[X&Y] 5 Ways To Make Her Feel Comfortable With You
Published: Sun, 09/26/10
X & Y COMMUNICATIONS WEEKLY NEWSLETTER
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WHAT'S INSIDE: Making a woman feel safe and secure in your
presence is one of the "Big Four". Here are five simple, concrete
and easy ways you can get the job done...
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THE ULTIMATE SKILL FOR GETTING WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE
Having read the heading above, I'm sure you're wondering what that
skill might be.
Simply enough, it's the ability to persuade.
If you can cause people to agree with your point of view, you can
accomplish your dreams more easily, change the world for the
better, and even make sure those you love are provided for more
fully.
And let's just tell it like it is: If you hold the power of
persuasion, you're far more likely to get what you want out of life.
But here's the thing. Most of us are pretty decent guys, so we
don't really want to be manipulative or play "mind games" with
people. That's not very fulfilling, is it?
Still, the "law of the jungle" applies. Either you influence
others as a leader or you end up being influenced and led--usually
toward SOMEONE ELSE'S plan for your life and your welfare.
And let's face it. Nobody's going to have a more benevolent (and
dare I say BETTER) plan for your life than YOU. When you leave it
to someone else to give you what you want, you end up disappointed
nearly 100% of the time, don't you?
So how do you become the influential, persuasive man you know you'd
like to be?
Enter Mike Lee, author of 20 Day Persuasion.
I've told you about Mike's program before, and you've responded
powerfully to his 100% ethical "no games" approach to teaching you
to be more persuasive.
And let me tell you, given the quality of Mike's work and the sheer
volume of cool bonuses he's provided in the past, you've especially
loved how much "bang for the buck" he delivers:
Well now Mike has completely updated his program, renaming it How
To Be An Expert Persuader.
He's almost DOUBLED the content of the core program and re-mastered
all of the audios.
Best of all, as of right now Mike has not changed the price of his
amazing program...but that's in the works before September is over.
So in other words, if you'd like to acquire the kind power to
influence others that's usually only reserved for heads of state
and captains of business, the first step is to act boldly to get
what you want:
And need I express to you how powerful this kind of skill could be
when it comes to demonstrating the kind of leadership ability
that's naturally attractive to women?
That segues nicely to our "topic du jour"...
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5 WAYS TO MAKE HER FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH YOU
While it's true that you can attract a woman with confident
masculinity, she may still refuse to actually go out with you
unless you can combine that attraction with COMFORT in your
presence.
That's one of the "Big Four": Making her feel secure and
comfortable around you.
So you've GOT TO create that feeling in her. Without it, you'll
find yourself beating your head against the wall wondering why
apparently willing women keep flaking out on you when the time
comes to hang out with them.
For many of us however, figuring out exactly HOW to make a woman
feel secure in our presence isn't so easy to do in the real world.
After all, we as guys don't exactly have to fear for our physical
safety when we're with a woman. As such, creating a "safe zone"
for her to feel attracted to us in isn't necessarily something we
can relate to directly.
And that's understandable.
But no worries, my good man. Here are five simple concepts you can
commit to memory that are all but sure to help you get everything
right the next time you're with a woman:
1) Give Her Physical Space
This one seems obvious, but it remains amazing to me how many guys
want to crowd a woman's 18" of "personal space" sooner than later,
and especially how many guys want to "escalate kino" early and
often.
When you get right down to it, the desire to maintain some distance
between yourself and someone you barely know isn't exactly gender
specific.
All you've really got to do here is remember that women are HUMAN
just like you.
If she's attracted to you, great. Make her feel SAFE with you also
and it'll be HER idea to get close to you before you know it
(perhaps literally).
That's a guarantee...unless you're dealing with a truly desperate
woman who has little if any self-respect...or dignity. And what do
you want with her, anyway?
But get greedy here and you'll blow it. And that's also a
guarantee.
2) Keep It Real...And Even Keel
Check it out...I made a rhyme.
Great. That makes it easier for you to remember, which you should.
While I understand that "just be yourself" is crappy dating advice,
what I'm getting at here is that you DO NOT want to come off like
some syrupy sweet "sales guy" with a hidden agenda.
You don't want to "soften your demeanor" in an attempt not to
"offend" or "bother" her with your masculine presence. She's
actually ATTRACTED to men, so you have nothing to worry about
there.
So don't "neuter" yourself thinking that's going to work. Heck, it
isn't even NATURAL.
Moreover, freeing yourself up from expectations to "mirror her"
and/or attain "performance perfection" is also a great idea...likely
to cause you to calm down and be more comfortable in HER presence
also.
Hey, women follow your lead...so choose wisely.
While you're at it, keep an "even keel" by not making any sudden
grandiose gestures, changing the tone or volume of your voice
abruptly, and/or letting your mood swing rapidly from one place to
another.
Nothing will make a woman scramble for the door faster than that
sort of thing.
3) Don't Be Her "Yes" Man
Whatever you do, don't agree with all of her preposterous
notions--no matter what--simply because you want her "approval".
If she talks about how much she loves disco and strawberry
daiquiris, you DO NOT have to have that in common with her.
In fact, saying you like that stuff also is MORE LIKELY to backfire
than to help you create attraction.
Go ahead and tell her you prefer Guinness and AC/DC.
Stay true to your personality and to your opinions and speak your
mind--all in a civilized manner, of course.
She'll know exactly where she stands with you and that you are
unafraid to be truthful...and she'll adore that feeling.
4) Practice Reasonable Chivalry
Chivalry is NOT dead. And it's NOT "kissing up" either.
You open her car door and walk on the outside of the curb not
because she's inherently a weakling or because you're waiting on
her hand and foot, but because you care enough to VISIBLY
demonstrate that you have HER best interests at heart and that you
know how to be a protector if need be.
That's all good all the time. Never scoff at the opportunity to be
chivalrous.
Let it happen naturally, without fanfare OR complaint.
5) Trust Her First...In A Tangible Way
This one is golden, so listen up.
What is the ultimate representation of safety and security in
someone else's presence?
That's TRUST, of course.
Knowing women follow your lead, your best chance at creating an
outstanding first impression as a man who knows how to make a woman
feel safe and secure is to TRUST HER FIRST.
Now, this doesn't mean you need to lend her your car and/or let her
pack your parachute the next time you go skydiving.
All it takes is a very simple gesture that gets the message across.
For example, try this. When you're sitting across the table at a
coffee shop together, leave your wallet on the table as you excuse
yourself to the restroom. Ask her if she'll watch it for you while
you're gone.
Mission accomplished.
I realize that it's immensely helpful to have objective ideas and
examples to back what can seem like nebulous concepts at times.
I "trust" that from now on you'll feel all the more empowered to
help women feel safe and secure in your presence.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. We're going to start doing more teleseminars for you...and yes,
they'll be f-r-e-e. What topics would you like for us to cover and
which guests, if any, would you like for us to invite?
P.P.S. Those of you who are members of the Power Sessions inner
circle are in for some GREAT videos featuring new friends of mine I
met in Oslo at the Summit 2010 conference.
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Questions? Feel free to send yours to scot@deservewhatyouwant.com
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