[X&Y] Should You "Care What Others Think"?

Published: Sun, 07/25/10

X & Y COMMUNICATIONS WEEKLY NEWSLETTER


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WHAT'S INSIDE:  Do you care what others think?  "Conventional
wisdom" says you shouldn't...but how's that really working out for
you?   

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A SUMMERTIME GIFT FOR YOU (NO STRINGS ATTACHED)


Are you having as much of a BLAST this summer as I am?

I genuinely hope so.

And just to make it all that much more fun, here's something I came
up with for you completely "out of the blue"...a summertime $20 Gift
Card:



 

I figured summertime was as good an excuse for a celebration as
any, right?

If you were around last Christmas and/or Valentine's Day, you
already know what this is about and you're probably ALREADY all
over it...

But if not, here's how it works.

Simply click on this link below:



Summertime $20 Gift Card



There you'll find all the details on how you can use your $20 Gift
Card exactly like cash at the X & Y Communications store.  

It's really easy, actually.  Just type the code "giftcard20" in the
field marked "Gift Card" when you get to the order page for
anything you have your eye on.

By the way, as you know there have been a number of additions to
the store since the last time I gave out a $20 Gift Card, and
YES...you can use this one for an instant $20 off of literally
ANYTHING you want in the store.

That includes The Man's Approach, The All-In-One pack, the already
value-priced one-year membership to Power Sessions, and more.

You can even put your $20 toward a coaching call if you'd like.

And YES...even if you want to use your $20 Gift Card on something
UNDER $20, that's perfectly cool also.

Like I said, it's like CASH:



Summertime $20 Gift Card



Just remember, you only get ONE shot at it, so make it good.  

I'd also personally recommend getting in on a f-r-e-e month of
Power Sessions no matter what, since that's a great added bonus.  

Once you get in on that, you'll get all of that extra advanced
content and a full month of e-mail coaching on demand.

I'll leave the door open on this for a couple of days for you, but
definitely don't wait to have some fun shopping...on us.



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DO YOU CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK?


As I've mentioned before in a recent newsletter, there's a BIG
difference between what's "macho" and what's "masculine".

"Machismo" tends to cover how we as guys impress each other,
whereas TRUE masculinity is defined by women.  It's what ignites
their femininity in ways that make them hot for us.

Well, based on a coaching call I had the other night I got to
thinking about the concept of "not caring what others think"
relative to all this.

Now, if there has EVER been a "macho" battle cry it's, "I don't
care what other people think".

And over the years, I'd say that just about every one of us has
taken the bait...hook, line and sinker.  Collectively, we'd all
pretty much agree that's what a man SHOULD think.

But in the real world, how we define that concept sometimes doesn't
quite mesh with reality, does it?

I mean, what does it REALLY MEAN "not to care what others think of
us"?

Is it that we don't need to have others like us?   

Certainly a life without friends is a LONELY one indeed.  And being
a "lone wolf" doesn't exactly cause women to fall all over you,
either.

In fact, to live a life with that philosophy is to essentially
proclaim that you "don't need people" at all...and is tantamount to
social suicide

Have you ever actually MET someone who goes around openly saying
that?  I sure have.  

If you have also, you've probably noticed the same pattern as I
have.  Those folks usually deserve EXACTLY what they want, don't
they?  

And it's NOT pretty.

You almost get the feeling that some people out there have blown
this whole bit of "not caring what other people think" WAY, WAY out
of proportion, right?

When you get right down to it, here's a simple truth that most of
us who are NOT sociopaths can relate to:  People who don't need
people tend to be the UNHAPPIEST of people, at least generally
speaking.

If you really stop and consider it, true happiness is tied DIRECTLY
to the quality of our relationships, isn't it?

People who have great friends and, yes...great girlfriends or
wives...are almost always the ones who wouldn't trade their lives
with ANYONE else.

Meanwhile, I know plenty of guys who have EVERYTHING going for
them--the car, the job, the education, the bank account--but not the
woman they truly want.  

And those guys are usually miserable.

I'd even go so far as to say that even if we have FRIENDS, but no
GIRLFRIEND, we may be better off than total loners, but we'll
always feel like something's just, well...missing.

So what gives?

Rest assured I'm not bringing all of this up to bum you out.

Rather, I want to call attention to a different and perhaps more
BENEFICIAL mindset that might better accompany usage of the phrase
"I don't care what people think".

That mindset, as you might have already guessed, would encompass
the truly MASCULINE rendering of the idea rather than the typical
MACHO manifestation of it.  

By that I mean, of course, a way of thinking about the concept that
WOMEN would view as sexually appealing.

So then, were a woman to indeed get TURNED ON by a guy who "doesn't
care what other people think", how would SHE picture what's going
on?

My educated guess is that the relevant ATTRACTIVE trait to a woman
would be more along the lines of not letting one's character be
influenced by the random opinions of others.

The keyword there being "character"...you know, the very linchpin of
the "Big Four".

Contrast that against "not needing people" in general.

The thoughts expressed by others that a real man "won't care about"
might include the ill-conceived opinions of those who haven't
researched a solution quite as well as he has.

He simply won't let "groupthink" override his confidence, provided
he's got true faith in his expertise.

Go watch the movie "Apollo 13" and you'll see men with this kind of
masculine grit play off one another in every scene...with amazing
results.

A real man might also not "care what others think" when he's one of
the few, if any, left in the room who is willing to stand up for a
higher standard of excellence and/or ethics than anyone else.

While others may tempt him to lower those standards, he doesn't
give in to the thought process of the masses.

Or how about this?  When everyone else has already let pessimism
overtake them, a "Big Four" man may have not let negativity cloud
his judgment and indeed still sees light at the end of the
proverbial tunnel.

He presses on where others have given up...and emerges victorious.
And in the end, he's the hero of all.

Yes, any man who indeed goes after a consistently higher standard
of ANYTHING in his life is going to hear "what others think" almost
ALL THE TIME.

And considering how most people are content with mediocrity--even as
they view with jealousy those who enjoy a greater measure of
success than they do--it's shouldn't be surprising when a high
quality man IGNORES the murmuring of the crowd.

That's why an NBA player who has a bad game doesn't read the papers
afterward.

And that's the way it's GOT to be.

After all, what if a leader--a decision maker--were to be blown and
tossed about by the random opinions of others?

Since everyone has a different opinion, he would NEVER be on solid
ground, would he?

Yet...an untold number of men live in exactly that way.

They just do what they're told...by others.   Without ever asking
why.  Without ever having an original thought.

And as a direct result, what's on tap for tomorrow may involve a
completely different set of rules, ethics or what have you in order
to "get by".

Ironically, such men may even follow a blind routine from day to
day without any motivation, ambition or passion...only to come home
at night alone thinking "I don't need people."

And those guys are summarily ignored by high quality women.

Meanwhile, the man who knows what is right and stands his ground
enchants women at their feminine core...even as he's also adored by
his fellow men.

Yes, you just read that correctly.  

As soon as we allow others to manipulate our values and our
resolve, the same people who sought to change our course actually
respect us LESS, don't they?

After all, seeking approval almost always breeds contempt.  You
know that already.

But staying the course, even when not apparently popular, can often
build respect--especially when a greater measure of excellence or a
higher moral standard was at play than most other people were
content to "settle" for.

What does it all come down to?

If you want it all in life, you'll indeed care what people think of
you.  It'll matter to you whether you make friends and influence
people or not.

You'll recognize the value of friends and lovers and truly enjoy
the happiness that those people bring to your life.  

And in turn, you'll do what you can to make life better for others
as well.

But when the chips are down and your masculine core is challenged,
that's when you "won't care what others think".   

"Others", in that case, referring to those who AREN'T among your
most trusted confidants.

And that's the kicker, isn't it?  

In order to truly know the difference between the "conventional"
use of the phrase "I don't care what others think" and the more
effective and meaningful one, you've first got to understand the
importance of those who mean the most to you to begin with.


Be Good,

Scot McKay  


P.S.  By the way, if you'd like to give a Summertime $20 Gift Card
to a friend as a personal gift, I've got your back.

Simply link your friend to:



 
(or http://bit.ly/a6C6Ak)
 
 
...and wish them the best when it comes to success with MOTOS
(members of the opposite sex) this summer.

That's right...your friend can be a guy or a gal, it doesn't matter.
Emily's got some very cool stuff in the X & Y Communications store
for the ladies also.




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