beautiful Women Cold, Unfriendly And/Or Flaky?
Published: Wed, 06/30/10
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
=====
WHAT'S INSIDE: Do all beautiful women really have cold, distant
=====
WHAT'S INSIDE: Do all beautiful women really have cold, distant
or even unpleasant personalities? Are they all really so flaky all
the time? Things may not be what they seem...here's why.
=====
ARE YOU IN THE "SECOND TIER"?
There are quite a few guys out there who have a common opinion
about particularly beautiful, desirable women.
Basically, they've decided that every one of them has a lousy
personality. They're cold and distant at best, or downright gnarly
at worst.
On top of all else, such guys may even have pronounced the entire
lot of beautiful, sexy women out there as perpetually (and
terminally) flaky.
It just seems like every time you set up a date with one, they
cancel out on you at the eleventh hour.
Frustrating stuff, for sure.
But as for any other scenario in our lives where "everyone else"
seems to act, seem or be a certain way there's a particular truth
that applies. It's not always so nice to hear, but knowing it can
change your life for the better.
That truth is this: Whenever there is a clear "pattern" to how you
are being treated by others, you've got to look in the mirror.
And show me a man who believes that "all" beautiful women are cold,
distant, gnarly or flaky; and I'll show you a guy who is stuck in
the "second tier".
The good news is that being in the "second tier" beats being
flat-out undesirable to women, and therefore never even getting a
date, by a long shot.
But it's still a bummer to be there, no doubt.
So what's the "second tier"?
It's actually very simple.
Despite what you may have always assumed about women either
deciding to go out with a guy or not when he asks her out,
sometimes they're really "on the fence" about it.
Granted, if women always aren't interested in hanging out with
you--and are rude about it--you absolutely, positively have some
soul-searching to do. There's a certain way you're LEADING all
those women to treat you.
But what if she actually agrees to go out with you, but isn't
exactly "Princess Charming" in the process?
And what if women ALL seem to flake out on you at the last minute?
Well, here's what's probably going on...andthe cure .
She probably finds you attractive enough to be potentially
interesting. She may even legitimately WANT to hang out with you.
BUT...you might not have made her feel completely comfortable in your
presence yet. Comfortable enough to "risk" hanging out with you,
yes...but not enough for her to completely open up to you.
OR...you may not have demonstrated enough masculinity, confidence
and/or character for her to place you atop what may be a
considerable list of options available to her.
Remember always: He OR she who has options in his or her dating
life is a "chooser" rather than a chaser.
Now granted, character is going to be a high priority to a woman of
considerable quality, and that takes some time for her to gauge.
It doesn't have to take FOREVER though, and here's a hint: The
first order of business on YOUR side is to demonstrate that you're
looking for the same.
And you do that by being a "chooser" yourself. You reserve your
own right to evaluate, and therefore to choose.
No matter what, though...whether you are right there with her in
"evaluation mode" or busy trying to "escalate" by being a "chaser",
if you're in the "second tier" what she's doing is her own version
of what I call "charm throttling".
You'll recall that "charm throttling" is essentially the concept of
holding back some of the "shock and awe" of your most attractive
self...mostly because women have a tendency to fall for you more
quickly than you're willing to make a firm decision about whether
to go exclusive with them or not.
Bingo. Highly desirable women have the same problem...often on
steroids.
These are NOT women who are upset because their boyfriends hang out
for two or three years and still won't put a ring on their finger.
Rather, these are women who typically can't get past the SECOND
DATE without a guy professing his undying love and devotion to her.
That gets a little monotonous, and it certainly doesn't leave any
time for her to find out much about the guy before things get out
of hand on his side.
So here's the shocking part: These VERY same women who you may
observe to be cold, emotionless or even not-so-nice may actually be
FANTASTIC women underneath the "charm throttled" exterior.
And how about the women I affectionately refer to as "poker faces"?
You know...the ones who just give you NO SIGNALS at all? Often
times, what I'm describing here is EXACTLY what's going on with
them also.
Now here's an interesting twist.
I find that younger women often haven't really figured out how to
deal with guys they've placed in the "second tier" as well as more
mature women.
A younger woman is more likely to play "games" as a way of showing
that she isn't really sold on a guy just yet.
She knows she needs to keep guys she's evaluating at arm's length,
so to speak, but her toolkit is generally limited to turning off
the charm COMPLETELY, canceling dates and/or even being a little
bit snippy or impatient.
Meanwhile, women who have a bit more life experience tend to be a
bit friendlier about putting guys in the "second tier" and have
long since found ways to keep guys there without sacrificing their
character so much.
For example, women who have experienced motherhood have this
uncanny way of playing more of the "mom" persona than the "lover"
persona when around guys they are undecided about.
Sounds crazy, doesn't it? But it's true. If you find yourself on
a date with a woman who still seems to be in "mommy mode" rather
than "milf mode", remember this newsletter. You'll know it when
you see it.
She's feminine, for sure, but somehow kind of "sexless" in an odd
yet still mildly intriguing sort of way.
An even better description would be that she acts FEMALE, but holds
that part of femininity that's directly responsible for IGNITING
MASCULINITY in reserve.
Well, at least she didn't flake on you...I guess.
So how do you get out of the "second tier"?
First of all, you've GOT to stop focusing on trying to get what you
want all the time.
Women who find you confident and masculine in that "Big Four" way
are STILL going to relegate you to the "second tier" if you come
off like a pushy salesman who is trying to "get some".
If, on the other hand, you represent to her what she wants in a man
she'd LOVE a relationship with, you'll bypass all of the artificial
obstacles FAR more quickly.
Remember also that making a woman feel safe and comfortable with
you is a MASSIVE indicator of whether or not she's going to "charm
throttle" you.
The better you are at understanding a woman's best interests and
communicating to her that you "get it", the better off you'll be at
avoiding the "second tier"...always.
But be careful here. When a highly desirable woman bumps you up to
the "first tier", that's usually serious business. That's reserved
for an elite few. She may waste no time in falling for YOU quickly.
That, however, is what I'd call a "high quality problem".
Two footnotes here in closing.
First, it's indeed VERY TRUE that even though a woman may have put
you in the "second tier" she could still have EITHER a black heart
OR a heart of gold under there.
So make no mistake about it. If a woman's holding back on you,
that's when you ESPECIALLY shouldn't be shelling out for expensive
dinners at Ruth's Chris or taking her on "shopping dates".
(Not that there's EVER a good excuse to take a woman on a "shopping
date", right?)
Second, don't ever confuse her willingness to have sex with you as
having been moved up into the "first tier". That often has little
to do with it.
Some women are all about having their sexual needs met, and your
sexual attractiveness might be all it takes for her to indulge.
But she still might not be all that crazy about the idea of keeping
you around long-term. And that means she's not exactly ready for
you to fall in love with her.
So having read this, you may or may not even be INTERESTED in
ascending to the "first tier" with women after all, right?
Sometimes it may actually be to YOUR advantage for women to take
their time with you even as you take your time with them.
But my gut instinct is that I'd rather be the one doing the "charm
throttling".
And I NEVER think it's a good idea to be kicked to the "second
tier" for the reason of having come off as a "pushy salesperson" or
seeming potentially dangerous in some way.
But how you proceed with regard to the rest of what we've covered
here is your call. At least you now know WHY desirable women tend
to do what they do.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. If you like this "no nonsense" approach to relating to women
you've just met, then you'll LOVE The Man's Approach.
If you have been living under a rock and haven't checked it out
yet, here's the link:
The Man's Approach
That's twelve hours of fluff-free audio, six videos, eighteen
special reports and ten bonuses...all wrapped up in a package that's
the perfect combination of mindset preparation and practical steps.
Feedback from guys who have already scored their copy of The Man's
Approach has been universally excellent.
They're saying it's different in a way that respects and empowers
them to meet more women.
They're saying they are confident that the steps I give to
succeeding with women from the minute you meet them come from a
position of strength and character as opposed to tricks and
deception.
Most of all, they're saying that The Man's Approach has somehow
made them PSYCHED to go out and meet women instead of DREADING it.
Here's that link again:
The Man's Approach
=====
If you like what you've read, please feel free to forward this
newsletter to others. Help a friend out.
In fact, did a friend forward YOU this message? To receive this
newsletter for men from X & Y Communications on a regular basis,
simply visit our main portal...
www.deservewhatyouwant.com
...drop your email in the annoying popup window, and download
the time? Things may not be what they seem...here's why.
=====
ARE YOU IN THE "SECOND TIER"?
There are quite a few guys out there who have a common opinion
about particularly beautiful, desirable women.
Basically, they've decided that every one of them has a lousy
personality. They're cold and distant at best, or downright gnarly
at worst.
On top of all else, such guys may even have pronounced the entire
lot of beautiful, sexy women out there as perpetually (and
terminally) flaky.
It just seems like every time you set up a date with one, they
cancel out on you at the eleventh hour.
Frustrating stuff, for sure.
But as for any other scenario in our lives where "everyone else"
seems to act, seem or be a certain way there's a particular truth
that applies. It's not always so nice to hear, but knowing it can
change your life for the better.
That truth is this: Whenever there is a clear "pattern" to how you
are being treated by others, you've got to look in the mirror.
And show me a man who believes that "all" beautiful women are cold,
distant, gnarly or flaky; and I'll show you a guy who is stuck in
the "second tier".
The good news is that being in the "second tier" beats being
flat-out undesirable to women, and therefore never even getting a
date, by a long shot.
But it's still a bummer to be there, no doubt.
So what's the "second tier"?
It's actually very simple.
Despite what you may have always assumed about women either
deciding to go out with a guy or not when he asks her out,
sometimes they're really "on the fence" about it.
Granted, if women always aren't interested in hanging out with
you--and are rude about it--you absolutely, positively have some
soul-searching to do. There's a certain way you're LEADING all
those women to treat you.
But what if she actually agrees to go out with you, but isn't
exactly "Princess Charming" in the process?
And what if women ALL seem to flake out on you at the last minute?
Well, here's what's probably going on...and
She probably finds you attractive enough to be potentially
interesting. She may even legitimately WANT to hang out with you.
BUT...you might not have made her feel completely comfortable in your
presence yet. Comfortable enough to "risk" hanging out with you,
yes...but not enough for her to completely open up to you.
OR...you may not have demonstrated enough masculinity, confidence
and/or character for her to place you atop what may be a
considerable list of options available to her.
Remember always: He OR she who has options in his or her dating
life is a "chooser" rather than a chaser.
Now granted, character is going to be a high priority to a woman of
considerable quality, and that takes some time for her to gauge.
It doesn't have to take FOREVER though, and here's a hint: The
first order of business on YOUR side is to demonstrate that you're
looking for the same.
And you do that by being a "chooser" yourself. You reserve your
own right to evaluate, and therefore to choose.
No matter what, though...whether you are right there with her in
"evaluation mode" or busy trying to "escalate" by being a "chaser",
if you're in the "second tier" what she's doing is her own version
of what I call "charm throttling".
You'll recall that "charm throttling" is essentially the concept of
holding back some of the "shock and awe" of your most attractive
self...mostly because women have a tendency to fall for you more
quickly than you're willing to make a firm decision about whether
to go exclusive with them or not.
Bingo. Highly desirable women have the same problem...often on
steroids.
These are NOT women who are upset because their boyfriends hang out
for two or three years and still won't put a ring on their finger.
Rather, these are women who typically can't get past the SECOND
DATE without a guy professing his undying love and devotion to her.
That gets a little monotonous, and it certainly doesn't leave any
time for her to find out much about the guy before things get out
of hand on his side.
So here's the shocking part: These VERY same women who you may
observe to be cold, emotionless or even not-so-nice may actually be
FANTASTIC women underneath the "charm throttled" exterior.
And how about the women I affectionately refer to as "poker faces"?
You know...the ones who just give you NO SIGNALS at all? Often
times, what I'm describing here is EXACTLY what's going on with
them also.
Now here's an interesting twist.
I find that younger women often haven't really figured out how to
deal with guys they've placed in the "second tier" as well as more
mature women.
A younger woman is more likely to play "games" as a way of showing
that she isn't really sold on a guy just yet.
She knows she needs to keep guys she's evaluating at arm's length,
so to speak, but her toolkit is generally limited to turning off
the charm COMPLETELY, canceling dates and/or even being a little
bit snippy or impatient.
Meanwhile, women who have a bit more life experience tend to be a
bit friendlier about putting guys in the "second tier" and have
long since found ways to keep guys there without sacrificing their
character so much.
For example, women who have experienced motherhood have this
uncanny way of playing more of the "mom" persona than the "lover"
persona when around guys they are undecided about.
Sounds crazy, doesn't it? But it's true. If you find yourself on
a date with a woman who still seems to be in "mommy mode" rather
than "milf mode", remember this newsletter. You'll know it when
you see it.
She's feminine, for sure, but somehow kind of "sexless" in an odd
yet still mildly intriguing sort of way.
An even better description would be that she acts FEMALE, but holds
that part of femininity that's directly responsible for IGNITING
MASCULINITY in reserve.
Well, at least she didn't flake on you...I guess.
So how do you get out of the "second tier"?
First of all, you've GOT to stop focusing on trying to get what you
want all the time.
Women who find you confident and masculine in that "Big Four" way
are STILL going to relegate you to the "second tier" if you come
off like a pushy salesman who is trying to "get some".
If, on the other hand, you represent to her what she wants in a man
she'd LOVE a relationship with, you'll bypass all of the artificial
obstacles FAR more quickly.
Remember also that making a woman feel safe and comfortable with
you is a MASSIVE indicator of whether or not she's going to "charm
throttle" you.
The better you are at understanding a woman's best interests and
communicating to her that you "get it", the better off you'll be at
avoiding the "second tier"...always.
But be careful here. When a highly desirable woman bumps you up to
the "first tier", that's usually serious business. That's reserved
for an elite few. She may waste no time in falling for YOU quickly.
That, however, is what I'd call a "high quality problem".
Two footnotes here in closing.
First, it's indeed VERY TRUE that even though a woman may have put
you in the "second tier" she could still have EITHER a black heart
OR a heart of gold under there.
So make no mistake about it. If a woman's holding back on you,
that's when you ESPECIALLY shouldn't be shelling out for expensive
dinners at Ruth's Chris or taking her on "shopping dates".
(Not that there's EVER a good excuse to take a woman on a "shopping
date", right?)
Second, don't ever confuse her willingness to have sex with you as
having been moved up into the "first tier". That often has little
to do with it.
Some women are all about having their sexual needs met, and your
sexual attractiveness might be all it takes for her to indulge.
But she still might not be all that crazy about the idea of keeping
you around long-term. And that means she's not exactly ready for
you to fall in love with her.
So having read this, you may or may not even be INTERESTED in
ascending to the "first tier" with women after all, right?
Sometimes it may actually be to YOUR advantage for women to take
their time with you even as you take your time with them.
But my gut instinct is that I'd rather be the one doing the "charm
throttling".
And I NEVER think it's a good idea to be kicked to the "second
tier" for the reason of having come off as a "pushy salesperson" or
seeming potentially dangerous in some way.
But how you proceed with regard to the rest of what we've covered
here is your call. At least you now know WHY desirable women tend
to do what they do.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. If you like this "no nonsense" approach to relating to women
you've just met, then you'll LOVE The Man's Approach.
If you have been living under a rock and haven't checked it out
yet, here's the link:
The Man's Approach
That's twelve hours of fluff-free audio, six videos, eighteen
special reports and ten bonuses...all wrapped up in a package that's
the perfect combination of mindset preparation and practical steps.
Feedback from guys who have already scored their copy of The Man's
Approach has been universally excellent.
They're saying it's different in a way that respects and empowers
them to meet more women.
They're saying they are confident that the steps I give to
succeeding with women from the minute you meet them come from a
position of strength and character as opposed to tricks and
deception.
Most of all, they're saying that The Man's Approach has somehow
made them PSYCHED to go out and meet women instead of DREADING it.
Here's that link again:
The Man's Approach
=====
If you like what you've read, please feel free to forward this
newsletter to others. Help a friend out.
In fact, did a friend forward YOU this message? To receive this
newsletter for men from X & Y Communications on a regular basis,
simply visit our main portal...
www.deservewhatyouwant.com
...drop your email in the annoying popup window, and download
"Get The First Date...And The Second Date" for free. Or, just
send a blank email to "xandy@aweber.com". Easy stuff.
X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's all about straight talk about the most creative
X & Y Communications is dedicated to making you the most skilled
participant in the dating world you can be, at whatever stage of
life you are in. It's all about straight talk about the most creative
subjects, somehow encompassing character-based principles
while being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic stuff you've heard a million times isn't
rehashed around here. Enjoy!
Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute
professional advice.
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2010. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you believe
while being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic stuff you've heard a million times isn't
rehashed around here. Enjoy!
Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
professional advice.
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2010. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you believe
you have been sent this message in error, please respond and we
will kindly remove you from our mailing list.