[X&Y] The Women's Version Of "The Big Four"
Published: Wed, 09/22/10
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
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WHAT'S INSIDE: By now you know all about the "Big Four" man. But
what does the "Big Four" woman look like to us? I've come to astartling conclusion. See if you agree...
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CAN YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND WOMEN?
What if you could really get inside the mind of a woman? What if
you knew exactly what it was that she wanted and better yet...what
could satisfy her?
And best of all, what if you knew how to make women crazy for you
even as you were true to your natural masculine nature and remained
a "chooser" rather than a "chaser"?
The truth is that women are NOT so hard to figure out. You can
indeed find out what makes them do and say what they do. Buthere's the thing: You can't think like a man to get the job done.
That's why there's Chick Whispering:
Inspired by the The Chick Whisperer podcast, this full-length
e-book and ten audio modules give you exactly what you need to move
LIGHT YEARS ahead of most other guys.
The format will surprise you. But once you're through the
mindset-enriching experience that is Chick Whispering, you'll have a
formidable edge over other guys. And the women will LOVE you forit...guaranteed:
By the way, the price is right. You can't afford NOT to miss this
opportunity to understand women better than most guys even DESERVE
to...better than most women even understand THEMSELVES.
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THE WOMEN'S VERSION OF THE "BIG FOUR"
A few days ago I was on a coaching call with a guy when an
interesting question came up.
Is there a women's version of the "Big Four"?
In other words, just like the "Big Four" traits in a man represent
what high quality women desire most in a man, are there also four
distinct traits in women that really cause the HIGHEST QUALITY
examples of us guys to recognize greatness in them?
The answer was actually relatively easy to come up with.
Not only is that answer a resounding "yes", there's a surprising
twist: It's actually the SAME LIST...only the female equivalent, of
course.
That's right. We as human beings, male or female, tend to want
something similar from our relationships with MOTOS (members of the
opposite sex).
As such, the "Big Four" are NOT gender specific, save for the
obvious and highly necessary substitution necessary to ensure
proper sexual polarity.
Let me show you exactly what I mean:
1) Confidence
You've heard that "confidence is sexy" a hundred times. And every
time you've heard it there's been no elaboration as to whether
that fact applies to men or to women in particular.That's because it indeed applies to everyone.
There's nothing worse than a woman who doesn't believe she's
competent (except, of course, a man who doesn't). When she second
guesses herself or shies away from social situations it's a turn
off. When she's sheepish around you in public you wonder not only
who she really is under there, but also what she's going to be like
in private (i.e. behind closed doors).
You betcha. We as guys love women who know they've "got it" and
carry themselves accordingly.
2) Femininity
Feminine women want a masculine man. And yes, you as a masculine
man want a feminine woman.
So it makes perfect sense that the "sexual polarity" factor is
equally important in the women's version of the "Big Four" as it is
in the men's version.
Of course you want her to visually appear as if she's 100% woman,
by your very definition of the word. Beautiful, radiant, even
stunning.
But you also want that joyful energy, that sweet heart and that
supportive spirit.
Somehow, the qualities that make her potentially a great mother
turn you on also. When was the last time you heard an attractive
woman singing a lullaby? Admit it...you stopped in your tracks as ifthe Sirens themselves had begun to join together in chorus.
Hard-edged resolve doesn't cut it. Neither does corporate
ambition. All of that's your job.
Likewise, the word "butch" is quite possibly the biggest attraction
killer known to man as far as you're concerned.
Manicures, sundresses and hair that smells great are what do it for
you. And that's no coincidence...it's nature.
3) Ability To Inspire Confidence
I hear someone already. "What is this, McKay, some sort of joke? I
don't need some woman to make me feel safe and secure."
The heck you don't.
Don't get me wrong. This isn't about a woman acting as your
"protector", per se. You indeed probably don't need that.
But I'm pretty sure that among your biggest, gnarliest nightmares
when it comes to relationships are that she's going to either
humiliate you in public, second guess your dreams and/or fail to
stand beside you when the chips are down.
We as guys don't want to even think of our woman ever letting us
down. We want to believe in her like she hopefully believes in us.
Any other state of affairs leaves us flat-out unfulfilled.
4) Character
OK...you've got me here.
Perhaps an even bigger, gnarlier nightmare is getting involved in a
long-term relationship with a woman only to wake up a few years (or
even months) later with someone COMPLETELY different next to you in
bed.
Maybe it was a ruse all along, or maybe she changed.
Whatever.
When she switches religions, attitudes or even (...ahem) sex partners
on you; you'll know more than ever how important bringing a woman
of strong, upstanding character into your life really is. And that
goes double if she can't seem to tell you the truth about anything
or follow through with what she says she's going to do.
There you go. It's a pretty convincing list after all, isn't it
though?Truth be told, I definitely still advocate, as always, putting
together your own version of "The Spreadsheet" detailing the top
ten traits in a woman you can't live without. That list needs to
include your own subjective criteria based solely on personal taste.
But ultimately, just about anything on that list really is going to
fall under one of the "Big Four". Go ahead and put your own list
to the test, and let me know what you come up with.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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